Kairi could barely contain her nerves as she paced back and forth on the beach of the play island. It had been a little over a day since King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy had picked up Sora and Riku for their mark of mastery exam and the test was scheduled to be over by now so they should have been home soon she hoped.
She was very proud of both of her friends even if she was concerned what becoming masters would mean for them, but she shoved those thoughts aside for the time being. She had other plans that were eating at her at the moment.
Sora had been back for over a week, and they had yet to really talk about the drawing in the secret place. More to the point, they had not talked about the feelings behind them. Feelings that, for her at least, had only grown stronger since she made her addition. She could only hope that Sora still felt the same way after his travels and after she…forgot him.
She shook the thought away. He had reassured her that it was not her fault. Her mind knew this, but her heart took a bit longer to convince. Either way, she had determined that this would be the day they finally cleared the air.
She had planned it out. Once the two returned home, she would congratulate both, they would chat for a while as they discussed the test, and once that was done, she would pry Sora away as quickly and relatively discreetly as she could to…confess she supposed. The idea still made her stomach swirl, but she had determined no chickening out.
However, instead of the gummi ship that she had been expecting, the redhead was taken aback by a rift forming just over the surf. At first, she was alarmed and thought about trying to summon her keyblade despite not really knowing how to do so consistently if at all, but her fears were soon allayed when she saw who was coming through the portal.
"Sora!" Kairi smiled as she leapt into a hug which he barely managed to catch before they tumbled into the ocean, "So, how'd it go, Mr. Keyblade Master?"
"Oh, umm," Kairi giggled thinking he was just being a bit shy.
"Don't be modest," It was at this point that Kairi finally realized Riku was not with him. That made her plans a bit easier to pull off, but it did raise the question, "Hey, where's Riku?"
"He's uh, he's still back at Master Yen Sid's tower."
"Oh? Don't tell me he needed extra training? I know he's had issues, but I was sure he could pull through."
"Riku passed," Sora replied as if his he had not drunk any water in a week, "He's with Master Yen Sid and the King discussing what to do next."
"Without you?" Kairi tilted her head.
"Yeah, I needed to clear my head, and…" Sora looked away in shame, "I think Master Yen Sid wanted to speak with just the masters first anyway."
"With the…" Realization hit Kairi like a ton of bricks. She had been so sure of Sora that she did not even consider that he could have failed, "Sora, I'm so sorry. Do you…wanna talk about it?"
"Oh, uh," Sora suddenly seemed to remember to smile, "Don't worry about it. Guess I just need to practice a little more. Just don't let Donald know that I said that."
"Sora…" Kairi said his name slowly. She was one of the few who could see through his fronts, and she was the best of those few. He was hurting. Far more than she would have expected. It worried her.
"Really," he leaned back with his hands behind his head as he often did, but the motion was forced, "Don't worry about it. I'll ace it next time."
"Sora, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and if you want me to leave you to sort out your thoughts I will, but something's bothering you. Something happened during the test, didn't it?"
Sora seemed conflicted for several moments before he finally let the smile shield drop. The story that followed chilled Kairi to her very core. How he had been abused and manipulated down there. How Xehanort almost took him as a vessel. How she almost lost him. Her fears had proven true. It was far worse than simply failing.
"Sora…" She was at a loss. What did you say to that kind of trauma? All she knew was that once again, she had been helpless to help him. No, worse, she had not known that he was in trouble. She had suddenly become uneasy at some point, but she chalked that up merely to nerves over her now mostly forgotten plans.
"I…I while I was trapped in the nightmare, I kept seeing things. Images of myself as Xehanort's vessel. Of hurting my friends and those I care about." Sora was being uncharacteristically open with his hurt, both a sign of the trust he had in Kairi and how troubled he was by the affair. When he finally looked at her with watery eyes and shaky breath, her heart nearly shattered.
"I-I saw myself striking you down so many times…" It was merely a whisper hardly even directed at her, but she heard it. "I was so close, Kairi. I could have really hurt you. I could have killed you." Sora stared at his trembling hands as if they had actual blood on their hands from what he saw. He had not even told her the half of it. Most of the nightmares had been about her. Especially after it seemed they realized that they were by far the most effective. So many times he had been forced to watch the life drain from the love of his life's eyes, and in not a few he had been responsible. The dream eaters had helped distract him, but even then, he could not shake the memories fully. He had hoped home would help him sort himself before going back.
"Sora," Kairi grabbed his shaky hands, "You could never hurt me. Even if he did take control of you, you'd fight him. You have the strongest heart of anyone I know. You'd never let yourself cause me harm."
"Kairi…" His breathing leveled off and his hands stopped shaking, but his gaze was still haunted, "I saw you die so many times…"
"No, you saw what the nightmares wanted you to see. Feel my hands. Share my warmth. This is real. I'm here. I'm safe, and so are you. They failed, and even if they hadn't, I wouldn't stop believing that you'd come back to us. Even if I had to drag you back myself," She added with a wry grin.
"Thanks, Kairi," The smile was tired and weak, but at least it was genuine. She would take that over a fake "Sora smile" any day.
"Don't worry about it," Kairi smiled.
"If you don't mind, I think I'll go for a walk on my own."
"I'm here if you need me," As much as she hesitated to let him go off alone, after what he had seen, her visage probably stirred some raw memories.
"I know," He offered her one last grin and left her on the beach alone. She did not even realize when her fists clenched. How could they do that to someone like Sora? Putting him through such torture. She wanted to fight. She wanted to keep him safe like he did for her. She wanted to be with him the next time something like that happened to pull him out. Had the others not been there…she shuddered at the thought, but she was tired of having to rely on others to keep him safe while she sat on the side lines.
So, when Riku arrived in a gummi ship with Mickey to pick her up much to her surprise, she did not hesitate once he told her why. She would do whatever it took to help everyone. To help Sora. She did not mention that he was there though. Sora had to have heard the ship. If he was not ready to face everyone, she would not force him.
As they departed the island, Kairi idly stared out the window toward the small play island until she remembered her plans. She regretted not telling him. She wondered if it would have helped, but she also feared it would have made his guilt and fear that much worse. No, she would have to tell him another day.