A/N: Let's get right to the story! Author's notes are so dry and dull.
Many thanks to my friend and Beta, Neo-chan. You're the awesomist! And also one of the only people who can be described using a word that doesn't exist, lol. Also thanks to Tysonfoxflame! I love you two huggles girlfriends /end sappy girlishness
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon…
Warnings: Same as last chapter.
Grey Matter
Chapter 2: Just a Walk to Clear My Mind
By: CrimsonAnjel
My head was spinning, vision blurred, as I looked up again. Before the walls, ceiling, shapes or sizes could even come into focus I saw his face first.
He looked terrified.
Then, as the rest of the room came back into focus, I saw too many things I wasn't ready to see. Matt was bent over the toilet seat with his pants and boxers to the floor; his eyeliner was bleeding a line of black down his face. Surrounding him were three Seniors, one of which I knew and hated, holding him against the toilet with his arms locked behind his back. If I couldn't tell by Matt's position, then the fact that one of the boy's pants was halfway down completely brought home what was happening.
As soon as it clicked in my brain, I couldn't stop. "You fuckers!"
I bolted upright and in a sudden rage clocked the first boy in the cheek as hard as I could. He fell into his friend, crying out in pain and third boy, unaffected, aimed a kick that painfully connected with my side.
"Tai!" As I fell Matt had the brains to lurch forward and catch my back with his own, shoving me back up. I fell right into the first boy who promptly landed a knee into my stomach, cursing, only inches away from my first injury. I didn't remember yelling so loud, but only seconds later I heard the blaring metal music stop. I paid no attention to it. I had to protect Matt. Those bastards were in for it.
Ignoring the pain I angrily threw another punch which effectively hit the first boy in the same spot on his bruised cheek. He tripped on someone's leg and fell to the floor, almost tripping the other two boys huddled in the corner of the bathroom with him. The third boy came at me again with his huge fist but instead of connecting with my face it hit--Matt. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Matt jump up and take the punch; I'd have to kill him later for doing that but I took advantage of the opportunity it gave me and threw my weight into the asshole, crashing him against the toilet seat painfully. He still had a chance to left hook me in the jaw before falling into the growing heap on the floor underneath the other two. He hadn't had time yet to pull up his pants.
I was about to jump on them again, but instead I felt a pair of arms lock around mine and pull me back. People were yelling, Matt was catatonic and leaning for balance against the sink, Sora was suddenly there. Was the fight over?
"TAI! Tai what the fuck is going--oh dear god, Matt!" She glanced at the three boys slowly getting up from the floor. "Fuck. What happened!" I made to attack them again but the arms had me in a half-nelson that I wasn't about to break free from. So I did the logical thing and tried to kick the bastards, only to have the pair of arms tear me back a few feet again. My eye caught the mirror as I was being pulled away and I noticed who exactly was holding me.
"Dais! Le' go of me! Geroff!" I slurred, still in a mad rage. "Those FUCKING ASSHOLES tried to rape my friend now get the hell off me before I kick your ass too!"
A few other people were poking their heads in to see why the music stopped and luckily the only other people in the bathroom now were my friends. Daisuke, Sora, TK and Mimi were all standing at the entrance looking almost as angry as I was.
Matt looked at them and bolted. His pants were up and suddenly he was gone. And surprisingly, everyone let him leave. I was furious.
I shook violently and eventually broke free from Daisuke's grip, leaving them to kill the three jocks as I tore after Matt. The alcohol was now beating painfully into my skull and I was the center of attention in the house as I sprinted around plastic cups and chips and arms and hands of party-goers. I had to find him now. I ran and ran, yelling his name frantically as a million eyes bore into my already pounding head.
Lots of outstretched hands tried to stop me but I broke free, uncaring of who they were, running around the house at top speed. He wasn't in any of the rooms and I was starting to feel stupid for thinking he'd still be around after a thing like that. I shook my head habitually to clear some of the haziness as I grabbed my coat and busted through the front door. I passed by the porch-goers and the lawn drunks and tore down the street in the direction of his house.
After pounding on his door at whatever hour it was, his mom groggily swung it open and yelled a few words at me; I really didn't care.
"Where's Matt?" I cut in rudely.
"Matt? Huh?" She then realized what I had asked. "Where IS Matt, Tai! And why are you pounding on my door like a madma--"
"Look, I don't know," I cut in once more. "But is he seriously not home?" She looked at me slowly as if to say "I thought he was with you?"
"Taichi Yagami are you telling me that at 1:00 AM you do NOT know where my son is!"
"I… yes. But I'm going to find him now…" I trailed off awkwardly as her angry, icy blue eyes bore into my skull, adding to the already mounting headache.
Before she could yell the words forming in her mouth I turned and ran for the second time that night. I didn't have time for pointless conversations and this one was going to butt-fucking Egypt. If she called the cops, fine. Matt was still the first priority.
Unfortunately, now I had no clue where he was. So I did the only thing I could think of to do: I walked around aimlessly. Every few minutes I yelled out his name, soon half-heartedly. I didn't expect any response but it was better than just walking.
After about thirty minutes of walking, a million outcomes started getting caught in my head. What if more drunken jocks already found him? What if he's in trouble or crying or… cold? Every little thing that could happen was playing out on my mind, scaring the shit out of me as I kept trudging on. It seemed like every time I called out his name my voice was a little softer. But then I came to the 2nd street park and called his name again, albeit a little hopelessly. It was probably more out of frustration than actually hoping I'd find him on the swings or play set, but seconds afterwards I heard a soft reply from underneath the jungle gyms.
"…what."
"Matt!" I yelled again, caught totally off-guard.
"Yes, and I said 'what'. You've now mastered the English language. Congrats."
"Matt! You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled hoarsely as I shot to his resting place. He didn't seem amused and didn't respond at all. "I'm serious! Dude, I've been looking all over for you… Are you okay?" I asked, my tone shifting down to a whisper.
"No."
"And?"
"And get the fuck away?" I shot up an eyebrow.
"Look, I'm so sorry about what happened… I don't even comprehend it yet. Just don't do that--I hate it when you get like that. I mean… what do you want from me?"
"What do I want? Did you seriously just ask what I want? Ok, here's what I want Tai. How about a friend who doesn't throw me into hell just so he can rescue me like some big fucking knight? That's sounds pretty fucking good to me." I blinked. "What? You think you're some hero just because you saved me from getting raped after YOU convinced me to go!" I looked at him in astonishment. He didn't continue.
"Look, I'm sorr--"
"Get. Lost."
I couldn't argue. I couldn't even say another word. So I left him, as simple as that. All the stupid worries and fears washed away and I realized:
'He knows his way home.'
--
Accompanying my mood the following morning was an overcast sky. I vaguely remembered it had started to rain as I fell asleep the night before and there was a lot of fog on the streets when I went to find Matt. I groaned; the shutters were left open because I forgot to shut them and the muted light hit my eyes as I rolled over.
"Damnit," I cursed loudly as I dropped out of bed (originally attempting to step out for once). Kari, not missing a beat, walked in and snorted unkindly when she saw me half on the ground with sheets tangled around my legs.
"So," tapped her fingers on the doorknob, "you're clumsy and lazy and probably hungry," she assessed with a smug expression. "Am I correct?"
"Yeah," I groused, "Except the first two." I threw a stray shirt at her, hopefully a dirty one. "Whaddya want?"
"Oh, uh, mom wants to ask you something. You know how it is." I rolled my eyes and asked the poster tacked onto my ceiling why me? One of the Beastie Boys smiled back down at me.
"God damnit…"
"Yeah, yeah. Just get dressed lazy boy." She threw the shirt back, landing it on my head. "I'm sure it's just a chore or something." I nodded from under the orange tee and kicked the door shut in her face. The alarm clock read 12:30 with a red smile before the shirt landed on it, blocking out the digits.
In the amount of time it took me to change my boxers and pull up my pants, I was already beginning to feel like shit. I didn't have to guess twice to know it had everything to do with last night, and the feeling grew steadily as I made it down the hallway to the living room. Instead of being in the kitchen--like the quintessential mother--my mom was usually perched at the couch reading or watching soaps. She was in her favorite spot when I entered the room.
"Yeah, mom?" I asked in passing towards the fridge. It was always a good idea to have an escape route planned just in case she asked her fatal first question.
"Tai honey, can you do me a favor?" But she liked to ask it anyway.
I paused with an audible sigh. "Maybe?"
"Don't say maybe. If you're going to do me a favor say yes or no."
"Can I say no then?"
"Of course not." 'Of course not,' I thought, repeating her sentence dryly. "I just want you to take out the trash and tidy up the kitchen before you go do whatever it is you do on Saturdays."
"You only ask me to do this shit because you're terrible at anything to do with a kitchen," I grumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Bye, mom." She waved her hand absently with a middle finger to boot, having already turned back on her favorite soap.
I ate a little bit but I didn't even get through half a bowl of bowl of rice crispies before feeling like I wanted to snap crackle and pop them back up. The feeling just kept growing; it wasn't a stomach ache or a headache… I just felt like crap. I did the chores assigned to me as fast as possible, grabbed my hoodie, waved goodbye to Kari and slammed shut the back door. I needed to take a walk and clear my head a bit.
Matt and I fought a lot, but it was always over stupid things; the small battles never lasted and even if he was usually short-tempered, he was never that short; and almost always he'd get over it in a few minutes. The only time he ever held a grudge against me was in 6th grade when I punched out his friend for "no reason!" He figured out without me telling him a few weeks later that the kid was making fun of him as soon as he left every day.
I passed by a few houses and then the park; everything looked simple in the grey light so my eyes wandered to the ground and stayed there until the sidewalk ended. I found myself standing at an intersection about a mile away from my house. Shaking my head slightly, not realizing I'd made it this far, I trudged the rest of the way over to the city's favorite little corner store, Ralph's.
"Hey, Ralph," I greeted as I stepped in. He was an old, kindly little man who worked there every day of his life. He never forgot a name either.
"Hello there, Tai. You wanna try this new fudge I'm whippin' up?" I smiled and said yes, making small talk with him until the piece of fudge disappeared. Then, he said something that really caught my attention.
"So your friend Matt came in this morning. Poor kid looked half dead t'me."
"He did?"
"Yep. He didn't say much, but I'm guessin' something's up, huh?"
"…I guess so." I didn't really want to elaborate. The rest of that conversation was more personal, so I left it unsaid. He understood. "Well, I'll see you around, Ralph. Thanks for the fudge."
"No problem! Here, take some back to your mom. If I remember correctly rocky road is her favorite?"
"You always remember," I agreed, throwing a last goodbye over my shoulder. I wanted to get away from his all-knowing gaze as soon as I could because now the feeling was even worse, having heard that Matt looked like shit from an almost-stranger. With that information dancing in my head now, I couldn't ignore it anymore; I had to see him.
I ran to his house, which was a dumb idea since my mom could easily give me a ride, plus the fact that it was another mile away in 50 degree, windy weather. But my brain was on one track and my body didn't too many complaints about running—I was in shape after all.
No lights were on when I began knocking on the door and as expected no one answered immediately. His dad went to work really early and came home really late and TK was never home--Dais made sure of that. Luckily after waiting a few minutes I heard steps coming to the entrance-way.
"What?" Matt called from the other side of the door in his natural Matt-fashion.
"Can we talk? ...With the door open?" There was a pause.
"No." I fumed up quickly, annoyed that he'd just close up for almost no reason.
"What the fuck, Matt? You're fine! It's not like you got fucking raped or anything. You're just fine, now get out here and talk to me!"
The door flew open and crashed into the wall with a shudder. Standing before me was the scariest, angriest Matt I had ever seen.
"I'm fine?" he asked in a dangerously low tone. "No, Taichi, I am not fine. In fact, I'm far from fine; I'd even go as far as to say that I'm NOT okay at all. I don't even know what to say to you right now," he said sharply, never lowering or raising his tone.
"Just say that we can talk." He paused again, probably holding back the will to hit me. When he spoke again, his voice was darker than ever before.
"I want you to look at something and then I want you to leave." He walked right up to me and lifted his black shirt. As he did a field of bruises was slowly revealed, ranging from his hips and lower back all the way to his chest. There were too many of them to count.
"Goodbye." He stepped back and slammed the door as I stared on, catatonic. I heard him fall back against it on the other side, sliding to a sitting position on the ground only a few feet and some inches of wood away from me.
I couldn't believe it.
'I didn't save him at all… He got hurt because of me and I was stupid enough to yell at him for it. It really was all my fault…'
A soft yet still dangerous sentence made its way through the door again. "Why aren't you gone yet?"
I looked at the locked door, with its color dulled by the grey sky, and ran cold fingers through my hair. I couldn't move at all. So I sat there, creeping up against the other side of the door and just… shut up.
We sat like that for some time, hearing the occasional creak of the door as one or another moved or shifted position. I thought about his bruises, about how they must be hurting against the door. So I said the only word that could get his attention.
"Matt…"
No response.
"I didn't mean it, Matt," I tried again. "I wasn't thinking when I said that, or when I took you to that party. It's my fault… it really is."
"Yes." He stood up, "It is," and walked away.
--
Well, this chapter is unusually short. I liked where it ended though and I wanted to get it out as fast as possible because I only just realized a week ago how badly I've been neglecting my fanfics. I apologize if anyone was waiting impatiently. I completely understand your frustration towards authors who don't update.
I hope you review and I'll have the next chapter out really soon! Hopefully before Winter Break ends…
Love and hugs and such
-CA