Chapter 6
Maya's POV
As I watched Legolas holding Ari, I couldn't help but feel unwanted. Damn it, that was my sister and I should've been the one by her! LEGOLAS WAS A BASTARD TO ME, BUT HE GOT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH ARI! WHAT THE FUCK!
Wait…Ari should have been so triumphant! Why the hell was she crying! She was getting quality elf-cuddling time dammit! I want an elf…
No I don't! I blimmin bloody well don't! I'm just a little jealous because Ari has a cute walking, talking Kleenex is all. Lego is gonna do whatever Ari wants because he's so smitten with her, he'd probably dive off a cliff for a falling Reeses if she asked him to. But somehow I don't think she'd send her elf off a cliff, she'd rather he was there to do other things…
Wait, did I just call Princey 'her elf'? And…AGH! IMAGES! BLOODY FUCKING SHIT! BAD IMAGES!
Oh dear God, someone –besides Lego Head- shoot me. Put me out of my misery. If I'm going to get images, then I bloody well want them to be good images! Like of me and…Okay, I dunno. Somehow I can't picture myself with anybody. I guess there's just nobody I'd ever want to date.
Eh. Middle Earth males are all fucked-the-hell-up anyway. Fucking losers. Well alright, Aragorn ain't bad. And Gandalf doesn't seem like too much of a wanker. But whatever. They still all suck.
So as I watched Ari and Lego Head (she's gonna kill me for calling him that if she ever finds out) having a cuddle-fest, I suddenly felt very alone and very useless. Once again, I opted for the 'take a walk and think things out' thing. I always go running or play some baseball when I'm feeling bad, but since I can't really find a running route in a place that I've only been in for a few days and there's no such thing as baseball in Middle Earth…I figured a walk was best.
I slipped away pretty much unnoticed by everyone, as they were all seriously concerned for Ari. I was too, but I figured that if she wanted my help she'd ask for it. Considering the fact that she almost for sure wasn't going to ask for me –would YOU tear yourself away from a damn hot elf? – I wasn't worried. More than likely she'd pass out soon anyway.
As I walked through the forest along some half-faded path, tears came to my eyes. There Ari was, in the arms of someone who she could love and one who could love her. Ari, the younger one, always taken care of. But so far it had mostly been me taking care of her, so I had the blessing of her companionship. But now that Princey Pansy was in the picture, who did I have to turn to? Who did I have that I could hold when they were down, and in return would hold me?
I guess it's back to Bob the Teddy Bear for me.
And yet…Ari wouldn't forget me, would she? Nah, we'd had too many drunk-ass moments for her to shove her big sis away. I just had to accept that though Leggy was an asshole supreme to me, he wasn't to her and they were going to fall in love. If they hadn't begun to already.
Ah sick. My sister is a Mary-Sue.
What does that make me though? Mary-Sue-in-law? Mary-Sue-In-Chief? Or something entirely different, like sister forgotten because she doesn't have a hunky pointy-eared male to cuddle? Pssh, whatever. I don't feel like coming up with cheesy romantic lines to say anyway. Snogging is overrated!
Well, unless it's with an elf I would assume. It must be the whole 'immortality' thing that gives you experience without actually having to go out and get a lot of…experience. You know what? I'm confusing myself, so I'm just going to stop thinking perverted thoughts about my race now. (Have I mentioned that I still find it infinitely strange to call elves 'my race'?)
Buggering hell, I so do not want to be classified in the same group as Prince Lego Head. Eh, Ari has to suffer that same fate, so I'm good. As they say, misery loves company. And being a ninny for all of eternity definitely qualifies as being miserable in my book.
As all these illogical and rather rude thoughts ran through my head, I failed to notice that I was being followed. I reached the spandy little brook that I loved before I heard the footsteps behind me, and only then did I turn around, shiny little dagger that Aragorn was letting me borrow in my hand.
Lucky me! It was only Gandalf. No fighting for the few-days-old-elleth that is me that day! The still slightly hungover, very confused, and painfully wounded elleth that is. A sprained ankle doesn't go away that quickly to tell you the truth. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that if Elvish Barbie over there had actually tried he could've sped up my recovery a little. But oh well. He doesn't like me, and I'm sure as hell not going to ask for his help!
Gandalf observed me silently for a moment, as though considering what he should say to me. What could there possibly be to say? 'Stop getting into fights with the elf' would be one thing. But actually, 'Get the hell out of my camp!' Seemed far more likely. For some reason, however, Gandalf didn't seem like the kind of wizard to just turn two elleths unescorted and unarmed. Okay then…what was on the old man's mind?
Since I was smart enough to wait patiently for him to speak, I found out.
"Tell me everything. Who you are, where you come from, and what you know about this place. I must know if you are a danger to this Company."
Everything? He thought I'd tell him everything? Hell no! "You expect me to tell a complete stranger everything about my past and my sister's?" I said incredulously, voicing my thoughts aloud without thinking, as I have a tendency to do.
Luckily for me, Gandalf thought my suspicions valid, considering the fact that I hardly knew him. But then he asked the dreaded question:
"Do you trust me?"
Frankly? No, I wanted to answer. I don't trust easily. I used to trust Ari, but that changed when we came here. Now I'm not so sure of her judgment, and consequently not so sure of her. I love her, and she's still the one I'll go to when I need a confidante, but no longer will I feel comfortable enough to tell her all.
Instead of answering as someone with their head up their ass would, I gave a somewhat polite answer. "Not truly. But I guess that I've got no other choice but to tell you eh?"
Gandalf seemed taken aback by such frankness from a female for a moment, and then he looked thoughtful once more. "Will you at least tell me a little bit about how you came to be here, and what you know of my companions?" He asked gently.
In response, I smirked at him and leaned against a tree. "Get ready for a long story, old man."
And with that, I launched into our tale.
The tale that had started out well enough soon became a rant. A rant soon became a tirade against this world, its inhabitants, and pretty much everything that had happened to me.
"-AND PRINCE ASSHEAD OVER THERE JUST COMES RUSHING IN WITH HIS HEAD HALFWAY UP HIS ASS DOING THE WHOLE 'DAMSEL IN DISTRESS' CLICHÉ THING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU GUYS CALL IT HERE! HE DOESN'T KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT ME OR MY SISTER, AND IF HE HURTS HER HE IS GOING TO FIND HIMSELF CASTRATED BY A BLUNT OBJECT!"
Aren't my communication skills just lovely? But wait, there's more!
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY, WHAT HE SAYS, OR WHAT ANYBODY DOES, YOU HEAR? HE MAKES ONE FUCKING MOVE AT MY SISTER AND HE DIES! I WAS SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I'D KILL OR DIE FOR ARI, AND SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I'D LIKE MY KILL TO BE LEGOLAS! PRINCE OR NOT, HE'S NOT DOING A DAMN THING TO MY SISTER! HE HASN'T BEEN HELPING HER AS MUCH AS HE'S BEEN CUDDLING HER, AND HE HASN'T HELPED ME AT ALL!" I flipped off the general direction of the camp, and then yelled, "FUCK LEGOLAS, FUCK MIRKWOOD, AND FUCK THE STUPID FUCKING ELVES! I HATE THIS WORLD, I HATE MY NEW RACE, AND I HATE THE FACT THAT I EVER GOT CATAPULTED TO THIS HELLHOLE!"
I punched a tree in my fury, and let out a shriek of pain: apparently slamming one's hand into a solid object isn't a good idea. I don't believe I'd experienced the –literally- hurtful truth of that logic before.
For a long while, there was pretty much complete silence in the woods. I knew for sure that the Fellowship had easily heard my erm…statements…from where they were. And I was also sure that I'd scared off every beast, being, or creature for a few miles around with all the screaming I'd done.
Gandalf simply sat there looking astonished, and just a little bit scared. I suppose he might've thought I was gonna launch at him with the dagger, but I really wasn't mad at him. On the contrary, once I completely calmed down –which was a long while later- I was grateful that he'd sat there and taken my shit. Because really, it wasn't the old guy's fault! I didn't blame him. I just needed to be able to vent without fear of reprimand or interruption or further provocation. And for once I'd been able to do just that.
After he'd recovered from the shock hearing the extent of my rather colorful vocabulary, he heaved a great sigh. I didn't blame him. After all, I hadn't just complained.
Gandalf now knew that Ari and I already had knowledge of the future of Middle Earth, and that we both had it memorized down to the letter. Wisely, he hadn't questioned me on what was to come. Good chap, Gandalf.
Several moments went by, in which I gained control of my emotions and he thought. Finally, my breathing rate was at its usual tempo, but much deeper as I still felt like hitting things. Fortunately for me, experience is a good teacher, and I remembered that trees are quite solid, and quite hard.
Gandalf still thought.
I got bored.
Gandalf remained incredulous to my boredom.
I threw a stick at him.
This earned a reaction from him, the reaction being raised eyebrows.
I was satisfied. And quite amused.
During my giggles, Gandalf stood and came over to me. "Now that you have had your fun, I think it is time to go back to camp."
In between bouts of laughter, I asked demurely, "Can I bring more sticks?"
Laughing as well now, Gandalf answered, "I think, my dear, that you are going to need them to fend off Legolas. It seems that he and Ari are indeed becoming closer, as you said."
I gave a twitch. "Bad images. Bad, bad mental images."
Gandalf laughed again. "Let us hope that you can clear those images from your mind, as you will need all your wit for the explanation you must now give.
Heaving a sigh, I needed say only one thing: "Oh bugger."