Authors Note: Enjoy!

Chapter 39

"Funeral"

Anders's Morning-

"Anders honey, wake up." Anders woke from his horrid nightmare. He realized that horrible nightmare was no different from his real life. "I'm sorry honey, its time." Anders rolled out of bed, rubbing his eyes. She looked at him sympathetically. He didn't dare look at her as the memory of all that's happened, the cold realization of death, pain, and suffering arose from deep inside him. He clutched his side, the emotions feeling like knives coursing their ways through his veins, strait to his already crushed and broken heart. Fiera hated seeing her son like this, what caring parent wouldn't? She wanted so much to comfort him, but she wasn't strong enough herself. It was horrible, all that's happened to them.

First, our loving father and husband was torn from us in a heartbeat. Then Anders was sent into that hellhole of a mine, where he experienced his friends being taken from him. Blackfire went to Miyu knows where, and now Renee has died. Have I forgotten anything? No that's it... She thought with cold sarcasm.

Fiera leaned down and brushed Anders hair off his forehead, and kissed it. She could taste the cold sweat from whatever nightmare he had suffered through before she awoke him. "I love you Anders, I don't know if I can ever tell you that enough."

"I know Mom, I love you too. I just… I miss her so much." He hung his head in sadness. Fiera felt her heart brake into pieces as a tear slowly rolled down his pale cheeks. It was slowly followed by more. They silently rushed down his slender cheekbones, down his chin, and onto his limp arms that were resting on his lap.

She couldn't take it anymore. "Oh Anders!" she yelled as she picked her son up into a hug. He was surprised at first, but when they slumped to the floor and he felt her warmth seeping into him, he simply buried his head into her shoulder. They sobbed and rocked back and forth together, each drawing comfort from the other. "I feel horrible mom, it was all my fault. I should've been there for her." Fiera looked into her son's face, his eyes, as if she was gazing into his very soul. She wiped the tears out of his eyes before saying "No Anders, you're a good person. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. She was ill, it was her time."

He looked up and smiled at her, but his eyes betrayed him. She knew he didn't believe a word she just said. She didn't know of anything else she could do at the moment. "Well sweetie, I'm afraid we have to get ready and go." She squeezed Anders so tight he coughed, but smiled. She kissed him on the forehead, once again tasting the cold sweat that relayed itself on his forehead at the thought of going to this most dreadful occasion. "I love you." She stood, helped him up, and looked at him one more time before she left, leaving Anders alone to wallow in his partially hidden sadness.

He sat up on his bed and tried to matt down his soft brown hair. He rose and picked out a black shirt, black pants, and a black jacket from his small closet. He went over to his dresser and removed a pair of black boxers and set them on his bed. Then he went to the bathroom to take a shower. He ran his water as he pulled off his wrinkled white tank top and his baggy black shorts. He gazed at himself in the mirror. He had developed black circles under his emerald green eyes. He didn't notice or admire his tight muscular stomach like he usually does. Its not the same when your not going to share it with anyone.

He stepped into the hot water, wincing at first, but soon getting he got used to the temperature. He grabbed the herbal shampoo that was in a label-less container. He lathered his hair and massaged his scalp. It smells like Renee… he sorrowfully thought. Coconut butter… one of her many wonderful smells.

He finished washing up and stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and put it around his waist. He dried off and slipped on his shirt. He buttoned it up and put on his jacket. He slipped on his boxers and his pants next, straitening everything out as he went. He went to his room and picked out black socks and black shoes. He slipped on the socks and took a pause as the scent of the shampoo descended into his range of smell. He felt a hot tear travel down his cheek and drip onto his lap. He slowly put on his shoes and fastened their laces. He rose and looked out his small window. The sun was beginning its journey into the sky now. It was beautiful to most, but horrible to Anders. They might say the sky had started to turn an exquisite rose red. To Anders, the sky was coated in blood. Renee's blood. He glared at the sky, almost as if it was taunting him of his losses. It was a windy day, the life outside was rustling, almost as if acknowledging her. He stopped scowling only at the sound of sobbing next door. Starfire.

Starfire's Morning-

She woke to the sound of Mom and Anders talking. Then it hit her and she remembered. The funeral was today. She lay there in bed for a while, thinking, and wondering how this day was going to end. With tragedy or relief? Probably a little of both, she thought. I do know that I have to be there for Anders, we all have to.

She took a few more minutes to wake up, but eventually she rolled out of bed and picked out her funeral clothes. She was going to wear a long black dress with a black shawl. She had black high heels which she only wore on special occasions, such as this dark gloomy one. She got out a beautiful black necklace too, the one her grandmother gave her the day she passed away. Her grandmother had always had it on, ever since the day her husband died. He had given it to her a passing gift, a constant reminder of their everlasting love. It was very special to her, but she can only wear it to a funeral, as her grandmother told her. Finally she grabbed a bracelet that her mother had given her on her fourth birthday. It was a beautiful diamond one. She set everything out on her bed and went to the bathroom to shower up.

She grabbed towels and stepped into the shower. She loved the hot water, it really relaxed her. She poured some shampoo into her hand and lathered her hair. She even rinsed and repeated. She noticed the cocoa butter smell. Wonderful, but for some reason its fragrance was dimmed today because of the circumstances. After she showered up, she stepped out of the shower and dried off. She slipped into her room quietly and quickly, and catching a glimpse of Anders going to take his shower as she went.

After putting on undergarments, she slipped into her dress. It still fit perfectly. She put on her shawl next, followed by the black high heels. Her grandmother's necklace came next. She carefully slipped it over her head and wrapped it around twice, it was still too big for her after all these years. She put on the diamond bracelet and stared at herself in the mirror and fixed small things here and there. Next, she went over to a small kit. There was different powders and applications here. She took out a red one and spread some over her bottom lip and smothered her lips together. She also put on some light pink powder on her nose and cheeks, just to give them color. For a final touch, she applied some powder that came from a smaller case to her eye lids. Now her face wasn't as pale, making her look human, not ghostly. She gave a small nod of approval and sat down on the bed.

The meaning of this whole event was starting to wear on her again. No amount of makeup could mask over the ghost like emptiness that she was feeling. She suddenly was hit with the memories of her father's death, Blackfire's fleeing, and now Renee's death. Or more so the part that was affecting her the most, Anders's deep, deep looming sadness that he seemed to lumber everywhere with him. No matter how much love surrounded him, no matter how much care, support, or even hope he was basked in, he would always bear this weight. Always. And with this realization, came tears. Not just for herself, or for Renee and her family, but for her brother who seemed to suffer more than them.

And so, readers, she cried. She cried and sobbed. She was in mourning, almost for her brother's sake. Then she heard a knock on the door. Anders.

Fiera's Morning-

Fiera woke up about an hour before dawn. She rolled lazily in bed, trying to wake up. She was groping for something, but it wasn't there anymore. "Deramus…" she whispered. She suddenly sat up in bed, remembering her husband was dead. This was the regular routine. It has been ever since her husband died. The only thing that's changed is the pain, its less intense with acceptance. She got up out of bed and showered up (same sort of procedure as the other two) after coming back to her room she locked the door and walked over to her closet. She picked out a black skirt and shirt and black high heels. She slipped on the skirt and put on the shirt. She put on the shoes and stood up. She shivered as a cool breeze chilled the room. She went over the window and closed it. Better wear a jacket. She glanced out the window and noticed it was close to dawn. Time to wake up Anders. Oh, why do these things happen Miyu… she thought as she made her way down the hall to Anders room.

Regular "Point of View"-

Anders was sitting in his room, waiting for his mother's knock on the door telling him to come. Within a few more minutes it came. "Anders, honey, its time to leave, come on."

He said nothing. He thought nothing. He just rose and left with his mother. "Starfire is coming." She rubbed him on the back, half trying to warm him up half trying to comfort him. Starfire finally came out and they were off. Fiera walked with Starfire under one arm and Anders under the other. They walked towards the lake, where she would be buried.

They arrived there after a while and took their seats in a row of wooden chairs that said "reserved". Anders kept his head down. He was not comfortable with all these staring people around him. He knew they were staring at them, wondering how he was feeling, wanting to comfort him, but not knowing how. He just wanted to be left alone, or be with her. What a wonderful, but fictional thought it was.

He saw Renee's parents walk in and take their seats across the aisle from them. In a few more minutes, people filled the chairs set in the field around the lake. Music started playing from the small harbi that Meloni, Renee's cousin, played. What beautiful music… Fiera thought. Everyone became silent as a sleek black coffin was wheeled in. Anders felt everyone become silent and knew what was happening. He was near the brink of breaking into tears as she was wheeled past him in that cursed box by Gordando and Jorere, the "supreme ruler" of the mine as he liked to call himself. Anders smiled inside as he thought of his cocky boss.

That smile faded as he set his eyes upon the coffin again. He couldn't bear to think about what was inside it. An empty corpse, no longer housing the woman he loved. The kisses he has shared with her, the love, the care, the bruises from her combat skills… it all came rushing back to him in a blurred sting. He looked up, his eyes fogging now. The Mastry walked onto the stage accompanied by Farse. The Mastry didn't look well, Farse had to hold the book his was reading aloud from.

"We are all gathered here to mourn the death of our sister, Renee and to celebrate her life. What can we say about her to justify what her life brought to our own?" Anders couldn't help but snort mentally at this You didn't even know her! Of course this was only his anger speaking, but it was still true. "We take time to mentally reflect on her presence in our lives." Anders thought nothing and felt nothing. He didn't want to remember, didn't want to hurt. It was all so overwhelming…

The reflection time was over. The Mastry was sending Farse away now. She took the giant book she was holding with her to a seat off to the side. The Mastry ran his hands over the coffin, performing some sort of ceremony. He was mumbling words none of the villagers had ever heard before, but they trusted him.

After he had finished speaking, he straitened and made the sign of Miyu over her coffin and backed away from the coffin. Gordando and Jorere came to take her away. Renee's parents followed behind them and then Anders, Fiera and Starfire followed them. The congregation followed. When they were out of the area with the chairs, most of the people left, but a select few stayed. This small group of people proceeded to go to the burial service with the family an friends.

When they arrived at the lakeside, Anders and Starfire both had violent recollections of the night Anders had tried to commit suicide. It was horrible to think about the fact that her brother had almost died to Starfire, but the worst part for Anders was that he was so close to Renee but then she was taken away from him in a heartbeat.

Anders, Starfire, Fiera, and Renee's parents all lined closest to the coffin and the rest filled in behind them. The Mastry and Farse were hobbling over now, linking arms to make sure the Mastry wouldn't topple over. He said the rite's and a quick prayer of prosperity in her next life. They all said silent prayers for her. Please help the family… Help her to move on peacefully… Keep her safe… Please, let her still love me…

Then Meloni played a beautiful hymn on her harpi, it was called Amazing Grace. This song was already sad as it was, but it was even more tragically harmonious when played on a harpi. Almost everyone was crying. Anders was trying to fight back the tears, but they flowed down his pale cheeks, one by one. A silent river of sadness rushing down his face, his once strong happy face. Now he lay in ruins, his world shattered, his base pulled from under him, almost as if his life is pointless.

They were lowering her down now. Putting that cursed box containing the empty shell that was once his lover in it. He couldn't bear it, it made him sick, downright disgusted. He collapsed sobbing on the ground. Everyone stopped and looked at him. They tried to conceal it. They thought he was going crazy. Fiera knelt down by him and stroked his hair softly, comforting him. She didn't act embarrassed or try to get him to stand, she was there for him, she always would be. But we all knew that in the first place, didn't we?

Meloni was still playing the song and the coffin was nearly out of sight. He reached out to her, one hand outstretched in a futile attempt to bring her to him. He hung his head and lowered his hand. He quietly whimpered "Renee" over and over again. Only Fiera, and hopefully Renee, could hear him. She was completely lowered now. Her body was down there forever, always to remain there for the rest of eternity. It was terrifying to think that she was still alive, in a coma, buried alive. But he quickly pushed these horrible thoughts out of his head. People were casting their last mournful looks at Anders and trudging back towards their houses.

He was slowly getting to his feet now. Fiera helped him as did Starfire. They were being silent to give Anders his room. He looked at that sleek black box and thought what every person must think when they've lost a loved one, "Why?"

Fiera and Starfire walked away, giving him a few moments alone. He stared down at her coffin and shakily sang a new song. One that he had made himself, when he was lying in bed, thinking of her. Hot, fresh tears rolled down his pale cheeks, reminding him of the pain.

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

Do you remember me,
lost for so long?
Will you be on the other side,
or will you forget me?
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved,
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
tourniquet?

He finished the last note with such deep remorse, it was frightening. He picked out the flower he had taken from their wedding bouquet. He kissed its soft petals and tossed it onto the coffin. "Don't forget me Renee, I love you."

A single, passionate tear rolled down his cheek and landed softly onto he coffin alongside the flower. These would be his gifts to her, so she would not forget him.

With that he turned and walked home, heavy thoughts of a reunion on his mind.

Authors Note: The song was "Tourniquet" by Evanescence. I would like to dedicate this chapter to a friend of mine. His sister died in an accident not too long ago so if everyone could keep him and his family in their prayers I would appreciate it. I did have two earth songs in here, so deal with it all you who think its unrealistic! Please Read and Review. Next chapter hopefully coming soon.