Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"Stoned at the Nail Salon" by Lorde
Got a memory of waiting in your bed wearing only my earrings
We'd go dancing all over the landmines under our town
But the sun has to rise
When it does, we'll divide up the papers
Two former hell-raisers
I'm still crazy for you, babe

Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now
It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads

RPOV

My eyelids flutter open, and I'm instantly annoyed at the brightness of the morning sun. I was so, so comfortable snuggled up against Jacob all night despite sleeping outside on the hard porch.

Eyes still closed, I roll over, searching for the warmth of him that is no longer against my back. When I can't feel him, I open my eyes again to find myself back in our bed inside the cabin.

I sit up quickly, looking around me. Goddamnit, did Jake carry me back inside and leave again?

Jacob's not in bed, but… I hear the shower running in the bathroom.

My heart starts racing. Butterflies dance around in my stomach. My breathing accelerates.

Jacob is here.

In his human form.

In the bathroom.

Taking a shower.

Naked.

My cheeks flush. I basically threw myself at him last night and he somewhat rejected me. But still… But still my body is buzzing for the man who is literally ten feet away from my bed in the shower.

I hear the water turn off and shower door open.

Oh my god.

I feel like a flustered virgin.

Get it together, I scold myself.

It's like I have no idea how to control my body's reactions. I force myself to gulp down a few deep breaths. I remind myself that Jacob and I are still rebuilding things and maybe sex isn't the best place to start when we haven't really talked to each other yet.

My palms begin to feel sweaty. I reach up and run my fingers through my hair, self-consciously trying to smooth down any bedhead.

The bathroom door finally opens, and when I turn to look at him for the first time in months, I'm…

I'm completely speechless and awestruck.

He stops in the doorway when we make eye contact, only a towel hanging low on his hips. His shaggy, shoulder-length hair is glistening with water droplets. He's wearing a stoic, somewhat harsh expression on his face – jaw tense, eyebrows pulled slightly in. Closed off, cold.

I swallow, my throat suddenly extremely dry. We just stare at each other for several seconds, neither of us saying anything. Not being able to control myself, my eyes betray me as they fall away from his face and trail down his beautiful body – down his sharp jawline, toned chest, bulging biceps… All the way down to that little V-shape with a dusting of hair that disappears under the towel.

Feeling even more embarrassment, my entire body on fire, I meet his smoldering gaze again.

His expression stays the same, but the edge of his left eyebrow ticks up the slightest bit before he walks out of the doorway and over to the dresser. He opens the top drawer, grabbing out a pair of underwear. He turns to face me before, unhesitatingly, dropping his towel onto the wooden floor.

Quickly glancing down, I see that I'm definitely not the only one insanely aroused right now.

Okay, maybe we can have sex before talking. Yes. Yes, that sounds like a perfectly acceptable plan to me.

Make up sex is totally what needs to happen.

Immediately.

I throw the covers back from the bed and quickly stand. Jake doesn't reach to pull on his boxers as I walk toward him. I stop when I'm standing about six feet away.

Not breaking eye contact with him, I lift my t-shirt up and over my head, revealing my bare chest since I never sleep with a bra on. Jacob glances down. More heat rushes through me when Jacob's dark eyes meet mine again, looking absolutely feral.

I push my pajama shorts down, now only clad in my boy-short panties. Jacob's eyes roam my body again. I take a shaky breath.

When Jacob's eyes find mine once again, his expression is still harsh, but also hungry.

Hungry for me.

I could never forget the way Jacob looks when he's aroused. And right now, he's aching for me as much as I am for him. The only exception is that he's never looked at me this coldly before.

Will this be angry fucking then? That's fine with me so long as his hand are on my body as soon as humanly (or vampirely) possible.

I take a slow, hesitant step forward as I continue soaking in the sight of his perfect body.

I want to drop to my knees in front of him and worship the beauty that he is. I want to make him lose this needing-to-be-in-control-of-everything façade.

I want to make him lose control and completely surrender himself to me.

I want to take him in my mouth and hear him moan my name in that husky tone that's reserved for only me.

I want him to bury his hands in my hair and rock his hips, fucking my mouth.

I want him to relinquish himself to me and remember that I will always help him carry the hard things life throws at us.

I want him to come so hard that this wall of control and tension crashes down until all that's left is my carefree, sweet Jacob again.

I slowly step forward again. Jacob doesn't move, but I notice his body slightly shaking. He balls his hands into fists at his sides, and I notice the tension in his jaw as he clamps his teeth together.

Is he trying not to shift? Why is he so tense? Is he angry at me?

I stop and look up at him hesitantly. I raise my eyebrows in question. He gives me a stiff nod, indicating it's okay for me to come closer.

I take two more steps then stop only inches away from him. Keeping eye contact, I slowly begin to kneel down.

As soon as I'm on my knees in front of him, preparing to reach out and take him in my mouth, a loud ringing sound goes off, startling us both.

I look up to see Jacob closing his eyes tightly. He shakes his head then turns away from me and walks over to his nightstand where he unplugs his phone and holds it up to his ear.

"Hello?" His beautiful, husky voice says.

I'm momentarily stunned.

Did Jacob just chose answering his phone over receiving a blow job?

What… what just happened?

I stare down at the ground in front of me for a second. When I feel emotion welling up in my chest, I quickly stand and bolt for the bathroom. I close the door hastily behind me and lock it. I turn on the shower before leaning against the wall and sliding down. I fold my arms on top of my knees and burrow my head in them, pulling myself into a tight little ball.

Then I cry.

. . . . . . . .

When I get out of the shower, I hesitantly open the bathroom door and look into the bedroom. Jacob's not there. I tiptoe to the bedroom door and peek out into the living room then walk toward the kitchen.

He's gone.

More tears fill my eyes, but I blink them away.

I turn and walk back into the bathroom where I get dressed, brush my teeth, and dry my hair.

While applying my usual makeup, I decide that giving Jacob space is probably the best thing I can do right now. I'm not allowing my body to control our interactions any longer. He has every right to be angry with me, and I don't want to push him and make him more upset. I will follow his lead from now on.

I sigh as I apply my chapstick then walk over to the closet to pull on my shoes. I'm going to go see my Grandma Esme and my aunts. Maybe I can fight with my uncles. Yes, I want to spar with them; it's been far too long, and I want to make it part of my daily routine again.

I grab a banana from the kitchen, grateful I went to the store yesterday because all that was here prior was moldy bread and empty take-out containers.

I peel the banana, grab my purse, and make my way outside. I turn around to lock the door then jump out of my skin when I turn back around. I throw my banana right into his chest and step my left foot forward automatically, straight into a fighting stance. The training from my uncles will always be front and center in my mind.

"Hey," Jacob says as he catches the banana I launched at him. He holds it out to me, so I reach forward and take it. Has he been here the entire time?

When I don't say anything, he reaches forward and puts his index finger under my chin, tilting my head back to meet his gaze.

His expression is definitely less severe, but there's still a careful, cautious mask he's wearing.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I guess I don't know how to be with you now either." I nod once then break away from his gaze by closing my eyes and moving my head to the side. He drops his hand.

"You were shaking earlier, like you were trying not to shift. Why?" I ask quietly.

He presses his lips together and runs a hand through his hair nervously. "You… smell different," he says cautiously. "It puts some innate part of me into this primal, envious frenzy… Although I still felt in control, I was thankful when Leah called. Better safe than sorry."

I smell different? What? I don't know what that means at all. How could I smell different? Unless… unless, is it something to do with me sleeping with that Steven guy? I remember Jacob telling me once that our combined scent after sex is the most calming thing to the wolf part of him. Is my scent thrown off from Steven?

Oh my god.

I blush at this potential realization.

There's all kinds of weird scent stuff with werewolves. Can Jake tell I slept with someone else? Should I come clean about it right now? I truly want to tell him everything. I want to completely open up to him… But is now the right time?

It's quiet for several more seconds as I ponder how to proceed. Eventually, Jacob clears his throat and says, "Will you still fix my hair?"

"Right now?" I squeak.

He shrugs and slips his hands into his pockets in a nervous gesture. "Or later. It doesn't matter. Were you going somewhere?"

"I was just going to see my family, maybe fight with my uncles, play the piano for my grandma. But I can go this afternoon instead."

I'll take any time I can get with Jacob at this point, so before he can change my mind, I turn around and fumble to unlock the front door. I set my purse and keys down then make my way toward the bathroom while I finish my banana. I toss the peel into the trash can, set my phone down on the counter, and begin rummaging through one of the bottom drawers for the hair clippers.

Jacob walks in behind me with a chair from the kitchen. He sets it down in front of the counter and plops down into it. I set everything out on the counter – hair clippers, scissors, comb, and spray bottle.

Jacob reaches back and pulls the elastic out of his hair. He had it tied back messily because of how long it is. He pulls his shirt up over his head and tosses it outside the bathroom.

Standing behind him, I catch his gaze in the mirror and give him a small smile before reaching to run my fingers through his hair a few times. His eyes close. He leans further back into the chair, like his body is finally beginning to relax. It's a totally different reaction from the one earlier when I was getting close to him.

I continue sliding my fingers through his still-damp hair and begin massaging his scalp. A low, almost inaudible moan escapes from back in his throat. The sound sets my body on high alert. I love making Jacob's body respond like this.

When he finally blinks his eyes open, I reach for the spray bottle and wet his hair before grabbing the comb and brushing it through his thick, jagged strands.

I ask him how short he wants his hair, and he just shrugs and tells me I can decide. We're silent as I get to work. I decide to keep it long enough for him to pull back in that messy knot thing of his because it does things to me. And, plus, I know Jacob likes having his hair a little longer again.

I have so many things I want to say to him, so many things I want to ask him about, but I need to follow his lead like I decided earlier, so I stay quiet.

When I set the scissors down on the counter and reach for the comb again, my phone buzzes. I pick it up quickly, ensuring everything is okay. With Serena still out there, I'm constantly nervous for more bad news.

I smile when I see that it's Nahuel. Did everyone like the food yesterday?

Yes! Thanks again for helping me.

No problem.

I set my phone back down then run the comb through Jacob's hair.

"Who was that?" Jacob asks.

"Nahuel," I respond. "He helped me make the food for the pack yesterday."

Jacob makes a disapproving grunt. "Yeah, everyone was thinking how good the food was last night. I had to make sure they were talking about food you made."

"Careful. I'm the one with the scissors. I could cut a large chunk of your hair out if provoked." I joke as I wave the comb at him. Are we going to be normal like this again – bantering back and forth?

His expression seems to soften a little. "You two close now?"

I shrug, thinking back to Rachel's insinuation about Nahuel. Is that what Jacob's worried about, too? Is he jealous or worried that Nahuel is more than just my friend? Does he think that's why I smell different?

"I guess we're close, yeah," I pause for a moment. "We're just friends, though, Jake… You know, he stopped drinking blood after meeting my family. He only eats human food now, which is why he's so good at cooking."

I reach for the scissors again as he responds with just a, "hmm."

I'm not sure why it feels so important for Jacob to like Nahuel, but it does. So, I try again, "He said he doesn't want to be a monster like his father. He's fiercely protective of his aunt and sister, Maysun, and her family. He… Well, I guess he reminds me of you in some ways, actually. I think you both would really get along."

Jacob looks up. Our eyes lock in the mirror again. He shakes his head slightly. "I don't think so."

I'm confused by the harsh undertone in his words. Jacob interacted with Nahuel once all those years ago and that's it. How can he know they wouldn't get a long? Does he think Nahuel and I are more than just friends? Or is it because he's part vampire? Does his prejudice runs that deep? Nahuel is a hybrid like me…

We both stay quiet after that while I finish his haircut. When I'm done, I set everything on the counter before putting my hands on his shoulders and leaning forward so my cheek presses against the side of his head. He stiffens and takes in a sharp breath.

Looking in the mirror at him, I ask, "What do you think?"

"It's better. Thanks."

"Much better," I amend, giving his shoulders a light squeeze.

He just nods before standing up and walking toward the bathroom door. He says over his shoulder, "I gotta get back. Just so you know, one of us is always patrolling near the cabin just as an extra safety precaution due to Serena's threat. If you leave, one of us will trail close behind."

I roll my eyes. "I can take care of –"

"Yeah, I know you can take care of yourself." Jacob bites out. "You've made that abundantly clear. Just humor me for once, would you, please?"

I turn and glare at him. "Why don't you say what you really want to say, Jake?"

His hands ball into fists and the trembling starts along his spine. "Because I don't want to hurt you."

I take a step toward him. "I'm sure what you're thinking isn't worse than what I already think about myself, so go ahead. Fucking say it."

He softens at my comment. He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a second. When his hand drops, he murmurs, "Sorry, Ness."

Then he turns and leaves. The last thing I hear is the front door slamming shut behind him.

Sighing, I clean up the bathroom then head to my family's main house.

I spend the remainder of the afternoon with my vampire family. My Aunt Rosalie braids my hair. My Aunt Alice chats with me about some new clothing designs she's working on. I play the piano with my dad while my Grandma Esme hovers close behind, absorbing the music she loves so much. My mom tells me about a new book she thinks I will like. My Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper spar with me outside for a few hours until I'm exhausted.

I show my family the new part of my talent, and each of them is amazed, just like my parents were yesterday.

When I finally decide to head home, it's late in the evening. I catch a glimpse of Quil in the trees and roll my eyes. I guess Jacob doesn't know about my newfound power yet, but it's still insulting he thinks I need constant protection. Maybe my dad had something to do with it, too. I silently groan while making my way home.

Jacob's not home when I get there. I change into my pajamas, eat some of yesterday's leftovers, and crawl into bed soon after that. Even though it feels wrong to be in this bed without Jake, I'm not sleeping outside with him after his reactions to me today. He seems to be fighting with some inner demons or something, so I'm not going to push our relationship on him.

I guess he'll talk to me when he's ready.

. . . . . . . .

The next month passes in a blur.

Brady's funeral was the day after I cut Jacob's hair. He had to arrive at the small church on the reservation early and didn't ask me to join him, so I went with my parents.

It was incredibly sad to see Brady's family and the rest of the wolf pack. My dad said he really struggled during the service and lunch afterwards because of how gut-wrenching everyone's pain was.

Since the funeral, Jacob and I have barely talked. I've left the ball in his court because I don't want to push him. He still sleeps outside, but we see each other briefly every morning when he comes inside to take a shower. I make us coffee, and we usually sit in the living room and drink it together. We don't talk about anything of importance.

I haven't told him anything about my trip. That means he knows nothing about my new power, my friendship with Nahuel and Senna, the healing I've done, or about me sleeping with Steven.

Feeling desperate, a few days ago I asked my dad what Jacob's mind has been like lately. He flipped the question around and asked why I haven't used my power to see for myself. I told him how it feels like an invasion of privacy. He said me asking him was also an invasion of privacy. Touché, dad.

I even tried asking Leah if Jacob was okay, and she told me just to give him some time.

When I'm not drinking coffee with Jake for those precious twenty minutes every morning, I'm training with my uncles, hanging with Leah and checking in on the rest of the pack, or at the cottage with my parents.

I decided I want to go to graduate school, so I applied to the master's program for social work. All the work I did with Senna made me realize I want to learn more about helping people. I should hear back in a couple weeks if I'm accepted or not.

Nothing new has occurred with Serena and Joham. We don't have any leads on this mystical dagger situation either. My family has been researching and reaching out to friends to see if anyone has heard about the dagger or if they know where it may be, but they have no new information.

That's why I'm surprised when I finish my workout with my uncles this morning and pick up on a vampire and hybrid scent as I'm walking back to the cabin to shower.

Before I even have time to process that I know those scents, Seth darts out of the trees and is instantly in front of me. Jacob's still having me trailed everywhere by one of the wolves.

"Seth, it's okay!" I yell at him. "It's Nahuel and his aunt, Hulien!"

I had no idea they were coming. Why are they here? I don't care why, but I'm instantly ecstatic. I've missed Nahuel so much. We usually text a little every day and talk on the phone a little, but I've really missed his friendship.

"I think the trail leads back to my family's house," I tell Seth excitedly. "I'm going to go see what they're doing here."

Seth howls loudly before jumping in front of me when I turn to walk back. I grimace at him and try again, but he blocks me.

"Seth, seriously, I know it's them. There's no threat!"

He growls and shakes his head at me.

"Is Jacob making you block me?"

He looks down. His shoulders rise then fall in a shrug. I narrow my eyes.

"Tell Jake I love him, but he can shove it." I say before quickly leaping over Seth and taking off in the trees back toward my family's house, following the scent trail. Seth is right behind me, but he hasn't caught up yet.

As soon as I break through the trees, I see all my family outside talking to Nahuel and Hulien. Nahuel has my large duffel bag slung over his shoulder. I want to cry when I see him because I'm so happy he's here.

Even though being back with my family has been great, it's just nice to have someone exactly like me around. Nahuel and I relate to each other so much because we're both hybrids, but also because I think he's my friend soulmate.

I rush up the lawn and throw my arms around Nahuel once I'm close enough, wrapping him in a tight hug. He laughs as he hugs me back.

"What are you doing here?" I demand. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I needed to bring your stuff to you. I wanted to surprise you."

"You could have mailed it."

He shrugs. "I wanted to see you."

I grin then hug him one more time before releasing him and pulling Hulien into an embrace as well. When I pull away, I notice Hulien's frigid stare by the trees where Seth is.

"He's harmless," my dad reassures Hulien. "He's just ensuring Nessie's safety."

"Why don't we all head inside?" My grandpa suggests.

"Yes. It's been far too long. Come inside and let us catch up." My grandma says as she and my grandpa walk to the front door, ushering everyone inside.

I grab Nahuel's hand when he starts to walk toward the door. "Give us a sec." I say when my mom turns around with a questioning look. She nods as she follows everyone else inside.

When it's just Nahuel and me, he drops my duffel bag on the porch and smiles. "Is that Jacob over there?" He nods his head toward the trees.

"No, that's Seth. I wish it was Jake."

He looks at me questioningly. "Why is Seth guarding you?"

"I guess we haven't talked about all this yet… But Serena was the one who killed my friend, Brady. Apparently, she also threatened to harm me if the wolf pack doesn't stay out of her way. She thinks my family has that dagger Joham wants. Jacob's just being overprotective and always has one of the wolves trailing me to ensure my safety."

Nahuel's jaw clenches, and his face turns red. "She won't fucking hurt you or any more of your friends. I'll be sure of it," he says through gritted teeth. "I'm so sorry, Nessie."

I put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. It's not your fault."

He continues fuming for a several seconds until his gaze goes over my shoulder. Almost automatically, I feel his shoulder relax under my palm. The tension melts out of his expression, and his eyes slightly widen – not in fear, but maybe in wonderment or curiously.

I drop my hand and turn to follow his line of sight. Leah is sitting by the break in the trees, several yards away from where Seth was. I look around, but no longer see him anywhere.

"Who is that?" Nahuel asks in a dreamy sort of way. I glance back at him skeptically. He's staring at Leah in this weird trance-like way. When I turn to glance back at Leah, she also has a vulnerable, doe-eyed expression that's not at all like her.

"That's Leah. I'm not sure why she's here, actually. She's usually only patrolling at night. She must have heard Seth's howl earlier and came to check on him."

"Leah…" He trails off. "Was she part of the pack when I came here all those years ago?"

I nod. "Yes."

Still not taking his eyes off her, he mutters, "I guess I didn't see her then… God, she's beautiful."

A huge grin breaks out across my face because I think I know what's happening between the two of them right now. Leah just –

"Nessie!" I hear Seth call my name. I turn around and see him walking up the opposite side of the porch in his human form.

When he's close enough, I introduce Nahuel and Seth. They shake hands quickly because Nahuel still seems distracted. Seth, trying to be nonchalant, gestures between Leah and Nahuel. He smirks and nods his head, confirming my exact thought from just a moment ago.

"Listen," Seth says once our silent, somewhat subtle moment is over. "Jake's gonna kill me for this later, but I don't care. He got here a minute or two before Leah. Long story short, he got upset when he saw you and Nahuel. He ran back to the cabin, and shifted into his human form after giving Leah and me orders to stay here and guard you just to be safe. He has the rest of day shift patrolling to ensure it's only Nahuel and Hulien here."

"Why did he get upset?" I ask. "Because I ran from you?"

Seth shrugs. "He should be the one to tell you, but… He's beating himself up over everything and feels like he doesn't deserve you anymore. He… he keeps thinking of himself as damaged. He just… He needs you right now. I don't think he'll let anyone else check on him."

My stomach twists uncomfortably. Jacob thinks he's damaged? I feel like someone just punched me in the gut because I know that feeling so well, and I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy.

I swallow loudly before nodding at Seth. I tell Nahuel I'll catch up with him later, but I'm not even sure he heard me. He just mumbles an "okay" before I sprint into the trees and run back to the cabin as quickly as possible.

I throw the front door open and glance around before spotting Jacob in the kitchen. He's holding a glass of water, staring out the little window above the kitchen sink. He doesn't turn when I walk into the room.

"Jake," I say quietly from the doorway. He glances over his shoulder briefly.

"What are you doing here, Ness?" Jacob asks harshly.

"You were at my family's house, but you left."

He downs the rest of the water in his cup before banging it down loudly on the counter. "I saw you with him."

I stare at him, utterly confused by his reaction. "Who? Nahuel?"

He rolls his eyes. "Yes."

"He just came to drop off the rest of the stuff I left in Chile."

"That's the only reason he came. Right," Jacob snorts sarcastically and shakes his head, unconvinced. Apparently he shifted back before noticing what just happened between Leah and Nahuel.

Regardless, his reaction makes me fume. I've been more than patient with him since I've gotten home. I want to mend things with him, but not when he's in a mood like this.

I'm done playing nice. I square my shoulders and take a step closer to him. "Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind, Jake?"

He doesn't miss a beat as he turns around to face me. "Your smile."

My brows furrow in utter confusion because I wasn't expecting that answer at all. "What?"

"You smile at him, Nessie," Jacob says, his voice shaking with a mixture of anger and anguish. "I haven't seen you smile at me like that in months. But he can make you smile. He can make you happy."

I'm quiet for a moment as I process Jacob's words. Things with Nahuel are just… easy. There's no baggage in my friendship with him, so it's easy to be happy when I'm around him. It used to be that way with Jacob before the miscarriages and the sexual assault that happened to Avery. I want to put in the effort to get back to that good place with him. I want Jacob to be the person that makes me laugh and smile more than anyone else in the world.

I'm still contemplating how to communicate all this to Jacob when his body begins to shake. He balls his hands into fists and closes his eyes tightly. I can tell he's taking some deep breaths and trying to control the anger he's feeling.

I don't want to make it worst by explaining, so I stay quiet and wait for him to regain some of his composure.

A few seconds later, he opens his eyes and says through clenched teeth, "Did you play house with him in Chile? Is that why he came after you? Did you fuck him? His goddamn scent is all over you, Nessie, and so is someone else's!"

I thought I was angry at him before, but now I'm livid. Jacob has every right to be upset with me, but not like this.

My face feels hot, my jaw is tense, and if my murderous glare could cause harm, it would likely injure Jacob.

My own hands ball into fists as I take another step toward him. I want to punch him. Hard. But, somehow, I refrain. "What if I did fuck him or someone else?" I spit out tauntingly.

He growls in frustration, and his body starts shaking even more. I know I shouldn't have said that, but it slipped out in my moment of rage.

He closes his eyes for a second and the shaking slows. "I bet he also likes that little sighing noise you make right before you come, huh?"

I narrow my eyes at him. If he's going to be an ass, I'm going to dish it back to him. I'm tired of playing nice because it's getting us no where. "Little? Oh. No sound I made with him was little."

Jacob's body shakes again, and his jaw clenches. His muscles are tight and straining everywhere, which is making my body react in interesting ways… Heat begins pooling in my core as I become hyperaware of Jacob's body; he's only a few feet from me, but that suddenly feels like miles. My body is screaming to be connected to his even though he's struggling to stay in this human body.

"You belong to me, Renesmee." Jacob snarls as he takes a step forward. We're only inches apart now. "I'm going fucking insane smelling someone else all over you."

"First of all, I don't fucking belong to anyone; I'm not property, so stop being such a possessive alphahole," I narrow my eyes at him. "Second of all, you are the only one who's ever had my heart, you jealous idiot!"

As soon as the words leave my mouth, he growls and lunges at me.