Disclaimer: Ahem, "I in no way have or claim to have ownership of the series Samurai Champloo or characters in the anime/manga Samurai Champloo"

Author note: I'm spending things up a bit and putting up many chapters at once.

Chapter 6: Creating a Stone Heart

Two of the strongest men I'd ever known sat looking as scared as newborn babies. It was almost funny to see them look so frazzled.

I could hear my heart thumping in my ears. The room began to spin and I was growing more and more dizzy with ever turn in my mind. Oddly enough the room was quiet. Not even the sound of a quick intake of breath was heard. The silence was short-lived but to me it felt like an eternity was passing right at the very moment. Neither Jin nor Mugen, with all their years of training and battle, possessed the courage to answer such a simple question.

"One of you answer me damn it! I deserve it! I deserve something!"

I crossed my arms to keep from shaking afraid of the rage building inside of me. My knees felt as if they would buckle at any moment but I couldn't back down now. I needed to know and someone was going to tell me something.

"Go ahead Jin. Tell her why you're here. I'd like to know too."

Mugen's lips curled into such an angry snarl I was almost scared. He had not looked over in my direction since my entrance back into the room. The tension in his body was the only thing to change which was even more than usual.

Jin raised his head and stared at the man across the table from him. It seemed the friendship I thought was there earlier was beginning to fade.

I walked over to the table and kneeled down next to it, glancing at Jin and praying he'd open his mouth. I needed someone to tell me something. Anything! It was torture being in the dark.

"Please," I whispered feeling the constriction of my throat at the tiny word escaping my now dry lips.

Jin's head slowly moved until his eyes looked directly into my own. His glasses began to slide down the bridge of his nose allowing steel eyes to peek over the rim. I could feel his thoughts, knowing what was to come would hurt me. But I needed to hear him. The truth needed to be placed into words.

"I believe Mugen has confused my reasoning for being here. I have nothing to say now."

He stood walking past me towards the door. Mugen jumped up from his seat following close behind him.

"Bullshit! Be a fucking man and tell her the truth."

Mugen grabbled Jin's elbow just as I reached the two in the foyer.

"You know better than to put your hands on me Mugen."

Jin's voice was slow and calculated to the point it made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. They glared back at one another, the exact opposite but equal of the man in front of him.

"Yeah well what are you going to do about it?"

I was happy neither was in reach of a sword at the moment otherwise the battle put off all those years ago would finally to a head today. I knew they'd rather use their swords on one another, than resulting to physical attacks.

I caught up to them, placing myself between their now edgy bodies and pushing them apart.

"Look you are both just trying to run from what I asked! And I don't need anybody trying to force an answer out of the other. I just want one of you to tell me the truth. Either of you! Just open your damn mouth and say something!"

Mugen looked down at me, his eyes softening for a moment. I'd never seen Mugen look at me in this way before. I don't even think I'd ever saw the expression on his face before in all our time together. My heart slowed and I felt myself sway towards him as if I were being pulled closer to him. The hand pushing on his chest began to burn and I pulled it away quickly, only wishing to touch him again. I immediately missed the solid ripple of his chest beneath my fingertips. His eyes harden again and he looked away from me and back into Jin.

"I'm not the one who needs to tell you first. Besides, you should already know… I got shit to do anyway. I'll let the ass talk to you. I'll get out of here before I kill him."

I watched Mugen walk away towards the entrance of the temple disappearing through the doors. Actually it would be easier for me to talk to one at a time but I knew he was only stalling too. Watching him walk away from me was more painful than I'd expected but I knew he would come back. For some odd reason, I knew Mugen would always come back to me. I turned to Jin, hoping now with Mugen gone he would actually speak to me.

"Tell me, Jin. I just need to hear you say it. You didn't come here to see me. You're just passing through."

I heard his voice catch in his throat; his face leaned down to mine allowing his eyes to look down into mine. I wanted him to deny it, to hold me and tell me he was here just to for me. I wanted him to say he loved me. I wanted to know if he was the man the monk told me was out there. Mostly I just wanted him to tell me something. I knew wanting him and Mugen was wrong but I just wanted love. I knew at some point during the journey something changed. At some point all the time we spent as a group together changed our odd relationship into my perception of love.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against Jin's hard chest. For a moment he let me stay there. Not holding me, but not pushing me away. The clean scent of his body filled my nose and I could feel myself wanting him more and more with every passing moment. But it didn't last long and I was brought back to reality by the deep rustle of his voice in his chest.

"This isn't my final destination," he replied his voice lower than a whisper. I was more surprised by the sound of his voice than by what he said. But I'd heard it, rejection. The exact thing I'd expected and feared for such a long time.

I closed my eyes hoping I would open them and be in my bed and not to have heard him say anything. Wishing Mugen and Jin were still asleep and I was not being pushed away from one of the men I loved. If I ever thought either would ever want me, I always figured it would be Jin who would confess it. If he didn't, then I knew Mugen felt nothing in his heart for me either.

"I can't tell you I intend on staying here. Coming into contact with you was always inevitable and I did want to see you again, Fuu. But I still have my own journey to complete and if I stay here I don't think I will be able to do that."

I pulled away, feeling the tears begin to build behind my lids.

"Why? Why are you leaving again? What are you looking for?"

Jin stepped away from me, his eyes focusing straight ahead but not on me.

"What?" I screamed frustrated by the silent wall he so easily threw up between us.

"My love," he answered.

The word bounced around inside my head. I could feel a steel rod begin to take the place of my previously quivering spine. Pure hatred never entered my body until then. I never felt as cold in my entire life. I looked up at Jin when a sudden understanding hit me like a bolt of lightening.

"You look for love, but not in me. You have not touched a woman in all this time have you Jin-san?"

I knew his answer before it left his lips. His silence was more than a confirmation. I turned my back to him, no longer able to look at his face. The man standing there was no more than a man, just someone looking for shelter in the temple. He was a patron seeking guidance through life.

"Then I take it you are still traveling south to the shelter. Only one woman experienced the privileged of touching you Jin-san, physically and emotionally. I never possessed the ability with any man. No matter, it wasn't a part of my journey. I am sure you will need to get to her soon. Those three years will be up soon won't they?"

I heard his breath catch for the second time.

"I seem to keep surprising you, Jin-san. Yes, I do know about her. I should have figured it out once I saw you."

I touch a deep breath, slowly exhaling. Neither of us moved. I was sure he was afraid of what I might do. I did not intend to hurt him, but I did not want to continue a conversation with him either.

"I suppose you and Mugen-san will be leaving soon. You will probably leave before him. I am sure this tournament will last a few days. You may stay at the temple until you are ready to leave but afterward I would prefer you do not return here again. I will inform Mugen-san of my wishes too. I have things I must tend to today so I will take my leave from you."

I bowed quickly then turned and began to walk away. In a split second Jin was beside me holding me by my shoulders and pulling me to face him.

"I don't want you to think I do not have any love for you, Fuu. It is not the case for me and I can probably say the same for Mugen, too. But it's not fair for me to want you for myself."

I pulled away from his grasp, almost repulsed by his touch. His eyes showed the hurt I was feeling.

"We both know love has a time and a place, Jin-san. This is neither."

I walked towards the monk's room leaving Jin where he stood. It finally happened. Something I thought never was never possible. The monk was wrong. There really was not a man out there who loved me and at this moment I didn't really care anymore.