'It's a Wonderful Life' at JAG
Chapter 3
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any of the rights to the movie or story, 'It's a Wonderful Life.' Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: The focus this time will be on episodes in Seasons 4 and 5. Specifically, the episodes are; 'Angels 30,' 'Yeah, Baby,' 'Goodbyes,' 'Rules of Engagement,' 'True Callings' and 'The Return'. There will also be a small reference to 'Into the Breech.'
A/N: Keep in mind that things will not happen in the same sequence as they did on JAG or have exactly the same consequences. I'm trying to touch on as much as I can to make the story familiar. Mic, Renee and Jordan are mentioned, but do not have the same level of importance in either of the lives of our DD, as they did in the show.
A/N: Remember too that this is AU, proceed with caution. (Smile)
Rating K+
In the heavens above Northern Virginia…
XO Gabriel continued with the story of Harmon Rabb Jr. Lieutenant Clarence listened as if his wings depended on it, because they did.
1436
Wednesday
November, 03, 1998
USS Coral Sea
Mac walked with Harm and Commander Rice out onto the flight deck.
The skipper had given Harm permission to go up with the Commander so that they could duplicate his mission. Commander Rice was convinced that he should resign because of the 'voices' he heard that kept him from performing his duty. His failure to engage had nearly gotten him and his RIO killed. Resigning and turning in his wings was no answer, as far as Harm was concerned. There had to be a logical explanation for what happened.
Mac stopped after taking a few steps, as Harm and Commander Rice walked toward the F-14's. She called out to him, teasing, "Be sure you're back before the street lights come on, young man."
He turned back to look at her, "Yes, Mom." He smiled at her, but then turned his attention to the flight deck.
It was amazing, but as Mac looked at him, it was as though she were watching him step into another world, one in which she had no place. She had flown with him in the Stearman and in a MIG while they were in Russia, but this was something different, entirely. Seeing him like this, on a carrier, in a flight suit, walking across the deck like it was something he did every day of his life, made her see a hard reality. This was where he really wanted to be, his night blindness was the only thing that kept him at JAG.
As he climbed into the F-14's cockpit, he turned back to look at Mac for a moment. His face was an open book. Mac felt her heartbeat accelerate, he was perfect, and he looked like a recruiting poster. He had the look of someone happily doing what he was born to do. She knew he felt it too, no words were necessary. She waved and mouthed 'good luck.' He nodded and slipped into his seat, returning his mind completely to the task at hand.
Mac knew she was already investing too much of her heart. She had no reason to think Harm saw her as anything more than a friend. There was no denying it; she was a friend….a friend who was falling hopelessly, helplessly, in love with him.
"Did he return to the squadron….did he marry the girl?" Lieutenant Clarence was still asking questions.
XO Gabriel nodded toward the pictures that continued to move across the opening in the clouds. "Time is growing short Clarence, watch closely."
1235
Tuesday
May 18, 1999
JAG Headquarters
Admiral Chegwidden's office
"Change your designator?" Admiral Chegwidden's brow furrowed when he looked at Harm's formal request.
"Yes…sir." Harm had dreaded this, almost more than any aspect of his separation from JAG. He knew the Admiral had invested a lot in his career here at JAG. Harm believed he saw him as someone who might one day step into the position of Judge Advocate General. There were times Harm believed he would too.
"This is a setback for your career, you know that don't you?"
"Permission to speak freely sir?"
"You may."
"Sir, I joined the Navy to be an aviator, it's what I wanted and now since having the laser ablation on my eyes. I can return to it. I don't see how anyone who has ever been out in the fleet could stand to be chained to a desk for the rest of their career." He meant to soften the blow, but only managed to make things worse.
The Admiral gave him a direct look, and Harm realized that he had just placed his foot squarely in his mouth.
"Sir, I didn't mean…"
"I know what you meant, Commander; I just want you to be sure you understand what you're giving up."
"Sir, I love the law, but I want a chance to return to what I wanted to do in the first place. I want to make a difference…"
"We are making a difference here, Commander, though it may not be as glamorous as flying an F-14."
"I know that, sir. I have the utmost respect for you and what we do here…but," this was not going as he had planned.
"Very well, I'll take it under advisement." The Admiral understood, and he knew Harm well enough to know that this was only going to get worse.
"Sir, I"
"Dismissed."
Harm came to attention and turned and left the room.
1425
Tuesday
May 25, 1999
JAG Headquarters
Harm and Mac stood facing each other in his office, he was leaving JAG, leaving her and Mac could hardly believe it. Everything happened so fast. One moment he was telling her about how well the laser ablation worked on his eyes and the next he was on his way to Oceana, to await his assignment to a squadron. She barely had time to absorb his decision to leave JAG.
She tried to keep the conversation light, but the tears were rolling down her cheeks anyway. He looked as though he didn't know, until that moment, what he meant to her.
When she asked if he was going to say goodbye he had asked, "Why goodbye, and not good luck." She reminded him that he had said the same to her when she had been stupid enough to leave JAG. She emphasized 'stupid' but she didn't think he noticed.
"That was different, you were in love."
"And you're not?" Mac wasn't completely sure who she was asking about now, Jordan, or herself. What puzzled her was that she felt as though she were losing so much more than Jordan.
Harm was her best friend; there was no one she trusted more, she knew he felt the same way about her…. that was why this was so hard.
When he answered, "What does love have to do with anything, anyway…?"
Harm, for his part, hadn't prepared himself for this. Jordan's reaction had been hard to take, but Mac's tears…they were another matter. What did all this mean?
The looks exchanged between them, told them that they were more than friends, but it was as Mac said, they couldn't find the words.
They embraced for a moment and parted. She did finally wish him good luck and left the room.
Harm watched her leave as he put the last of his things in a cardboard box. He felt a pang of regret, but he pushed it away. He was going, that was all there was to it. This was his chance, to get back out into the world. Being out in the fleet, centered him in a way nothing else could, it connected him to his father and his grandfather. He had always felt that flying, and serving his country were part of his heritage. When he lost that, he lost his connection to what made him who he was. He wanted that back.
Mac said she would stay in touch, he hoped she would. He hadn't wanted to lose the relationship he had with Jordan, though it was far from a permanent one. He could weather that.
Leaving today had made thing one thing very clear to him, he never wanted to lose Mac.
1245
Tuesday
October, 5, 1999
USS Patrick Henry
In the Adriatic Sea
Harm stood in the passageway, punching in his mother's phone number. He had some news, news he knew she'd be relieved to hear.
"Mom?"
"Darling, how are you?" She hadn't spoken with him in more than two months.
"Fine, I just wanted to let you know, I'll be going back to JAG, probably next week."
"What?" His mother was secretly delighted, though she hadn't voiced an opinion about it.
"Why the change? What happened?'
"Things are fine here, I'm doing well, but after talking with the CAG, my chances for advancement are pretty slim. He left it up to me, and I chose to go back. I'm lucky that my old slot is still open at JAG."
"Are you going to be okay with this, honey?" It seemed that her peace of mind and his happiness were always at odds.
"I'm fine, Mom" His mother heard the disappointment in his voice, though he seemed to be trying hard to cover it.
"You did do a fine job at JAG, Harm. I'm sure everyone will be glad to have you back."
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"How is Mac, anyway?" Trish was of the opinion that she was 'the' one for Harm.
"Fine, I guess." Trish could hear the smile in his voice.
"Quite the girl isn't she?"
"Yes, I suppose she is." His mother was 'fishing' again.
"The kind who would help you find the answers, son."
"Mac is probably going out with one of the other attorneys at JAG, Mom. We're just friends….. Don't start Mom." He grinned as he said it. Ever since he turned 30, his mother had made it her mission to convince him that he should be married and provide her with grandchildren.
"You may be just friends Harm, but you've told me more about Sarah Mackenzie than you have about any other woman you have ever dated. I feel as though I know her and I've never met her. There has to be a reason for that, son."
"Yeah…okay….. Mom, I really have to go, other people are waiting for the phone. I'll call you when I get back to DC, okay?"
Trish Burnett smiled, knowing she had made her point, and he was evading her question.
"Alright, talk to you then, love you son."
"You too, bye." Harm replaced the handset on the unit on the wall and walked back down the empty passageway, to his quarters.
He thought about e mailing Mac, but in the end, decided not to. She had been friendly when he saw her last week and she seemed genuinely glad to see him, but something was different. She hadn't even told him about her promotion. He had been so glad to see her, but she seemed distant, and Brumby's irritating presence didn't help. Brumby made it clear from the beginning, when he first came to JAG, that he was going after Mac. She hadn't seemed interested then, but now, he wasn't sure.
1625
Friday
October 8, 1999
Office of the Secretary of the Navy
Lieutenant Commander Teddy Lindsey sat in front of the desk of his boss, Secretary Nelson. He had just spoken with the commanding officer aboard the Patrick Henry, it seemed he had spoken with the CAG and he had, in turn, talked with Commander Rabb.
The SecNav had 'suggested,' not ordered, that it be made clear to the Commander what his career options were. The CAG had reportedly been reluctant, Rabb's leadership skills, and his 'cool head' under fire, made him valuable to him. However, his commanding officer convinced him it would be better for Rabb to go back to JAG.
Ignoring a 'suggestion' from the SecNav wasn't a good career move, for anyone.
"Your input was appreciated on this, Commander. I think Commander Rabb will be put to better use at JAG. It would be foolish to waste his talent in a career that will, in the end, be a dead end for him.
"I'm glad to have been of help sir." Teddy Lindsey had been glad when he heard that Commander Rabb had left JAG. He hoped it would open another slot for him, but the Admiral had made it clear, very diplomatically, that he wasn't needed on his staff.
When he heard about Rabb's nomination for yet another DFC, his resentment of him grew. The Navy's golden boy at JAG was proving to be the same in the air. He couldn't stand to hear him praised to the skies. Everything seemed too easy, Rabb only got into the Academy because of his family connections. Rabb never did anything by the book in his life, and all he seemed to get were accolades. He could just cool his heels back at JAG. Lindsey thought that if he wasn't going to realize his dream at JAG, Rabb wasn't going to have his come true either.
Lindsey's convoluted reasoning made him believe that Commander Rabb was the reason he had lost the confidence of Admiral Chegwidden. He intended to make him pay for that. His input, emphasizing nothing but the 'best interests of the Navy'' to the SecNav that Rabb might be an asset to JAG may have looked like a compliment, but it had not been.
He wanted to take from Commander Rabb something that meant everything to him… flying. He couldn't keep him out of any privately owned aircraft, but he would not be flying for the Navy anymore.
1545
Friday
October 15, 1999
JAG Headquarters
Harm was finishing his first week back a JAG and it had been hellacious. He barely had time to get his bearings when the Admiral blindsided him with a high profile case. He expected to be saddled with case reviews and busy work, as Mac was when she returned from her brief hiatus from JAG. No such luck, his first case had him in conflict with everyone in sight, the Admiral, the Secretary of the Navy, Brumby, his client, Lieutenant Nelson and Nelsons CO, Commander Burk. Worse yet, he fought with Mac, the Admiral's newly appointed Chief of Staff about how he was trying the case.
The SecNav's son, Lieutenant Brian Nelson, who was accused of disobeying a direct order, refused one concession after another from his CO and trial counsel. The lieutenant could have returned to duty, without a mark on his record, but his wounded pride and old resentments against his own father, kept him from seeing his own fault in the matter.
Harm stood leaning against the counter in the break room, still deep in thought. Lieutenant Bud Roberts entered the room, with someone who wanted to meet him.
"Commander Rabb, this is Renee Petersen, she's directing a recruiting commercial. She asked to meet you."
Harm pushed off of the counter and stood straight. He offered her his hand. "Ms Petersen."
"Call me Renee." She looked at him admiringly; this was definitely someone she wanted to get to know.
"Harm" She was a beautiful woman, but just a bit over the top for him.
"I'd really like to talk with you, you know, get some perspective on the more exciting side of Navy life. What I've been able to see from this side of things, is…well, pretty boring." She laughed nervously, and just a bit too loudly.
Harm smiled, "That'd be great..."
Renee saw an opening and took a step away from Bud, toward Harm, one step to close for Harm's comfort. "Great, how about dinner? I'm staying at the Willard."
"Uh, well…I'll...uh, get back with you on that." Harm side stepped and backed away from her
Bud couldn't hide his amusement at Harm's hasty retreat; this lady was a barracuda, no doubt about that.
Harm made his way back into the bullpen and looked at Mac's office, with its closed door. Her blinds were closed, but he could see the light from her desk lamp. He wanted to talk to her, see her alone for just a moment, but where to begin? Everything seemed so awkward between them now.
Harm walked over to the copier and looked again at her closed blinds. He walked over to the bookcase, pretending to scan the books nearest her door. He could knock on her door; make up something, about a case…anything. Looking over his shoulder toward the break room, he thought, he sure as hell needed to be somewhere before Renee Petersen came out of the break room. Making the decision to do this later, he started to turn toward his office, when Mac opened her door.
"Hey." Her expression was still unreadable as it had been since he first came back to JAG, a week ago.
"Hey" He answered her, not quite meeting her eyes.
Mac's desk phone rang. She turned to pick it up. "Colonel Mackenzie"
It was Jack Keeter. "Hey, how's my best girl?"
'Hello Jack, how are you?" Mac couldn't keep the smile from her face. He reminded her of better times, times when she and Harm were close.
The look on her face reminded Harm of the Mac he knew, the sweetness he saw now, was what he remembered when he had missed her, all these months. He had always felt that this side of her was something she allowed only a few people to see. Now, he knew that it meant everything to him, that she trusted him enough to allow him a glimpse, of this side of her.
"Is Harm anywhere around? I can't get him in his office." Jack was sounding a bit frustrated.
"Yes, he's right here."
Mac looked at Harm, her eyes still sparkling with humor and delight. "You've got a call in here."
Harm acknowledged her, questioning, trying to keep his expression neutral, he had heard her speaking, at least Jack was someone they had in common. Hopefully something they could talk about without arguing.
"Yes, its Jack Keeter, he's been trying to reach you." As she stood at her desk, the smile began to leave her and she looked unsure whether Harm would come into her office or not. To say things had been tense between them would be an understatement.
Harm walked in, closing her office door behind him.
"I've got him right here Jack."
"Put us on speaker phone, I want you to hear this too."
Mac looked toward the closed door of her office. "I don't think I should, Harriet is listening."
Harriet, who had been watching all this unfold with amusement, was in fact, just outside Mac's door at the copier. She drew in a breath sharply and scurried back to her desk. She didn't realize she was that obvious.
Mac had the phone to her ear, then she pulled it slightly away, "Here, Harm…we can both listen."
Harm stood closer to her, his awareness of her flooding all of his senses, determined to keep them under control, he leaned down, just close enough to hear Jack. "Hey, Harm, are ya sitting down?"
"What?" Harm was close enough to Mac, to take in the scent of her perfume, making concentration nearly impossible. He had missed her so much and though he had buried much of his attraction for her, being this close to her was making that more difficult to hide by the minute.
He looked down into Mac's eyes as he listened to Jack, "Hey, I'm thinking of getting out of Company business and starting a business of my own. Rabb and Keeter aviation…whaddya think?"
"Rabb and Keeter Aviation?" Harm repeated as Mac turned to look at him more fully, completely drawn into his gaze. There were two conversations going on here. The one they were having with Jack and the silent one full of strong attraction, love, and questions neither of them had the words to answer. Mac looked away for a moment brushing the top of her head against his chin, her soft hair brushing against his lips.
He straightened his neck abruptly, trying to get his mind on what Jack was saying. Mac looked up at him, the questions still there, but he couldn't answer. He could only look down at her lips and involuntarily began to lean down, with his lips just inches from hers.
"Rabb, are you still there?" Jacks voice brought reality back for a moment.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here." Harm turned away, frowning, trying, once again to regain control.
"Do you have any money?
"Money? Yeah, well…a little"
"Great, I'll be coming into DC later next week, we'll talk about it."
"I don't know Jack." He didn't even remember what he was talking about.
"Oh come on man, are you going to be chained to a desk the rest of your career? You're only half alive if you're not flying, and you know it. Tell him Mac; tell him it's the chance of a lifetime."
Mac turned to Harm again. "He….says it's a chance of a …lifetime."
Harm looked down into her face, her beautiful eyes drawing him in closer. They were at work, they were in uniform, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to walk away from her this time. He was losing control and suddenly, it was making him mad as hell. He didn't want to be anchored to a desk or a business, he didn't want to be anchored to anyone or anything but here he was.
He didn't want to return to JAG but, deep down, he knew he had no choice, he didn't want to give in to what he felt for Mac, but he couldn't help himself. He took her by both of her arms, gripping tightly, causing Mac to drop the phone's handset on the floor.
"Now you listen to me, I don't want to go in any business, I don't want to leave the Navy, I don't care how much money I'll make, and I don't want to get married to anyone…EVER."
Mac was so stunned by his sudden reaction that she didn't react at first, but when he said he didn't want to marry anyone, ever, it hurt, making her eyes sting with tears. Why was he so angry with her? She had tried to distance herself, so that whatever he decided to do wouldn't hurt her, but it hadn't worked. Mac still loved him and whatever he said or did meant everything to her.
Tears ran down Mac's cheeks, unchecked, all she could do was shake her head and breathe his name over and over, "Harm…Harm" her eyes, pleading with him to allow himself to love her as much as she loved him.
Harm's anger left him as quickly as it had come, when he immediately saw how much he was hurting her.
"Mac, I'm so…" He pulled her into an embrace. "I'm sorry….I didn't mean to …I just, I don't…" He was reacting and not thinking when he began to kiss her cheeks as he spoke, trying to soothe the hurt he knew he was responsible for. She reached up with one hand to touch his face, her own apology in her eyes, and he stopped and spoke her name. "Mac…"
She had known it and then denied it, then hoped it, and prayed it over and over. He loved her; she could see it in his eyes.
It was, for moment, as though they were the only two people in the world. He kissed her then, passionately, with all the love he had hidden in his heart. She slipped her arms around his neck, accepting it as he drew her tightly to him.
'Oh God,' he thought, 'I'm finally home.' He had lost a lot in his life, but what he was feeling right now just might make it all worth while.
The phone's handset still lay on the floor. Jack's voice could be heard, but barely. "I'll take that as a 'No.'"
A slightly embarrassed Lieutenant Clarence rocked on his heels and looked away. "Wedding bells…huh?"
XO Gabriel cleared his throat. "Uh…yes, they were married."
TBC
A/N: Just a note to remind you all that this is AU. The story line parallels are more loosely held in this story than with Notorious, but they are there.
I'll try and do some clarification.
George Bailey's dream of leaving Bedford Falls
Harm's dream of returning to flying, and leaving Falls Church.
George/Harm's connection to their fathers
George/Harm's mother wanting to get them married, to the 'kind of girl that will help you find the answers' (wink wink)
Mary/Mac's strong love and admiration for George/Harm
George/Harm's obliviousness to it.
Mac/Mary's frustration with Harm/George's evasiveness, when it comes to his feelings for her.
George/Harm's struggle with anything that would make him 'settle down.' Also that overriding feeling of things that he could have accomplished… if only.
I had Harm and the Admiral have the conversation that George and his father had about getting back out to the fleet/ getting out of Bedford Falls. I didn't kill AJ off, I refuse, I want to try and keep this light. 'Notorious' and '24'just about KILLED ME.
Once again, the parallels won't be exact, but I hope you all will see where I'm going. Stay with me, folks, I know where I'm going. No….really. (Smile)