To Menou – Hooray! Your crush smiled at you! I love commentaries like that; it gives me some insight into the lives of ordinary, school-going teenagers. I myself never made it to sophomore year- I got my GED instead. Anyway, the fairy tale is mine, although it might bare passing resemblance to any of a dozen established stories. I can't wait for Hatori-sensei to show up, either! He's my sign, you know. Who's yours?
To Mikol- You must really like my stories or something; this is about the fifth one you've reviewed for since I last got online. Ack! No threatening me with frying pans! That's my shtick! Okay, I'll get to work now.
"Something tells me this may be a bad time." Satanira noted, staring back at the dozen sets of eyes staring at her. "We could come back later, if you guys were in the middle of something."
Silence followed her statement, and one could almost hear a-
"No! You're either a character or the narrator! If you try to be both, you're gonna drive me nuts!" Kyo interrupted, clamping both hands over his ears. "I'm not gonna stand for this!"
Dammit, Kyo, I'm pissed off enough as it is! Don't make me do something you'll regret!
"And what can you do to me?" The Cat demanded stubbornly.
I'll give you a hint- I specialize in WAFF shonen-ai fics, and I have no problem pairing mortal enemies.
"You wouldn't dare."
Watch me.
"She's kinda got you there, Kyon-Kyon." Arisa spoke up, hoping to put an end to the argument. "The pairings for this story are undecided, and it is her fic."
"I cannot believe you!" Minami shouted suddenly, smacking Satanira in the back of the head. "How could you even possibly think of Prince Yuki being paired with some common idiot like Souma Kyo?"
"That's it! You're both gonna die!" Kyo yelled, and Satanira wisely turned and spurred her horse off, Kyo on her heels.
Yuki, meanwhile, was blissfully unaware of what horrible plans Satanira had threatened Kyo with, meaning-
"What plans?" Yuki asked sharply, looking around for a familiar insane blond to go with the voice. "And why am I blissfully unaware?"
Well, if I told you – damn, Kyo can run fast – you wouldn't be blissfully unaware anymore, would you? Ouch!
"What's going on?" Yuki asked warily. He had the sudden sinking feeling that the story was going rapidly downhill, and it would probably take him with it.
Oh, nothing. Kyo's just trying to kill me is all. Have you seen Rin? She's running a bit late.
"Knowing Rin, she's doing it on purpose." Yuki said with a sigh. "I'll see if I can find her."
Good. I'll see if I can't get Kyo calmed down enough to the point where I can stop and apologize without fearing for my life.
Rin, meanwhile, was doing what Rin does best- skulking in corners. She was dressed in black silk pants and a matching belly shirt, and covered all over with expensive silver jewelry. Everything about her, from her long, luxurious black hair to her sleek steel daggers, screamed 'Rich!' as loud as possible.
She really had no intention of cooperating with this Satanira person, although she really didn't object much to her role. She just didn't feel like being helpful.
"Rin, there you are!" Shigure exclaimed breathlessly, skidding to a halt in front of her. "I've been looking everywhere for you, young lady."
"So?" Rin demanded acidly, glaring up at him.
"So, it's time for your debut, and Akito's getting impatient. Not only that, but Satanira-"
She does not need to know that, Shigure!
"She might not need to, but I'm sure she wants to,"
Rin, do you give a damn what's happening to me?
"No,"
So there. Just get her to Akito's throne room. I can take care of Kyo just fine on my- holy shit! Nobody can jump that high! Move, Shigure!
"Yes, my lady."
So it was that Rin and Shigure, sans narration, entered Akito's imposing throne room. Rin strode in front of Shigure, stopping at the foot of the throne with a sweeping bow.
"Rin."
"Akito."
"You're looking well."
"No, I'm not." Rin disagreed flatly. She didn't play games with the king; she had no need to fear him. "You've been driving me too hard lately. Much more, and I'll collapse."
"Is what I ask really such a strain on your powers, my sorceress?" Akito asked with a laugh. "I thought you were stronger than that."
"Guarding your borders from the heathen shaman of the North grows harder every time you expand them, my Lord. My power was serviceable when you ruled one or two countries; you have seven now, and you refuse to hire yourself another magician to help me."
Akito sat silently, glaring at her, but Rin simple stood, her chin raised stubbornly. The king could do absolutely nothing to her; she was the only reason he'd become as powerful as he had. Her powers far outstripped anyone else in his household, and he knew it.
"If it's really such a trial, I suppose I can permit you to find an apprentice." Akito said finally, sighing. "You have my leave to go."
Rin turned without a word and stalked out, infinitely grateful that her debut part was completely free of annoying commentary from some crazy American bitch.
I heard that, wench!
Satanira sat on the ground in front of her horse, soaked with sweat, shivering, and completely out of breath. Minami was still astride the beast, too tired even to slide to solid ground.
Kyo stood not far away, blushing furiously and stammering as he tried to assure Tohru that he'd never really planned on even hurting Satanira, much less killing her.
"If… we're all… through here, people… it's time we got… back to the story." Satanira panted, pulling herself to her feet with the help of a handy branch. "You… okay?"
The horse, to whom the question had been addressed, rolled his eyes and shook his head, then bent his neck and began to graze.
"Useless beast," She accused fondly, fumbling in one of his saddlebags after an apple for him.
"Would you like some time alone with your horse?" Minami mumbled, flopping forward over the horse's neck and watching with mild interest as Satanira split the apple in half and fed it to the beast in pieces.
"No, that's okay. We have no problem showing affection in public. Do we, Rolan?"
Rolan gave a tired whicker and returned to his grazing.
"So, Kyo, do you accept my solemn oath that I have absolutely no intention of ever pairing you with Yuki, in this story or any other?" Satanira asked, leaning against her mount and smiling. "I really don't, you know."
"Fine." Kyo snapped, glaring at the ground. "But only because I'm feeling generous today. Now let's get back to your stupid story so we can get it over with."
"Shigure, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother story." Satanira teased, turning and running off into the woods with Kyo right behind her and her laughter echoing through the trees.
Momiji and Haru, left to their own devices for the moment, were currently engaged in a game of tag with Kyo's bandit gang. Momiji was it, and chased after anyone who got near him, breathlessly enjoying the game like on a child can.
The little blond Rabbit finally caught a bandit by the simple expedient of tackling him.
"No tagbacks!" He exclaimed, scrambling to his feet and running out of reach.
The game was progressing nicely when Satanira burst back into the clearing, making a beeline for Haru.
"Haru-kun, you gotta protect me!" She exclaimed, trying to talk and laugh at the same time. "Kyo's gonna get me! Save me, Haru, save me!"
Haru stood calmly where he was as an enraged Kyo burst through the undergrowth, bringing the game of tag to a grinding halt.
"Where is she?" Kyo demanded, and Satanira gave a mock-frightened squeak. "I'll rip her apart with my bare hands!"
"What did you do?" One of the bandits whispered to Satanira, staring with wonder at his leader. "I've never seen him so mad."
"I threatened to pair him with Shigure." Satanira whispered back. "He's so fun to tease, I just couldn't resist."
"Does this fic even have a plot anymore?" The bandit wondered out loud, rolling his eyes.
"Of course it does!" Satanira assured him cheerfully, standing up and patting him on the head. "Just as soon as Kyon-Kyon calms down, we'll get back on track, and I won't tease him anymore at all."
"Well, that was a waste of a chapter." Haru noted, sidestepping to allow Kyo better access to the object of his ire.
Haru's right; I just totally wasted an entire chapter on Kyo chasing me.
But you gotta admit, he'd be hell of fun to tease.