Mail Time!

Thank-you so much to everyone who reviewed. It meant so much to me. To everyone who asked, I will be doing Erik soon, I just have to make his letter perfect! So, for now, here is Christine.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Phantom. I'm working on it though.

Chapter 2
Christine

Dear Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber

If you would think for one moment that I would have no complaints about everything you put me threw in that horrid excuse of a musical, then you are so wrong. I saw my fiancée writing a letter to express his dissatisfaction, and I thought that for once the Fop had a good idea. Are you surprised at receiving a letter from me? After all, what do I have to complain about? I'm the beautiful, talented young diva, who has her pick of either the gorgeous, mysterious Phantom, or the sweet, caring Raoul. /A/N: Author cringes at writing the last part, yet continues bravely./ Yet, I found tons to complain about.

First item of business. My wardrobe. Have you ever worn a corset? Do you have any idea what it is like to have your stomach squeezed, and pinched to impossible proportions during long hours of shooting? I'm now two sizes smaller due to corsets. Not the healthiest or most comfortable way to loss weight. I should sue. How much did you make off of the movie anyways?

Next complaint. The whole fainting thing. Why? What kind of air-headed, faint hearted, fop loving, bimbo do you take me for? All I saw was myself in a wedding gown. It was a pretty dress. I liked it. I wish Raoul were so accepting about the outfit that I picked out for him. /C/N: He's not too big on the pink suit, but I'm working on him. Although secretly, I think he actually likes it. Author shakes her head in agreement. It's Raoul. You never know. /

Next complaint. My choice of men. What's wrong with me? Why can I not attract a nice smart, handsome, non-obsessive, non-fop, no-temper, no-long-hair, normal guy? Am I that repulsive? First guy: Raoul. He's sweet, but way to fruity for my taste. He's overflowing with fopness. I mean, he's wearing a bow in his hair during Masquerade! My next choice, the over-possessive, way too obsessive, mask wearing, deformed bearing, temperamental, never condensensial Phantom. /A/N: Author apologizes to all fans, and bitterly continues. Even if you don't mean it, it still hurts. / Hmmm, the Fop, or the Murderer. The Fop, or the Murderer. Is there a third choice?

Now, my biggest complaint. How come I am always telling Raoul how scarred I am of the Phantom, and then when I'm around Erik, I am practically drooling over him/C/N: Watches tapes of "The Point of No Return" in disgust./ Sure, I'm terrified. I'm petrified. /C/N: Pauses it on one impressive frame. / Yeah. I'm horrified. You can never have me make up my mind. I must be the most fickle character in literary history.

On a side point, I was thinking about the inscription on my grave. "Beloved wife, and MOTHER!" Mother. /A/N: Hears crickets in the background as all of the PhanFans cringe. / I'm going to leave that one alone. There may be kids reading this. Anyway, those are my complaints with the movie. You should defiantly consider reshoting. Or else it may be very dangerous for your health. (Picks up a corset, and brandishes it threateningly. Erik nods in approval. She has learned well.) What's it that Erik used to say . . .oh yeah, NO ONE LIKES A DEBTOR SO IT'S BETTER IF MY ORDERS ARE OBEYED! (Smiles sweetly) Thank-You!

The soon to be countess, very annoyed

Christine Daae

I hope you enjoyed. If you did please leave a review. I'll really appreciate it! ;)