"Indivisible" – Chapter 4

Alex made her way home through the New York City darkness, still somewhat dazed by everything that happened that night. She'd never seen Bobby quite that angry – at least not at her. If she were to be totally honest with herself, she'd have to admit she provoked it. She truly had been pretty bitchy. What was it about Nicole Wallace that had this affect on her? Is this really just about Nicole?

And what was his final comment? Something about his desire not being for Nicole. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

She walked in her front door, tossed her keys on the side table and immediately checked for any voice messages – nothing. Come on, Alex … did you really think he'd call? Besides, he always called her cell phone.

Swallowing the surprising feeling of disappointment, she decided to do as Bobby had instructed. She poured herself a glass of wine, sank into a tub full of lavender-scented bubbles and worked at getting a new perspective.

The problem was, she kept coming back to the fact that Bobby never actually denied sleeping with Nicole. Which led to the powerful question of why this bothered her so much.

She wouldn't allow herself to think it was something as immature as jealousy. First of all, the implications of that were more than she cared to consider.

Plus, she knew full well that Bobby had a bit of a reputation as a ladies' man. Although nothing had ever seemed too serious, at least from his side of it, he kept pretty busy. And even though he preferred keeping his social life separate from work, there had been a lucky few at One PP who had caught his eye, if only for a short time. She had never heard a full blow-by-blow – thank God – but Alex had overheard enough to know that Bobby wasn't a monk. Far from it.

They had even tried a double-date, once. But the entire evening had been too weird. Both she and Bobby were tense and uncomfortable the whole time. Alex chalked it up to trying just a little too hard to blend their work and social lives. By unspoken agreement, they never did that again.

No, Alex had to throw aside the jealousy factor. Why? Because it's irrelevant. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. Bobby's dated lots of women and it's never bothered me. Nicole's not just any woman – she's his intellectual equal. Irresistible Desire. 'It's not for Nicole.'

She rose up out of the tub so quickly she sloshed water over the side and onto the floor. That's it, bubble bath over. The only thing achieved by this relaxation technique was to let her mind wander where it didn't belong. Besides, her wine glass was empty, the water was cooling, and the candle wick was starting to put off black smoke.

Dressed in a soft, comfy pair of pajama bottoms and a thin-strapped tank top, Alex stood barefoot in her kitchen pouring her second glass of wine when she heard the doorbell. Her clock said 10:55 – her reasoning said Bobby.

Looking out the peephole confirmed her suspicion. She sighed and lightly banged her forehead against the door, resting it there while she debated whether or not she wanted to let him in. Nothing had been resolved in her mind and she really didn't think she was ready for this.

"We need to talk."

No, 'Hi.' No, 'Sorry to stop by so late.' Just an upfront statement. Alex gripped the door handle and didn't budge. "I don't think …"

"I need to talk." He slipped past her down the hallway and headed toward the kitchen.

With a flick of her wrist, Alex swung the door shut with a satisfyingly loud bang. She followed him into the kitchen and caught him reaching into the refrigerator for a beer.

"Make yourself at home."

"Thanks, I will." The fact that he totally ignored the irritation in her voice just irritated her even more. After opening the bottle, Bobby tossed the cap on the kitchen counter, loosened his tie and walked into the living room while undoing his collar button.

Alex trailed after him, crossed her arms tightly in front of her, and prepared for the worst. She really wasn't ready for this.

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Now that he was here, Bobby wasn't sure where to start. He'd run several different scenarios through his head on the way over, including one that was especially based in fantasy where no words at all were needed.

Using the beer as a stalling technique, he wandered around her living room and over to the end table where she had a few family photos standing in their frames. Bobby picked up what looked to be the most recent one of her nephew. "He's getting big," he said while gesturing with the picture. A tight-lipped nod and a brief, "Yep" were her only response.

He put the photo back in its spot on the table and decided to just plunge in. "Look, I shouldn't have lost my temper with you tonight." Not exactly an apology, but then again he didn't exactly believe he owed her one. "I guess we're all wound pretty tight on this one."

"Yeah, right around Nicole's little finger," she muttered.

Beer sloshed onto the end table when he put the bottle down with more force than he intended. "Sorry," he mumbled before walking to the kitchen to get some paper towels.

After mopping up the spilled beer, he looked around then decided to just put the damp towels in his jacket pocket rather than walk back past Alex to the kitchen. Apparently sensing his intent, she stepped over and took them from him.

"What is it with you?" he called after her. "It's not as though this is the first time you've seen Nicole try to use sexuality to gain an advantage. She sees it as her strong suit."

"Oh come on, Bobby," Alex threw the paper towels, thankfully toward the sink, and spun back to face him. "This was more than her trying to gain an advantage. She was practically crawling up your body. I'm surprised you didn't go have a cigarette afterward."

He had known that Alex was really pissed about the interview. But there was something more here. Something was eating at the thing he cherished most about her, and he understood with a twinge of sorrow that she didn't trust him – not in this. "You need me to say it." It was a statement, not a question. "Okay, I'll say it … I never slept with Nicole."

Relief? Is that what he saw? Maybe mixed with just a little shame that she had needed to hear it out loud.

Bobby took his jacket off and tossed it across the back of a chair. "You want the whole truth?" Now that he had started, he decided to get it all out. He didn't want this haunting them at some other point in the future.

"When I first met her, before I knew what she was … yeah, I was attracted to her." Alex rolled her eyes and made a sound of disgust. "Well, come on, Alex. She's a beautiful woman with a clever mind, and she wasn't …" my partner. I could feel that way about her because she wasn't you.

"Wasn't what?"

He took a few steps to walk off that thought – it had no place in this argument. "It doesn't matter," he waved her off. Now was not the time to even try going down that path. "When we started to find out just how that clever mind works … how it lacks any … humanity, the attraction turned to fascination. A … curiosity to understand the twists and turns. To understand how a mind that clever can become so perverse."

"It's called 'obsession.'"

Stubborn. Bobby shook his head in frustration at her single-mindedness. "Eames. She manipulates. She plays games … and because I'm up to playing by her rules, I happen to be the one she's chosen as her opponent. I'm drawn to the challenge, not the woman."

It was now Alex's turn to shake her head, apparently not satisfied with his explanation of the allure this all held for him.

Or was it really something more? Placing his hands on his hips, Bobby cocked his head as if a new angle would give him a different perspective. The angry stance of her body and the tight line of her mouth were both contradicted by the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes. "This all seems to matter a lot to you."

Frustration, anger, irritation – all were now gone from Alex's eyes. What remained was the almost intangible concern he'd seen earlier – that and pain.

"She changes you, Bobby," her voice was tight with her effort at self control, something he rarely heard. Looking at the floor, she cleared her throat then had to swallow a few times before she could continue.

"Every time, for weeks you're not the same," her voice still trembled but she resolutely raised her eyes to meet his. "And later, when I can actually begin to recognize you again, there's still something missing. It's as if she's taken a piece of you and kept it with her." A small hiccup of breath as a single tear finally slipped from her eye – she swiped at it impatiently. "I just wonder which piece it will be this time," she said bitterly.

Bobby closed his eyes and scratched his fingers through his hair before rubbing the back of his neck. There was no arguing with what she said – he knew it was true. Was true. Things were different this time. He was different. Even if he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud – even if he hadn't fully admitted it to himself yet – somewhere along the way Alex had changed him. She grounded him when his uncanny understanding of human behavior would have otherwise taken him too far into the damaged and sick minds he seemed to fathom too well. Her faith in him gave him strength.

"That show she put on tonight was for your benefit, not mine," he said gently. "I need you with me on this, Eames. But not with this tension … this division. It's what Nicole wants, and she'll use it against us." He paused, considering what words he could say to make her understand how important this was. If he couldn't get this right …

"And that will be the piece she takes with her this time – your trust in me."

She turned away from him. With arms crossed in front of her, she walked to the window to stare out into the night. Bobby held his breath and waited.

"Of all the precincts in all the world, why did she have to walk into ours?" Alex paraphrased the famous line.

Bobby smiled, the tension leaving him in a small chuckle, and he saw her body relax at the sound. His eyes fixed on the smooth curves where the column of her neck met the lines of her shoulders. Two long strides put him directly behind her. Placing his hands on the curves that held his attention, he began massaging the base of her neck with his thumbs. He felt Alex lean into the touch and she rocked her head from side to side to further release the tension she'd been holding in her shoulders.

He tucked her head under his chin, enjoying the soft touch of her hair on his neck and her sweet, lavender smell. "Are we going to be all right?"

"Mmmmm … no fair expecting a straight answer while you're doing that to my neck."

End