Chapter 3

Hey its Church

Duo Jagan: Well chapter three is FINALLY up! Sorry about the loooonnnnnngggggg wait. There are three reasons why it took me so long ot post. Reason 1. Midterms

Reason 2. Flying pigs of doom

Reason 3. Midterms

Anyways now it is up and I hope you like it.

Black Infernal Alchemist: "Don't worry. Yoda may be dead but he shall remain in the hearts and souls of us all….until we completely forget about him and start worshiping mace as a god.

Platonic 1: Glad u liked it. Heres the next chapter and there is much more to come. Hope u enjoy.

Clark Cradic (): Glad you liked it, and rooster teeth wouldn't be able to use this idea because you can't exactly make 500 marines fight at once in halo online….or 1 marine in halo….but anyways glad you liked it.

Simmons: "HOLY SHIT!" Sarge had just been shot by Sheila. The marines all looked at Simmons.

Simmons: "There's only one thing to do." Simmons ran into the teliporter.

At this exact moment Griff was staring at Sarge's corpse through the sniper rifle.

Griff: "Holy shit…HE'S FINALLY DEAD! YESSSS THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU!" While Griff was talking two marines were slowly sneaking up behind him.

Griff turned around to see two marines with loaded guns.

Griff: "AH DON'T SHOOT!"

Marine: "Our orders are to kill our superior officers, however Sarge said we were above you in rank so we shouldn't kill you."

Griff: "Really?"

Marine: "I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISION TO TALK YOU MAGOT!"

Griff: "This sucks I'm out of here."

Griff began walking away from the base

Marine: "HEY I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD LEA-,"

at that exact moment a stray grenade (most likely from a one grenade salute) killed him.

Griff randomly decided to walk into the middle of blood gulch. A man in black armor randomly appeared in front of him.

Griff: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Man: AHHHHHHHHH

Griff: AHHHHHHH

Man: AHHHHHHH

Griff: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Man: "……what's your problem?"

Griff: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Man: "GRIFF SHUT UP!"

Griff: "AHHHHHHHHH how do you know my name? AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Man: "ITS ME SIMMONS!"

Griff: "Oh, then why is your armor black?"

Simmons: "I guess the thing that usually happens to Tucker happened to me."

Griff: "Oh… hey did you know the marines killed Sarge? ISN'T THAT AWESOME!"

Simmons: "Yah I kind of figured that out, poor Sarge. At least we can sleep soundly knowing he will be in a better place, where he can be truly appreciated for his superior knowledge and good looks."

Griff: "You just HAD to get one last ass kiss in didn't you?"

Simmons: "Shut up. Hey what the?" A warthog came charging at them.

Griff: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Simmons: "QUIT DOING THAT!"

The warthog pulled over next to the two morons, erm….the screaming idiot and the kiss ass soldier.

Marine: "Sorry about the inconvenience we were given a change of orders."

Griff: "AHHHHHHHHH"

Simmons: "Wait Sarge ordered you to kill him?"

Marine: "No before we were ordered to execute our superior officers only but now we are suppose to kill everyone, including you who is on the blue team, and you who are beneath us in rank."

Simmons: "Wait how did you get the warthog?"

Marine: "The blue marines gave it to us."

Simmons: "Why is there a blood stain on it?"

Marine: "That's not important."

Simmons: "Um….there is a VERY good reason why you shouldn't kill us."

Marine: "there is?"

Simmons: "Yah, you uh, need to clean the blood off the warthog."

The marines looked at each other and agreed that making the warthog sparkly clean was a priority.

Marine: "Ok do you promise to stay here and not move AT ALL while we go back and clean it?"

Simmons: "Um….sure ok."

The two marines drove off

Griff: "Great idea Simmons lets go."

Simmons: "Weren't you listening we are suppose to stay here."

Griff: "Jeeze I thought you were suppose to be the smart one. Come on. I know a great hiding place where I smuggle all of the Oreos."

Simmons: (gasp) "You liar you said that the Oreos had to be throw out due to a build up of nuclear waste!"

Griff: "I lied, so what."

Simmons: "Its your fault Donut couldn't keep his diet up! Because of that he had to start a new diet where he ate my favorite Barbie doll!"

Griff: "Your favorite what?"

Simmons: "Um, machine gun…yah…he ate my favorite machine gun…."

MEANWHILE

Marine 1: "Kill them." The six marines began slowly advancing towards Tex and Caboose."

Caboose: "So what does the A stand for?"

Tex: "Action."

Caboose. "Oh…and the I?"

Tex: "Caboose I told you this twelve times MIA means MISSING IN ACTION!"

Caboose: "Ohhhh…so what does the M stand for?"

Voice: "TEX CABOOSE JUMP!"

For some unknown reason, Tex reacted to this mysterious voice. She grabbed Caboose and leapt across the giant fan's path just as it was closing in. Gun fire could be heard for a moment, then silence.

Tex looked back to see what had happened. Caboose and she had went to the other side of the fan. The marines tried to shoot them but ended up shooting the passing blade of the fan. The bullets ricochet off the fan and hit the marines.

Voice: "Few that was close." Needless to say the voice was Church's ghost.

Tex: "Church…your dead…again…"

Church: "Yah those marines went psycho on me and shot me to death."

Caboose: "Hey it's Church!"

Church: "Yah, its me."

Caboose: "Why is your armor white?"

Church: "My armor is always right when I'm a ghost."

Caboose: "ooooooooooooooh….. who are you?"

Church: "Caboose ITS ME!"

Caboose: "Hello Me welcome to the blue team. You should probably talk to our leader Church. He yells a lot."

Church: "CABOOSE WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!"

Caboose: "yes just like that!"

Church: "Caboose…its ME…as in it's me CHURCH!"

Caboose: "Your not church your armor is the wrong color."

Church: "That's because I'm a ghost."

Caboose: "You die a lot don't you?"

Church: "…………"

Caboose: "Hey it's Church!"

Church: "Ok how about we just walk away and ignore Caboose."

Caboose: "I think that is a VERY good idea."

((MEANWHILE))

Sarge awoke to find a robotic head placed in front of him.

(A/N look I used a website to translate and everyone knows how badly websites translate so don't get offended if I say something completely unrelated to what I'm trying to say)

Lopez: "Le aparente estas destino aherir nos esto sentar" (it would seem as though fate binds us to this place)

Sarge: "…….."

Lopez: "cada semen arenoso memoria" (each grain of sand is a memory)

Sarge: "….."

Lopez: "….."

Sarge "…..I have NO Idea what you just said but I found it inspiring! Just like a peaceful song of gun fire being plaid in the middle of a bloody battle."

Lopez: "Wyoming!"

Sarge: "What's that? You want to go to Wyoming?"

Wyoming: "No he was calling me. I'm suppose to be his translator."

Lopez: "si"

Sarge: "Well what did he say?"

Wyoming: "Something about fate….and sand…and there may have been something about milkshakes in there somewhere I don't know I took French not Spanish."

Sarge: "Then why are you the translator?"

Wyoming: "More specifically….HE is…."

Sarge: "He who?"

Wyoming: "ME YOU FOOL!"

Sarge: "OMALLY!"

Wyoming (in Omally voice) "Yes, when Doc was savagely killed by the Alien I used the opportunity to jump through radio connections to the nearest host, who just happened to be a willing mercenary.

Wyoming (normal voice) "Yes but its trouble some for me to have to carry him around which is where you come in."

Sarge: "What do I do?"

Wyoming: "You must build two robots, one without any AI and BOTH must be able to speak English."

Sarge: "This seems like a rather familiar situation, but never the less…I WILL NEVER WORK FOR YOU!"

Wyoming (Omally voice) "Oh but I think you will. We currently know the location of Griff and we are currently following his every move."

Sarge: "NO!"

Wyoming (normal voice) "Yes and we will kill him unless you cooperate."

Wyoming: (Omally voice) "No other way around we wont kill him UNLESS you help us."

Sarge: "Dear god, I must choose between my joy of seeing Griff dead, and my hate for taking orders from a talking Spanish head."

Wyoming (omally voice): "TOO BAD! MWUAHHA HAHHA AHAHHAHAHAHA

That's chapter 3. I don't think it was as funny as the first two chapters so I will do my best to make the next chapter hilarious. Once again I am sorry about the late post. Blame mid terms. REVIEW AND READ! Or….READ AND REVIEW!