Disclaimer: Hmmm, I think I am supposed to be saying something here, but gosh darn it! I've forgotten! (Crowd of angry pitchfork-bearing lawyers file in room, headed by J.K. Rowling) Wait! I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! I DON'T OWN IT! I DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T OWN IT, NOW GO AWAY! (they leave) Whew.

Chapter 1: The Group and the Car

Ginny came sprinting over to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Hey guys, what's up?" Spying the letter, she cried, "Ooooh, who's in your group? I don't know mine yet." She grabbed the parchment from Harry. Upon looking at it, her face turned bright. "Oh cool! I'm with you guys! Wait…" She read further down the letter. "I see. Well. We're in luck, aren't we? We've got Snape AND Malfoy. I'M CURSED!"

Ron looked irritated. "Ginny, why the hell are we doing this project?"

Ginny looked at him. "You don't know? Dumbledore, apparently, came across a few students torturing some poor Muggle over the summer. He wants us to be potential allies with Muggles in this war with Voldemort. So, he wants us to know how to live and work with Muggles and ordered a full-school Muggle lock-down. Weird, huh?"

Harry muttered, "Fat chance that I will ever ally 'Dudders'!"

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "He's um, a little eccentric."

Harry thought eccentric didn't even cover it, but kept this to himself. Very, very strange, bizarre, you name it. Hermione's next statement brought him back down to earth. "Hurry up! I think we're leaving in half an hour! We've got to find Snape and Malfoy!"

Harry groaned inwardly. I never thought I'd see the day when we were going to be looking for Malfoy. I cannot wait until this stupid thing is over.

Ron's thoughts were a little more colorful (whenever something slightly inappropriate comes up, you shall see stars)

I can't believe that we are actually looking for the who is so full of ! Ow! Oh , I hate that door!!!!!!!

They ran to a long, wooden box labeled WANDS and dropped theirs in. Well, except Ginny, who had forgotten.

The group saw Snape and Malfoy standing at the side of the doors.

"Well, let's get this thing over with, shall we. Granger, Potty, Weaselette, and Weasel-bee? Fun, fun." drawled Malfoy, with an annoyed look on his pale, pointed face.

Hermione spoke up. "Professor, are we going soon?"

"In a minute, Miss Granger. I must go and collect the appropriate necessities we may need. And um, use the little teacher's room." He stalked off.

Ginny rounded on Malfoy. "Alright, Blondie, you'd better behave, or, you'll be one dead duck, get me?"

"Shut it, Weaselette! You wait till my father hears about you. Come to that, wait till my father hears about this idiot, Dumbledore, forcing us to live like Muggles, dress like Muggles. Eww. I'll have to stay in the shower for three days, just to get the stink off." He glared meaningfully at Hermione.

Ginny looked furious. Harry heard her mutter something and saw her surreptitiously point her wand at Malfoy, while he glanced in the other direction, waiting to see if Snape had returned. Something white swished by Harry's side and the next second… Malfoy's platinum blond hair was… pastel pink.

Ron began to turn bright red and looked as if suppressing severe laughter was difficult work. Malfoy, evidently, had not noticed anything odd, because he was humming to himself, quietly. Hermione took one look at Malfoy's hair and giggled shrilly. Malfoy frowned at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," she gasped.

"You laughed." Malfoy insisted with a frown on his face.

"Did not."

"Did so."

Hermione gasped again after she watched Malfoy's hair turn violet and magenta then back to pastel pink.

"What, is it me?" asked the ever vain Malfoy.

"No."

"It is!"

"It's not!"

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not!"

Snape arrived at that point, breaking up the argument. He raised his eyebrows at Malfoy's new style and muttered, "Kids these days." Turning to the teenagers, he asked, "Are we ready to go yet?"

"One sec," said Ginny. "Got to return the wand." She ran off. A few minutes later, she returned and Snape growled, "Now?"

"Yes," they all chorused.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Exactly how are we getting there? I don't think we're allowed to use magic, and Surrey is quite a distance from here, I should think."

"Car, Miss Granger. It is a tin box on wheels that Muggles use to go places, Draco," answering the question in Malfoy's confused-looking face. "It is also extremely harmful to the environment, but Muggles seem to enjoy it."

"Oh yeah, I remember Father mentioning those…"

Hermione's eyes got very wide. She had a bad feeling she knew the answer to this one, but asked Snape anyway: "Err, who's driving?"

"Me."

OH DEAR LORD, thought the entire group, plus Malfoy, who really did show some concern. "Do you know how to drive, Professor?"

"Of course not! Do I look like a Muggle? But really, how difficult could it be?"

They all walked out to a shiny, red Mercedes Benz (A/N: just for you, Myrtle).

Snape examined it. "See? Not difficult at all. Wheel, brakes, pedals, metal poles on the glass…"

"Windshield wipers, Professor."

"Oh, yes."

There was just one little problem however, which Malfoy, shaking his rosy locks, spotted. "It seats four. Can you enlarge it?"

Snape looked annoyed. "No magic. We'll just have to squeeze in. Not too difficult, I hope."

2 minutes later

"Ow Ginny! My leg!"

"Sorry, Ron, there's just not enough room."

"TOO BAD!"

"Hey, move your rear onto THAT side!"

10 minutes later

"Okay, Professor, get in the driver's seat. Ron, get in the front. Harry, back seat with me and Ginny. Ginny, you can sit on my lap."

"Okay, Hermione."

"WHAT ABOUT ME!"

"Oh, right, forgot about you. Hmm. The fact remains that we don't have enough room in here. Harry and Ron are too tall as it is."

"WHAT! YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!"

"Give me a minute."

(Hermione went inside and came back out with a bundle) 15 minutes later

"Alright, here's some pretty strong twine. I borrowed some from Hagrid. I think he used it for the skrewts at one point."

"What the hell? Where am I going? I don't need twine!"

"Get on the roof."

30 minutes later

"Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!"

Hermione tied the last knot as securely as possible and bit back a laugh. With his pastel-pink hair and lying on his stomach, tied with layers of twine, Malfoy looked like an overweight radical turtle. He was facing the same direction as the car, only on top of the car. Not that anyone else was that comfortable, save Ron, but no one is really emotionally comfortable when they are sitting right next to Severus Snape, are they? Hermione got in the car and Ginny after her. She sat on Hermione's lap and looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey, Hermione, could you move your head just out the window for a sec? Thanks."

"Wait! I can't move my head in! Stick your arm out!" Ginny stuck her arm out the open window along with Hermione's head. She stretched out a little and her legs ended up in Harry's lap. "Great," he muttered.

"Um, Ginny, I've got a problem." Hermione could not move her head back inside the small car.

"Oh yeah? Look at me!" Ginny's arm was stuck out the window. "Damn."

"Look, Miss Granger and Miss Weasley, I'm sure we can sort this out when we get to the house. Just stay like that for a bit."

"FOR SEVEN HOURS!" the girls shrieked at the same time, but Snape was already pulling out of Hogwarts grounds.

It was quite a sight. They looked like a clown car, Malfoy tied on top, Ron edging away from Snape as much as humanly possible, Hermione's head out the window with Ginny's arm next to it, and Ginny stretched out over Harry. Snape was not making matters any better. He was not just a bad driver. He was astoundingly awful.

The beginning was pretty interesting. Snape pulled out of the grounds very quickly. Too quickly. He shot away from the Entrance so fast that he backed into the Whomping Willow. The lethal tree, sensing intruders, began flailing its branches, knocking Hermione's head back into the car, bruising Ginny's arm, and nearly concussing poor Malfoy, helpless on top. "GO, GO, GO!" yelled Ron and Snape shot out of there faster than you could say "Emergency Room."

"Whoops!" He smiled wryly.

At this point, Ginny and Hermione had rolled one on top the other in the backseat (Ginny managed to get her arm safely inside) and Harry was on the floor.

"I think we'll just stay like this, or someone is going to end up out of the car," grumbled Ginny. "Okay up there, Malfoy?" she shouted to the ex-blond.

Malfoy frowned. "Never better."

The rest of the car ride was a little more than anyone expected, however.

Author's Notes:

Bonjourno comadres. Sorry to all Draco lovers for his pain, but, he's supposed to be evil, so yeah.

Cinny- the car was based on our experiences, love you lots!

Becka- what's up? We get to study Latin soon! YAY! (not)

Myrtle: so I added a red Mercedes, happy? Even though it gets a little beat-up, that's ok Myrtle's response-no it's not

Galateagirl: thanks a lot for the Muggle lock-down idea. But I still have not forgiven you for the name. I shall someday, but not today

I hope y'all like this section, 'cause I'm not amazing at creative writing