Those days…
Those days…
Ban has trouble dealing with those kinds of days, too. I haven't spoken to him since. Really, I haven't spoken to anyone. I'm tired of watching people I care about die right in front of me… I'm sick of it…! But, that is the life of the lightning emperor… I must live through the toughest times and keep on living, for the sole purpose of watching people suffer and die.
I'm not eating as much, and I can barely sleep. I want this nightmare to be over, already, but I can't do one thing to stop the pain. Since I fell silent, Ban is talking more. He's talking… trying to get me to talk back. He's worried. Everyone is. But I'm not. Instead of just one off day, I have been known to have an off week, or month. This happens a lot, but it's never gone on this long, not since I was living in the limitless fortress. Back then, if I needed space, I was given it; but Ban is relentless. He just wont give up on me!
I know how he feels… I have days like this, too. Maybe he's afraid I'll try the same thing he did. I would, if I could just find that gun. But I know there are other ways to end it. I would absorb too much electricity, or drown myself…but I don't want to. Quite frankly, I want to live.
Seeing Ban in the same state I was in has opened my eyes. We are both living in torment, but we are strong enough to handle it. I look over at him. He's driving silently now. Maybe he's given up on me? No, that can't be it. Even if Ban doesn't like whatever he's doing, he doesn't give up.
"…Ban?"
He jumps and looks over at me. There… there is that Ban-like look. He's surprised. I haven't spoken in nearly a month. After a minute, he looks back to the road.
"What is it, Ginji?"
Yeah, it's all going back to normal. Maybe after time… things will go back to normal.
"I'm… kind of hungry."
He laughs at me. He hasn't done that in a while. I kind of hope he'll hit me in the arm and call ma a moron, but he never does. Instead, he smiles, sort of, and reaches over to mess up my hair.
"You got it. We'll go to the Café, then."
"Thanks, Ban."
After a moment of silence, he does the most unexpected thing. He hits me in the arm and calls me a moron! So much for the NICE Ban Midou…