A/N: he he he, well, seems like I'm back and nearly in the full swing of life. /ka-ching/ (nice-guy pose).../ahem/ Anyways, here's the second instalment in this weird fic that came up at 3 in the morning.

Disclaimer: Same as the first chapter

Pairings: Could I write anything else? No, I guess not.

Warnings: Hmmmm...None that I can think of (wow, this seems like a pretty safe fic eh? Not!). Actually, this has a few "items" in this fic that may not be suitable for younger viewers (slight swearing also) so...please read at your own discretion.

Chapter 2: To Sasuke's Lover

Uzumaki Naruto casually turned a corner and rushed towards the only tree that was outside his apartment building. Checking that the coast was clear, the blond jounin quickly made a mad dash up the wide stairs and up to the fifth floor, only stopping momentarily at the pigeon holes to collect his daily mail.

Upon reaching his room apartment, the Kyuubi carrier quickly threw the door open and slammed it shut again. Heaving a heavy sigh of relief, the blond shinobi dragged his aching body towards the kitchen to make himself some much needed ramen.

This is getting too weird even for me. Thought the blond as he took out the kettle and went about his daily routine of waiting for the water to boil (5 minutes) and noodles to be ready (3 minutes). Total thinking time: 8 minutes.

I mean, first it was Sasuke-teme acting weird on missions and now it's like I'm being watched 24-7. I really need a break from all this stress. That bastard acting weird I can handle but all this "watching me 24-7"? You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now but NOOO. It's not like that. Geez! Can't everyone make up their own mind? They're either glaring or sta-

Ripping the lid off, the Kyuubi carrier started to devour his lovely noodles at an alarming speed while checking through his mail.

Hmm...bills, bills, junk, bills, junk, junk, ju-

Huh? That's weird, what's this?

Turning the (very) bulky, pale pink envelope in hand, the blond eyed the addressed mail warily.

Ugh! Who uses pink nowadays? That's just too girly for me. Hey! Hang on! Maybe it's from Sakura-chan! Maybe she's too shy to say she loves me and how Sasuke-teme is an ice cold bastard!

With ramen still hanging from his mouth, the eager fox quickly ripped the letter open.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Uzumaki Naruto

Flat 507

Fifth Floor

Fuuji Building

KONOHA

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

16 February 2006

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SN Headquarters

Secret House

Secret Street

KONOHA

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Mr. Uzumaki,

You may not know of us but we are a secret club that has just been formed exactly one month ago. We would like to take this time to introduce ourselves to you as the Sasu x Naru Club. The objective of our club is to provide our large number of member's information, pictures and merchandise on anything that involves you and your lover.

However, it has come to our attention that your lover, who is a sexy, dark, mysterious god-like figure, is having some trouble with expressing their undying love for you and having hot make-out sex. Therefore, we have taken it upon ourselves, as the administrators of the SN Club, to help out in this area to speed things up.

Included along with this letter are a dozen or so condoms (all with a different flavour), three tubes of lubricate (there's a special edition aqua lubricate for a more sensual time), a set of black hand-cuffs with red fluffy lining for comfort, and one set of attachable dark blue cat ears and tail. These items have been provided to you in hopes that you will be able to lure your lover into confessing their unending love for you and spending the rest of their life making passionate love each night under the glistening stars.

Being a shinobi, it is hard to find time for love and relationships. However, there is no time like the present as we know that your lover is waiting for you this very minute. Right now they have no missions assigned to them until next Wednesday morning. Therefore, it is with much enthusiasm that we wish you good luck in comforting their dark, cold heart and making the last Uchiha the happiest man alive.

Yours Sincerely,

The First President of the Sasu x Naru Club.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What the fuck?

A few minutes later somewhere on the other side of town at the Uchiha Estates...

Uchiha Sasuke laid down on one of his dark brown couches with one of his arms covering his eyes and a twitch ticking on his forehead. Usually, at this time of day, the last Sharingan user could be seen in a training field, working on his jutsus but today it was different. It was very different. In fact, today shouldn't have happened.

It all started exactly one month ago to be precise. There was that letter and now there's that lying sprawled out in the hallway for anyone to see (not that there would be). The letter that started it one month ago was of no importance as the Uchiha had just scoffed at the mere idea of it and then thrown it away. However, since then, the atmosphere around his blond, ex-team mate had been more than awkward.

Not only had the letter kept popping into his mind whenever a certain blond, blue-eyed jounin was around, but a certain issue was starting to arise in the Uchiha's own feelings for the said jounin. Which was: what exactly were his feelings towards the other? Rival? Friends? Best friends? Comrades? Did he even like the other? Could it be love? Or, god forbid, lust?

"Hn." A scoff escaped the dark haired joiner's mouth as he placed both his hands behind his head and stared that the pale ceiling above.

It was all annoying to the Sharingan user as these questions had been playing throughout his mind for the last month.

However...it seems like that question has already been answered by that.

By that the dark-haired jounin had meant the second letter that he had received from his so called "Uchiha Sasuke Fan Club that has just turned into a Sasu x Naru Club exactly one month ago". In the first addressed mail from this new club, the Uchiha was greeted with, not words, but pictures. Yes, a picture can say a thousand words and thirty five pictures have already said one too many words for one now frustrated and very irritated Uchiha.

Frustrated in that the last Uchiha is now currently lying on his couch contemplating what one Uzumaki Naruto meant to him and very irritated in that he was probably getting half hard from all of those thirty five pictures that he had flicked through. Sighing again for the millionth time that day, Sasuke decided to go take a cold shower seeing as his brooding wasn't going to get him out of this situation anytime soon.

Getting up off the couch, the Sharingan user made his way quietly towards the corridor, intentionally averting his eyes elsewhere in hopes of not having to deal with a bigger problem then he already has.

Knock, knock, knock!

Thump, thump, thump!

Quirking a curious eyebrow, the Uchiha back tracked his steps towards his front door, walking around the bunch of pictures lying oh-so innocently on the hard-wood floor.

Who would visit me now?

Fixing a scowl on his face, the jounin was prepared to glare the unsuspecting victim to death until he was met with baby blue eyes, light blond hair, and pinkish checks with scars. In the other's left hand was a pale pink letter and in the other, a set of black and red hand-cuffs with a tube of some sort. Feeling as if something bad, or good, happening, the Uchiha deepened his scowl while folding his arms across his chest.

"What do you want, dobe?"

Huffing a little from his mad rush to the Uchiha's door, angry blue eyes glared accusingly at the said owner of the door until he spotted something glossy on the floor just behind the tall jounin. Briefly flicking his eyes to the floor, the blond was about to dismiss the object before his eyes went straight back to the object with a mortified look. There, lying innocently enough on the hard wood was a picture of one very naked Uzumaki Naruto in a bath tub full of bubbles.

And...dun dun dun dun...wow, it seems this might not end here eh?

Well, like I said in the last chapter: REVIEW! And review lots. I like hearing what you guys think.