Mail time!

I have another letter! This time I mock the "great" Carlotta Gudecelli. This should be fun. So I hope you enjoy! If you do, then please leave a review! I'd really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own "Phantom." Yet, I am working on it. So far I have 37 pennies. Hmmm, do think that would buy me at least a little part of the copyright? (someone tells the insane author that that isn't nearly enough) Oh well, dreaming is good, right?

Anyway, here's the letter . . .

Chapter 4
Carlotta

Dear Senor Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Thez movie waz a dizgrace! How dare you inzult zee honor of your Prima Donna! My part in zee movie waz horrible! I waz a complete narrcasistic toad! I hate toads! With a passion. I cannot begin to tell you how upset I am./A/N:Author cringes as the Spanish Soprana bellos in her ears./ Zince I know how eeeager you must be to right this terrible wrong, I provide you with a full list of my complaints.

Uno. Ma voice. Zat is zee zaddest excuse of a leading soprano zat I have eva heard. Ma voice is divine. Like a Angel of Music. Yes. Zat be zee best way to dezcribe it.Yet, ya make me zound ike a ... a ... zere iz not even a word to dezcribe it!Ya muzt be zee worst judge of music zat I have eva zeen! Even zee tone death Vicomte can tell ya I waz terrble! I waz a dizgrace.

After ya completely ruined ma voice, ya further hummiliate me by making me zee zubject of some cruel Phantom joke! I zung zee chandelier down! Of course, weknow who really crash it, but zee audiance waz unaware of zat littlecrucial bit of information! Zey think my voice crash it! I hav neva been zo hummiliated in my liv!

Dos complaint. Ya got an English woman to play zee great Carlotta Gudicelli! Zee world famous Spanish Soprano! Zee leading Zoprano at zee Opera Populair for zee lazt five seasons! Minnie Driver iz not worthy to be mentioned even in same breath. Zhe'z English! Zat alone should be reason not to cast her!Definate no-brainer!

Zee only good thing about Minnie Driver waz her lookz! I know about your unattentional oversite when it came to me bein zo large in zee play.I knowyou muz be waitin for zee perfect moment to appologize.By zee way. I forgive ya! Her beauty waz zee perfect way to make it up to me. Anything beats zat horris cow zat you had playing me in zee brodway version. Now. Zince I know ya must be zooo exited to make zee needed corrections to your muzical, I shall leave you to ya editing. I lok foreward to zeeing zee finished peice.

Zinzerily,

Carlotta Gudicelli

Okay, I know it's my shortest letter. The next one will be longer, I hope.

So leave a review, and I'll update soon! ;D