Prongs' Perfect Plan

"Padfoot!" Remus and I just arrived to the Gryffindor common room, the other prefects not far behind us. Padfoot and Wormtail were sitting at out usual spot beside the fire currently engaged in a game of Exploding Snap.

"Hey Prongs," Wormtail and Padfoot said harmoniously.

"Hey guys, I have a plan on how to get Evans to go out with me," I declared as Moony and I sat down across from Padfoot and Wormtail.

"Another one?" Wormtail whined annoyingly.

"Yes another one! Besides, it's full proof." I said indignantly.

"Yeah, so was the plan when you turned all her robes florescent pink."

"Well, Padfoot, how was I supposed to know that the color was going to spread all over her face and arms… and hands...?"

"And the one when you made those flowers chase her around the entire day!"

"Wormtail, that was a very good idea, you know… if the flowers wouldn't have attacked her back."

"Oh yes, don't forget the plan of all plans. When Prongs decided to go up to the girls dormitory for a midnight poetry reading." They all started laughing, stupid prats.

"Hey! Hey, I still have bruises from that, ok. Besides, Moony, It's not like any of you tried to talk me out of doing any of that!"

"Yes, we did!" They all said incredibly loud.

"Well, you didn't try hard enough! And this plan doesn't contain any situations in which Evans nor I will be in any grave danger."

"Just like the one when..."

"Shut up, Padfoot!"

"Ok, ok, Prongs tell us what your plan is..."

"Fine, Moony, I will. But first we have to get rid of Mr. Bighead Boy!"

"And how do you reckon we do that?"

"That's easy Padfoot, we scare him away." All of my fellow Marauders exchanged inquisitive glances, "But we need one of Evans' quills."

The next day the guys and I were walking as usual to the Great Hall for breakfast. "So, how are you going to get one of Evans' quills? I mean it's not like she's just going to go up to you and hand you one."

"Oh Wormtail, so small minded. You see, James Potter always has his ways." I looked around. "Come on, now."

I walked inside the Great Hall and took a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Prongs, what in bloody hell are looking for?" Padfoot was referring to the fact that I was craning my neck over to look up the table.

"There she is," I turned Padfoot. "I'm looking for my secret weapon. I'll be right back. Grab some food and meet me outside." I walked towards her. "All right, Emi?"

Emi turned around and smiled at me. "All right, James?" She was a Gryffindor in my year and was one of Evans' best friends.

I've known Emily ever since I could remember. She played Chaser along with me on the Quiditch team, she was good too. She had pink-blonde hair or 'strawberry blonde' as she would always say when I called it pink-blonde. Her eyes, it was weird, were just like Sirius': Grey, almost translucent.

"I have a proposition for you," I placed my hand on her back to lead her outside.

"Wait, James!" She turned around, presumably to tell her friends she was going somewhere. "Ok, as you were saying?"

I smiled. Emily was always up for helping out the Marauders, no matter what. "I'm going to need your assistance."

"Is that so?" she said, a smirk forming across her face. We reached the entrance of the Great Hall. "But, it better not take long because I'm hungry!"

"Don't worry, Emi. I've thought ahead," we reached to where the other Marauders were waiting for me. Though Padfoot had devoured most of the food, there was still enough left. We found an empty classroom and I began step one of my ingenious plan.

"So James, what is it that you need?"

"It's about Evans." The rest of the Marauders were sitting on the side eating food as if they were watching a Quiditch game.

"James..." she began warily.

"Wait, before you say anything." She stopped talking and listened to me openly. "Ok, I just want to ask Lily out..."

"Again?" she asked, rather rudely if I may say so myself.

"Yes, again! Well, as I was saying, Mr. Bighead Boy is in the way!" I whined.

She raised and eyebrow at me, "What does this have to do with me?"

"I was thinking that maybe you could supply us with some, uh, materials."

She seemed, if possible, even more confused. "James..." she said slowly. "What exactly is it that you're talking about? What materials?"

The Marauders and I exchanged glances, "Ok, um, we need one of Evans' quills."

"Why exactly?"

"Well, um," I looked towards the Marauders for some help. No matter how much Emi would be likely to help the Marauders, she wouldn't agree to this. My fellow partners in crime looked back at me with blank faces. Thanks, load of help you lot are.

"Well, then why is it?" she tapped her foot impatiently.

I put my hands on her shoulder and looked at her directly in the eye. "Emi, I can't tell you why, you won't understand." She opened her mouth to interrupt me. "Wait, let me finish," she sighed. "Would you get that for me if I promised you that I would in, no way, make Evans magically fall for me." She raised her eyebrows. "And I won't put her in any danger whatsoever."

"Fine, but you have to make sure she doesn't find out I had anything to do with this!"

"She won't, she won't! I promise!"

"Okay."

"Oh, and one more thing," she stopped at the door and looked at me expectantly. "Can you keep Evans away from Mr. Bighead Boy for the entire day?"

"James…" she warningly, "You're pushing it."

"Please!"

"You're not going to threaten him, are you?"

Yes. "Uh, no I'm not. I'm Just... kind of... making sure he's... aware of my... concerns about Evans," I grinned at her. She sighed.

"The things I do for you." I walked up to her and gave her a bone-crushing hug. "Suffocating... me... JAMES!"

"Sorry," I smiled sheepishly. She shook her head and walked out of the classroom.

"So… what now?" Wormtail asked expectantly.

"We formulate a little invitation for Mr. Bighead Boy," I smiled my famous trademark Marauder smile.

I reached inside my backpack and took out a piece of parchment and a quill.

"But I thought you said we needed Lily's quill to write the letter, Prongs."

"I know, Padfoot, but I need to make sure we know exactly what we're going to write. We only have one try with Evans' quill and we need to make sure it's believable. No mistakes." Padfoot nodded.

"Okay, start off with his name," Moony suggested hesitantly. We all nodded in agreement and looked at each other.

"Does any one know Mr. Bighead Boys real name?" Padfoot asked thoroughly dumbfounded. We all shook our heads.

"How about, um, Hey," Wormtail added, we agreed.

So far all we had was Hey. "We need to add when and where to meet him."

"Tell him that it's important!"

"And not to approach her until they meet, which has to be somewhere no one will come across, so we can have privacy."

"That's a good one, Wormtail."

"And tell him to bring food." All of the Marauders looked at Padfoot. "What? I get hungry when I intimidate people." We shook our heads.

Since today we had didn't have class until eleven I decided to have a chat with little miss Evans. I caught up with her just outside the Library.

"All right Evans?" She looked up at me, mostly because I was a whole head taller than her.

"You know, Potter, I've been meaning to talk to you." We began walking. Where? I wasn't sure.

"Never thought I'd hear those words from you Evans," I smirked at her.

"Hmm, I bet you didn't," she responded sourly making me frown.

"Well, what is it?"

She sighed. "Now that you know about me and Arnold..."

"Oh! That's his name!"

"What?"

I quickly smiled innocently, "Nothing."

"Anyways, I don't want you going around pretending like you own me!" I looked at her in what I hoped was a confused look. "Don't look at me like that! You know what I'm talking about, every time I have an interest in some you scare them away!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Evans," I said as ingenuously as I possibly could.

"Don't give me that crap, Potter. You know exactly what I mean. I have to go around hiding stuff because every time I begin to fancy someone I don't get a chance to get to know them better because of you! I don't go around meeting random guys in broom closets for fun, Potter! I do it to stay away from YOU!"

Ouch. That hurt. Did she really mean that? I guess so. But she didn't understand I did it for her, none of those guys were good enough for her and neither is Arnie, or whatever his name is.

"I want you to promise me that you won't threaten Arnold in any way, shape, or form."

I looked at her thinking of a way to get out of this, "I promise," I held my right hand over my heart.

She glared at me and walked away. "Wait!"

"What?"

"I never got to tell you why I was looking for you."

"Well make it fast." She kept walking, I followed.

"The Head Girl dismissed the fact that we were late, but when McGonagall finds outs she won't take it too lightly."

"I thought you said you would take care of it." She glared. She seems to do that a lot.

"Oh Evans, so simple minded! McGonagall doesn't let anything slip. Around this time tomorrow she will be calling us into her office and questioning us on our late arrival. I, unlike you, have a valid excuse as to why I was so late."

"So, I'll just twist the truth a bit, you would know a lot about that Potter, wouldn't you?"

"Ah Evans, but you refuse to see the whole picture!"

"Are you daft? I already made it pretty clear that I don't need you."

"Of course you don't! I know that! But, you see, McGonagall will be confused when our stories don't completely match up."

"Explain yourself. I'm not a mind reader."

"Evans, love, my story of why I was late consist of me escorting the Head Boy and you to the meeting after you had forgotten and had gone to snog in a broom closet." I said the last part bitterly.

"First of all Potter, we weren't snogging!"

"Right."

"We weren't! What, do you think I'm some kind of little tramp?"

"No! It's just, what else would you two be doing?"

"TALKING! God! Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Well, was there a second of all?" I asked not wanting to talk about Evans and snogging.

"Yes," she stopped walking. She looked me straight in the eyes, god she had beautiful eyes. "Potter, could you for once stop thinking only about yourself and not tell McGonagall?"

I smiled. This is what I was waiting for, "On one condition."

"Ugh! How did I know you were going to say that? You know what? Forget it! I don't want your help!"

And how did I know you were going to say that. With one last glare she stalked away angrily. My plan was being executed without a hitch, just as I expected.

After an incredibly boring session of Double Potions we headed of to lunch.

"James!" I turned. It was Emi.

"Did you get it?"

"Yes," she took it out of her backpack.

"You didn't write with did you?"

"No, Lily was the last on to use it."

I smiled. "Thanks. Keeping her away from Bighead Boy?"

She giggled at the name I used. "I'm doing my best captain." She stayed back, waiting for Evans.

"You ever wonder what it was that happened to her? You know, last year."

I looked at Padfoot, his eyes full to the brim with worry, "All the time." I put Evans' quill away in my backpack and took a seat at the Gryffindor table. After we finished lunch we discretely wrote Mr. Bighead Boys note over in Evans' handwriting using her quill. I used that handy little spell and had the note fly over to Mr. Bighead Boy. We watched him as he read it and oddly enough he seemed happy about it.

I disregarded this and we decided to get a heard start towards the north tower for Divination. After what felt like ages we got through Divination, Transfiguration, and dinner heading off to accomplish the next step of my plan.

Of course I was told not to threaten Mr. Bighead Boy, but who was to stop my friends from doing that. We patiently waited outside the classroom we knew Mr. Bighead Boy was in. After an hour of waiting he finally came outside.

"Evans didn't show, did she," I said darkly. He jumped back alarmed. He was eyeing my wand twirling innocently in my hands.

"What have you done with her?" he asked in mock bravery. I felt Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail come out of the shadows. A smirk crept on my face as I saw Mr. Bighead Boy step back.

"I've done nothing to her. You see, she was never really coming. In case you haven't noticed, this was a trap."

"What are you going to do? I'm Head Boy! I can have you expelled!" Fear was evident in his voice. I was pleased.

"You can," I stated coldly. "But you won't."

"You break off whatever you have with Evans, or you answer to us." Padfoot chimed in oh-so-dangerously.

"Lily would never go out with you!" he spat at me.

"Just leave that to me. Now I believe my friend asked you to do something. We need to know what your decision is, or we'll be forced to take drastic measures."

He stood there for quite a while, evidently weighing out his options. "Ok," he finally said. "Ok."

"Tomorrow morning," Wormtail demanded, talking for the first time; Nothing like having uneven odds to make you braver.

"What?" Padfoot took a step forward. "Fine, just stop!"

I smiled. Marauders always got their way. "I'm glad you see it my way. You won't regret it." I walked away and distinctly heard him say, "Manipulative bastard." But I decided to ignore it.

Just one final step and my plan would be executed perfectly.

"I feel incredibly wrong for letting you do this," Moony said guiltily.

"Oh Moony, you and your morals, they're really hindering our performance as a group. You missed a few lines back there," Padfoot responded.

"Shut up, Sirius," Moony said irritably, shutting Padfoot up.

"Oh well," I said simply.

Moony couldn't drive me into guilt this time because tomorrow in McGonagall's office, sitting between Mr. Bighead Boy and myself, Evans will agree to go to Hogsmeade with me.

:a/n: Did anyone else feel Lily being in a broom closet with the Head Boy was a little drastic? Yeah, I know. But I needed something drastic to show how James gets jealous and how she can't really have what would be described as a normal and open relationship with someone if she wants it to last.

James and Lily are in the middle of their sixth year. I'm planning to take this up to the end of their seventh, maybe farther. (Depending on how many reviews I get!)

I have review-citis, I can not continue living with out reviews. It is a sad disease, sad disease indeed.