A/N: Finally, chapter three is up! Woohoo! Thanks goes out to all my reviewers, especially la-bella-vita7 who made me get off my butt and post this. You make my life complete. Also, I need a Beta, so if you're interested, let me know! Reviews equal love, constructive critisicm equalsmajor love.
Disclaimer: Not mine, but if I can't have Sirius, at least Remus can. ;)
Warning: SLASH, AHOY! Boy on boy loving, so if you don't like it, leave.
For Sarah, who makes me laugh
Tension in London
"I'm gonna ask her to marry me."
Sirius turned white. "That's really great, man. Congrats, and." He took off for the bathroom where he leaned over the toilet and saw his lunch for the second time today. James knocked on the door a few minutes later.
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I just, well, you know how much I eat, must be food poisoning or something. I'll be fine."
"Ok, well call if you need anything."
"Will do." James walked off and Sirius ran into his room and collapsed on his bed. His worst fears were coming true and he couldn't do anything about them without hurting the people he loved the most. James' family had taken Sirius in when his parents had been killed by Voldemort and the two had been inseparable since. And Lily. He could never do anything to put anything other than a smile on her face.
Sirius moaned and sank further into the worn green couch in front of Lily's TV. He had been walking around the house in a dazed stupor for five days, ever since he had found out about James' imminent proposal to Lily. He sighed and shook himself mentally. What kind of way was this to behave? Was he going to live like this for the rest of his life? No! He straightened up a little as he thought of something he could do to take his mind off the Potter/Evans marriage problem. Maybe he could hang out with James, just like old times! Play quiddich in the backyard, or torture the next-door neighbors dog.
Then he remembered and sank back into the couch. Today was Lily and James' "date night, " a night they set aside for themselves every week to relax and catch up with each other. His sister had a doctor's appointment and Peter was just plain boring. That left... Moony! Sirius whacked himself triumphantly over his head with the pillow he was holding. How could he have forgotten Moony? He sighed at his own stupidity and slid off the couch and over to the kitchen to grab the phone. He speed dialed Moony's
number and listened intently as it rang. One ring, two rings, three. Sirius frowned. What was Remus doing
that could possibly be more important than talking to his bestest pal? Suddenly the ringing stopped and a
very flustered sounding Remus answered the phone. Sirius was overjoyed.
"Hello?"
"Mooooony, it's meeeeee!"
"Oh. Hi, Sirius."
"Hey, whatcha doing? Wanna come over and do something today?"
"Oh, man! I just told my boss I'd go in early today and well..." Remus trailed off.
Sirius howled forlornly into the phone.
"Aooooo. C'mon, Rem! We never hang out anymore!" And then in a quiet little voice, "I miss you."
Utter silence from the other end of the phone, then "OK, I'll be over. Just give me ten minutes to take a shower."
"Yaaaaaay!" Sirius hung up smiling; happy he'd gotten his own way again. He snuggled back down on the couch and waited for Moony to arrive, but, because he was a naturally impatient, squirmy little puppy, he could only wait five minutes before apperating over to Moony's place in the suburbs. He had practiced this so often that he could land, sitting, right in the middle of Remus' huge, black, overstuffed couch, where he snuggled down happily.
"Rem, I'm here, hurry up!"
A couple minutes later, a disheveled, distinctly unshowered Remus came around the corner, scowling at Sirius. His longish blonde hair was mussed on the top of his head, and his large golden-green eyes stared at Sirius sternly.
"I said ten minutes, you lout, and it's been two and a half. Can't you tell time?"
Sirius shrunk back into the couch and melted Remus with his puppydog eyes.
"Look, Siri, I'm sorry, I haven't even gotten a shower yet."
"Well, I don't think you need one; I don't smell anything bad, and I'm a very good smeller."
"You don't? Are you sure? Usually you complain if James takes less than two showers a day and you really don't smell anything? Weird."
"Well maybe that's because I don't like James' smell. but I like..." He trailed off under Remus' golden stare. He gave Sirius a fond look.
"You're crazy."
"Look, Rem, if you want me to go back and wait for you. I will. I shouldn't have come over so soon."
Remus smiled at him tiredly. "Don't bother, you're already here. You know I'd do anything for you, Siri."
He trailed off as Sirius turned his gray eyes on him knowingly.
"How long?" Sirius asked hesitantly.
"Wh..What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. How long have you felt this way? I'm no idiot, Remus, just a little slow on the uptake." He had gotten up off the couch and was walking towards Remus, backing him up against the wall. A resigned look came across Remus's face as he replied.
"Twelve years, Sirius. Twelve years and I never said anything. Kept it all inside for twelve years because I knew you could never..." He was back against the wall now, Sirius standing right in front of him with an angry look in his eyes.
"Could never, Remy? You could have asked, you ass. It would have made this a lot easier on both of us." And he bent his shaggy black head forward and kissed Remus on his golden, trembling lips, savoring the one moment he thought he could never experience.
Remus felt like he was going to faint from all the emotions swirling in his head. He had been in love with Sirius for years, and knew nothing could come out of it. Eventually he resigned himself just to be his friend, and somehow, just being his friend was good enough. But this… He finally knew what made all those girls fall into puddles at Sirius' feet. He was so, so, terribly, bloody good. Though, at the age of nineteen, Remus was woefully inexperienced, he knew a good snog when he got one. Just the heat coursing through him from Sirius' mouth was enough to make him curl his toes in delight.
Hours later, curled up together in front of Remus' fireplace, the werewolf pushed Sirius' hair aside and whispered in his ear.
"Move in with me."
Sirius laughed, amazed by the pang in his heart at the shy little whisper and stroked the pale blonde hair off of Remus' forehead.
"I thought you'd never ask."
Lily stepped out of the shower. She had allowed herself a few extra, precious minutes in which to just let the warm water run down her body and forget all about her recent problems. Wiping the condensation off the mirror, she was able to view the pretty redhead with the bright green eyes she had known all her life. But today, something was different. She was older, not aged, but wiser and it showed on her face. Her once naive eyes sparkled with intelligence that only comes with life experience.
Hearing the doorbell, Lily whipped on a robe and rushed to answer the door, knowing James and Sirius were either sleeping or just oblivious to anything that would involve making her life a little bit easier.
"Hello," she said, throwing open the door and panting slightly from the rush to answer it.
"Oh, uh...Lily," said a red Remus, "Um, is Sirius there?"
"Oh, yeah sure, he might not be up yet, but come on in."
Leaving Remus on the couch, Lily barged into Sirius' room, proceeding to tackle him. It was the only way anyone could even come close to waking him up. Sirius let out a large moan as Lily injected her elbow into his ribcage.
"What..." he groaned, trying to ht Lily with his pillow.
"Remus is in the living room waiting for you, you dope," Lily said with a grin as she stole the pillow from his hands and threw it out the window.
"He's where!" Sirius yelped, waking up suddenly.
"Um, outside on the couch."
"Did you just throw my pillow out the window?" Sirius asked after a long pause.
Lily laughed and walked out of the room. Not bothering to put on clothes, Sirius entered the living room in his usual attire of black silk boxers. This was something everyone was used to, but today Sirius took one step into the living room and immediately turned and returned to his room to throw on jeans before Remus could notice his presence. Feeling slightly hot and embarrassed, Sirius plopped down onto the couch next to Remus, a bit closer than usual.
"So are you going to James' game today?" Remus inquired
"Yeah, he would kill me if I missed another one. Last time I was..." Sirius trailed off.
"With Pamela Anderson," Lily said, a cool look barely hidden in her eyes as she entered the room, causing Sirius and Remus to spring apart.
"Ooh, sorry to scare you guys," Lily smirked, one eyebrow raised as they mumbled about just being surprised, not scared. "Do you want to be alone?" Lily teased, causing them both to turn even redder. "Right, well, i'm going shopping because I know how much lack of food will kill you and James. And it's not like you would even consider nourishing yourself," Lily muttered, oblivious to what she had been witnessing.
"Aww, you know that's why we love you, Lily," Sirius said, composing himself.
"Yeah, yeah," Lily said as she opened the door with one hand, grabbing her purse with the other. "See you, guys."
"Bye, Lily," Remus and Sirius called back in unison, and with that she exited, leaving Remus and Sirius alone for the first time since late last night.
"So," Sirius said, looking over at Remus.
"So," Remus said back.
"Um, about last night."
"Yeah, about that." Remus said, looking Sirius in the eyes for the first time since he walked in. "I've had feelings for you for a long time, but if this is your way of getting over Lily I don't want anything to do with it."
"It's not," Sirius said, looking slightly scared at the thought. "I think I could end up falling more in love with you than I ever could with Lily."
And then; warm breath on Remus cheek, searching lips, a hand in his hair, his stomach was fluttering, and he felt more alive than he ever had in his life.
"Oh, jeez," said a shocked voice. Sirius jumped back as Remus leapt off the couch. James stood in the doorway raking a hand through his messy black hair.
"James!" Sirius yelped. sounding more like a poodle than the big black dog he usually transformed into.
"James." Remus gasped, sounding more shocked than James had looked.
"Um, I really do not know what to say," James muttered, sounding more confused by the second. "How long has this been going on?" He inquired, looking at Remus and Sirius, standing as far apart as they could manage without falling over a couch or hitting a wall.
"It just started last night," Sirius said quietly, looking at his feet.
"And here I thought you were in love with Lily," James said laughing and shaking his head.
"Um, what?" Remus said, looking confused. "You don't care about us, about this?"
James looked amused. "Nah, you two are my best friends. Plus, you're both so...dog-like, I'm sure it will turn out fine. All right, I'll catch you two later, I have to go and train for the game," He said, laughingly as he turned to leave, shutting the door behind him.
Sirius and Remus looked over at each other and gave identical sighs of relief.
Sirius glanced up at the clock for about the 27th time today. Only four hours and twenty-six minutes until the U-haul truck arrived to take all his worldly possessions over to Remus' flat. Rem had demanded that before he move in, he explain to Lily why he was moving out in the first place. he moaned (And mentally told himself that he needed to stop doing that so much ) and looked back up at the clock; he had put this off for long enough. Sliding off his bed, he strode off to Lily's bedroom and knocked on her door.
"Hey, Lil, can I come in?"
"Yeah, grab me the elastic on the doorknob while you're at it."
Obediently he untangled the green elastic from the ornate silver door handle outside her room. Smoothly opening the door, he walked over to where she sat brushing her long red hair and at next to her on the bed. He inhaled the scent of her wafting up from her green silken sheets and smiled at the memories they had shared.
"We need to talk. Got a minute?"
"Of course!" Lily smiled, placing the brush down besides her and sweeping her red hair up into a loose ponytail.
"What's up? " She questioned, settling back into her pillows and turning her bright green eyes onto his stormy gray ones.
He sighed as he looked over at the girl he had once thought he loved. He laughed now at his own childish stupidity. The feelings he had now for Remus blew him out of the water; he had never felt this way before in his life. Remus made him feel alive, made him feel as though his very heart would burst with the pain and joy of loving him.
"Lily, I know we've had some feelings for each other in the past."
Lily looked up sharply.
"Oh, don't deny it, Lily. I know you love James, but I've seen the way you look at me when you think no one else is watching."
Lily chose not to speak, but rather responded by casting her eyes down and fiddling with the brush on her lap. Sirius sighed; he wished she'd say something.
"Look, Lily. I'm here to tell you there can never be anything between us. You belong to Jamie, and I could never hurt him, or you. And as for me, well, I'm in love. So in love, Lily. I've never felt anything this strong, this...earth shattering before. I guess I was attracted to you before because I knew you were the one girl I could never have, and that drove me crazy. And I know how awful that sounds, like I'm cheapening those feelings we has for each other. But I've always cared about you, Lils, I just never realized what true love was until just last night." he stopped, realizing he was rambling, and waited earnestly for her to say something, anything. After a long pause, she finally looked up, tears pooling in her lovely emerald eyes.
"Who is it? Who are you in love with?" As she stared up questioningly into his eyes, she thought she could detect fear swirling in the murky gray depths. Sirius drew in a shaky breath and told her the truth.
"It's Remus, Lily. I guess I've loved him forever. but we've just finally figured it out last night." He laughed curtly. "You'd think we would have figured this out sooner. He asked me to move in with him, Lils, and I'm going to. I'm leaving in a few hours. I figured it would be better this way, in case you weren't...accepting...of us. And you and James need some time alone. Oh, he knows about Remus and I, by the way, he walked in on us while you were shopping."
"You a...and Remus...?" Lily stuttered, eyes open wider than usual. "But how? How could this have happened?" Lily closed her eyes and shook her head, as if trying to shake the thought. She raised her head and he glimpsed the hurt look in her eyes. "I love you," she accused, "I would have given up everything for you." She trailed off; looking back down at the brush she was clutching so hard her knuckles were white.
Sirius' mouth fell open.
"Wait...What? You love me? But, what about James? He loves you, he always has! I can't believe you would hurt him like that, lily, I really can't. You two were always meant to be. I'm sorry Lils, but I can't return those feelings you have for me without lying to you, and myself. I could never love anyone the way I love Remus, and I don't think you only want a little piece of what I have to give." he sighed and shook his head. "I really thought you'd understand; well, I hoped you would, anyway.
Lily turned red. She finally realized Sirius needed her as a friend now more than ever, and she was pushing him away. Shoving down the words she really wanted to say, she closed her eyes tight, opened them, looked at the ceiling and sighed.
"I...I do understand, and if this is how you feel, I'm...I'm happy for you."
He looked shocked. "Really? I can tell you don't mean it, but it means a lot to me that you support us. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, Lily, but this relationship was cursed from the moment James laid eyes on you in our first year." He smiled sadly at her and planted a small kiss on the top of her red head. "But your friendship means more to me than I could ever say."
Lily choked down tears and offered him a small smile. "Do you need help packing up the rest of your things? Because knowing you, you've saved it all to do until the last minute." She slowly crawled off the bed towards him, trying to stop her hands from shaking, and the tears from pouring down her face.
Sirius enveloped her in a brotherly hug and carried her piggyback over to his room. "You know me so well, I haven't even packed anything yet, it all seems like a happy dream that I'm going to wake up from any second." He grinned over at her. "Lily, promise you'll come visit us sometimes?" The little puppy whine was obvious in his voice as he waited for her reply.
"Of course! I always thought Remus' flat needed a feminine touch, and now I'll have a reason to add some."
Sirius smiled at her, glad both of his friends were so understanding
A/N: No, this is not the end, people! Read and review, please. Reviewers get chocolate chip cookies and puppykisses!