Chapter Fifty Seven:
Luke opened the door to his home to find Ben and Emry sitting together on the couch. Both had books in their grasp, but it was clear to Luke that neither was actually getting any enjoyment out of what they read. Their expressions were glum, their senses in the Force full of mourning. Ben in particular felt conflicted.
Luke's conscience pricked that he had left his little ones in such a state. But he'd had to clear his own mind first, lest he risk taking anything out on his children.
By the time the door was closing, Emry and Ben had seen their father and were now sitting more upright. Both looked a little... wary.
Luke sighed and approached. He motioned, and the pair split apart so he could sit between them. Luke then touched Mara's mind to let her know he was back.
"I'm sorry you two," Luke said softly, wrapping an arm about each of them. "I needed to vent my... frustrations, and I did not want to hurt you by doing that."
"It's alright, Dad," Emry said quietly, leaning into his side. She seemed to take Luke's presence as permission to let her own feelings out, for his daughter turned her face into him and began to weep.
Luke pulled her closer to him with the arm he had about her, and Emry's arms snaked about his middle in turn.
"Dad?" Ben's voice sounded on his other side. "Has Shmi really gone away too?"
Luke looked to Ben now. "It would appear so, at least for a time."
Ben swallowed, looking down, and the boy was hurting so much that Luke's heart went out to him. Luke gathered Ben closer also, and thankfully, Ben did not resist him. He also began to cry heavily. Mara appeared then, setting Kodai onto his play mat before she took up a spot on the armchair near to the couch.
"I trusted Ignis..." Ben cried suddenly. "I let my guard down... and he broke my heart! And now Shmi has gone after him. Why?"
"Because, Shmi knows that Ignis is our brother!" Emry declared, lifting her wet face from Luke's side. "I read the letter she left, and I agree with Shmi. Ignis is family, and he needs help! She and Anya have gone to do that!"
"And as honorable as their intentions are," Mara said with gentle firmness, "I don't know what good it will ultimately do."
Emry looked down. "We have to trust Shmi."
Luke sighed heavily. "Emry's right. Besides, we have no idea where Shmi and Anya went."
"Can you track the Nebula?" Ben inquired hopefully, also looking up from where he'd buried his face into Luke's side.
Luke shook his head. "Not really. I designed her to be hard to find." Luke pursed his lips, and had a thought. "But I will try calling Shmi."
Luke retrieved his comlink and dialed the codes. But no one picked up, leaving Luke to wonder if Shmi was avoiding answering.
Mara spoke then. "Emry is correct: we have no choice right now but to trust Shmi. She is a Jedi Knight in all but title, and I believe that she can handle her own." Mara looked down. "I have to believe that."
Luke returned to his seat between his twin children. "This is hard for all of us. But we have to keep living our lives too. We will do our best to locate Shmi and Anya, and if possible, bring them back home." He kissed them both. "I will keep working to contact Shmi. If I hear anything, I will let you know, I promise."
His children nodded and clung to their father for a long time yet. Luke kissed each on the head, and held them for as long as they would allow him to. They all missed Shmi, and they also needed each other for comfort right then.
They were Skywalkers: they would pull through. But Luke did have one burning question on his mind, one he didn't want to ask with Ben and Emry so close by. He held his tongue, willing to be patient.
Eventually, Emry and Ben felt sated, and they pulled away. Emry kissed Luke's cheek and left the room. Ben lingered a moment more, then hugged Luke and followed his sister. Luke waited for them to be gone and then turned to Mara.
"Did I push her away?" he asked, letting the pain he felt show.
"No," Mara replied, shifting from the chair to the cushion beside her husband. "But she is our headstrong daughter. Shmi is too much like the both of us at times."
Luke knew Mara was right, as was Shmi. He also knew that the Force was correct: Luke had to find his answers, and he needed to do that sooner rather than later.
"I agree," Mara murmured, hearing his thoughts. "You need to get your troubles settled."
There was a knock at their front door, and Ben appeared to answer it, Emry close behind. Suddenly there were cries of joy.
"Uncle Han!" the twins chorused.
Luke and Mara shared a shocked glance, and then Luke was off the couch, though he did not move further yet. Luke looked to find Han and his family all coming in his front door, tailed by Lando. The latter carried a small case that he kept firmly away from all the children.
Luke saw Han, felt a rush of emotions, and suddenly Luke was hustling forward to embrace the other.
"I'm glad you are safe," Luke murmured. "We've all been worried about you."
Han returned the embrace with equal fervor; though Han could sense the deep need in Luke for comfort from the man he called brother.
Han pulled back, eyeing Luke openly. "I just got home this morning, the Falcon was sabotaged, and we almost didn't make it to Lashbane. We had to travel for two weeks at sublight speed to get there, and the only reason we survived the landing was because the planetary security force sent ships to help us."
Luke nodded his understanding. "I'm just happy you're home."
Han eyed Luke critically. "What's happened?"
Luke closed his eyes. "Too much."
Leia indicated the couch. "We came to speak with you and Mara."
"Can we please stay?" Ben asked. "I don't want to be in the dark."
"Neither do I." Emry agreed.
"Yes, you may," Luke said.
Mara indicated the seating area, and once everyone was in a chair or on the couch, Han looked around. "Leia told me that something happened the other night. And where are Ignis and Shmi?"
Luke didn't answer immediately, finding it hard to speak all of a sudden. Thankfully, Mara was able to do so.
"Ignis is gone, and Shmi went after him with Anya."
Han and Leia both straightened, as did Lando. Mara proceeded to tell them what had happened: beginning with Ignis' odd behavior, all the way through to Emry finding Shmi's note. The Skywalkers even allowed Han and Leia to read Shmi's note.
Han sat back once he'd heard everything, and he sighed deeply. "Shmi's a good kid with a solid head on her shoulders. She will be okay you guys."
"I have to believe that," Luke whispered, "for my own sanity."
"Well hey, if she can survive a pack of Mandalorians, she can handle anything," Han said, trying to offer what reassurance he could.
Luke shot a grateful smile at his brother in law.
Han then looked to Lando. "Now I know for certain that Tsu was in league with Vexa. Had we not been delayed, we could have prevented this."
Luke looked up, frowning deeply. "Delayed?"
Han sighed again and sat forward, looking Luke in the eye. "I have something to tell you. Now, don't be upset, because I didn't know Ignis was about to go haywire."
Luke sat forward too. "Ignis told me a few times to talk with you. He said you have the answers I need. Or at least some of them."
Han nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out two folded pages. Luke knew immediately that they were a pair of Ignis' drawings.
"Have you ever heard of a creature called a scalpel squid?"
Luke stared. A squid? Wasn't that what Anya had claimed was inside Ignis? "No."
Han nodded. "Neither had I until Ignis gave me this drawing of one."
Han opened the top page and turned it to show the others. "Lando found this and one other drawing left in my drawer onboard the Falcon on our way home from Bespin. I didn't know what this creature was, or who had given it to me until Lando helped me figure it out. And Lando only knows about this creature because he once delivered one."
"That was before I knew what they were used for." Lando clarified. "Had I known beforehand, I would have rejected the job."
Luke glanced to Lando, then noted the case, which Lando refused to let go of. In fact, Luke had a very bad feeling about the case, and he instinctively thought to shield his children from it.
"What's in there?" Luke pointed to the item in question.
"Hold on a second." Han requested. "Let me continue. Your family is safe, so long as they stay back. What's in there is sealed up tight, but we aren't taking any chances either."
Luke warily nodded, returning his attention to his brother in law. "Go ahead."
"Now, on our way to Bespin, I found Ignis in the hold, and he opened up to me a little." Han softened his tone to help soften a potential blow to Luke. "He told me that he was trying his best to tell you who his master was and one other secret—the reason he could not reveal her—but that no matter what he tried, you just didn't understand."
Luke looked away. "Ignis did try to tell me a few things, and I know he did... but I could never figure out what, no matter what I tried. It was like he was always talking in riddles."
"Ignis confirmed this when we spoke last night," Mara murmured. "And when he tried to say Vexa's name, he suddenly jerked like he'd been shocked, and he gave me a pointed look. And in the letter he wrote, he gave me Vexa's name. But he also said it would result in instant punishment. When he wrote it, there were a few smudges and even a few tears on the page, like he'd jerked again and the stylus tore through."
Luke looked between his wife and his brother. "Keep going..."
"So anyway, Ignis left this and one other picture in my drawer on the Falcon." Han handed it over to Luke, who studied it more closely with a critical eye. It was indeed Ignis' handiwork, and it was in such detail that Luke could not misidentify the creature if he saw it in reality. Suspiciously, Luke's eyes slid to the case that Lando held fast.
Han followed his gaze and nodded. "Yes. The guys and I went to find one. We actually got one of each gender to be safe."
Emry and Ben looked confused at this sudden turn.
"What did you go get?" Ben inquired.
"The creature in this drawing," Han replied, though he looked back to Luke. "I did everything I could to find information on the scalpel squid, and there is pitifully little to find. I even went to a black-market dealer, and he knew of them but refused to ever have them in his shop. A guy who sold illegal, dangerous creatures was grossed out by this squid," Han said seriously. "My point is; Ignis should not have been able accurately draw this creature if he had never heard of or seen it. Especially with hardly anyone knowing they even exist. But this drawing he did matches it to every detail."
"Why are they so dangerous?" Mara asked.
"Because they are parasitic by nature," Han answered. "This was confirmed by Tsu Mada, the scientist on Kamino we spoke with. We were able to work with him, and we now know how to get the squid out of Ignis."
"...out of Ignis?" Emry breathed, her hands moving slowly to her mouth in horror. "What does that mean?"
Han looked to her, then to her parents. "I firmly believe this creature is inside Ignis' head, but apparently hasn't been activated fully... yet. Once it does, Ignis won't be able to act for himself outside of what his... handler wants for him to do."
Han returned his gaze to Emry and then nodded toward Lando, who opened the case.
"Stay back, kids." Lando warned firmly as he opened it and folded down the first half to reveal two cylinders filled with a clear fluid. And inside each tube was a tiny squid that matched Ignis' drawing exactly, with the exception being the prominent tentacle on one of them.
Luke stared at the creatures, utterly shocked. Mara made no secret about her disgust, and she even shuddered. Ben shied away, but Emry gasped.
"They feel like Ignis did sometimes!" She blurted, drawing everyone's shocked gazes onto her. Emry shrank back at all the attention, swallowing nervously.
"Emry, what do you mean?" Luke asked, somehow finding his voice.
"I... sometimes, when I felt Ignis, he seemed... strange. It was like when you can smell something stinky, but can't find where it's coming from." Emry fiddled with her hair nervously. "I never said anything because I am still learning, and I thought maybe I was just... Force-glitching or something. And besides, look at you and Mom, Dad. You didn't believe anyone else about such a claim."
"Lumpy basically told me the same thing, Luke," Han said. "He and Chewie told me that Ignis smelled funny for a human, different from any others. And once we were able to think, both Wookiees confirmed the scent to be this squid that they had both smelled about Ignis."
Luke ran a hand through his hair. Both of them knew full well that Wookiees had excellent senses of smell. He looked to Han. "So what makes you think this thing is inside Ignis' head?"
"Has Ignis ever acted... really off?" Han asked knowingly, giving Luke a piercing stare. "Think, Luke."
Luke did so, finally sensing the crux of the issue to be at hand. Was it true or not? Everyone was claiming it to be so, and everyone seemed to have facts that pointed to it being the truth. But did— could— Luke believe?
Then Luke remembered. "Bespin. Ignis' lapse during the battle at Bespin! When I felt Vexa go straight for Ignis, and then he suddenly was flying at a reduced capacity. His sudden shift in actions... and I could not reach him at all in the Force! There as something interfering..." Luke felt like he'd been hit in the gut. "That is what I felt! The squid... was controlling Ignis. Or at least in part."
Han nodded. "Yes. Remember what Shmi told us he said to her? That Ignis did what he did, but hadn't wanted to?"
Luke was still finding it hard to believe, and he could not help but stare at the pair of squids now revealed to him. Luke stood and moved to kneel before the containers. The one without the prominent tentacle seemed to sense Luke, and it stirred, trying to get closer to him.
"When Han and I were under water on Kamino," Lando said quietly, "the females tried to get into our helmets. They jumped right at us, and attached to our faceplates. The males could have cared less. We asked about this, and Tsu said that while the females are more prone to taking a host, the males will too if they have no other option."
Luke looked to the pair of squids, then the drawing again, which he pulled to him with the Force. "So it's true then. I can feel the female trying to get to me; I feel her thirst for me."
"We think, since Ignis drew a male, that there's one of those inside his head right now," Han murmured. "But to be safe, we brought one of each."
Luke nodded, and then indicated for Lando to shut the case again, which the man did swiftly. Luke stayed where he was for a time, and then stood.
"This actually explains a lot for me," Luke said softly, almost to himself. "It clarifies a lot of my conversations with Ignis." He grimaced. "I didn't want to believe any of the claims from Anya... but now I know it's true. I just didn't want it to be, I think."
Han nodded, rising. "I didn't either. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But you weren't available, and I felt like time was of the essence." He looked down. "We would have been home in time to prevent Ignis... doing what he did. But Tsu made sure we didn't get here. I think Vexa sped things up once she learned that we knew of the squids."
Luke shook his head. "I am not resentful, Han. I am thankful that you have done all you have for Ignis."
Han laid a hand on Luke's shoulder. "There is one more thing: Ignis' second drawing."
Han held it out to Luke now, and Mara stood to see it also. The couple gazed at what could very well have been a holo of a castle on a cliff had they not known it was a drawing. The detail work was absolute. Luke felt certain that— like the squid drawing— if he laid eyes on this structure in person, he would recognize it immediately.
"B.P.?" Mara asked, looking to the others.
"I think I may have narrowed this down to Boz Pity," Han said. "But that's just guesswork from my research. However, I don't know exactly why he would have given me this drawing. I have my theories, but at this point that's all they are."
"Boz Pity is all but uninhabited," Lando informed them. "Nobody lives there after the Gargantelle species was killed off. It's called the graveyard planet, and it's a very apt title."
"I don't know much about Boz Pity either." Luke admitted. "But this looks like it's on a cliff."
"That could be anywhere," Lando said grimly. "The planet is full of them."
Luke sighed. "I don't know why he'd give this to us either, Han. But we can worry about this drawing later. Right now... I have a trip of my own to take. And I need to do so alone."
Mara nodded, placing her hand on his shoulder in support. "Yes, you do."
Han looked to Luke. "Where are you going?"
"I think I will start by going to see Venussia's father," Luke whispered. "Though I do not know how that meeting will go. I have not seen him since Shmi's birth. And I have to find the man."
Leia stood and embraced her twin. "We will help Mara with the kids for as long as she needs and with whatever she needs."
Luke smiled. "Thank you."
The children were all rather quiet, but Luke knew they were processing everything. Han and the others bowed out, with Lando promising to keep the squids secret and safe until Luke called for them. Since Lando had no children, he was the best one to keep them, and everyone agreed.
Once their home was empty of all visitors, Luke turned to his twin children. "I need you both to be on your best behavior for your mother, alright? I have to go away and figure some things out about Ignis and myself."
Emry nodded, coming forward to embrace her father. "I love you Daddy."
"I love you too."
Mara sent Emry off to play, and then Ben approached Luke.
"Can I help you pack?" the boy asked.
"Sure." Luke took Ben to the bedroom and Mara remained where she was, sensing that Ben wanted to speak with just his father.
"I am so confused again!" Ben told Luke earnestly as he drew out the man's satchel. "Ignis betrayed us, hurt us... but yet he didn't. I think. I... I don't know how to feel anymore! I finally let him in, and he hurt me!"
Luke nodded, starting to pack, but focusing on Ben. "I know. If it helps, I feel much the same way. I grew very close to Ignis, and his actions hurt me deeply. But I have to give him a chance, too. Now that the shock is beginning to wear off..." Luke sighed. "I just... need to know for certain if Ignis really is..."
"Is what?" Ben whispered.
"My son," Luke replied evenly.
"And my older brother for real?" Ben added.
"That too."
Ben paused. "I don't know if that makes me feel worse about what happened or not."
Luke knelt before Ben. "Son, you need to understand that Ignis is as much in the dark as your older sister and I are. We are all three struggling with this, but in our own manner. And Ignis... I think he really was working under duress, as always. Ignis was forced into servitude to Vexa; he did not choose the life he leads. I also believe that Vexa cornered him so thoroughly that when your mother offered him a hand of assistance, he rejected it."
Ben grimaced. "I can only imagine what she's made him do."
Luke shook his head. "It's probably better for you not to."
Ben nodded his agreement. "Do you really think Shmi will be okay?"
"I have to trust that she will be," Luke reiterated. "She held her own alright when she was missing before, remember? I think, as much as I don't like her running off, that she will be alright. For now. I will find her, but after I have my own answers."
Luke completed his packing and then paused. "Since Shmi took the Nebula, I will be taking my X-wing. Artoo, come on."
The droid— happy to be in use— rolled into view with a tootle, at which point Luke spoke to him. "Go prep the X-wing, Artoo."
The droid bleeped an affirmative and wheeled away.
Luke detoured to the closet for his final item, and carefully removed the small case that held Ignis' blood sample. Luke had a basic plan of action in mind, one that would begin with his meeting Corsair.
The final item Luke packed was the small parcel Ignis had left for Luke. The Jedi Master still wasn't ready to open it, but maybe he would later on.
Luke gathered his gear and then left the bedroom, Ben behind him. Emry was there again, and she hugged him once more, as did Ben. Luke then looked to Mara, and the two shared a deep kiss.
I love you, Mara. Luke said across their bond. I don't know how long this till take me.
Do what you must Luke, Mara replied. I will hold down the fort here. You need to do this in order to gain any ground. And when you need me, call. I will come.
Luke smiled her smile. I know you will.
Luke then smiled upon his youngest. "My little Kodai... I love you."
Kodai gurgled happily at Luke, and then the man pulled away. With a final wave, Luke left home, feeling the Force begin to tingle as if with anticipation.
00000
My dearest Anya,
It was quiet on the Nebula, since Shmi had chosen to sleep for the bulk of the jump through hyperspace. Anya was in the lobby, the first of Ignis' pages open to view. On it was a letter penned to her from Ignis.
I will probably never get to tell you in person, and if things go the way I suspect they will... then this is truly my end. And as much as it breaks my heart, this will also be our goodbye.
But though I have gone away, I cannot do so without opening my heart, utterly and completely, to you.
You... who have always been there for me. You... who wiped my tears and protected my ravaged heart. You... who has only ever believed in me, and seen not the monster I can be, but the hurting boy I truly am.
When I was utterly alone, with only Byrec and his family for company, you broke through my misery like the sun breaks through the darkest storm clouds. You were kind to me; you cared for me when no one else did.
I know I would be half the person I am today if it had not been for you. Perhaps I may not have found the strength to survive long enough to be handed over to my true tormentor.
You have always waited for me, Anya. I cannot tell you how much that means to me, even as my heart aches with how unfair that is to you. But you never complained; you have always been so understanding and compassionate.
Don't ever lose your passion for life, Anya. Don't stop living just because I am absent. I may be gone, but my love for you will never be snuffed out. Yes, Anya, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And I have clung to you even as I've known that someday we would finally be separated for good.
Your heart is absolutely beautiful Anya, as is your voice. You could love the blackest soul, and you bring light and hope into any room you enter.
I love how your eyes—your beautiful green eyes—can see right into my soul. You see me. You are the only one who does.
Your hair... I love stroking your silky smooth locks. I admit that while you slept in my care those few times, I often ran my fingertips through your hair. I couldn't help myself: I just wanted to express my love for you in any small way I could, even if you weren't awake for it.
I will admit to you that I have dreamt of what it would be like if we could be together. If that had been the case, not a day would go by without me letting you know that you are my world. All I need is you in order to be utterly happy. I care not for material wealth.
I am not always good with words when it comes to the heart, so please see my drawings for what they are: my love for you unfolding for your eyes alone. Everything I've drawn is a wish of my aching heart... and an expression of love.
I cannot adequately express how grateful I am for you, and for all you have done for me.
Please take care of yourself. Promise me you will live a full, happy life. Don't waste away on my account. And... please, remember me. I don't want to be entirely forgotten, or for my life to have been an utter waste.
I love you Anya... oh, how I love you. So what if we are as young as we are. What does the galaxy know? If they were to ask me if I know what love is, I'd answer yes.
Love is Anya. Just Anya.
I wish I could have tasted your sweet lips, just once. In one dream, I did briefly imagine you in my arms, our lips locked in a passionate embrace. Nothing more than that crossed my mind, though: I would never wish to defile you. You deserve only the best treatment, and I will never willingly, consciously hurt you.
My time is drawing near; I can feel it in my bones. Remember my love for you when you are sad. I hope it is enough to get you by until you find someone else to make you happy.
Thank you Anya. Thank you for always caring for me, and for never judging me. Thank you for just being you. Never stop being you. The galaxy needs you.
I need you...
All my love,
Rahvin
Anya's heart was both full of love for Ignis in return, and sorrow at what she knew was to become of him. The two parts merged until her eyes welled with tears, though they did not yet fall.
She set the letter aside and opened the next bundle of paper, this one a collection of a few pages. They were drawings, she realized.
The first one was a collage, done up like a scrapbook of holos. Each depicted a snapshot of Ignis and Anya together; as if they were engaged and at a holo shoot. And in each snapshot, the love on Ignis' face was clear as day.
Anya studied every detail drawn by Ignis' hand for her, seeing what only she could. She saw the way his hand upon her face in one of the snippets barely teased at a strand of hair that had fallen loose of the clip that held the rest of it back. She saw the tiny part between Ignis' lips, just like he'd done the day she'd sworn he was about to kiss her... but hadn't.
Anya shifted to the next drawing in the bundle, a grayscale profile of Anya, where the only color was her eyes. After that was a full-body shot of Anya backlit by the sun. Her hair especially shown as if it was a spit of dark red flame, and her eyes shone with bliss.
After that one was a drawing of Anya as a child, holding a similarly young, beaten Ignis as he mourned yet another beating. The scarred, bruised form of the boy in this image reminded Anya of one of the reasons she was going after Ignis. Anya closed her eyes and swore silently to never give up on him. She hadn't then, and she would not now.
The next drawing was a family-type image that brought a warm smile to Anya's face. It was of Ignis and her... with Bo between them, all of them as happy as could be. Anya slowly ran a finger over the image of Bo, her heart clenching in remembered pain of the anooba's death. Anya missed the anooba fiercely. She had always had his company in her solitude... and it felt wrong to not have him now.
Shifting to the next page in line, Anya's heart filled with more love, and her eyes finally spilled over. In this image, Anya was in Ignis' arms, his cheek resting on her head, while she had her head settled over his heart. Both their eyes were closed as they simply held one another.
It was the final drawing that made Anya cry a little harder.
There on the page, Anya and Ignis were kissing. He had one hand buried in her hair, the other at her back to draw her close to him. Anya's hands were upon his shoulders, though one had begun to snake around to his back.
Anya gazed upon this image, finally holding the entire cluster of drawings to her heart. "I will find you, Ignis. I will find you and free you from Vexa... and we will be together."
Anya knew there was one final package, and she set the drawings aside with care before opening the final one. Out into her palm fell the necklace she had given Ignis. She saw a small inscription on the page and read it.
I dare not take this back with me, lest Vexa be able to use it against you. My master is capable of many things: some of her abilities are not well known among even the Jedi Masters of old. Please keep this safe for me, Anya. I wore it every day while I was on Coruscant, and I will cherish it forever. I will cherish you forever... and Bo. I miss that anooba more than I can say. But at least he is at peace and running free in the Force. Keep this as a reminder of me. I added a bit of my own hair to the outside, and fused the strands in place with a Force technique I learned. Keep this to remember Bo and me by now.
Anya took a final, shuddering breath and then placed the necklace about her own neck, settling the crystal underneath her tunic. Then she collected all the pages and carefully placed them into her travel bag where they would be safe.
Anya at long last settled into the copilot's chair and simply gazed at the mottled view of hyperspace.
I am coming, Ignis... my love. Anya promised in her heart.
She heard the cabin door open and Anya looked over to see Shmi emerge. She looked a little put-out still, though Anya sensed that there was more there than just the sorrow of leaving her family behind.
Anya offered a smile, and Shmi settled into the seat across from her.
"Did you get any rest?" Anya asked.
"I did," Shmi replied softly, "until I remembered something. Now I can't sleep."
Anya allowed her curiosity to show. "What did you recall?"
"That today is my lifeday." Shmi looked down, and Anya could see unshed tears pressing against the other's eyelashes.
Anya sat straighter. "Today is?"
"Well, it will be in..." Shmi checked the chrono, "an hour. I will be eighteen in an hour."
Anya smiled for her friend. "Well, happy lifeday then."
Shmi tried to smile back, but couldn't quite make it happen. "This is the first lifeday I'll have missed being with my family. And it's a big lifeday too: a milestone in my life."
Anya felt her heart go out to Shmi, and she recalled something she had picked up while she'd gathered foodstuffs for their trip. Anya stood to retrieve it and then returned to Shmi.
"Well, I don't have anything fancy, but here's a lifeday treat for you." Anya offered the small package to Shmi.
Shmi blinked in surprise and opened the lid to see a brownie within. Touched, Shmi smiled gratefully.
"Thank you Anya." Shmi reached over and clasped her friend's hand. "I will be okay; I just needed some company."
Anya waved lightly. "I know the feeling. There were many nights when I needed Bo's company to keep me from losing it."
Shmi indicated her understanding and then waved Anya toward the tiny table. "Come on, we'll share this."
Anya lifted a brow. "You don't have to..."
"It's my treat, and I want to share it with you." Shmi declared firmly. "I'm not taking no for an answer."
Anya chuckled but slid from the copilot's seat. "Well, if you insist."
00000
The mottled view of hyperspace faded into the pinpricks of light that was open space. What filled the lower half of his viewport was the glowing emerald orb of Boz Pity. There were only small bodies of water on the planet, most of them oceans. There were also a fair amount of rivers, which allowed the landmasses to be so vibrant with plant life.
But Ignis was not here to admire the scenery. No, he had something to do. Ignis was once more in full acolyte mode. He had spent the trip back to Vexa systematically removing any traces of sorrow or regret.
And by removing, Ignis merely locked them away into a mental vault deep within his mind. There they would stay along with the memory of his parents. Ignis could not afford to allow his time with the Skywalkers and Anya to leak through while he was with Vexa again. If they did, she would know and react instantly to them.
And that would not bode well for Ignis.
No, he had to be like he was before he'd gone on this assignment: her obedient student. Only, he wasn't that person anymore, at least not fully. There was a large part of him that was still afraid of his master, and Ignis was fully aware of what awaited him when he returned to his master's presence empty handed.
Ignis realized he was spacing out, and he shook his head, flipping a switch on his console and opening a hailing channel. There was only one spot on the entire planet that would be able to hear it, so Ignis was not worried about anyone snooping.
"This is Acolyte Ignis, clearance code A-1138421," he said clearly, "requesting a clear lane to the hangar bay."
It was not long before there was a crisp reply. "Acknowledged. The coast is clear, Acolyte Ignis."
Ignis did not bother to thank the man on the other end of the line. Ignis took his skiff into the atmosphere and stayed high as he flew the route to the castle on the edge of one of the land masses. The structure came into view long before the cliffs it rested upon did. The base of the edifice was surrounded by a deep fog, which made the castle appear as if it were floating in midair.
Ignis kept his course true and steady, watching the doors to the hangar bay open to admit him. With practiced ease, Ignis piloted through them, and settled his ship into its normal spot. Each acolyte had their own skiff to use, which came with their own parking space. Each acolyte was also required to aid in the upkeep of their vessels. This was to teach them how to affect repairs should that be necessary.
Ignis landed and began to shut the vessel down. He felt his pulse quicken now that he was actually back inside Vexa's castle. This was it: no going back now. Ignis closed his eyes, reminding himself who he was doing this for.
Ignis was willingly defying Vexa's orders in order to protect Kodai. Anya was with Luke and family, so they would help keep her safe. Plus Anya was learning from Mara Jade, so Ignis knew that his best friend was in capable hands.
Ignis was also, lastly, doing this for himself. It would be his final act of defiance towards Vexa. His last stand.
Still, knowing what he was walking to made the young man tremble. He had sacrificed himself for all those he had grown to love. And Ignis would do so again if given the chance to do it over. Ignis took a deep, steadying breath and willed away any nerves he felt.
He could do this.
Ignis pictured Luke's face, and he heard the man's words from the other day: I'm proud of you...
Ignis took courage from that, and solidified his determination. His chin came up and Ignis' eyes hardened. He would face his fate with dignity, as he'd told Anya. He would not cower before Vexa today.
With that thought fixated in his heart, Ignis rose to his feet and exited his ship. He walked with purpose through the halls of the castle, feeling the eyes of others on him as he did so. Ignis paid nobody any heed, knowing they would not stop him until after he'd reported to Vexa.
Ignis arrived at the doors to her throne room and nodded to the guards there. The pair of them turned and opened the double doors for him. Ignis slipped through and walked in silence to the dais deep within the vast space. Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows behind Vexa's throne, the skies outside were gray and ominous as rain threatened.
Ignis stopped at the exact place required for all acolytes, and dropped to one knee. He did not bow his head, however, and Vexa's eyes narrowed.
"I have returned, Master," Ignis said simply.
"I can see that," Vexa retorted mildly, eyeing him openly. "Aren't you missing someone?"
Ignis shook his head. "No."
Vexa lifted a brow. "No?"
Ignis did not repeat himself, merely waited. Vexa touched his mind in the Force and then Ignis felt her temper rise.
"You do not have the brat." Vexa hissed.
"I do not," Ignis replied. "I will not willingly subject a baby to what I know would await him if I did."
Vexa sat forward, her lips lifting in a snarl. "You would dare presume to know my plans for the child?"
Ignis met her gaze boldly. He was doomed anyway, so why not? "I know enough about you to know his fate would not be a pleasant one."
Vexa snapped to her feet. "You know nothing!"
She lifted a hand and Ignis was swamped by immense pain. He gasped and struggled to remain upright, and thankfully managed to do just that, as the burst of pain was short-lived. Ignis' breathing was a little labored, but he remained otherwise calm.
Vexa approached. "You failed me, Ignis, when I explicitly warned you of the consequences if you did."
"I know," Ignis whispered, once more meeting her gaze. "Consider this my last act of free will: defying you. I made the right choice, and I accept the consequences."
Vexa's anger simmered and she grabbed a shank of his hair. "You denied me my revenge, after years in the planning stages!"
Vexa resorted to physical violence this time, striking Ignis in the face. Ignis merely rolled with it, and his calm demeanor seemed to irk her further, but then she paused, and a devious smile played across her lips.
When she straightened slowly, Ignis eyed her warily. What was she playing at now?
"Did you enjoy your extended vacation, Ignis?" Vexa purred. "You really should thank me, you know."
Ignis knew she was baiting him, and so he remained quiet, not wanting to get into it with her.
"You should thank me for giving you an extended life-day gift." Vexa went on. "It is your lifeday today, isn't it?"
Ignis looked down.
"Yes, indeed it is," Vexa ran a finger down the young man's shoulder. "You've finally reached adulthood, Ignis. Congratulations. Too bad you won't be able to enjoy it on your own terms."
Ignis shifted away from her touch when it continued.
Vexa chuckled, well aware of his aversion to touch. She did not need to know that he'd grown accustomed to it from the Skywalkers and Anya. But nobody else was allowed to touch Ignis without his consent. Even Vexa, though there was truly little he could do to stop her.
"Anyway, aren't you curious what your extended lifeday gift was?" Vexa purred, bending down and speaking into his ear. When he stubbornly did not respond, she went on anyway. "Why... time with your actual family, of course."
This time Ignis did turn to her, though he didn't speak.
"Yes, Ignis," Vexa nodded, "I allowed you to spend time with your true father, and your twin sister."
Ignis didn't answer: he couldn't. All of his suspicions, his gut instincts... had been correct after all? But... how? And was Vexa simply toying with him as she so often did?
Vexa gauged his reaction, and seemed a little disappointed, but just for a moment. "I see you are not as surprised as I had assumed you would be. Clearly you put a few pieces together for yourself. Well done, Ignis: I always knew you were intelligent."
Finally he found his voice. "How?"
Vexa lifted her head imperiously. "Do not think I am going to tell you everything at this point. But rest assured I am telling the truth. Feel it in the Force, Ignis: Shmi is your twin sister, and Luke is your father. You are not a Vrei," Vexa all but spat the name with contempt, "you are a Skywalker!"
Her eyes hardened, and she snatched out a hand to take his face in her hand. Her fingers clenched so tightly to his chin that her nails drew blood.
"And you are mine to do with as I see fit." Vexa let go and entered a set of commands into the device at her wrist.
Seconds later, something cold and oily slid along the inside of Ignis' head, and he felt the squid react instantly. Ignis gasped as the squid tightened its hold on Ignis' brain, and then began to remove Ignis' free will. Ignis fell forward, catching himself on his hands, though is arms quivered as he instinctively struggled to ward off the creature.
Ignis began to see spots dance before his eyes, and he recalled the moment above Bespin when he'd been similarly taken under the squid's influence. Ignis now knew that the previous occurrence had paled in comparison with what was going on now. Ignis cried out at long last as the squid gave one final, tightening wrench.
Then everything seemed to freeze, and Ignis simply panted. He did not know how much time passed, but he was well aware of when the squid relaxed enough to allow Ignis to operate within set parameters.
Vexa once more reached down and took Ignis' chin, and she lifted it until he eyes met hers once more.
"Rise." Vexa commanded.
Ignis tried to hesitate, and he did succeed momentarily, but the squid won over, and Ignis rose to his feet.
"Good. Now, kneel before me."
Ignis did so, bowing his head.
"Kiss my boots."
Disgusted at the thought, Ignis did his best to resist, but he couldn't. Feeling bile rise in his throat, Ignis bent and touched his lips to her boots, one at a time. A soft, malicious laugh filled his ears, and Vexa bid him rise once more, which he did.
She then called for one of the guards, who appeared seconds later and came forward. "Bring me the boy in cell 28."
"Yes, Milady." The man bowed and left.
While they waited, Vexa circled Ignis, eyeing him from all angles for a while before she chose to speak once more. "I have big plans for you, Ignis. You are my finest acolyte, and I will put you on the front lines of this war we wage. You will be my fist in the upcoming skirmishes."
Ignis heard, and he closed his eyes, knowing he could do nothing to stop what was coming. He was now her puppet; and she pulled all of his strings.
The door opened again, and Ignis turned his head to see a boy about Ben's age being led forward by the guard. The child shook like a leaf as he was brought before Vexa. The guard threw the child to his knees, and the youth swallowed heavily, looking upon Vexa and waiting to see what she would do.
"This new recruit has failed time and again to improve. He survives, yes, but only by the skin of his teeth." Vexa turned to Ignis, her back to the child. "You know full well that I only allow a certain grace period in the learning of all things here."
Ignis only looked on, a sinking feeling in his gut. He knew full-well where this was going: he had seen this before many times. Only, it was usually Vexa that did the deed. Why was she making him do it now?
"Because I need to test the strength of the squid's hold on you," Vexa whispered at his ear, making Ignis jump. He hadn't sensed her coming up behind him, so caught up was he in the child's impending demise. Ignis rose and stepped away from her, feeling her breath on his neck like burning steam.
"And by extension, my hold on you." Vexa finished, unphased by Ignis' movements.
The child on the floor began to speak shakily. "P-please, Master, I will do better! I am trying so hard!"
"Silence!" Vexa barked. "You have been given the same number of opportunities as the rest of your peers. You have been found severely lacking. I cannot afford any weak links in my collection of acolytes. I will not allow it."
Vexa grabbed Ignis' acolyte lightsaber from his belt, and placed it into his hand. "Kill the boy."
Ignis found it growing ever harder to resist his orders, and with a heavy heart, Ignis activated his blade, the ruby glow bathing the child before him ominously. The boy's eyes widened in terror, and he tried to back up. But he hit the knees of the guard, who only shoved him back to where he had been.
"Pl-please... have mercy Master!" The boy pled tremulously.
"Kill him." Vexa ordered again, pointing at the boy without looking in his direction. No, her eyes bored into Ignis' instead. "Now."
Ignis couldn't fight the squid anymore, and he maneuvered his blade with one smooth motion. The child screamed once and then was silenced as the blade met flesh.
Replacing his weapon to its place on his belt, Ignis could only stare at the body that now lacked a head. He heard Vexa laugh again, and then order her guard to dispose of the dead child.
Then she motioned for Ignis to follow her, which he did. She led him to his personal chambers, and took him inside. His eyes instantly went to a set of armor set out beside his bed.
"I took the liberty of having armor made specifically for you, complete with a mask." Vexa informed him. "Your true identity will remain a secret. People will know only your appearance, your deeds, and your new name."
Ignis simply looked on, feeling his heart habitually sealing itself against all emotion once again. It was a survival tactic that had served Ignis well in the past. Only this time, Ignis willed himself to go numb on the inside as well. Ignis didn't want to feel anything anymore. What was the point anyway?
"To the galaxy, you will be known as Vexa's Fist. Or simply Fist." Vexa informed Ignis. "You will spearhead ground battles, help in space fights, and you will actively participate in the Rising's rise to power."
Ignis didn't move, nor speak, though his eyes took in the set of armor he was now going to be required to wear. In general, Ignis hated armor, feeling like it hindered him. A breastplate was one thing, but anything that weighted him down or restricted his freedom of movement was unnecessary. But by the looks of things, this armor had been designed to move with Ignis instead of encumber him. Still, Ignis did not really want to wear it.
But what he wanted definitely no longer mattered.
The armor was done up in red and black, and was designed to look menacing. It was meant to go over his normal clothing, which were long-sleeved tunics and pants anyway. And of course he would wear his boots as usual. In Ignis' mind, the armor was akin to what a Mandalorian would wear, while following its own style.
The helmet was the biggest difference, however. It was meant to go over Ignis' head entirely, and was also black with red accents. The head portion came down into a bit of a scowl at eyebrow-level, and rested over red-rimmed eye lenses. The nose and mouth portion were one elongated piece that began at the bridge of Ignis' nose, swept up and under the eye sockets before plunging into a loose, blocky 'V' past the chin by at least an inch. The entire piece reminded Ignis of a streamlined droid's head. The patterning on the helmet was a stylized version of the tattoos on Vexa's lekku.
Ignis chose not to comment on the new armor, and he welcomed it when he finally succeeded in going numb to the world around him.
"Come, Fist, we will get you fitted into your new armor." Vexa made a motion and two guards appeared. "Help him into his new gear."
The men saluted and set to work. Ignis stood where he was as the men systematically settled each part of Ignis' armor into place. It took a few minutes, and Ignis knew he would be required to take care of his armor after this point, so he paid close attention to where everything went, and in what order.
When at long last the helmet was placed over his head, Ignis was gratified to find that his vision was not tinged another color. It was shaded just slightly, but otherwise he could see just fine.
Ignis did not move; planning to stay put until Vexa ordered him to do otherwise.
"You two are dismissed." Vexa waved the guards off, and they left without another word. "As for you, Ignis, you may only remove your armor in the privacy of your personal quarters, is that understood?"
Ignis nodded silently.
"Good. Now, I will give you a few days to get used to your new armor, and then we begin our attacks. We begin with Scipio."
Vexa gestured and Ignis moved, finding it awkward to be moving around in his new gear. Ignis also found that the helmet was strange to him. It made his head feel heavier, and he wondered how long it would be until he was used to it.
"Happy Lifeday, Ignis." Vexa chuckled as she observed him trying to get used to his armor. "Your Sith Lord grandfather would be so proud of you right now. You're taking your first steps into your rightful place: at my side."
Ignis' mood soured. He would not stand at her side of his own choice. Ever.
And... Vexa claimed he was Luke's son, and by extension, Anakin Skywalker's grandson. But did Ignis believe it, even when the Force rang with truth on that?
Ignis did not feel worthy at all of such an honor, and so he rejected it because it made him feel safer...
Or it would have, had he been open to feeling anything anymore.
I am nobody, Ignis thought morbidly. I never have been, and now I truly never will be.
Ignis firmly reined in any shards of emotion that tried to spark within him, allowing the emotional numbing to spread over his entire body, and even into his spirit.
When he was led to a practice room, and instructed to work with his lightsaber, Ignis did just that.
His master's wish was his command, now, after all.
**End Book One**
(A/N: Please continue on with my characters in "Book Two: Penumbra". Thank you to 1GreenEyes and princesselsaamidala22 for following my story through thick and thin. God speed!)