Written as if it were Revan himself telling us a story about his past as a young apprentice.Nothing more to note.
Feeling the force
I think it's about time I told you about my first lessons into actually feeling the force as Jedi do, not in the way I used to before I was discovered, however there are a few things that need to be cleared up before I go on, a few things that you need to understand about the nature of the force.
Jedi and Sith alike are able to do some truly amazing things as you already know, but the common folk attribute most of what we are able to do to magic, telepathy or telekinesis, for those of you who don't know the difference between those last two, telepathy is the ability to read thoughts and, assuming you're mind is powerful enough, control people's minds, telekinesis is the ability to move objects with your mind.
However our abilities have very little to do with the above, certainly nothing to do with magic, there's no such thing. Perhaps in some way our powers are indirectly connected to extrasensory perception, in so far as we are able to 'communicate' with the microscopic organisms 'midi-chlorians' that reside in all our cells, now don't get too assuming when I say 'communicating', it's not like we sit down to a couple of drinks and talk about the weather.
Interacting with midi-chlorians is more like an exchange of thoughts and actions- we think and the midi-chlorians act on our thoughts and desires, this of course means that our ability to use the force is affected by the concentration of the microbes. I for example have a very high concentration, greater than most Jedi or Sith, allowing me to wield greater powers and a more diverse range of force abilities than most other force practitioners.
Concentration is not the only thing that limits our ability to utilise the force; learning to communicate with midi-chlorians is a very slow and steady process, it is as if they have fully developed minds of their own (a strong possibility) and some of them need a little more time and coaxing into interacting with you than the others. This does teach apprentices the time honoured Jedi skill of patience, well, most of the time. These are the two factors that limit a Jedi's ability to wield the force.
That, I feel, explains how Jedi come to use the force; however I need to make clear how these tiny, seemingly insignificant life forms, do what they do; how they are able to make some people shoot lightning bolts out of their hands, or speed up a persons movements to a near blistering pace, or tear the life out of another person and use that life force to energise another. It is nothing to do with a particular person, nor does it have anything to do with some form of deity or the arrangement of the planets in the galaxy. It has nothing to do with anything that grand, which is why so few people understand the force. Everybody thinks 'something that amazing has to have something to do with something big!' from this we can draw a simple conclusion: People are idiots. Class dismissed.
Getting away from people and galaxies and gods, the midi-chlorians are able to do what they do through the utilisation and manipulation of the smallest and ultimately most important molecules in the universe- the atoms. All atoms interact with each other, this is a fundamental part of life and I cannot stress that enough, all atoms interact with each other, look at gravity for example, gravity is an attractive force exchanged between every single atom in the universe. For the most part the interaction is miniscule, nearly nothing, but it is still there. How about another example? One, more important to us perhaps, than anything else in the universe: Life. What we call life; our consciousness and the consciousness of others is also just another method of atoms interacting with each other, take us humans, we are each an accumulation of many different atoms formed into the shape that we all know and our consciousness is just atoms interacting in a different way. When we communicate with other people that too is just another molecular interaction, I know I sound like I am trivialising life, but that is the truth as I have seen it, you're free to hold your own opinions, but I hold mine because, as a force user, I know otherwise.
But that is the underlying lesson in all this; everything you see performed by a Jedi or Sith, produced by the force, is just the midi-chlorians making atoms interact with other atoms in a particular way, how exactly it is they are able to make atoms work in certain ways is something that no one will ever know, nor should they, for if they knew that, then they could conceivably become the most powerful and dangerous people in the universe, we're talking godlike powerful. But it is impossible to know; if I were that paranoid I would say we will never know because the midi-chlorians were actually 'keeping' that knowledge from us! Ha!
I'll humour you and explain how a couple of the powers actually work on the atomic level, I think I'll talk about a Sith's lightning and the Jedi's healing powers. I won't bother with the many other abilities; I don't have that much energy for the likes of you. Lightning is a very simple one to explain, it works in a similar way to how electricity travels across a wire. Now, electricity is terrible at travelling through air, as air is extremely resistive, lightning bolts you see in the sky travelling to the ground need millions of volts to do so, because molecules in air are not as concentrated as they are in liquids or solids, also, the air is not filled with many metallic elements.
What midi-chlorians do is solve that very problem. Let's say I wanted to electrocute someone who thought it would be a good idea to get on my bad side, the midi-chlorians increase the concentration of atoms between myself and the target until they are almost at liquid concentration, additionally they 'free' an electron from each particle involved in this process, further decreasing resistance. Ordinarily you would actually be able to see these strange ripples in the air between myself and said stupid person, but the chlorians don't give you the chance because the second these 'highways' of concentrated particles form, the chlorians discharge electricity from the fingertips to the recipient and because these concentrated paths have a lower resistance, a lower voltage can be used to deadly effect. How do the chlorians create electricity? The human body generates more bio-electricity than a one hundred and twenty volt battery, they tap this electricity, (how they do that I'm not sure) and send it down the 'highway', simple really. Naturally this process is very draining on people not used to it, or those who have not eaten in a while- you need the energy to use lightning and we get our energy from food of course. New users of lightning should really use it only once a day otherwise they would quickly collapse from exhaustion.
Healing is a different matter and an ability that really is only used by Jedi, not Sith. Jedi are able to enhance the cells of their body into a state of hyper mitosis (mitosis being the process that the body uses to heal) they can heal up bad wounds in seconds, it's quite an impressive thing to watch, but it has saved countless Jedi from death many times, Jedi can also use this power on other people to stimulate their healing.
The one thing I don't understand is how Sith and Jedi abilities are so light side/ dark side specific; like lightning and healing. Maybe there are two types of midi-chlorians; light midi-chlorians and dark midi-chlorians. The further into the dark side you go, the greater the number of dark chlorians and vice versa allowing you to use different abilities… huh, that actually makes sense somehow... Well, who'd have thought talking to you would have had any positive on my life? Anyway, that is enough of explaining the nature of the force and how it works in all its little ways, no doubt I will speak more of it as time goes on; you people are insatiable.
One of the levels in the Jedi temple on Coruscant consists entirely of meditation chambers, where one can centre one's self in peace and quiet, with or without their masters it doesn't matter; there are probably more chambers than there are Jedi anyway, so no one is going to be chasing another for a space. And as boring as it may sound, all you do in these chambers is take the meditation stance; you sit cross legged, eye's closed and with your upper arms resting on your knees and with your fingers forming circles. I don't know why they chose this stance but it seems to work for them and myself.
Vrook took me into one of the rooms and closed the door, it was so quiet here. He moved to the centre of the three meter by three meter room and sat down in said stance, but he looked at me.
"You have been doing remarkably well in your studies Revan, you are a fast learner. It's time I teach you how to establish a conscious connection to the force. Thus far everything you have felt with the force has been your sub-conscious working and because of that you will never realise your full potential. It is the conscious level at which you need to tap into the force."
"What must I do master?"
"This process that you are about to undertake will be a long one, many years in fact. Given how strong you are in the force it probably won't take long for you to scratch the surface of what I need to teach you, but for all Jedi it is a long development. Sit down with me as I have done," I followed his instructions.
"Now close your eyes and keep the noise of your breathing to an absolute minimum, it is the silence in this room that you need to concentrate on. What you need to do is blank your mind; you need to think about nothing, you shouldn't even think about thinking about nothing. Turn your mind into a void of blackness. This is what takes the longest amount of time for an apprentice to learn, to erase all their thoughts, but over time you will be able to do that, starting here. Do you understand?"
I said nothing and in doing so I had passed my first small test as to whether I was ready. I could sense Vrook was watching me, I could sense his smile as I had done exactly what he wanted. Or not done as the case may be.
I did as I was bidden, or tried to at least; children's minds are always active, mine was no exception, trying to block out all thoughts was not easy. Trying not to think about things just made me think of them, at first I couldn't help thinking about all that had happened so far. That was when my parents faces appeared in my mind, the biggest trap for any apprentice; people so emotionally close to you that they will always be there in some way. I tried to take their image out of my mind, but the more I tried the more difficult it became.
I think Vrook sensed my unease, "What are you thinking about Revan?"
"I couldn't help it master, my parents faces came into my mind"
"It's ok, most apprentices see their parents in their thoughts at this early stage, what you must not do is despair at not being able to do this first time round, no one, not even Master Vandar was able to do that. Lets try again, but this time, focus on the silence."
I closed my eyes again and took a deep calming breath and started focusing on the silence. The good thing about focusing on silence is that you are effectively trying to listen for sounds when there are none; this means that all other thoughts become blocked from your mind, and because there is nothing to stimulate your ears, your thoughts remain blank.
This continued for hours, days, just focusing on silence, on nothing. Obviously we didn't stay in the same spot for days; those floors were perma-crete; very uncomfortable to sit on for a long time. But each day in-between study sessions, Vrook and I came to our meditation chamber and sat in silence, and I did what I could to keep my mind clear, which was a challenge considering before each meditation session I was learning something new in the library of the order and you know how it is when you learn something new, it tends to stick in your head constantly for a short while after, until your mind has consolidated it and 'archived' it in your brain.
Meditating like this is designed to make an apprentice 'see' through the force; rely not on your eyes, which, contradictory as this may sound, often blind you from what is really there, and instead, use the force to show you the world around you. The nearest comparison I can give to demonstrate what it is like to see through the force is to think of how a bat 'sees' through sonar, it sends out high frequency sound waves that bounce back to it, it's brain then translates the returning sound waves into an image in it's mind. The force works in the same way in that it puts live images into your head, though it doesn't work using sonar. Instead of using sound we use energy as our medium for sight, which is why we can, when focused enough, detect almost anything emitting energy within a certain range, this can be anything from people, to droids, to a simple power supply. The more focused and powerful we become the greater the distance and clarity we can see.
It was on the fourth day of my second week of meditation lessons that I managed a breakthrough; the first time I 'saw' my surroundings through the force with my eyes closed. It was like I was looking at everything from a third person perspective. I was looking at myself and master Vrook meditate, all the surroundings were black, but our slightly blurred bodies were a dark electric blue, as if we were made of water, the mystical blue energy radiating out from us in ripples. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life, like staring at the sapphire waters of Manaan.
Snapping out of my trance in excitement I looked at Vrook, "Master, master, I saw something in my mind, I saw us, it was like I was looking down on both of us meditating and I could see the energy of our bodies, glowing blue like the sky!"
Master Vrook seemed very pleased "Excellent Revan; however I suggest you don't stop now, get back to it, and see if you can do it again, and if so, see how much more you can see."
I did as I was told and closed my eyes, successfully blanking my mind again. It took all of fifteen seconds to happen again, my 'vision' moved away from my body and I was once again able to see myself and Vrook, but I did not stop focusing. Our bodies slowly, over the course of what must have been about twenty minutes, became more detailed and intricate, I could make out the way our robes were wrapped around us, our chests expanding and contracting as we breathed, I could make out each finger on our hands, when once they were just a solid watery mass. As I sat there, I became aware of other life forms close by; people in neighbouring chambers. Then, as if my vision knew what I was thinking, turned to someone sitting down in the chamber to our left and moved towards them, right in front of them. It was a young woman, judging by her robes her rank was that of a normal Jedi- better than a padewan, lesser than a knight, her hair was tied back in two medium length pigtails and she was sitting cross legged, meditating.
"Do you make a habit of watching others meditate while you do the same?" A female voice rang out in my thoughts, it was not aggressive but slightly chastising, it was startling. I had not seen the woman's lips move so did not think it was her.
"Who said that?" I called out in my thoughts.
"I did; the one you're looking at."
I couldn't believe my mind; I was having a conversation with another person through our thoughts, through the force!
"How… how are we able to talk to each other without saying anything?"
"You are obviously new to this, young one. With the force and a focused mind, anything is possible. Talking to each other through our thoughts is only a small step into a much greater world."
I was still enthralled at seeing her speak without moving her lips. It was amazing, truly amazing.
"Can I read the minds of others like this whenever I want?"
"Not unless the person you are trying to read is willing to allow you to read them. You would have to be very wise and powerful indeed to be able to read a Jedi's mind without their consent. This conversation is only happening because I am allowing it."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"My name is Kreia. Now do not let me distract you any longer, apprentice, feel the presence of others, stretch out your mind as far as you can. It's easy once you know how, and you already do."
"Thank you." I said to her.
Her image floated away from me and I returned to myself and Vrook and did as she had told me; tried to reach out to others in the area, in the building even. I felt a new energy source approach and I saw, through my mind, another person; he was walking by our chamber and I 'watched' him walk away from us, and then disappear, obviously I couldn't keep following him; I wasn't that good yet. I could feel the presence of many, the more I focused. I spent the rest of my time finding people, looking at them, and moving on, I also managed to find a droid in my search, they look a lot different from humans when seen through the force. Instead of looking like a mass of water they look like a mass of electrical sparks, you can almost hear the crackling of electricity when looking at them.
Vrook was impressed with my progress, as was I, I wanted more though; I needed more, though I did not tell Vrook that that was how I felt at the time. Maybe had I done so things would have turned out slightly different for me? It always amazes me how even the smallest of actions or inactions can come back round with great consequences, but that is another part of the nature of the force. One of my former masters, (of which I had many in order to satiate my quest for knowledge) told me that the force is like a pond; if you touch it's surface, (perform an action or inaction) ripples are sent out in every direction and as they go out they get bigger and bigger, and of course these ripples bounce back to you at which point you'll be in another part of the pond and the ripple that meets you will be different from the one you sent out; but it will still be the one you created. I see now how right Traya was when she told me that. But she is a story for another time.
Those who have played KotOR 2 will notice the briefintroduction of the character Kreia, i felt it would make some sense to have her in there as the one who tells Revan all about readng another persons mind, it also gives the two a more deeper history.