'Dear diary'-
"I thought they wouldn't notice, they were so wrapped up in their problems iam always the last one to be bugged about what is going on in my life" kyra wrote in her diary
Need more friends with wings,
all the angels I know put concrete in my veins
I'd always walk home alone,
So I became lifeless just like my telephone
The song played on the radio as she scribbled in her notebook.
"I thought that I would never sink this low, my friends been to this place, the place of unstable mind. I feel so relieved when I cut, feels like all my problems drip away. I shouldn't be feeling this way but I do"
There's nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
"ever since dad left, and all the drama started it never felt the same anymore, we weren't happy, mom wasn't happy, I wasn't happy, I'm not trying to get attention because I don't like getting all that attention"
Never played truth or dare,
I'd have to check my mirror to see if I'm still here
My parents had no clue,
That I ate all my lunches alone in the bathroom
"my family has no clue what iam doing to myself, and I hope they never find out, I know this is the worse thing I can ever do to myself but I know it's the only think I know that make me feel better"
There's nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
"well, at least I think it's making me feel better, I'm not the same kyra, I have to put on this mask to hide away, I cant say enough that they don't know how much pain iam in they don't know where my mind is now"
Kyra stopped writing and started to cry her tears stained the blue ink as it dropped on the paper. She picked up the pen and continued the rest of her entry.
There's nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There's nothing to gain
And I can't fight the pain
"I hope when I'm gone, Elizabeth and Henry will remember me as someone who could've showed them great things, I hope when I leave, Jake doesn't hate me that I left him I hope he understands that I was unhappy, but despite all this that I loved him. I guess van and Cheyenne would be the two people that wouldn't forgive me but that's them they don't understand even if I told them now, they would think it was just a mood, just another kyra mood."
Teacher said it's just a phase,
When I grow up, my children will probably do the same
Kids just love to tease,
Who'd know it put me underground and age 17
"No matter how much mom, dad and Barbra jean say how much they love me; they are adults they don't know what a child feels like these days or how hard being a teenager is like now, even though they had it harder they didn't have to live with all these pressures"
There's nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
There's nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There's nothing to gain
And I can't fight the pain
She stopped writing as the rest of the song ended; she took a sip of her coffee. She knew she was lying to her mother she was not with gabbie, she was not at her house, she was in this coffee place downtown, she needed to be alone. She needed to think.