Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.

Chapter 4: Culinary Arts

DAY ONE

Malfoy could not believe it. Not only am I stuck in this stupid Muggle home, but I am also stuck with Potter, Mudblood Granger, and the blood-traitor Weasleys, AND my hair is pink! Wait till my father hears about this! I should send an owl! I'll do it right now. Now, I'll go find Mars; where is that darn owl? Oh no. No wizarding world. Damn it.

Professor Snape took charge at this point. "Okay, everyone, we must not only live in the foyer and our rooms. I'll say that it is nearly time for dinner. Granger, Potter, you both know how to do Muggle cooking, correct?"

"Yes."

"To the kitchen!" shouted Ron, only to realize that he didn't know where it was.

The kitchen was large and convenient. All supplies for cooking a proper meal were there. Ginny grabbed a recipe book and riffled through it.

"So, Harry, Hermione… you know how to cook, good. Okay, all this stuff looks way too complex, darn it. No, I don't think you'll know how to make escargots en beurre and that really does not sound appetizing… know what? We're making pasta." Ginny checked the fridge. "Yes, there's tomato sauce, and over there is the macaroni," she said while pointing to the counter across from her. "Now all we need is a pot and boiling water… cool, let's go."

Five minutes later, they'd gotten all the ingredients out.

"Hey, Ginny?" asked Hermione. "How'd you know how to cook?"

"Dad." All was explained in that one word. "Guys, Hermione and I are going to set the table over there in the dining room. Ron and Harry, you can clean up the dining room, while we set the table. Professor and Malfoy, stay here and watch the pasta cook. Just remember to get the water."

"You think it's safe to leave them in there?" muttered Ron to his sister.

"Of course. It's pasta, for goodness' sake. How difficult is that? Boil water, cook pasta, heat the sauce, and pour the sauce. I'm a pure-blood, and I know how to do it."

"Fine."

"Make sure you dust the tables properly."

"Yes, Mother."

The four began to tidy the dining room.

"Think that Snape, Malfoy, and all of us will get along?"

"We'll have to won't we?"

"Yeah, Hermione, but we're talking about Slytherins," interjected Ron, as though Slytherin was the key word here.

"Well, we are now working with them, and everything seems fine. I wonder how they're doing?"

"BLOODY HELL!"

"Apparently, not so good."

Hermione, closely followed by Harry, Ron, and Ginny, rushed into the kitchen. What a sight was to be seen! Malfoy and Snape were covered with hot, tomato sauce.

Hermione walked over and looked inside the pot. "Are you kidding me? You boiled the sauce? ON HIGH?"

"Well yes, Miss Granger. We thought it would be easier. That way, we wouldn't need the water. Shorter method, you see."

"NONONONONONO! You cannot do that! Muggles can't always take the short way out! And look what you've done! Now do it properly!"

Feeling rather shaken, and annoyed at being yelled at by a Muggle born, Snape and Malfoy commenced to cook a proper meal. Suddenly, as they were about to turn on the stove (again), all the lights went out.

Malfoy panicked. "I've gone blind! I can't see!"

Snape was faring no better. "Help! Someone get Dumbledore!"

"It's okay, Professor," yelled Harry. "There must have been a blackout in this weather." It was now raining hard outside.

"Thank God I'm not on the roof still," muttered Malfoy.

"GREAT!" yelled Ron. "What about dinner?"

"Well," said Harry, "I've got some chips in my backpack. A veritable feast."

"Fine."

Malfoy interjected. "One second. Save some for me. I'm going to shower. I hate this tomato sauce."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Malfoy, you do know that water does not run during a blackout, right?"

"Damn…"

"Malfoy, will you stop swearing?"

"Never! Damn you all to bloody hell!"

Author's Notes:

Wow. I'm not doing too badly here.

To my Beta: Thank you for taking the time and energy to edit my stuff. You rock!

Shelb: I love your story about the "Accidental Banishment"! It was so funny!