Chapter 5: Meeting with Aurors
Jareth sat on his stone throne with his fingers steepled. "You think a human is masquerading as me? A fugitive?"
"Well, not a fugitive, but—" Harry Potter rubbed his head vigorously. "We have a witness who alleged that a wizard was pretending to be you."
"A witness," Jareth said with a sneer. "Where is this— witness?" He made the end of the word sound like a snake's hiss.
"We took her statement. It was not required that she accompany us," a red-headed Auror said.
The court goblins gnashed their teeth and glowered at the red-headed Auror.
"Out there," Jareth said with a wave of his hand. "You may get away with such disrespect as speaking out of turn, Auror Weasel-e, but this is the Kingdom of the Goblins. We are the Goblin Nation. You are but a guest here. I would have you remember that when you next feel the need to blurt statements. Out. Of. Turn."
Both Aurors fidgeted uncomfortably, something ingrained within them to cower at the way the goblin king's vocal cadence seeped into their minds.
"If some vapid female of your species cannot tell the difference between the real goblin king and a mere imposter, then I would have nothing to do with the likes of them anyway. Such pitiful ignorance and lack of observance would not see them last a single day within the Goblin Nation and even less in the Underground."
Jareth bared his teeth. "You will provide me a list of those who have been deceived by this so-called imposter, and I will be certain to remove them from my dating pool. Do this, and I will not punish you for your impudent rudeness in coming here so late at night when even the goblins would rather take their rest. The memory of your interruption of something very important to me will not be erased easily."
A certain goblin page in the midst of the court may or may not have pissed himself— again .
"You may tell this imposter, Auror Potter, Auror Weasley— that I admire his gall. And if he does manage to convince a human woman that he is a goblin king, then he has my blessing to marry them if he so chooses," Jareth said with a fanged sneer.
"Don't you want to punish him?" Ron blurted.
Jareth's narrow-eyed gaze sliced through him like a blade. "Instead of telling me what I should do, and I will tell you that I wish my imposter no ill will at all, perhaps you both should pay more attention to your wives— oh, so sorry. That would be your ex -wives."
"Whut?"Ron bleated.
Jareth's smile was deadly. "Mathor, do give our Auror visitors a list of my previous— dates— as per my end of this treaty."
"Yes, my King," the goblin said, rushing off to do exactly that.
Jareth's expression was stony. "In order to court a King, one must be available to marry. I fear your respective houses are currently in disarray."
The goblin king curled his lip. "And anyone shallow enough to divorce their husband for a chance to impress a king is not the kind of person I wish to take as my queen." Jareth bared his teeth. "This audience is at an end. I will tolerate you here no longer. Begone."
With a clap of his hands, the room summarily cast the two Aurors out onto the street, dumping them squarely on their arses in front of Gringotts even as a scroll containing the king's list of would-be queens bonked the groaning Aurors over the head.
Trollop Granger's Name Missing from Goblin King's Dating List
The witch who shamelessly strung along and broke the hearts of many fine wizards such as Harry Potter, Viktor Krum, as well as war-hero and Auror Ronald Weasley didn't even rate her name being placed on the list of dates who could become the new queen of the currently single goblin king.
The King of the Goblins has been seeking a woman to become his queen to satisfy the peace treaty forged years ago between wizard society and the Goblin Nation.
The Ministry has been accepting the names of all interested Wizarding females to be added to the list, but apparently someone was wise enough not to bother sending Granger an owl after her shameful admission of guilt to the Goblin Nation, as Granger was responsible for destroying their vaults during the war.
Granger claimed that it was more than just her that had caused massive destruction in Gringott's, even blaming her friends, the heroes of the Wizarding War Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, for being co-conspirators. Thankfully, no one with a brain believed her, and she was condemned to work off her debt within the Goblin Nation, where it is believed she is being appropriately punished with manual, wandless labour as befits someone of her duplicitous character.
At last account, Hermione Granger is still enslaved to them in chains of debt while the far more noble Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley simply paid a token "good will" amount to prove they were far more upstanding characters than the liar Granger.