Chapter One- Need to Feel Something
Jackie Burkhart stared at her fiancé.
Fiancé.
How did she become in engaged again? Did she really ever remember saying that one little word that forever changed her life? How could she have said yes?
She stared at the glimmering rock shining on her hand. The large diamond was almost bigger than her whole entire hand, and the band of tiny blue sapphires that surrounded it in platinum went around her whole ring finger. The ring was ostentatious and ridiculous, everything her parents loved.
Everything her fiancé loved.
Christopher Marlow was not an ordinary man, at least according to her father. He was elite and had power in the world. His father was a rich politician in Washington D.C. and Christopher was considered one of the most eligible bachelor's in the whole country.
So how did a girl from Wisconsin win his 'love'?
She honestly didn't know.
It all started that summer Michael had ditched her for California. Heartbroken, she stayed a hermit in her house all summer. Donna was in California, and after weeks of moping, Eric went after her. Fez, well, Fez was Fez. And Hyde.
Well, Hyde was Steven.
He would always be her Steven.
She smiled thinking of him. Of the way his eyes could make her need him without even touching her. How his fingers slowly dragged across her skin. His lips gently graced her collarbone slowly towards her lips.
When they finally met together, she was complete.
She shook herself out of her trance and saw the many people that surrounded her. Christopher stood next to her with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, her parents grinning flakily next to them. She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes a million times over and tried to appear happy.
Inside anxiety plagued her.
Jackie excused herself from the group and went upstairs into her bathroom. She opened the drawer under the sink and dug towards the back and found a small container. She pulled it out and produced a small blade.
A smile appeared on her face.
She hiked her skirt back and slowly drew the blade against her smooth skin and let out a little cackle.
And she bled away all of her sorrows for the moment.
i.i.i.
By the time she walked downstairs, the guests were sufficiently drunk.
She saw her fiancé talking up a busty blonder and he touched her hair and laughed at something stupid, she was sure. She sighed deeply and discovered, if she disappeared, no one would notice. She went towards the where her jacket was and then grabbed her purse with her car keys.
She walked outside and the bitter January air scratched her skin roughly.
Getting in her car, her direction was clear. She found herself pulling up to the Forman's house, her home since she could remember.
As she neared the door to the basement, she heard laughter erupt. A smile fell upon her face, a genuine smile, something so rare. She opened the door and saw all of their heads turn, but she always saw him first.
His sunglasses were on, his protection from the world.
"Jackie!" Fez yelled running up to hug her tightly.
She grinned, "Hi Fez."
"Where the hell have you been lately?" Donna asked.
Jackie stood there for a moment. They all knew. They knew she was engaged. They knew she was unhappy. They all knew this, but they overlooked it, because, they did not want to acknowledge that their bubbly Jackie was anything but happy.
Everyone except Steven.
"You know how crazy it is, my parents are throwing this grand party tonight, but I thought, you know, I really miss my friends. So, even though they tried desperately to beg me to stay, I chose to be with all of you." She said cheekily.
And they all bought it. All except one.
He knew she didn't choose. He knew that she did miss them, but there was no fight involved with her parents. He knew they probably had no idea that she was even gone. He wondered if she ever missed him as much as she made it sound.
He hoped she missed him at that much.
He didn't know for sure.
So they all engaged in playful banter for a few hours till Kelso's brilliant plan to get stoned arose. Big grins spread across all of their faces; Jackie's was the biggest.
She had never smoked much pot until a few years ago. She hadn't done a lot of things she did until a few years ago. Smoke cigarettes. Smoke pot. Do shots every night. Cut herself. Starve herself.
Who would know though?
No one wanted to see a weak little girl.
So she hid.
i.i.i.
She stood outside the basement in the bitter January air. Holding her jacket around herself tightly she took a long drag of her cigarette.
It was funny, Red or Kitty would never notice if they smoked weed, but the second a whiff of a cigarette was suspected, they were all sat down for about an hour talk. Mostly Red telling them how he would stick his foot up their ass.
She felt a set of warm lips again her frozen porcelain skin and the tiniest smile appeared on her face.
He grabbed the cigarette from her fingers and took a drag.
As he exhaled, he said, "You know, these things can really kill you." He raised his eyebrow and his trademark smirk lingered on his face.
"Why thank you for that insightful thought, Mr. Hyde." She smirked back at him and stole her cigarette back.
"Ehh, I didn't want it anyway, you buy the crappy kind." He replied back.
"Lovely, all the more for me." She said.
He leaned back against the wall of the Foreman's house and pulled out his own cigarette to light. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until he broke the silence, "So, why'd you really come here."
She avoided his eyes, "I already told you."
"And you should know that bullshit won't work with me." He replied back smoothly.
"Steven, I don't want to talk about this right now." She said annoyed while throwing her cigarette to the ground and stepping on it.
"Well Jackie, what the hell are we supposed to talk about?" He asked. There was no anger in his voice, just blankness.
"You don't have to save me." She barely squeaked back. Her voice was meager and her body was limp.
He took another slow drag of his cigarette and then stepped on it to put it out. "Then stop asking me to." He whispered in her ear.
He turned to walk back into the basement when he heard her say, "I never asked you to save me." Her voice held such resentment, she didn't ever asked for help and she didn't plan on starting now.
He sighed softly, "Not every cry for help is done with words Jacks."
Then he walked back into the basement, leaving her in the snow alone once more.
i.i.i.
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