Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, not even the other members of the Snape family. Various film buffs do… and JKR.

Author's Note: It's Alan Rickman's birthday!

Hyperactive AR fans: Happy birthday, Alan!

Rickmaniac#1: We love you!

AR: Er, thanks. Do I know you?

Rickmaniac#2: No.

Rickmamiac#3: But we know you.

Rickmaniac#1: And how lovely your underwear smells.

AR: (looks scared) I… I have to…er, go over there.

Rickmaniac#3: Wait, come back!

Rickmaniac#1: GET HIM!

AR: (running for his life)

ZZZZ

… Fine I admit it, I the leader of this group, Rickmaniac#1!

ZZZZ

Snape Family Reunion

Severus Snape woke up at eight thirty, as per usual for a Saturday morning. He rolled out of bed and stretched. The tiles on the floor were cold on his feet.

"You'd think I would get carpets for a bloody DUNGEON. I've only been here 15 years!" Severus muttered to himself.

He padded over to his bathroom, grabbing his dressing gown on the way.

"And I'm not wearing pansy slippers!"

He relieved his bladder before shaving.

Severus quickly undressed and jumped into the shower. "Mmmm" he moaned as the hot water flowed over his body.

When he finished washing his hair, Severus ran his hands through it, squeezing the water out. He towel dried himself and put on his dressing gown before walking back into his bedroom in a fairly good mood

He noticed an envelope floating above his bed. Severus grabbed and opened it.

Dear Severus,

It said:

The noble family of Snape is having a reunion.

You are not only expected to come, you are REQUIRED to attend the reunion! All respectable members of our esteemed family will be arriving and you are considered a respectable member of our family, barely.

"Shite," Severus swore. Snape family reunions were like mini Death Eater meetings

Just kidding, Sev! It's Jamie. How have you been?

Severus smiled in relief. Jamie was his favorite cousin, one of the few family members that he actually liked. Jamie was not considered a respectable member of the Snape family. He was rejected for not becoming a Death Eater and for living a happy life.

I've been great. Did you get a fright when you read the letter? Hehehe. Well there IS a family reunion. For the rejected portion of the family, that is, and you ARE required to come. If you don't, I will personally find you and drag you by the hair! I know you're going to ask who is coming so I already made out a list. That's why the invitation is so late.

George wants me to write the list in a formal way, weirdo.

Anyway, here's who's coming:

George, Sheriff of Nottingham,

Alexander Dane,

Phil Allen,

Sinclair Bryant,

Colonel Christopher Brandon,

Hans Gruber

Michael "The Metatron" Snape

Master Severus Snape (You obviously, Sev),

and Jamie "The Greatest" Snape (ME!)

See you there no doubt, because you have no choice!

Jamie

Severus snorted. He loved these reunions, not that he'd ever admit it to them. "Stupid git forgot to tell me when or where the reunion would be."

Severus quickly got dressed and headed to his first class of dunderheads.

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