CHAPTER 5: Abominations and Explanations
"I'm Cullen Rutherford, former Knight-Captain in Kirkwall," the tall blond man said with purpose. Yasmin regarded him without speaking. Just then there was a knock at the door.
It was a young man in recon armour. "Commander, Sir? Knight-Captain Rylen has arrived from Starkhaven and has some questions about his post he wants you to answer in person," he said nervously as all eyes of the inner circle were on him as he delivered the message.
Cullen shrugged and shot a glance at Cassandra shrugged back at him. He turned back to the soldier "I'll go take care of that then. It was good to meet you, Herald." Yasmin no
"You already know me," Cassandra shrugged. Yasmin gave her a small smile and lightly punched her shoulder.
"I'm Leliana. My work here constitutes, well…" Leliana paused as she tried to properly phrase her role for the Inquisition without sounding callous.
"She's our spymaster, Yasmin." Cassandra rolled her eyes at Leliana.
"Yes. Tactfully put, Cassandra," Leliana said wryly. She was pleased though, that Yasmin's response was a grin.
"I'm Josephine Cherette Montilyet, former Ambassador from Antiva to Orlais. Currently, I'm the Inquisition's chief diplomat. It's a pleasure to meet you Mistress...Yasmin" the golden woman spoke up, meeting Yasmin's gaze with a small smile. She stumbled perhaps uncharacteristically on the last bit, since Yasmin's surname was unknown to her, as was her rank.
"Let's move this downstairs, shall we? Leliana, have some of your people take care of these traitors, quietly," Cassandra said, gesturing to the Templar corpses strewn on the floor. She flinched. What Yasmin did to them caused blood to flow from their ears, nose, mouth, and eyes. She was sure if she checked, she'd find blood down the two men's trousers as well.
Yasmin reached up to touch her bandana, making sure it was in place, and let out a sigh of relief. Leliana noticed. "So, what is with that ugly thing? It's a crime of fashion, really." Yasmin rolled her eyes at the Sister.
Leliana's bait was snatched when both Charter and Lysette, who stiffened. Yasmin noticed with a shrewd look. "Did you tell them?" Yasmin asked. The humour and warmth with which she addressed the others was gone; her demeanour had instantly become poised, as if she expected a fight.
Everyone tensed at the tone Yasmin took with Charter and Lysette. Her voice wasn't loud. In fact, it was soft. "No, Ma'am," Lysette spoke up first.
"But you saw what lies underneath, correct?" Yasmin asked as she made to change her clothes, completely shameless that there were others in the room with her. At least her back was turned.
"Yes," Charter replied softly. "But…I'm confused," the elf trailed off. Leliana couldn't help but be extremely curious. Charter was normally much more professional. And Leliana had never once seen the mess of emotions in her protégé's eyes that she had right now as she watched Yasmin pull on the set of new trousers Cassandra had donated to her. She unwound her breast wraps and thankfully Josephine had provided some replacements…fancier replacements that put hers to shame.
Yasmin nodded in gratitude as she re-wrapped her breasts. While she was doing so, she turned around to face everyone. She was decent; she had some sense of propriety. But they gasped all the same. Or at least Josephine and Charter did. Cassandra just looked sad.
Yasmin's chest had at some point been torn apart. Her breasts weren't malformed, but there were deep grooves of scar tissue that ran from her left shoulder and across her right breast. It looked to be that Yasmin ran afoul of a very large bear. Unaware of everyone's staring, she picked up the white tunic lying there and put it on. Recovering herself from her momentary regret, Cassandra rolled her eyes and said, "No sense of propriety. You haven't changed at all."
It was obviously meant as a wry joke, but Yasmin's returning smile was almost tragic. "Oh Cassie, if only that were true." Cassandra's eyes widened as she realised the truth of Yasmin's words. When Yasmin left her tutelage, she was a teenager. Now, she was somewhere around twenty-five years old. Cassandra felt a pang of regret that her work for Most Holy kept her from checking in on her favourite protégé.
Leliana looked around and decided she had enough. "All of you, War Room, now. We are discussing, whatever this," she gestured between Yasmin, Charter, and Lysette, "Is about. But I'd like to ensure we aren't overheard." With that, they all quickly followed the hooded spymaster.
Josephine turned to Yasmin and said, "I've set aside a budget for you to outfit yourself at our armourer; and acquire a new weapon. It wouldn't do if our Herald died from a stray arrow that went through that," she gestured at Yasmin's simple shirt.
"Thank you, Ambassador Montilyet," Yasmin said as she looked down at the Antivan woman. "Everything I had brought with me was undoubtedly detoured with the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I appreciate your generosity."
"You're welcome. It was quite simple actually." Josephine said with a smile.
"Yasmin, how does the Mark feel," Cassandra broke in.
Yasmin flexed her hand and replied, "I'm not holding in screams anymore. It's strange. Not exactly painful, but it's always on my mind."
"Well, that's an improvement at least," Lysette commented from behind them.
Yasmin fully turned around though kept pace walking backwards, a feat, which startled thee others. "Yes. Are you a Chevalier?"
"No. I'm–was a Templar recruit. I suppose I still am a Templar, since I trained years for it. But now, I'm just sticking with the people who dragged me out of the debris," Lysette confessed. Yasmin tilted her head in curiosity as she evaluated the slightly shorter woman.
"There's no Lyrium in your blood. Are you in danger?" Yasmin asked with a frown.
"No. I was not taking Lyrium for longer than a couple weeks before the supply lines were totally disrupted. So I've already gone through the ah, withdrawal. It seems despite the chaos all around me, I was fortunate."
They reached the War Room. Once they were all in, Leliana shut the door.
"Do you intend to start taking it again?" Yasmin asked neutrally.
The young Orlesian woman's reply was as quick as it was firm, "Not a chance, Herald. I don't…I don't think I can stop taking again if I start. And I've seen what Lyrium withdrawal did to some of my group on the journey to the Conclave…it's horrible."
Yasmin regarded Lysette with a raised eyebrow, but ultimately nodded and to everyone's surprise, put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Would that more were as wise as you."
Once Leliana shut the door, she barred it so none could interrupt them. Cassandra raised an eyebrow at her colleague and asked, "Shouldn't we wait for Cullen?"
"I don't see why that's strictly necessary," Leliana said casually.
"He's the commander of our forces," Cassandra pointed out stubbornly.
"Why?" Yasmin practically hissed.
Cassandra glared at Yasmin before responding, "Because I brought him here for it. "
Yasmin looked at her mentor with genuine confusion, and to Cassandra's surprise, hurt. "Do you have any idea what the Templars were responsible for in Kirkwall?" Cassandra was going to reply but Yasmin cut her off, "I'm going to assume you didn't look into it. That you don't know. Because if you know, and you brought Meredith Stannard's second in command along anyway, then…" Yasmin didn't finish that sentence, but she backed away from the table hands splayed out in an incomplete gesture and turned around for a moment.
Cassandra didn't know what to say. She looked to Leliana, but her quieter colleague was looking at the table. Cassandra's jaw clenched, she knew Leliana disliked Cullen. But she didn't fight Cassandra too hard on it after she had already gotten Cullen to commit to the Inquisition. "What are you insinuating?" Cassandra asked.
Yasmin turned around and glared at her. There was something dark in her eyes, something that Cassandra had never seen on the face of the teenage Yasmin she knew. For some reason, with so much happening at once, Cassandra didn't properly process that Yasmin's eyes were different until now. They both used to be a deep brown. But now, one of them was changed. It was green with unnatural circles of gold framing her iris. "I'll show you later," Yasmin promised darkly. Before the tension between them could build too much, she continued, "You'll find out eventually, and since those two meddlers already know, they can stay. As the spymaster, you'll just find out later if I don't tell you. And as our chief negotiator and diplomat, you'll need to know as well. Cassandra doesn't need to know, exactly, but she should."
"And Cullen?" Leliana asked. She wasn't asking that he be let in on the secret. It was already clear Yasmin detested
"No. He has no right, nor is it crucial to his job," Yasmin said curtly. "May I have your solemn oaths to never reveal what I'm about to show you?"
"Yes."
"Of course!"
"Yes Ma'am."
"Yes, Herald,"
"You know I would never betray you, right?" Cassandra asks with sadness in her voice.
Yasmin walks around the table to stand in front of the woman who taught her how to fight. "I know, Cassie."
Josephine's eyes go wide with mirth at the nickname, though thankfully she manages not to make a sound.
"Cassandra, do you know what seekers are?" Yasmin starts hesitantly. Cassandra raised an eyebrow in askance.
"Until this war, we were the check on the Templars' power, answering only to the Divine," Cassandra said. It was a phrase she had doubtlessly said many times, and it showed.
"That's what we were supposed to do." Yasmin sighed as she ran her hands through her hair. She got her right hand stuck in a tangle and made a displeased face. But she then paced back and forth for a moment before speaking again. She had everyone's undivided attention. "I don't know the whole truth, just what I experienced. I assume the whole truth lies with Lucius Corin and the Book of Secrets."
"What are you talking about?" Cassandra asked.
"Herald, is this information you should be sharing with us? Isn't it Seeker knowledge?" Lysette asked nervously. Yasmin spared a moment to think on the young Templar's fears.
"There won't be any reprisals Lysette, so long as you keep my secret," Yasmin said. Though she thought about it and said, "Actually, Leliana probably knows something about it already."
"I do?" Leliana asked.
Yasmin nodded, "Years ago, Divine Justinia became fascinated by the Rite of Tranquility, and commissioned a Tranquil called Pharamond to research it in Adamant Fortress, which overlooks the Abyssal Rift. The Veil is paper-thin there." Yasmin took a breath before continuing, "He succeeded."
"Didn't everyone there die?" Cassandra pointed out.
"Yes. Because Tranquil were thought to be unpossessable. So they weren't prepared when he, a Tranquil for many years, was possessed by a Demon and drawn into the Fade. First Enchanter Wynne and couple others were able to save him. But before he could be brought before Justinia, Lord Seeker Lambert had him assassinated, and Wynne's son framed. And everything sort of kicked off from there." Yasmin took a breath.
"Do you know what the Vigil of Seekers is? Like, I know you went through it, but do you know what it actually is?" Yasmin asked.
Cassaandra was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "No. That's. What you're insinuating is impossible," she said weakly.
"Tell me Cassie. Do you dream?" Yasmin asked. Lysette gasped. Charter looked almost sick. Leliana's mask of aloofness slipped for a moment to show shock, and Josephine had tears in her eyes.
They stood in silence as Cassandra and everyone else processed Yasmin's implication. Everybody knew that the only two groups who don't dream were Dwarves and Tranquil. Oh.
Yasmin took off her bandana slowly, letting her dark hair fall into her face. She placed it on the table. Slowly, she raised her head and pulled back her hair.
There were a couple choked gasps. The brand was perhaps a little higher on her head than most, but it was still instantly recognizable. Yasmin's forehead bore the Sunburst brand of the Tranquil.
"But. You have feelings," Josephine pointed out desperately.
"You're right, I do. But there was a time when I just didn't," Yasmin said darkly. "I'm not going to explain to you right now the horror of living in Tranquility is. Perhaps later when I know you all better, and we aren't dead." Yasmin said with a dark smile.
Former Seeker Yasmin looked at Cassandra as she said the next part. "I remember. When my Vigil went wrong. They didn't know what to do with me. I was only supposed to be tranquil for minutes. Instead, after the fourth day, they gave up trying to fix me. The now Lord Seeker Lucius argued I should be killed; that it was both a mercy, and that it would compromise our secrets. And if there wasn't a cure, I'd rather be dead than Tranquil without hope of having my soul returned to me. Ironically, it was Lord Seeker Lambert that saved me with his plan. It would be odd, you see, if there was a Tranquil without a Lyrium brand. So me branded with Lyrium, and shipped me off to the Dairsmuid Circle in Rivain. I looked Rivaini enough that it wouldn't raise any questions if a new Tranquil was transferred there.
They had me researching weapon innovation. Odd. But they knew how good I was before the Rite. So it made sense if my Tranquil self researched something that I was already interested in. I met my best friend there, a beautiful Dwarven girl named Dagna, she was different too." Yasmin paused as she remembered the romantic liaisons she'd had with the tiny genius after she was Tranquil no more.
"But how are you…you?" Cassandra asked. "And how do I not remember being Tranquil if it happened to me?"
Yasmin looked at Cassie and replied with a small smile, "Rivain's Circle was different. They could actually talk to spirits, summon them even. The Rivaini only had a Circle in Dairsmuid to stop the Chantry from proclaiming an Exalted march to 'save the souls of the savages in the north'. Summoning peaceful spirits meant acquiring knowledge, and stories. Making friends even." Cassandra began to look wary.
"I was in Dairsmuid for almost a year. They were all alive then. This was soon after the Blight, less than a couple years. The Hero of Ferelden was still Warden Commander. One day, I was sent into the woods to bring firewood or something. It was some menial chore one of the apprentices made me do because they were lazy.
In the forest, I met her; the spirit, my spirit. Her name is Empathy." Yasmin's voice went from sombre to something approaching reverent, or even romantic. "I was attacked by a great bear that I later found out had gotten out of some eccentric lord's enclosure. Being Tranquil, I had no defence, no survival instincts. I just watched as it lumbered toward me and batted me into a tree several metres away. My chest was…crushed, mostly. Its claws had literally torn my heart asunder. I was dead." Yasmin said softly.
"That's not possible," Charter said. For an unshakable agent of the Nightingale, Charter was looking pretty disturbed.
"Not necessarily so," Leliana said. "There was a great woman I knew. You mentioned her earlier, Wynne. She confided in me once, that she did not in fact survive Uldred's rebellion in the Circle on the shore of Lake Calenhad, when we arrived there with the Warden. She said a spirit of Faith had come to her, resurrected her, and resided inside her. It had been several years by that point," Leliana was uncharacteristically vulnerable as she talked about her deceased friend.
"I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't know her, but from what I knew of her, she must've been someone special," Yasmin said softly. "So, yes. I died. Like Wynne. Though it wasn't a spirit of Faith that found me. Even when I was preparing for the Vigil I always struggled with the religious aspect of it all. Sorry Cassie," Yasmin added with a sad smile.
Cassandra just waved her hand, "You think I did not know about your less than zealous study of the Chant of Light? Please. I know–knew you better than that. I suppose that explains why your eye is odd," Cassandra almost muttered to herself. Yasmin nodded at that.
Cassandra looked like she was seriously struggling to ask her next question. "Are you an abomination?"
"Technically, yes." Yasmin shrugged. "But so was First Enchanter Wynne. Name a more dedicated and loyal mage than her. I'll wait." Cassandra did not rise to the bait, but she shot a look at Leliana, who was looking right back at her reproachfully. "But the point is, when Empathy entered me, she healed my body as best she could. And then she touched my mind, and I was Tranquil no more, and more than that, I rose from that fatal blow with powers unrivalled among the Seeker order. I climbed onto the back of that bear and snapped its neck. Empathy and I have been ah, together ever since. I call her Emma. And she calls me meat suit…but only when I do something really stupid," Yasmin tried and mostly failed to joke.
Cassandra took a few deep breaths before walking slowly around the table to approach Yasmin. Lysette and Charter both instinctively stepped forward, but Yasmin softly gestured them to hold back. She'd talk to them later about that protective reflex because she didn't hate it.
Cassie stood before Yasmin, looking the girl she once knew, had helped mold into a perfect warrior. Yasmin was now an abomination, a disenchanted Seeker, and quite possibly the Herald of Andraste. Yasmin was looking back into her forme mentor's eyes and couldn't help but fidget a little in nervousness. The tension broke when Cassandra encircled her arms around Yasmin and pulled her into a crushing embrace. Yasmin wasn't sure what to do except lightly pat Cassie's back. She shot a confused look at Leliana over Cassie's shoulder, but the spymaster was just smiling at them.
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you went through that. I wasn't there when you needed me to be," Cassandra whispered emotionally.
Yasmin couldn't help but tear up a little at Cassandra's extremely rare burst of compassion. "You couldn't have known. Even if you inquired after me, you would've been led astray by your superiors. Cassie, I really want you to hear me say this, so there's no room for doubt. You're with me every time I pick up a weapon, every time I walk out of a fight, every time I get drunk," Yasmin added with a small laugh, recalling that one time Cassandra took her to a pub for the first time to celebrate the conclusion of her training. "Every time I find myself alright, and alive after picking up a weapon, you're walking there right beside me. So please learn to forgive yourself for things you are in no way responsible for." Yasmin couldn't help the couple tears that fell down her cheeks.
She could see Josephine with her hand over her mouth, clearly living for the drama, but in a good way. She couldn't see Charter or Lysette, but she could hear a solitary sniffle she thought was Charter, though she couldn't be sure.
"Cassie, that was almost ten years ago now. I've been with Emma inside me for as long as I trained with you. And now we all have a sky to fix, so we're going to fucking do it, together this time." Yasmin said with a smile.
Cassandra nodded and took a deep shuddering breath and pulled back. Leliana tilted her head and couldn't help but think it was best they get all the potential trauma out in the open now rather than later. "How did you get that scar on your eye?"
Yasmin looked bewildered for a moment, and then to Leliana's surprise, she smiled. "Oh, this?" Yasmin asked with a smirk, "I lost a sparring match, badly, to Warden Kallian Tabris a couple years ago."
Yasmin's peals of laughter echoed around the room as Leliana's jaw dropped.