RENTER'S BLUES
By Linda J.
Disclaimer: yeah, yeah, yeah, they're not mine, I don't own them, they won't make me rich!
Rating: PG
Setting: Takes place after X2
Summery: The brotherhood is looking for a new headquarters
"It's not much to look at…" The landlord warned the strange and rather odd looking group as he opened the front door. "But it's the only furnished place I have right now."
"It will do nicely," Erik assertively declared before he even saw the inside the aged two story house.
"Um…some things may need a little fixin'," the older white 'normal' looking male explained as the rest of the group slowly strolled into the house, examining what was probably to become their new hideout. "I'll get to them soon. I promise"
Pyro leaned over to whisper to Mystique who had taken the form of an ordinary looking woman, "Like hell he will."
She gave him a flirtatious smile. This young juicy boy was next on her "hit" list and winked.
"Have you ever known a normie who wasn't a born liar?" Magneto gave the two mutants a harsh keep quiet look and began to rush the landlord over to the side to discuss the leasing arrangements.
"Hey!" The ferocious mutant, known to most as Sabretooth, bellowed as he started walking up the stairs, "Can we keep animals in here?"
"You better hope we can," Toad who was testing all the light switches, spoke in a teasing manner. "Otherwise, you'll have to stay outside."
"Grrrrrrrr" Victor gave his quasi friend a threatening look but chose to ignore his remark for the moment at least and continued to walk up the stairs.
Meanwhile Mystique and Pyro made their way into the kitchen. It was dingy and the walls were covered with faded, old and poorly designed wall-paper. The ceiling was covered with water spots from the leaking roof. Pyro walked over to the double sink and looked down at the rust stains and the dripping faucet. He nervously played with his lighter opening and closing its lid with even more fervor then usual, perhaps the annoying noise it made was John's way of unconsciously expressing his dissatisfaction to his new home.
Mystique opened the door to the pantry and flipped the light switch on. Suddenly, the cool, calm, commanding and ever in control Mystique came running from the kitchen screaming at the top of her lungs!
"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" She cried. "Mouse!"
"Um…yeah, yeah," The landlord tried to explain away the problem. "The last tenants were a bunch of slobs…never cleaned up after themselves. We've been trying to get rid of the pests for a couple of weeks now, but there might still be a couple of rodents hanging around. A few bugs too but nothing really bad."
"Then you live here and we'll take YOUR house!" Pyro threatened the landlord only to have Magneto grab him by the shoulder and whirl him around to speak to him.
"This place will suit our needs just fine young man. Now," Magneto used a caring and fatherly voice. "Go check on Mystique, she is probably hiding in the van."
"Mouse? Where?" Sabretooth asked excitedly as he leaped from the balcony to the living room floor with a thud. At that moment both Toad and Sabretooth were making a mad dash into the kitchen. "It's mine!" Toad yelled, "I was here first!"
A moment later both Erik and the landlord could hear the two mutants in the kitchen struggling to get the mouse first.
"I called it!" Sabretooth growled as Toad kicked him into the wall.
"Too bad, you mangy ol' cat!" Toad retorted as Sabretooth through a kitchen chair at him. crash
"Ah! There it is!" The mouse was hiding in the corner of the room praying for dear life. ZAP and suddenly the mouse was in Toad's mouth and swallowed in one gulp.
"Don't feel bad Vic." Toad tried to comfort Sabretooth before his temper got the best of him. "I'll let you have the next one."
The landlord looked at Erik and made sure he pointed out the part of the lease that said the renter was responsible for paying for all damages incurred to the property as long as the lease was in there name. Erik signed the papers and paid the landlord in cash a six month advance, so no questions were asked and there whereabouts where kept secret. The brotherhood moved in and started to stake out their rooms.
Mystique insisted on having her own bedroom, much to Erik's disappointment. This left four men to share two bedrooms.
"Don't worry bout me." Sabretooth happily chirped as he carried in his sleeping bag which was actually a collection of furs that he'd piled together and rolled up into a bundle for easy transporting. "You know where I'll be." And with that he opened a window and started to climb onto the roof.
"Where the hell IS he going?" Pyro wondered strangely.
"Creed's rather fond of perching." Erik mildly explained the huge felinoid's habits to the newest member of the brotherhood.
"The bloody wanker's got a lot of quirks, but we love him," Toad smirked as they heard the heavy foot steps pounding above there heads.
"Well…" Erik then asserted himself. "That settles things rather nicely. I take this room, and you two can have that one." Toad and Pyro looked dreadfully at each other.
"No thanks… I'll take the couch," Pyro sounded depressed as he began to walk down the stairs. He was beginning to wonder if coming over to the brotherhood was such a great idea after all when he heard an ominous sound coming from the roof; a creaking, crackling noise that seemed to get louder by the second. Suddenly just as everyone heard Sabretooth's howl, the roof gave way and he came crashing through the roof through Mystique's bed room which was on the second floor, through the living room, narrowly missing Pyro, on the first floor and finally ended up in the unfinished basement.
"I'm OK, I'm OK." Sabretooth reassured his colleagues as he climbed out of the new pit in the middle of the living room.
"Like any of us care." Mystique quipped as she came down the stairs in a huff.
"Surely we're NOT staying here any more!" Pyro insisted.
"Fine… fine," Erik gave up and threw his hands in the air. "We'll stay at a hotel tonight and look for somewhere new tomorrow." The group left the house in shambles and began searching for a hotel. The only one open was a ringky dingky "No-tell Motel" type of hotel just on the other side of town.
"I only have one room left so all of you will have to share," the night manager said as he greedily counted the extra money Erik threw at him. Pyro shook his head, Wonder if Charles would take me back,' he thought to himself just as he heard Mystique once again scream "Mouse!" while Toad and Sabretooth once more chased the rodent around the property trying to catch it first.
–THE END