This Object
Chapter 03: "Chemicals"

Disclaimer:
I do not own Eva, Gainax does. If I said "I own Eva", they would... Wait, do you see that? Far in the distance. It looks like a flying purple-haired maid(0), and... Sachiel? Oh my god, I'm too late! NOOO, NOO HIDEKI ANNO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ahem. And that's what would happen.

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After realizing she had forgotten her already-packed bento() this morning (add that to the long list), she quickly went to the cafeteria to buy one. However, it seemed she was rather late: as she walked along the series of booths where food would normally be served from, she saw no lines. At first she wondered why this could be, but put away that thought, replacing it with 'I am in luck'. However, that proved to be a false assumption, and she became more and more frusturated as she found that every booth held a single sign, red kanji on white: "Sold Out". As she closed in on the edge of the wall, she saw, past the last booth, a small home-made sign above a shoddily-made wooden booth, unlike the others, which were made of metal and plastic and were manned by actual School Cafeteria personel. This one was manned by two nervous-looking female first-year students wearing stained and smattered chef uniforms (also looking home-made).

"What's this?" Rei asked, eyeing the pot with reluctant hunger (she hadn't eaten anything since her breakfast of a slice of burnt toast).

The students looked at each other, each making gestures telling the other to respond 'first'. Finally, after half a minute, the taller one spoke. "Curry, left over from last month's Culture Fest. We had a lot left because no one came to our stand, but our home-room teacher said we have to keep trying to sell until we get rid of it all."

"So it doesn't go to waste," piped in the smaller one, quietly.

Rei looked at the strange bubbling mixture, and deciding that it was better than nothing, decided to take it. "Thanks," she said as the ladel made one plop on her plate. She paid the 150 yen(1) and made her way back to the room, now noticing the bento vending machines that lined the opposite wall (that would have saved her the trouble, but it was too late: she originally had only enough for one of the vending machine's wares, but after the curry, she no longer had enough).

As she entered the room, she looked reflexively towards the source of the noise she had heard faintly out in the hall. Ikari-kun and that red-haired girl are fighting again, she mused.

"Fine, I'll get my own lunch! It's your fault for not noticing I hadn't brought mine, the least you could do is give me some privacy while I eat it ALONE. As in, without you!"

Rei sat down in an empty seat in the far corner of the room. As she was debating taking a bite of the curry (it looked far more disgusting illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the classroom windows than it did in the dark corner of the cafeteria), as she heard a voice.

"Mind if I join you?"

She looked forward at a hand holding a cloth-wrapped bento, the same hand that he had held out to her this morning. She held in a blush. "Why?"

He pulled out the chair of the seat in front of her and sat. "I thought you looked lonely over here." He lowered his head. "I also wanted to apologize about ruining your morning."

"Don't worry." Rei looked him in the face, her eyes smiling even if her face was not. "It was ruined long before our encounter."

Shinji propped his elbow on the table and held his chin in his hand, giving her an earnest look. "You know," he said in a knowing voice, "sometimes you have a bad day just so you'll know a good day when it comes." She felt about to tear, but she didn't know why. She held it in, and took a bite of the curry.

Impact. As the curry touched her tounge, the taste took her by surprise. Her eyes watered in spite of her efforts, her nose run, she gagged, and she made the most sour face Shinji had ever seen.

She stood up, fearing she had already done the worst thing possible, but not understanding the circumstances thereof (more specifically, why it was so bad), nor caring either. She picked up her plate to throw it out, walking towards the first stop on her eventual trip to the bathroom to spit and rinse out her mouth. She was almost to the trash can when she heard a muffled shout. She turned to see Ikari, having tripped on the red-haired girl's outstreched foot, coming towards her at breakneck speed.

Second Impact. He fell into her, flipping both her plate and the trashcan. As he fell, he tried to catch himself with his arms, but ended pinning one on her breast instead. For a moment, suspended in midair, it seemed like in slow motion. The whole class turned to look. Suddenly, it went back to regular speed again (which is to say, much too fast for a first date ;-) ), and she found herself under his (considerable, taking into account the fact that he was both short and shrimpy) weight. The whole class gasped, and Misato walked in the door.

"Now, Shinji-kun. No raping allowed during lunch break, especially not involving food. It's too messy to eat off each other, not to mention the lack of time for foreplay." She laughed at her own joke, ignoring the fact that they were both fully clothed.

Shinji got up quickly and stood up totally straight, blushing furiously with his hands at his sides. "Gomen!" He looked in her direction again, noticing the fact that Rei's blouse was covered in all sorts of food. "That's going to stain. Here, let me help you clean up." He held out his hand again.

"Don't worry, I can do it myself." She stood up, and he withdrew his hand. She began to clean up the mess on the floor. "At least let me help you with that..."

"No, I am not in need of any assistance. It is my own mess." He opened his mouth to respond, but then realized that there would be no convincing her otherwise, especially with Asuka making trouble.

"Ikari-kun." He turned to look at her with inquisitive eyes. "Thank you."

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Author's notes:
This was a rather rushed chapter as I had many things I had to do that interrupted its writing. Please don't mistake the decreased quality of this chapter with an overall decrease in the quality of this fic! Doing that would be unjust!

Translations:
Bento - Japanese-style boxed lunch

Notes:
0 - The flying purple-haired maid is everyone's favorite battle-android-turned-personal-servant, Mahoro Andou, from MahoroMatic (another Gainax production, which was in fact worked on by Anno-sama himself. Interesting to note, the similarities between the giant gun used by Mahoro later in the first season, which she connects to a power plant, and the gun rather like it used by Unit 01 in episode 6 of Eva, do not seem entirely coincidental, given this fact).
1 - 150 yen is, by my approximation, about $1USD. Cheap for a school lunch, but I think that's my point, ne?