Trigun is owned by Yasuhiro Nightow.

Old flames

Vash stared bug eyed at Doc Ben. He was at least fifty so the last time Meryl had been here this man was a strapping youth.

"If you want answers follow me I have some coffee set out. Meryl needs her sleep and I doubt that you'll get any with what I just told you."

----

Stella had just finished helping Nick and Millie settle in their room when she found Knives mulling about the door to their room. "What's the matter? Worried?"

Knives grunted. "Not in the least."

"Then why so glum?"

"I envy you and Meryl." Admitted Knives his face set in a far away glare. "The connection that you two have, it's something that Vash and I should have had."

Stella smiled softly and led Knives to bed. "Don't worry about it; you'll have all of eternity to make it up."

----

"Meryl and Stella showed up right after I had moved here to begin my practice. They were ragged and wasted by the desert. I immediately brought them into my home and nursed them back to health. Though I was quite amazed at how quickly they recovered. They kept things from me though, like how they knew how to treat patients and what drugs went with others and which didn't. They never spoke about their past, and Meryl made it all too obvious that she didn't want to stay in Meadows longer then what was necessary. Stella loved it here, she mentioned once that it reminded her of home, and I swear I say Meryl physically flinch.

"I would hear them giggling and laughing though I never heard them speak a word. They had pictures in their bags that showed two women that looked remarkably like them only they were blonde not the deep blacks that they are now. Over the next few months I grew closer to Meryl. She seemed so distant that I wanted to pull her out of her shell, show her what life was. I courted her, like any proper man would. I took her out to dinners, bought her flowers, and called her beautiful, fascinating and wonderful. At first she was stiff and unsure, much like a child would be around adults, I had heard them mention that they had been away from people for a long time, and I wanted to gradually bring her back. When she was finally able to feel comfortable it was as though someone had put on a light. When she smiled the room lit up, though I could never reach the darker depths of her grey eyes.

"I think it was because she was getting too comfortable here that she allowed me to kiss her that night, and spurred her into telling me her story. The last night I saw her; I had taken her out for dinner then a quite walk. I didn't know that she and Stella had already agreed that it was time for them to leave. That night would be our parting. I had walked her to their shared room when she pulled me, rather shyly towards my room. I didn't question, but when she closed the door and stood baring it I knew something was wrong. There in the late night shadows she told me her life story, how she wasn't human, and how she was looking for a man named Vash the Stampede and that she hopped that he would be like her and that she would finally be able to be at peace.

"She was the aggressor and once she started I took over. I never asked if she was going to stay with me, or if she loved me. I took comfort knowing that she was giving herself to me for keeping her secret for so long, and I think she took comfort knowing that I had helped her out of her shell, brought her back. I never felt her depart, but she did leave a note. She told me that she cared deeply for me, and that when she returned she would bring 'him'. That this would close the book on us, and to live my life to the fullest. I never told her how much I loved her, and I never could. She distanced herself thinking it a kindly thing, or a crush." Ben looked to the room where Meryl lay. "I just wish I had been the one that lived forever. I would have given everything to spend the rest of time waking up to her stormy grey eyes."

Vash's head fell. This was what Meryl had meant by unclean. She had given her virginity to Ben so he would always have something to remind him of her. And after that she had left, taking with her Ben's heart. "I'm sorry. Meryl's just so determined. There isn't much I can do to make her stop when she has something she wants to do."

"Don't apologise my boy. I have had my whole life to reflect on that night. What it meant to give something so precious to me, but not to her mate. I know it must have bothered you that she wasn't…kept for you but, Meryl always tried to give what she could to those she cared about."

Vash smiled ruefully, "no actually, it didn't bother me one bit it bothered her though. I think it really upset her that she wasn't as pure as I was, so she said anyway." Vash looked to the window, his piercing green eyes glazed over with the memories of the previous day. "No I was actually kind of glad Meryl knew what she was doing. I may be a flirt but I never really had the urge to sleep with any of the women that I bothered. When I meet Meryl I knew she was it for me. And anyway, I'm a quick study, I found other ways that she didn't know about to get her going." Vash bragged and rubbed the back of his head, glee making his masculine features shine.

"Oh really? You're so proud of yourself now, mate? After hours of practice?" came Meryl's weary voice. Vash spun around and gazed lovingly at Meryl. She stood out like fine wine on a full rack. Her body was silhouetted against the late evening light. Vash's spare shirt hung loosely and covered Meryl to well past her knees. The sleeves were rolled up to her wrists and the creases of Vash's elbow could be seen just after the last roll showing once again how small she really was.

"Meryl!" cried Vash rushing to her side and picking her up and holding her close. Meryl made little movement to move away though her eyes were set on Ben. After Vash had gotten his hug and settled Meryl on his lap without protest did he notice Meryl's stiff back and sad eyes.

"Hello Ben." She spoke quietly.

Ben smiled and reached out for Meryl's hand. "I have missed you Meryl. I'm glad to see that you're well."

Vash looked from one to the other and their clasped hands, and he suddenly felt very ashamed at how he had acted when he saw Meryl. After everything that Ben had told him he gone and acted like a schoolboy with a crush.

Meryl sensing Vash unease squeezed Ben's hand and leaned back into Vash, forcing him to wrap his arms about her to keep her steady. "I'm glad you are well too. How was your wife?"

Ben smiled. "Well it's a good thing Stella came when she did. Margaret would have been in far more pain then she needed to be. But she passed quietly and she said to thank you."

Meryl tilted her head. She had never met Ben's wife, and she had never really held Meryl in high regard because of the way she had left Ben. "Why is that Ben?"

Ben smiled softly and looked to the window where he remembered Meryl standing and smiling, then that of his late wife doing the same. "She said that if you hadn't left then she wouldn't have had a chance in hell of getting me. She was glad that you left so that she would be free to love me."

Meryl also smiled and looked to Vash over her shoulder. "And if I hadn't left you I would not have found my mate. We benefited each other in the end."

Ben rose, his legs sore after standing over Meryl for so long. "Well it's late. The spare bedroom is just as you left it. You and Vash may stay there tonight. Then we'll walk over to your old place and get yourselves settled."

Meryl nodded softly and gently brought Vash to his feet, and led him down the hall opposite from Ben's room. They entered a quaint and small room with one large bed taking up the space. Meryl fluffed the sheets removing any of the dust that had accumulated over the week that Ben had left the bed. Meryl knew his habits and even if no one slept in the bed he still changed it every week.

"Meryl…" whispered Vash.

Meryl turned to see Vash looking rather uncomfortable in the room. He didn't feel right sleeping with her when Meryl and Ben had so much history.

Meryl smiled softly and pulled Vash into a hug. "Don't worry Vash. Ben knows. We both had to come to terms with what we were to each other. I love you and I care deeply for Ben, but time changes, as do people. He would not have loved the woman I was, and you, you do. Come, please we are mates now and that means this is a new start for us. Let's not waste it."

Finally Vash smiled, he liked that idea and picked Meryl up and settled her on the bed. They fell asleep in each other's arms knowing that they had all of their long lives to make a new life.