Later

Well. Although Kenny clearly loves Mia, I'm getting the impression that perhaps she doesn't feel the same way.

This time, things did not begin with Trevor (hmph—who would've ever thought?) but instead, with Judith.

Yes, Judith. Every G&T class and after school and before school we've been working on our booth, and while I love computers and all, I would like to go back to having a non-life at least some of the time. All day I'm around people that for the most part I can't stand; at least at home I can shut myself in my room so I don't have to face people that for the most part i can't stand (coughLillycough).

And at least in G&T I can see/talk to/admire Mia, but now Judith is there too.

Great, just great.

Not that Judith is a horrible person. But between her and Mia… well, I think we all know where this is going.

Although, I do have to say this: Judith managed to get a very educational conversation going between Mia and Lilly. (Well, educational for me anyway.)

So Lilly apologizes to Mia for not believing her on Mia saying that Kenny called her and told her he loved her. (This made me feel almost sicker—in the hall wasn't the first time he had told her? Oh dear lord…) And when Judith overhears, she remarks that she feels sorry for Kenny.

Judith: Poor kid. I heard what he said to you in the hallway. I was in the chem lab. What was it again? 'I don't care if you don't feel the same way, Mia, I will always love you,' or something like that?"

Mia: (Silence… and possibly a glare in Judith's direction?)

Judith: (Ignoring glare… or possibly oblivious to it?) It's really sweet, if you think about it. I mean, the guy's clearly got it bad for you.

Mia was looking quite embarrassed and I could understand. I'm not into PDA or anything. I mean, Kenny was just unknowingly giving everyone something to talk about. Now, if Mia and I were going out, of course I would tell her I loved her and stuff, but not in front of everyone. It would be between her and me. Although, to be fair, that was a… nice gesture on Kenny's part.

Lilly: (When Mia said nothing still.) He's obviously very in touch with his emotions. (Looks pointedly at Mia.) Unlike some people.

I noticed Mia started to look very mad at Lilly. Now, it takes a lot for Mia to get fired up, and usually she's not into conflict, so she just takes what Lilly has to say in stride. I didn't want another fight like there was a few months ago (Lilly and Mia not talking Mia not coming over me not "accidentally" forgetting to put on a shirt me not looking at Mia trying to figure out whether she's checking me out or not.)

It really is pathetic how much I like Mia.

So, I speak up.

Me: Just because Mia doesn't go around shouting about how she feels in the third floor hallway doesn't mean she isn't in touch with her emotions.

To my surprise, Mia shot me a look of shock, then pure pleasure. I felt a shock of warmth spread through me.

Mia: (triumphantly) Yeah.

Lilly: (Irritated—sending a glare my way) Well, you could have said something back to him; instead of leaving him just hanging there.

Mia: And what should I have said to him?

Lilly: How about—that you love him back?

Oh. God.

So that was it. The moment of truth. Did Mia love Kenny?

Mia: Look… I really and truly value Kenny's companionship… But love—I mean love. That is a very big thing. I'm not, I mean, I don't…

And then I learned there truly was a God. (Well, I'm Jewish, so obviously, but you get my point—) There was a chance Mia didn't love Kenny…

Of course, Lilly just had to go and psychoanalyze her (following in my parents' footsteps—oh goody).

Lilly: (narrowing her eys) I see… fear of commitment.

Mia: I do not fear commitment. I just—

But Lilly went ahead and psychoanalyzed her anyway. I mean, it's all kind of amusing. Lilly is talking about love here. How old are those two? Fourteen?

What do fourteen-year-olds know about love? And don't give me that Romeo and Juliet bullshit—because, really, we all know how that turned out.

Lilly: Let's examine the situation, shall we? I mean, here you've got this guy going around the hallways, screaming that he loves you, and you just stare at him like a rat caught in the path of a D train. What do you suppose that means?

Mia: (exasperated) Have you ever considered that maybe the reason why I didn't tell him I love him back is because I—

I… I what, Mia? I WHAT!

It's rather unfortunate for me that she didn't finish that sentence, and instead, concentrated on a new one (thanks a lot, God).

Mia: Lilly, you know perfectly well I do not fear commitment. I mean, there are lots of boys I—

Lilly, however, didn't let her finish that sentence.

Lilly: Oh yeah? Name one.

Mia: One what?

Lilly: Name a boy that you could see yourself commiting to for all eternity.

Once again, does Lilly not realize that they are only fourteen? I mean, they haven't even taken the frickin' SATs yet (okay, well Lilly has, but that's not the point) and they're talking about marriage and eternity?

My sister's seriously a whack job.

Mia: What do you want, a list?

A list, eh? God, I would've killed to see who she put on that list. Like the key to her heart, basically.

I said nothing, though, hoping to go unnoticed.

Lilly: A list would be nice.

I discreetly saw the list, and it rather surprised me. (Okay, not really, but still, I never thought she would actually be so honest about it.)

After analyzing it, Lilly discovered that half the guys on there were cartoon characters (cartoon characters. Yeah, I know. Two of them are Disney characters, one being covered in fur. And while I like the show Daria, did she really have to put Tom on there? I mean, my god, at least like Trent.)

In addition to these cartoon characters, one was a vampire, another a mutant, and the only two non-fictional, actually real characters were Will Smith and Justin Baxendale. And Will Smith doesn't count, because he's married.

Oh Jesus—I am in love with a crazy girl.

But somehow, I'm okay with that.

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Later (again)

Mia was online tonight, so I thought I'd drop her a line—and I actually had a game plan as well.

Too bad it was damnably lame.

CracKing: Did you just get that whacked-out mass e-mail from my sister?

All most at once (to my pleasure), she replied:

FtLouie: Yes.

CracKing: You're not going along with her stupid walkout, are you?

FtLouie: Oh, right. She won't be too mad if I don't, or anything.

CracKing: You don't have to do everything sh esays, you know, Mia. I mean, you've stood up to her before. Why not now?

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Last time she did that, they fought and I hardly got to see her anymore! But… I did become her tutor. So after realizing that it wasn't so bad after all, I decided not to put the "Just kidding" I was about to send.

Didn't matter much, anyway, as Mia seemed pretty determined not to give in.

FtLouie: I find that the path of least resistance is often the safest one when dealing with your sister.

CracKing: Well, I'm not doing it. Walking out, I mean.

FtLouie: It's different for you. You're her brother. She has to remain on speaking terms with you. You live together.

CracKing: Not for much longer. Thank God.

FtLouie: That's right. You got accepted to Columbia. Early decision, too. I never did congratulate you. So congratulations.

In the confines of my room, I was grinning like a lovesick idiot (which I suppose fits the bill quite accurately).

I merely typed, however:

CracKing: Thanks.

But then I realized something: In going away to college, I wouldn't see her every day. I would have almost no reason to talk to her and… somehow, I felt quite sick. Still do, actually. Rather queasy just thinking about it.

So an idea struck me on… maybe, just maybe… to remain friends. Or hint at becoming more than that.

I mean, yeah, she has a boyfriend, but I don't want to steal her for myself. I think… I think I'm going to tell her how I feel.

And okay, it may tear apart what fragile friendship we have now, but I need to go with her knowing. And I'll do it now to (possibly) give her time to recover from the shock (or, with my luck, horror).

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I noticed that she had sent another message.

FtLouie: You must be happy that you'll know at least one othe person there. Judith Gershner, I mean.

I guess. But Judith and I aren't that great of friends, and Columbia's a pretty big place.

CracKing: Yeah, I guess so. Listen, you're still going to be in town for the Winter Carnival, right? I mean, you're not leaving for Genovia before the 19th are you?

… I think I'll tell her that night. That way, if she broke my heart, at least it would have about two weeks' healing time.

FtLouie: I'm leaving for Genovia on the 20th.

Oh geez. I really am going to tell her. At least if she left early I would get a way out… no, no, I have to do this.

CracKing: Oh, good. Because you should really stop by the Computer Club's booth at the Carnival, and check out this program I've been working on. I think you'll like it.

I really am glad that we were talking on AIM. That way I can sound calm and collected when in reality I was nervous out of my mind. You see, I have the idea all layed out in my head—all I need to do is make it happen on the computer screen.

I mean, really, I was kind of, in the vast majority of my daydreams, was hoping she would have typed:

Don't you have the slightest idea what I'm going through? That the only person with whom I can see myself commiting to for all eternity is YOU? Don't you KNOW that by now?

But instead she typed:

FtLouie: Can't wait. Well, I have to go. Bye.

Forget it. It's just a daydream—she would never think (let alone type that) in a thousand years.

(Sigh)

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Notes: Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I wanted to get my HP fanfic done, and now that it is, this fic is my first priority on ff.

Just an FYI: that paragraph that Michael wanted Mia to type was actually what Mia WANTED to type. Just thought to let you know. (It's unrealistic that he'd get it word for word right, but whatever.)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed—you guys are awesome!