Mail time:D

I have another letter for you! I thank everyone for all of your reviews, I really, really appreciate them! An, I just wnted to say, I'm sorry if I insulted any Raoul fans. Although I may not personally like him, I respect your opinions, and hope you will remember that I will be making fun of everyone. Not just Raoul. OK, the next letter is from Nadir. Yey! This letter is for GerryPhan! Thanks for the idea!

Disclaimer: I still don't own "Phantom" shocker there.

Chapter 3
Nadir Khan

Dear Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber

I must say how disappointed I am in your historically inaccurate movie. /A/N: ALW looks in confusion at the name./ What! Are you asking who I am! Are you telling me that you haven't even skimmed through Susan Kay's and Gaston Leroux's novels? Even the most passive Phantom Fan knows who I am. /N/N: Waits impatiently for ALW to recognize him. Crickets chirp in the background. Nadir gives up./ I am the Persian you British idiot! Haven't you ever heard Erik refer to me as the Daroga? I am Nadir Khan and I am very disappointed in your movie.

My biggest complaint as you can guess, is that I'm not even in the movie! Who was there to keep Erik in line in my absence? Who knows what would have happened if I wasn't there to let Erik vent his murderous temper on. By now I am pretty sure that he won't kill me, although that incident with the Torture chamber has my pretty shaken up… Anyway, by now I know how to keep my hand at the level of my eye. Unlike some people I know /N/N: Sidelong glance at the Vicomte./

You actually replaced me! Do you know how much that hurt? Instead Madame-what's-her-name took my place! She was only a box cleaner in the books. A very proud, dingy, always-avoiding-my-questions-about-the-opera-ghost-box cleaner! Allah! I can't stand that woman/A/N: Author thinks that Nadir secretly likes Madame Giry, but won't say anything. His connections to the Khannum, and Erik scare her. /

So many things went wrong in my absence! I mean, you almost killed off the fruity Vicomte/N/N: Reads the end of the book again, and cringes./ Ok, disregard that last line. If I were there though, he would have gotten that poor girl away sooner. Dying in a heated room of mirrors is much more preferable to being strangled. /A/N: Poor Nadir, worrying about Erik for all them years must be finally taking its toll. /

It's impossible dealing with Erik now. He is so upset about the whole movie. I would let him write his complaints, but he is to busy repeatedly strangling a Andrew Lloyd Webber dummy. Let me just say that you made a huge mistake in making his Don Juan Triumphant a public opera. He is most displeased with your significantly inferior musical talents, and demands that you cut the whole thing from the movie. DJT was never made to be heard by public ears/N/N: Nadir tries to keep Kay Phantom, and insane Leroux Phantom away from the letter. If they got a hold of it, then who knows where the story rating might go! Author is too lazy to edit their complaints just yet, so she just holds up a picture of Raoul to scare them away. /

So I beg you to reshoot the movie. Before Erik finds a way to travel through time and strangle you. I must warn you, I am powerless to stop him, and can't really blame him.

Sincerely

Nadir Khan a.k.a. Daroga a.k.a the Persian

OK, if you enjoyed, then please leave a review! Thank you:D