Tornadoes For Sighs
-Chapter 2-
Call You Never
TATSUMAKI DIDN'T FANCY MONEY LIKE BALDY PROBABLY DID.
The two stood outside of the shabby convenience store called Beano's Store. Baldy used Tatsumaki's shade as she floated beside him. As always, Tatsumaki was slightly above him so everyone knew who was boss.
The egghead was on cloud nine. Tatsumaki couldn't understand the appeal of Beano's Store, the cough, cough 'best store with sales and such. Good ones'.
Beano's Store was a corner property. It was not too far away from the apartment Baldy rented, as loosely as anyone could use the word rent. This place obviously had criminally low prices and bad quality.
Beano's Store windows overflowed with half-naked models, gaudy colourful signs advertising sales and the shelves chock-filled with numerous items. It was practically in a shoddy state with too many parking spots and no customers. Some suspicious people loitered around the parking lot.
Baldy spoke to a homeless person on the way here.
Well, Tatsumaki could call the hospital on her new phone if there was an unhappy accident. Baldy mentally wrote his grocery list with items that might give stomach viruses. And he had coupons. Yeah because sicknesses should come on sale. How much of a frugal man was Baldy to have coupons wherever he went?
"How will you carry all the food? I don't want to touch any of their stuff…" Tatsumaki asked Baldy.
"Buckets."
"Excuse me?"
"They use buckets, I like 'em. They're hopeful."
Hopeful? Why? Actually, Tatsumaki never understood idiots, why did she try?
"Anyway, I'm surprised this place got a health certificate. It's dowdy." Tatsumaki commented as the silence went on.
"It's the best store in City Z," Baldy promised with such cool admiration that she was shocked by its sincerity. "I'll share some of the groceries and meat."
Tatsumaki scoffed. Best store? Yeah, right. It's probably the best place to get rabies. She didn't believe in sharing, either.
"I want nothing from you but phone numbers. No meat. What type of meat is sold? Don't buy the rat meat." Tatsumaki looked at the store.
"Brat, there are lots of different types of meat in there." he gave her a side-eye.
Tatsumaki growled. "That's not my name, and I don't believe you! Why'd you even choose this one? I gave you the top one percent's grocery budget and you choose this? Wasted opportunity!"
"There're hot pots, obentos, fried chicken. It's a good place. You'll just have to settle."
Tatsumaki stared at the man. "Who gives a shit about the fried chicken and nikuman? We're here for a damn business deal. If you stopped equivocating, we wouldn't have problems." she pointed to him. "Don't waste my time!"
Hearing her rant, he blinked at her. "You're no fun. You gotta enjoy life more… Who doesn't like chicken?" asked Baldy flatly.
"I don't like chicken!"
"You're not even human." he deduced concretely, nodding to her.
"Bite me." she hissed.
He grimaced. "No thanks. I try to cut fat out of my diet," he said bluntly.
Tatsumaki gasped. "I'm not fat!"
"You are little." he justified.
"That isn't the problem here!"
Tatsumaki's hardly 100 pounds. She's not fat and— and what's wrong with him?! This insolent idiot ping-pong head. Tatsumaki could kill him or send his groceries to space when he buys them! She hates him. She HATES him!
Tatsumaki grabbed his sweater's string, tugging his body and face closer. "I wouldn't let you bite me! You get to buy groceries, whatever you want if you only tell me the names of people who live in your Mysterious Beings infested home. Don't talk to me so I don't have to talk to you!" she yelled in his shiny face.
Baldy didn't seem to be listening, either. Yawning, stretching an arm, Baldy was completely unaffected.
Tatsumaki pushed him away. Confrontation was useless. "Tch. You're honestly so annoying!"
Tatsumaki could call an ambulance to take him away when she broke both of his legs. He seemed to be readying himself to go inside. Well, she'll just wait out here then look into the window from time to time.
Tatsumaki opened her new phone she bought on the way here. Baldy couldn't comprehend buying a phone just like that, even now. She wanted to work instead of being annoyed.
No calls? That's weird. Usually, those people poke into my business by now, Tatsumaki frowned to herself. No calls at all?
Baldy pointed to her face and her furious texting.
"No calls?" he repeated.
He heard her. Shit. She thought he left. He lingered like a plague.
"Why'd you even get phone service if no one talks to you?" he asked, genuinely curious, distracting her.
"Huh?" Tatsumaki's cheeks blazed and her fists shook. "I h-have plenty of friends! I talk to them ALL the TIME! Many people talk to me and I got proposed to! You IDIOT!"
Tatsumaki lifted the phone out of her grip, just so she wouldn't break it. She couldn't! She wouldn't! Not again!
"How do they manage to talk if you're occasionally screaming the last words of your sentence?" asked Baldy innocently, loosening his ear canal with a pinkie finger.
This— this man was so annoying! Tatsumaki had friends and no free-time. She had way too many contacts but… still! Who says that?
Tatsumaki shouldn't have broken her old phone. She could have showed Baldy her contacts! Tatsumaki didn't much like hearing the voices of her old contacts but she still had them— and that was enough!
"Just go do your shopping, Baldy," she said, pointing to Beano's Store. She stopped paying attention to him.
Tatsumaki impulsively took a photo of the store. She will so give this place a bad review. Tatsumaki ignored him, huffing and turning away from the lingering Baldy. Anyone would bite me, I'm so sweet. He's just dumb… and peculiar, Tatsumaki grit her teeth.
Tatsumaki decided this man wasn't capable of conversation. She liked it; there were fewer chances of him saying dumb things. Conversely, it was annoying that such a crucial figure to her plan actually didn't have the brains to respond to ANY of her words.
Would she ever remember him? She couldn't even picture him after their strange encounter. How would she put him down as a reference/correspondent when she made the report on Ghost Town? Would a name be enough? Will she remember his face in two weeks when she inevitably has some free time?
Tatsumaki took a photo of the egghead. Phones never forgot. Tatsumaki had a dumb face on her phone for reference.
Baldy seemed really disturbed. "Wh-What are you doing?"
"Taking photos." Tatsumaki took another one.
"Hey, stop that!"
"No." Tatsumaki took another one, just to annoy him.
"It's creepy," He frowned at her apathetically and she laughed. Messing with him was a highlight.
"Just in case you die here. I want to get your insurance money," she said deviously, voice low and scary. She couldn't include him on top-secret information yet.
Baldy chuckled awkwardly. "That's… That's not how it works." He stepped away, for safety.
Deleting two photos, Tatsumaki snapped her phone shut and glared at him. "You're strange. I'll keep an eye on you, buster."
He was freaked out by the statement but soon moved on.
This guy was peculiar. The plain, ordinary bald man lived in the Ghost Town without problems and defeated some monster with one punch. He witnessed her miraculous powers when she shot his groceries to space and he held no grudges.
It made her feel uneasy. Baldy didn't drop everything he was doing to praise her, fear her or even ignore her. Baldy didn't absorb every ounce of energy Tatsumaki put into her masterpiece attacks in order to become her underling. People liked swearing their allegiance to her at an unhealthy, abnormal rate yet he wanted nothing to do with her.
Baldy reminded her of those people who fell asleep at night smiling like they didn't know it breaks their teeth. Yet he's here, with the preservation instincts of a pigeon.
"Hey… Baldy, how did you survive in the Ghost To…" Tatsumaki faltered.
He wasn't even there! Baldy shook the nearby vending machine, waiting for treats to fall. What a useless cheapskate. She floated over to him. "I'm so curious. What are you good at?" asked Tatsumaki.
He didn't answer at first, she fumed. He put the vending machine down. The vending machine jostled into place, green and tall and a bit crumpled where he grabbed it. What was wrong with him, picking up a vending machine and not only that, leaving dents in the box-like metal structure?
"I guess I have no luck," hummed Baldy certainly as the doors whooshed closed.
Idiots never have luck. He's such a damn ape! And even apes could still TALK!
Tatsumaki ambled through her omnipresent annoyance to realize he… He… He literally picked up a vending machine as a civilian. Most of her fellow S-Class heroes did that, it was a normal sight but he was a civilian, nothing special but he wasn't… Baldy didn't break a sweat, and acted as if it were completely normal… as if this weren't the first time. Lifting vending machines wasn't something civilians were supposed to be good at, anyway.
Tatsumaki lifted the vending machine subtly, ignoring how people watched with interest, ignoring how they both broke stranger's tiny brains.
Amongst the dark dust and dead things, there were coins.
Baldy nearly killed himself to get the coins. He said he was unlucky but he lived… and lived. If she took her eyes off of him, he'd just fade away… But now she believed that this guy would be in her memory for too long.
When looking at Baldy holistically, his skin and bones, Tatsumaki wondered, why was he so peculiar, if he were just a normal guy? How'd he catch her— take her with a glance, anyway?
###
Just as Tatsumaki thought, it was worse inside of the damn store.
Outside, Tatsumaki got bored and hot. Wearing all black was a dumb but oh-so-stylish idea. If she stayed in the parking lot for longer, a massacre would occur and she didn't feel like doing the paperwork for that.
She was the princess of the Association, they would forgive her for anything.
The whole store site was coloured with shiny artificial wrappers, an overstuffed front counter and bells that constantly flashed sound. Bright blue buckets with obnoxious smiley faces in yellow watched her.
The reek of freezer burn and plastic made her dizzy. The compact aisles more claustrophobic and people who spoke risked swallowing fruit flies. But this wasn't the worst thing! Tatsumaki heard the textile fluttering of a mat.
Apparently, a red carpet was laid down for Baldy. Baldy seriously was a local celebrity?
Simultaneous shrieks of joy and awe erupted. Three loud employees clapped, treating Baldy with dignified respect. They outright not-so-surreptitiously worshipped Baldy like she was supposed to be liked!
Why was he so special? Baldy indifferently accepted their flaunting praises. Baldy continued to walk the laid red-carpet, not bothering to wave. He seemed eager to shop and waste money on chicken; everything she hated.
Tatsumaki's brain bubbled over. For such an unattractive person, he attracted a lot of trouble…
A giant mass of muscle with a hard mouth stared down at Baldy. A death gaze. He blocked Baldy's crimson path like a fellow thoroughbred hero on her radar. He could kill the coltish Baldy! Tatsumaki was sure it was over for Baldy. Thrilling scorn rushed through her. Tatsumaki was about to hit Superalloy Darkshine's rip-off with a building, telekinetically yanking it towards Beano's Store.
Seconds before impact, an octaves lower voice said, "Welcome back, Beano's saviour!"
The words were bent with tenderness. She dropped the concrete building with tenderness too, a rumble that everyone but Baldy and the man noticed vibrating their feet. Baldy worked here?!
The big man clapped Baldy on the small shoulder, his hand bigger than Baldy's shoulder blade. The showdown ended with Baldy's battle inertia.
"Hatch? Can you move now?" Baldy asked, removing Hatch's huge hand.
"I just wanna know when you're gonna drop your resume, yeah?" Hatch asked, patting Baldy's shoulder again.
Baldy looked traumatized by the expectation on Hatch's muscular face. Hatch's smile changed his whole appearance.
"I only ask respectable people to join my team of Beano's Store employees. Please join our group!" Hatch beamed.
Hatch was strong. He had a melon head and bok choy textured hair and respected Baldy? Tatsumaki recoiled. What the hell was going on?!
"Paper's expensive." Baldy deadpanned. "No thanks, I'm busy," he added as an afterthought.
Hatch chuckled. "Tch, c'mon, Saviour-sama! It's most people's dream to be apart of our legume family!" Hatch pressed.
Baldy looked annoyed now. "You know my dream," he said shortly then passed by.
Soon, Baldy was booking it down the aisles, picking up what he wanted. He weighed heavy melons and knocked on them. He inspected some sugary snacks and things that seemed interesting. He only veered towards things that had sales with tacky stickers displaying things like:
50% OFF!
Buy 2 Get 1 Free!
Only For A Limited Time!
Ugh! This store was always yelling at Tatsumaki. The bright colours and bolded words annoyed her. Like, who cared? Baldy asking the manager about limited offers was a soundtrack for her utter contemplation. Why was she the only normal person she knew?
The thieving haggler was like a strange hawk for deals, scavaging desperately. Unwilling to pay, Baldy ate off of a grapevine, swiping taste samples of fruit when everyone noticed.
"Hey! That isn't sanitary! You don't know who's touched your food!" Tatsumaki flinched to smack the grape out of his hand.
Baldy dodged her hand, unusually agile. Him sharply moving his arm away had the temporary air-power of a hurricane. Products went flying, tomatoes smashing on the windows.
How… No one's fast enough to dodge her at her full strength. Not even Fubuki was that advanced. And he was still putting the unwashed grape in his mouth!
"I'm not greedy, want one?" He offered the grape.
She shuddered. "Don't make me throw up!"
Baldy waved away her shrieks of bewilderment. "I do this all the time." he chewed on more. "Don't worry, it's all safe."
Worrying about him? That wasn't what she was doing! "Convenience stores aren't sanctuaries of health! That type of thinking will kill you!"
Baldy suddenly had a strange expression she couldn't decipher. It made the smell of coffee and wheat and fruit around them bitter. He had a slight smile that was drenched in presence but felt simultaneously far away.
"You can't kill me. Nothing can." Baldy shrugged.
That tone didn't have the usual arrogance of S-Class heroes who died moments later. That tone had fact… well, the confidence accompanied by telling facts.
"W-Will breathing the same air as you will make me sick?" Tatsumaki wondered aloud, teasing and awkward because she wasn't sure whether or not to take his words seriously.
Tatsumaki's chest hurt for a moment, a small sliver of time, where something pierced her with a needle. She absolutely hated needles.
Tatsumaki shook off her emotions. It's painful to think about her past. Why was she was drawn to those who made her think about it? All that emptiness and loneliness shouldn't be brought up when she was around people.
Even those without a presence like… egghead made Tatsumaki think too much.
No. Tatsumaki turned away from wondering about him. She didn't care about him. Whatsoever.
"I'll get your groceries since we're slacking off by doing nothing. Every moment we waste has someone who needs help," she said sternly.
He eyed her dubiously. "I thought you didn't care about those people. It was just for appearances." She faced him with a glower yet he continued.
His brain was loose and stupid, he shouldn't make deductions about anything. Tatsumaki ignored him when he tried to speak.
"Come on, bean-heads like being with other bean-heads. You need to belong with the dregs of your crop." Tatsumaki floated away. Tatsumaki internally laughed at her pun. She's a genius. Genius!
Looking back when she didn't notice a dead vine latching onto her in earnest, Tatsumaki met Baldy's confusion.
Baldy tilted his head. "But I didn't buy beans." He looked at his bucket. "I don't eat beans. Or bean heads."
Tatsumaki groaned. He didn't understand that he was a Beano employee to be? And her pun was so great! He's a dork for not laughing.
When Baldy put in all of the items in his bucket, Tatsumaki assumed would be worth well over 50 bucks but that didn't matter. Tatsumaki made bank with her paychecks.
Tatsumaki did have to go shopping for Fubuki's snacks. Fubuki was an eating, sleeping ghost at their apartment (that Tatsumaki generously paid for). However, Fubuki and Tatsumaki lacked the contact needed to be roommates… or even sisters. It bothered Tatsumaki. Spiritually, of course. Shivers crawled against her brain. She hated ghosts!
Soon, Tatsumaki and Baldy reeled down the aisles with nothing good to say when he stopped to stare at this cactus he put in his bucket. Cacti were useless to modern society, no wonder he wanted one.
They stopped at the cash register. The man there was Hatch. An air of competition and testosterone made her annoyed when Baldy and Hatch stared each other down.
"Did you remember all the prices?" Hatch challenged.
Baldy looked determined. "Everything."
"Then it's another half-off Friday!"
Half-off Fridays?
All the employees cheered. Granted there were 3 of them, it shouldn't have been as loud or enthusiastic. But it was. Tatsumaki was missing something when Baldy listed off ALL the prices of everything. They kept on quizzing each other in this macho way she hated.
"What's the price of these sandals?" Hatch asked.
"300 yen!" Baldy yelled back, equal in his stare and vigour. He really wanted those sales.
"These two chicken breasts?"
"126 yen each!"
Tatsumaki groaned. Baldy was quietly complacent and self-important. Notwithstanding her eternal horror, the two continued on with their idiot spiels.
"These avocados!"
"44 yen each!"
"This Romanian cabbage!"
"85 yen!"
Hatch kept on pulling out items and more items in rapid succession. The whole team egged on egghead's winning streak, abandoning their tasks in order to watch. Hatch actually scanned and put into the blue bucket, he accidentally pulled out an unexpected bottle.
Baldy froze, a bit tense when the plastic bottle was revealed. "Crap. That wasn't supposed to be in there…"
The store held its breath. Tatsumaki thought it'd be worse, like lube or something but it wasn't! "And you even got shampoo!" Tatsumaki breathed.
It said, "Dr. Gray's Shampoo with a hint of rosewood and argan-oil. Can be used on beards too!"
"And you… Your beard! HAGH!" she laughed.
Tatsumaki couldn't handle it anymore. She died laughing, floating in the air with multiple mini-heart attacks of joy breaking her chest. She couldn't breathe with how much her ribs hurt. What does he need shampoo for?!
"O-Oh my god! You literally bought shampoo! Ha! HA! Ha! Ha! I've gotta tell Fubuki."
Later, Tatsumaki calmed down with panting breaths. She never laughed. What a new development. She blinked to see Hatch patting a downtrodden, dark-faced Baldy murmuring nonsensically.
"It's okay to have hope!" Hatch grinned, clumsily soothing the man from afar.
Hope was for parasites! Tatsumaki started laughing again.
Baldy pushed away from Hatch and gave her a slow look. "Be quiet. I just wanted to remember what it feels like to have hair." snapped Baldy.
"You'll feel nothing! No hair!" Tatsumaki guffawed. Aw. He really gave her another laugh. Ha. Ha.
His eye-twitched. "It's an old habit."
"For your medical conditions?" Tatsumaki taunted. "Do you think Dr. Gray Hair Growth and Replacement will help your case? Ridiculous!" She wiped away a tear.
That set Baldy off. "Be quiet! You're mad because you can't get medicine for height."
"Oh yeah, for surgery, maybe I'll just break both of your legs and use them as walking sticks!" she hissed.
"You'd still be shorter than me," he countered.
"You think you're such a smartass, a real Dr. Gray who could fix problems, huh! You're not. At all!"
The mood turned sour. Baldy glared at her for a moment or two, overreacting too much. He was sensitive about that. It was a weakness. And he made this personal!
Tatsumaki flicked her wrist. "Want your groceries to get help in space, huh? They can't get a dose of your stupidity there!"
Tatsumaki lifted all of the groceries. Green energy silking around them, parading them in the air like a child's carousel.
Two of the other employees were mildly unimpressed, one whispering, "Don't mistreat the produce!" but was too coward to say it to her face.
Baldy looked at Hatch. "Is the shampoo about 500 yen?" he asked, all irritated and bent out of shape.
He was still buying it? All the employees sighed, just like her.
"You were on a twenty item streak. All of these will go for 1878 yen." Hatch grinned. "Soon enough, you'll have all the prices down. And you'll work here."
"I lost because of you." Baldy petulantly blamed Tatsumaki.
Pfft. Baldy lost all the time, what's the big deal about this one?
"Hey, all of the groceries are for Baizou. He'll appreciate this. We all win." Hatch smiled, handing the bucket back.
Baldy seemed mildly appeased by those words. Tatsumaki was still lost. Why did he play all these games with these people and who was Baizou?
Hatch caught her confused expression. "We're tryna snatch Saviour-sama here to be our employee. Our bases need to be covered and he's pretty good."
"Do you really think he's got that potential? I don't think he could read labels." Tatsumaki remarked innocently. "Especially shampoo labels."
"Yeah, we want him. He's having trouble as a hero while I'm successful as a store manager. I wanna help people!"
Tatsumaki looked at the skinny, weak Baldy, who wanted to be a hero and knew too much about sales. Then she looked at the muscular Hatch, who was built like a hero but wanted to be a store manager. The world was weird.
"I am an average hero who doesn't want to work as anything else. I want to be a hero." Baldy declared with as much enthusiasm a funeral possessed.
Hatch shrugged. "When it doesn't work out— er, I mean… if it doesn't work out you have a family and a home here." he gestured to the store.
Baldy didn't seem too thrilled by the comment. He didn't seem bothered by it either.
"As a top hero, I want to welcome…" Tatsumaki paused for a moment then studied Baldy. She… She doesn't know his name. "What is… your name?" Tatsumaki asked lowly.
"Saitama," he said quietly.
Oh. Okay. Whatever. Tatsumaki took out her debit card from her bra then reverted to full volume.
"As your senior hero in the top tier, I welcome you to the pariah's den of my humble abode with the payment of the 1878 yen," she smirked.
"I'll be paying now," Baldy said, dropping all of the 2000 yen onto the counter in coins.
Him? He didn't have money and the deal was that she paid for him telling her where the residents where! What type of fresh hell was this?!
He couldn't just do that! He had money the entire time? Why wasn't he using the coupons? Baldy didn't give Tatsumaki much time to process when they all looked at her expectantly.
"What?" barked Tatsumaki.
Baldy was the only one not scared shitless by her cute question. "You're not supposed to play with your food, kid."
Tatsumaki glared at him, a cute smile on her face. "You're looking into the eyes of Armageddon, tread carefully whilst cheating death," she said quietly.
"Yo, kid," He got pale again. "Y-You haven't put set down all the products in the store." He pointed behind her.
Oh. Tatsumaki minorly returned everything in its place. Nitpicky and annoying, everyone fussed over their "bad" placement. Fuck this.
"We will talk," she said without looking back. It was quiet with confusion. "You know who you are. What you've done."
Tatsumaki pushed out of the store. Tatsumaki wanted to rant to someone special and who cared. Tatsumaki called Fubuki, expecting her not to answer. Fubuki jumped to answer which was weird.
"Hello?" A husky voice said statically.
Fubuki hadn't answered Tatsumaki when she knew Tatsumaki's number? She's disappointed but not surprised.
Tatsumaki was like clockwork, calling in the mornings at 7 because most respectable people woke up then. Tatsumaki also called at 7 in the evenings when most respectable people settled down, drank wine and talked to family members.
Fubuki was a darling but she never answered. Ever. As baby Fubuki's mentor, Tatsumaki tutored her sister every Friday; in commemoration of the day they escaped the crazy lab with Blast. Fubuki didn't care about the weekly holiday nor did she like celebrating the fact that they survived hell.
Fubuki blew Tatsumaki off the past two Fridays during noon practices.
Tatsumaki never got stood up until Fubuki made it a trend. A trend Tatsumaki hated! To blow off steam and cheer herself up, Tatsumaki went hunting for monsters and purged on candy apples or just apples when she got really hung up. And Fubuki answers to a stranger rather than her own sister?!
The prolonged silence led Fubuki to be a spitfire of coldness. "This is Fubuki. I will call Tatsumaki, you know, Tornado of Terror. Both of us will come for you if you call me like this!" Fubuki threatened, all frosty and emotional.
"It's rude not to see the person you talk about, Buki," she whispered.
People who talked behind her back usually kissed her ass but this was Fubuki using her as a shield. She didn't mind but she never wanted her help, only her name. Huh.
"Buki…?" Fubuki gasped in sharp recognition. "T-Tatsumaki? Why do you have a new phone? Why are you calling?"
A sister can't check up on her younger, trampling sister? Tatsumaki was unimpressed by her whims being ignored her all the way. Tatsumaki's dear, dear sister could pay attention to her. However, Fubuki was distraught. There was something wrong, Tatsumaki could hear it in Fubuki's voice.
"Why do you sound like you've lost a battle? I told you not to talk to me rudely when you lose like this." Tatsumaki said lowly. "Why didn't you ask for my help?"
"Can't you be normal and ask me about my day?" Fubuki grumbled with a hidden tremulous waver. She really lost hard, huh.
"People who are normal are the same. Why haven't you come to training on Friday? Actually, pardon me, I didn't mention how you skipped both of them!" Tatsumaki looked at the phone. "What's up with you answering an unknown number rather than me? I paid for your phone to have Caller ID."
Fubuki groaned, seeming inferior and with a dilatory, begrudging answer. "I got defeated by some monsters during an earthquake in City F. Many of all of them came out, agitated by the earthquake someone started."
"What happened to you? Why'd you cause an earthquake? Can you even do that?"
"Tatsumaki! You caused ALL of these earthquakes in City F! People don't know it's you but I know because only YOU would do this to me! My men got hu—"
"They're spineless, how do you expect them to walk, let alone fight? Of course, they got hurt! Ditch those losers."
"It's still your fault," amended Fubuki. "We have to pray for them."
Tatsumaki shook. "I wouldn't cause an earthquake! Get out of here with your ridiculous accusations! If I could cause an earthquake there, I wouldn't leave any dumbasses standing. I don't want the innocent hurt," Tatsumaki bristled. "Aaand I taught you better. Stop praying to God, put some holy water on your knuckles and punch all of your enemies. Couldn't you keep up with Sneck and some of the other heroes? I taught you better—"
"I am not like you," Fubuki interrupted her, voice calm.
"I should be what you aspire to be! All you need is me and all I need is me. Can't you not trample on yourself? You should have come to practice on Fubuki Fridays!"
Fubuki sighed on the other end of the phone. "Only you would say that…"
"Fubuki, your tears get longer and longer! You could burn your enemies with the flame of psychic power, how hard is that?" Tatsumaki hissed.
Fubuki sighed again in the wilderness of their apartment. Or not, Fubuki didn't come home very often.
"What have I told you, huh? You can't die in the living room, it would be ironic. Ironic and embarrassing! I don't have a sister who is weak!" Tatsumaki said.
"All your life lessons tell me that everything turns out to be my fault. Why are you being so harsh, huh? I almost died."
"Usually, I can sense when you're in danger. I sensed nothing. You couldn't manage a small fry that didn't put your life in danger?" Tatsumaki sighed. A benefit of her psychic powers, she was able to monitor Fubuki's life force.
Fubuki didn't answer.
"You wanna live?" demanded Tatsumaki.
"What type of question is that?"
"If you want to live, why are you so weak? I'd rather die than lose. Falling short is the worst thing to do, aside from being a parasite."
"God, Tatsumaki."
"Hey, I didn't say anything wrong!"
After a total silence, Fubuki hung up.
Tatsumaki glared at the phone.
Fubuki ran around in her little B-Class failure group but she needed to learn to trust Tatsumaki! Tatsumaki could make a literal impact. Fubuki's disinterest with Tatsumaki was cruel. Those A-Class rejects can't help Fubuki. They make her lose any notion of success! How could they help Fubuki if the B-Class group can't help themselves—
"Who was on the phone?" Baldy asked like he had some right to know, worming into her brain.
And he scared her. How did he sneak up on her?! The last person to do that was Blast! Her heart raged, feeling preyed on. Tatsumaki was still too numb to speak.
Baldy took her with that glance, being too concerned.
Tatsumaki looked at him firmly, hiding her phone. "It doesn't matter to you, right?" Tatsumaki asked with dragon teeth.
Baldy still looked at Tatsumaki with bewildering condescension. "You're a moron. Is that how you talk to people you care about?" asked Baldy without judgement.
Baldy's cactus looked especially prickly, though. A certain tension was in the drawn-up line of his shoulders.
"You know nothing about me! Nothing is wrong with what I do." Tatsumaki said, acting as if that conversation didn't knock her off her feet. "You're perfectly out of place. How much did you hear?"
He tilted his head. "Enough."
Tatsumaki straightened her spine. After the pause, she composed herself. "I used my good graces and we had a deal you didn't honour." She narrowed her eyes.
"You're a hero. You should spend your own hero-earned money." He shrugged.
Tatsumaki shifted a bit. "What about my phone numbers and help?"
"If you want help, you could buy it. You got enough money." Baldy looked at his cactus. "Besides, you're against succulents."
"All this stress for this response? I watched you get your stupid cactus and chicken! And not to mention getting Dr. Gray hair shampoo!" Tatsumaki's tone was sour.
Baldy scanned the mostly empty parking lot. Most people were shrieking at the building in a heap of concrete and mortar in the distance.
"Oi…That last one didn't happen," he said quietly.
"It did!" she shrilled.
"If I could live without remembering that, you could too!" he said loudly.
"You won't be able to help others in your Ghost Town without help from me!" she said.
"I don't want your help. I don't want to walk a bit slower because you need to catch up."
That one really annoyed her. He keeps on hitting on the fact that she was short.
"Damn, talking to small people make my neck hurt." he winced.
"I know a good chiropractor," Tatsumaki muttered.
"Do the people who talk to you get this problem a lot?" Baldy rubbed his neck concernedly.
"Shut up! In ten years after ALL of the doctor's bills, the tips and tricks and you'll appreciate me. As Tatsumaki, your S-Class senior Esper with abilities second to none. You'll think, 'I'll miss that Tatsumaki-sama since I was a dumb person with chicken. I'll miss her.' And me, as a hero would have taught you how to feel, defend yourself and act."
With unfailing talent, Tatsumaki was better than everyone. This welp couldn't even try to disrespect her without consequences! They're not even in the same league.
Looking at her with mild distaste, Baldy stepped back. "If this is how heroes act, I don't want it," he said.
"I act in a way that provides myself with everything." Tatsumaki was confused. "You can't be different from those who grovel for a chance at being better. You won't win if you don't say yes to me. You don't want to help people?"
"I do." He surrendered. "Call me at 81-9012345677."
This was a real phone number, yeah. He didn't just play keyboard bongo. She put the phone number in her phone.
"As long as you leave me alone, you're welcome as a fellow hero," he said congenially and stalked away.
"Fellow hero? You're not a hero!" Tatsumaki yelled loudly, she went off and followed him. "You really don't try to fulfill your dreams, huh? I catch a glimpse of what I want and I continue going after it no matter what. Why didn't you just become a Beano's Store employee if you weren't going to do what it takes to become a hero?"
"Because I don't want to become an employee. I don't lose." he looked at his cactus. "Nothing will change that."
"Cacti are useless to modern society. What are you doing to contribute to this society?" Tatsumaki yelled.
There was a standoff, eyes staring at each other. None of them blinked. It was some kind of invitation to danger. What would he say?
"I am a hero for fun, that's enough," Baldy smiled then walked off.
For fun? Tatsumaki didn't care. She thought he was useless. Until she saw him disappear into the inverted oasis that was the nearby derelict road. Under the blue lid for a sky, Baldy gave all of his coupons to a homeless person. All of his bucketed groceries, too.
She watched that for a long time.
Beside her, she felt someone shift closer. It was Hatch, huge, long-legged Hatch. It felt like standing beside a familiar ally Pig God with the sleek stealth of Atomic Samurai.
Hatch felt… nicer? He looked like the vain Darkshine, just with fair skin and a well-filled, tight red uniform. Hatch's attention was fixed on Tatsumaki, not on himself… Darkshine was, unfortunately, an opportunistic vain asshole.
Hatch's low voice vibrated her chest but she didn't listen to his small murmurs. "We just put out the newly updated magazines. I didn't know you guys were a thing… Tornado of Terror-sama…"
Tatsumaki ignored him. "Why does Baldy give away his groceries to that homeless person? It makes no sense. He's poor, too!" she snapped.
Hatch, an easy-going guy, took her prickly words in stride. "Saitama knew Baizou from high school. They just happen to loiter around each other but Baizou was a bully. Saitama Savior-sama just happened to become a hero while… Baizou fell once his family was attacked by a monster."
Tatsumaki looked at Hatch dubiously. "Who… who saved him?"
"It was about four years back? It wasn't Saitama who saved him but Saitama wished he could have done something."
How does he… take responsibility for something he couldn't have prevented. Why him, why now?
"'Leave something for someone but don't leave someone for something,' is what Saitama would always say when he got stronger than his bully and did acts like this." Hatch chirped.
"Stronger? Don't make me laugh," Tatsumaki grit her teeth.
Hatch looked uncomfortable. "At least that's what he says. He probably is C-Class or something. I want him to have a safety net if things don't work out like they often don't. Being a hero is thankless."
That's not true. If someone was useless to the hero business, they were rightfully thanked less... if not at all. They should be grateful for the opportunities and not screw it up. She remained quiet as Hatch looked on at Baldy.
"He gets half-off on stuff, special allowances from Beano's because being a hero is thankless towards him. A hobby or a dream, but it didn't reward him with glory." Hatch got a little sentimental, catching himself.
"What are you trying to say?" Tatsumaki asked.
He shrugged, looking at Tatsumaki with wide, deep-set eyes. "Saitama's not a bad guy, he's just a guy. Not a hero. That's why it's nice that you're with him."
Tatsumaki gave Hatch a side-eye. Hatch didn't believe in Saitama, either. Aside from that last comment, that made Tatsumaki question whether Hatch deserved to sleep forever.
Hatch bounced a fist off of his chest. "My father thinks Saitama thinks like a hero. This era isn't ready for him yet. Saitama thinks like a hero, too. You know, he thinks deep down, everyone should get along. Anyone could be saved."
Maybe Baldy helped people. He was a real Dr. Gray but for more than just hair. He was a small time thing but he helped Baizou, a common enemy which is dumb. It was understandable but dumb.
"Everyone should get along, ridiculous! You only make friends with the people who bring you more work then you dump them. It's a perfect comedy. But he's being dumb." Tatsumaki said quietly.
"Huh? You're really an S-Class hero?" Hatch jumped, nervously staring at her then at Baldy talking with Baizou.
A green aura surrounded her palm as she pointed at Hatch. He sweat buckets, hair curls unfurling with the amount of sweat.
Smiling, Tatsumaki rolled the sweat off of his temple and collected it into a ball of death. The teaspoon of perspiration was a tough diamond when controlled by her, mixing it with glass and dirt and concrete.
Tatsumaki launched the torpedo weapon at a concrete wall. The cracks crawled up the wall with crunching screams. Patches of spider web-shaped debris fell out, eventually crumbling under its weight. Chaos, chaos and more chaos rumbled through the air when the building collapsed.
"Want me to show you what S-Class power does to blood?" she asked quietly, smirking a bit.
"No— no, er, that's fine. I know your power." he waved his arms. Looking at the hole in the city line, he gulped. "You… play with blood?"
"I am allowed to have hobbies," Tatsumaki shrugged.
Hatch held his chest, face white. "That was terrifying, Terror of Tornado-sama!"
"Don't be a baby." she snapped. Tatsumaki eyed the man for a little. "Speaking of infantile matters, why'd you use buckets? They cheaper or hopeful?"
"People usually come back with the buckets, that's why we let 'em go through our front door. They trust us and we trust them. It works." Hatch got red cheeks. "I just wanted to give our customers buckets of hope so they never run out."
Tatsumaki just opened her mouth a bit in shock then closed it. "Have you told anyone this?" she asked clearly.
"Aside from you?" he asked.
Tatsumaki shifted a bit, nodding once. "Yeah, who else knows about your "hope"?"
"No one." he shook his head.
How the hell does Baldy know? Tatsumaki folded her arms, an annoying throb of pain in her head. He was too annoying and smart… Baldy— no, Dr. Gray doesn't want to learn how to be like me. It's stupid! So stupid, Tatsumaki huffed, glaring at Baldy in the distance.
"I didn't know ruts went this deep," Hatch ran a nervous hand through his green hair. "You know, I didn't know hero's spats went this far."
Tatsumaki turned away. "They don't. Someone usually dies."
This was enough for today. She flew down the street, past Baizou and the crumbled building to find Baldy. He seemed pleasantly uncaring of anything, even the fact he walked back to Ghost Town without a single damn.
"Dr. Gray's rip-off!" she called out, furious at this fool but needed to communicate. "Baldy!"
Baldy turned around to her. She wanted to smack his face, dull as it was. And he was empty-handed too. Why was he such a good guy? Damn it.
"Your insolent self still has a link to me. I have your phone number. I am busy for the next week, the company's chief needs me for a bunch of safety missions in City A through F. Earthquakes occurred because of someone. You'll see me on the Disaster Channel." she pulled out her phone. "Don't forget to update me if you're a real hero saving people."
He waved his hands in front of his chest. "We're not working together—"
"Negative."
Baldy blinked. "Huh? N-Negative to what?"
"We're still working on saving people. Heroes always work together when they're weak."
"But I said—"
"Yeah, whatever. Heroes always work together when they're weak. I am an exception but most others are weak."
"Weak?" he asked.
"You qualify in that weak box thus far. I know others have a personality defect where they can't handle me but I don't mind. I don't care if you like me or if you don't. I. Don't. Care. In Ghost Town and even in the residential area, if your weak comrades of the human race are going to survive, you work with me! Not against me. If there's a damn problem with a monster, that's what you should dislike more than me," Tatsumaki pointed to herself. "Got it?"
He began stretching again. Seemingly defeated, he slumped, hands in his pockets. "Call me all you want." His tone was monotone and creepy. It was as if he felt nothing when holding her gaze.
Tatsumaki rolled her eyes then turned away. "You seem pretty dead and you have the survival instincts of a capybara but if you really want to make it to your next meal, don't tell ANYONE that we know each other!"
"You know, you speak novels sometimes." he groaned, yawning.
She gave him one last look. He was all too strange.
He suddenly paid attention once again. "What?"
Tatsumaki came close to his face, observing him. "To me, you're either a parasite or a survivor. Choose when you're around me. Act accordingly." she narrowed her eyes. "Dr. Gray, call me when you decide how you contribute to me."
Tatsumaki shot off before his inevitable dumb response.
Thick trails of white streaked the air. She needed to get to City F and sort out this business. The commute was boring, as boring as Tatsumaki's mind made flying… Sometimes she hated herself for making these fun things boring.
Mostly, she wanted to get away from what Dr. Gray Baldy meant. He would have rather not known her, a trend in her days. And why was he a hero? He wasn't even successful! Only the strong survived.
And Fubuki was being annoying again.
Fuck her life.
###
-End Chapter-
A/N- Ovidae here.
Lots of reviews, lots of follows. Awesome. Imma just continues. BTW, I won't withhold chapters bc I don't get reviews. I honestly write for my enjoyment with opinions, feels and considerations of the readers.
I'll probably upload on Tuesdays bc One Punch Man updates Tuesdays. Either a chapter every ten days or when I feel like it bc its summer and being 17 WITH exams is annoying. Summer is way better spent indoors tho. Lol.
And what'd you think? And do you guys want Fubuki around a lot more or you don't feel bad for her? I was trying to be neutral towards Fubuki's inferiority and Tatsumaki's overpowered arrogance. Shit's hard.
I didn't know you guys would like this as much. I do have a plan but I uploaded the first chapter on a whim. Lol. I have a plan for this but not as in-depth as I would have liked. :(. Back to the drawing board.
See you next week.