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Disclaimer: I still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and while we're on the subject, I don't own Alice in Wonderland either.
Ed stood up and looked around the room he was currently in. He was in an enormous
circular room, at least twenty feet in diameter and twenty feet in height. Five doors were placed around the room spaced by five feet. The only light in the room came from a domed skylight filtering white light into the room. Ed assumed the light was artificial. After all, how could sunlight reach so far underground? Suddenly, he saw a glint of metal out of the corner of his eye and quickly turned to look. A small curtain rustled as though something had moved it aside and quickly twitched it back into place. Ed ran over to the curtain and yanked it open revealing a small door approximately five inches in height.
"What the…What kind of door is this?" Ed wondered trying to open it. "Looks like it's locked! Hmmmm…."
Ed looked around the room and saw, standing in the center, a small three legged table.
"That wasn't there before. Where did it come from?"
Upon closer inspection, he found it to be made entirely out of glass! Even stranger, was a small bottle on it which had a tag around its neck that read: Drink Me.
"Yeah, that would be smart!" Ed scoffed, picking the bottle up and looking it over. "I guess it doesn't look like any kind of poison."
He uncorked the bottle and tentatively smelled it.
"It doesn't smell like anything dangerous. Kinda smells like punch! Aw well, I'm thirsty and it doesn't seem dangerous, so bottoms up!"
And so Ed quickly drained the small bottle. Almost instantly his body felt strange. His skin grew hot and feverish and he thought he really had drunk poison! Then he felt a swoop in his stomach, like an elevator that suddenly jerked downward. Ed felt as though he was going down in an elevator. The entire room seemed to expand around him, the tiny door quickly becoming normal sized. After a few seconds, his head cleared and Ed tried to get his bearings.
"Am I hallucinating?" he asked himself, looking around at the now enormous room.
"Of course you're not hallucinating!" A voice said, making Ed jump.
Ed slowly turned around and gasped. Standing where the door had been was none other then Envy!
"What are you doing here?" Ed yelled.
"Please, there's no need to shout! By the way, do you always talk to yourself like that? It's not normal you know, people are going to start thinking you're a little disturbed." Envy stated, tapping his finger against his head.
"Answer my question! What are you doing here?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm the door!"
Envy's form instantly changed back into the door.
"Wait a minute, that can't be right! I thought you could only turn into other people! You can't turn into a door! That's not normal!"
Envy turned back into his base form and said, "You just chased a suit of armor that looked like a rabbit down a hole in the library and drank a bottle of punch that made you shrink to three inches tall. What about this whole ordeal is normal?"
Ed didn't quite know what to say to that. He pondered it for a few seconds before shaking his head.
"I don't care! Just answer one question: Did Al come by this way?"
"Why I believe he did!"
"Great! Now move so I can go after him!"
Ed tried to move around him, but Envy pushed his hand against his forehead and held him back.
"Not so fast small fry! Did I forget to mention I'm locked?"
Ed tried to grab Envy's arm, but he stepped back and turned back into a door. Ed grabbed the doorknob and began to violently twist it back and forth, trying to open it and failing miserably.
"So where's the key?" He yelled, banging on the door.
A mouth appeared where the keyhole was and said, "Look on the table!"
Ed looked and saw a small golden key sitting right where the bottle used to be.
"And just how the hell am I supposed to get to that?" Ed asked, but Envy was being silent.
Fuming, Ed stalked up to the table leg and tried to climb it, but the glass was far to slippery and he slid down onto the ground.
"Fine! Then I'll just transmute it!"
Ed clapped his hands together and touched one of the table legs. Nothing happened. Ed tried it again and again, but to no avail.
"Why isn't this working?" Ed yelled out.
"Ahem!"
Ed turned back to the door and saw a small sign had appeared on it. It said: No Alchemy Allowed!
"So how am I supposed to get the key?"
The mouth appeared again. "Try the box!"
With growing impatience Ed looked for the box and saw it standing between two of the table legs. He opened it and revealed a red crushed velvet interior with several small cookies in it each which had a different colored frosting shaped into the words: Eat Me.
"Eh, why not? What could a cookie possibly do?" Ed said picking one with blue frosting and taking a bite.
Once again, Ed's body felt strange. The hot and feverish feeling came back with another strange swoop this one feeling like and elevator that suddenly jerked upward. Ed's perspective swiftly changed as he began growing back to normal size. Strangely, when he reached normal size he kept right on growing! Soon he was standing at Al's height and still he continued growing. In a few minutes his head was wedged inside the little dome in the ceiling, totally cutting off all light.
"I know I always wanted to be taller, but this is ridiculous!" Ed muttered trying in vain to pull his head free. He heard a tiny slithering sound and looked down as best he could to see Envy had struck a match and was lighting a candelabra.
"Well now looks like someone had too much of a good thing!" He said and chuckled at his own joke.
"Shut up! You just wait until I get my head free! RRRGH!" Ed yelled straining as hard as he could.
"Ooh, I'm shaking! I'm so afraid of the overgrown pipsqueak!" Envy taunted, laughing at Ed.
Ed continued to struggle to no avail kicking out at Envy who was always just out of striking distance. Finally, he wore himself out and just stood there panting, sweat dripping off his face and pattering like rain onto the tile of the room.
"Are you done yet? I'm bored." Envy said fanning himself. "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" A large drop hit him directly on the head. "What was that? Is it raining in here?"
Drop after drop of Ed's sweat fell from his giant height and the room was quickly filling up with his sweat.
"This is disgusting!" Envy said, wading through knee high sweat. He pulled out a fan and switched it on, pointing it at Ed. Strangely enough, the fan seemed to have an effect on him. He quickly stopped sweating and felt his head come unstuck. Light poured back into the room as Ed quickly shrank back down to normal size. But whatever was causing him to shrink wasn't done yet. He continued downward until he was a paltry inch tall. The open door was causing a current and Ed's tiny form was quickly pulled past Envy and through the door. Envy just saw a flash of red before Ed disappeared through the door.
"Well, looks like my job is done. Now it's up to Gluttony and Lust. Hopefully they don't screw up!"
And with that, Envy disappeared.
Ending Note: And that brings us to the end of the second chapter! I'm sorry it took so long to get up. I've been really busy with work and school so I haven't had a lot of free time. Look for the next chapter in a few weeks. Please review, but don't flame. I will ignore the flaming!