2: Loss (Yuichiro's POV)

The last night I would ever see my dad alive was a strange one, hard to remember. He came home with an intense look on his face, and it didn't leave the entire time he was here.

Prior to that, though, he was the epitome of excitement. The day he found out Alpha was sentient, he came home, raving, with giant bags under his eyes. Saying things like "Alpha said hello! Alpha said hello!" Haruka freaked out, and it even took me an hour or two to understand what he meant.

But, on this particular day, he came in, looking at the ground, as if he was deep in thought. Even Gow was wary of him.

We spent the night talking, and he explained to me more about Alpha and its sentience. Suffice it to say, I was fascinated. A program gaining true artificial intelligence? Straight out of a science fiction novel.

Then, he told me of this final test of his. He was going to investigate Alpha firsthand, by meeting it in cyberspace.

"What are you talking about, Dad?" I asked. "How is this even possible?"

"It's a system that Alpha showed me the schematics to. It interprets a human's brainwave patterns into navi-like signals. It, in essence, digitizes you."

I shuddered. I didn't like the idea. What if it messed up? What if it killed him? What if...

"This is why I'm bringing it up, Yui," Dad continued, "Should anything happen to me..."

"Don't be stupid!" I pleaded angrily, slamming my fist on the kitchen table. "If something happens to you! I can't let you go through with something this dangerous!"

He, however, wouldn't listen. He insisted that this needed to be done, to see what exactly Alpha was like, and to teach it proper behaviour. He had always been this way, unmoveable when he set himself to something. I gave up trying to convince him and left him in the kitchen.

I had several nightmares that night, mostly about Dad and Alpha. I really wanted him to not go through with this. I intended to make one last plea to him the next morning.

I was too late, though. When Haruka and I woke up, he was gone. All that was in his bed was Gow, curled up at the foot.

I gasped. "Dad..." I said, then grabbed the telephone. I hurriedly punched in his cell number, but the phone on the other end just rang. No answer. Same with his work phone.

"What's wrong, Yui?" Haruka asked when she saw me holding the receiver in a trembling hand. She never did pay much attention to the things Dad and I talked about from work; she wasn't the technical type.

"It's Dad," I said, my voice shaking. "I'm afraid he might have done something very dangerous." I dashed for the door. "I've got to get to SciLab right away!"

"Wait!" Haruka said. "I'm coming with you!"

I didn't see any reason for her not to. It wasn't likely that Dad's plan would endanger us. Besides, I needed her support at a time like this. "All right. But hurry!"

We ran out into the car, bare-footed-- I think I was still in my pyjamas. The morning traffic was moving so slowly. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel all the way to SciLab.

"What is it, Yui?" Haruka asked when we were getting close. "What did Tadashi say he was going to do?"

"Alpha..." I said weakly. "He wants to meet Alpha."

Haruka shook her head. "Didn't he already chat with him, or something? Wasn't that what you two were talking about the other night?"

"You don't understand," I said. "He wants to meet Alpha iin person./i In the computer. Alpha gave him the plans to some device that it says will let him digitize his mind, but..." I tried to even out my breathing. Deep breaths, deep breaths. "There's no guarantee that it'll work. He admits that it might kill him. But he's dead set on it."

"Why?" Haruka asked, her eyes wide. "I don't understand."

"I don't either!" I said. "Maybe it has to do with that stuff he was talking about after Mom left-- about uploading people's minds to computers, and linking them all together, and living forever in other galaxies, or whatever that was all about." I sighed. "I thought he'd gotten past that by now... We're here."

Sure enough, we were finally pulling into the SciLab parking lot. I parked in the closest spot to the door-- it might have been a handicapped spot, I wasn't paying attention-- and dashed inside, Haruka following. People probably gave me odd looks, but my mind was focused on only one thing: getting to Dad's office.

There might still be time to talk him out of this. I'd never forgive myself if I was too late because I decided to take my time. I had to iknow./i

Finally I reached his office. I shoved the door open, panting a little. I'd been running faster than my adrenaline could carry me. I looked around the office, but Dad wasn't there.

"Where's Dr. Hikari?" I asked a woman at a desk near his. She must be one of his co-workers, she might know!

"He's working on a project in the R&D lab today," she said calmly.

"Where's that?"

"Third floor, down four doors and to the right." She went back to work as if nothing was wrong. I was already out the door and on my way.

When I got to the third floor, I tore through the hallway and reached the R&D lab doors. I tried to push them open, but they didn't budge. Pulling didn't help either. The doorknob didn't move, and my intern-level ID card in the reader didn't even help. It was locked.

I knocked hard on the door, shouting into the room, but there was no response. It was totally silent. If Dad was in there, he either didn't hear me or didn't want to let me in.

I looked around for anything that could be used to open the doors, but there was nothing nearby. It was about this time Haruka came up behind me, looking just about as worried as I did.

My eyes fell onto the small, frosted window on the door, and I had an idea.

I reeled back and rammed my fist into the window. The glass shattered, cutting my hands in several places.

"Yui! What are you doing!" Haruka exclaimed as I pulled my hand out and reached in with my other arm.

"We don't have time to wait!" I yelled, scrambling for the doorknob, cutting my arm in the process. Finally, I caught the handle on the inside, and opened the door.

My first, and the only sight I can remember from the R&D Lab, is the inert body of my father, sitting in a bizarre chair, with a strange "helmet" on his head. I stood, frozen, at the door. Haruka ran inside and shook his arm.

Haruka looked back at me with a horrified face. "He's... he's dead."

I ran back to Dad's desk, turning the computer monitor on. "Alpha! You son of a bitch!" I screamed, my face streaming with tears. "What the hell did you do to my Dad!"

Alpha didn't respond. I wasn't even sure it could hear my voice.

In the end, Tadashi Hikari was pronounced dead, and Alpha was locked away in a secure server of SciLab. I sat there, in the R&D labs, as policemen investigated the scene and paramedics bandaged my arms. I was crying into Haruka's lap. It couldn't end like this. There was so much left unsaid.

I felt empty for weeks afterward. Everything I did, I did so out of necessity and repetition. I followed in my father's footsteps, becoming a navicist just like him.

I vowed never to make the same mistake my father made. I promised myself, I promised Haruka. My family would always come before my research.