Tornadoes For Sighs
-Chapter 14-
Uncool
TATSUMAKI DECIDED, "YOU'RE LAME, BEARDED WORKER. LAME. I WON'T WORK BY YOUR SIDE."
Bearded Worker's tired eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "Tornado of Terror-sama…" he groaned. "Don't be difficult. Our bosses are here— let's do this later."
"There won't be a later. It's all settled now. I don't want you, bub." Tatsumaki hissed, crossing her arms. "Got it?!"
Bearded Worker sighed despairingly.
Everyone in suits and ties also sighed at Tatsumaki. She didn't like their soft, squidgy expressions either. Their sprigs of white and gray hair highlighted their age spots and wrinkles. However, they were lively enough to suck their next promotions out of Agoni or Sitch.
Sitch was a good boss. She barely saw him but he was decent enough to never get too bothered by her spitfire responses.
The room was dark as holographic projections of graphs, charts and images flashed in the air. The briefings were so boring! People were seated at the table as the branches compared and studied the recent monster kills and sightings.
Tatsumaki was there because she needed information about the next Hero Examination Amai Mask scheduled her for. Tatsumaki, King and Metal Knight were all bamboozled into this meeting. Well, King was needed to investigate City A. Metal Knight killed too many civilians in this one smackdown, which he obviously didn't care for. Psychopath.
Tatsumaki kind of loved these meetings, where she was triumphant and everyone sucked cherries but overall, she'd rather come back to Zenko and Badd.
Bearded Worker and Tatsumaki have had a tense relationship since their last phone call. People didn't like her, so what, but they didn't work as closely as Tatsumaki and Bearded Worker did. He didn't like her at all. She didn't want to bother him anymore but he had a problem with it.
"Is it possible that you both had an altercation?" Sitch asked, his impossibly big nose super annoying. Can he smell the future?
"It's Tornado of Terror-sama, what do you expect?" Some bodyguard in a corner muttered under his breath.
Tatsumaki slammed him into the wall as the lights flicked on. He was pretty and hung up, like sad wall art.
Tatsumaki marched up to him. "Huh? Tell me, windbag, what do you expect?" she leaned closer. "Hey, don't you ever feel like a fly on the wall?"
He shook his head, every movement causing flinches of pain to tear up in his eyes.
"Tornado of Terror— if you're mad at me, don't take it out on Moose." Bearded Worker protested.
Moose or the bodyguard made a whimpered noise of agreement. "Yeah, I feel like I'm being lightly bullied by her."
She knocked him into the wall again. "Shut up."
He moaned miserably. It's a surprise Moose hadn't passed out because of the pain. Well, good, she wanted him conscious while she beat his ass. No KO until she's finished.
"Let's work this out." Bearded Worker said.
"Let's work this out? Che. Go to the gym. You think I'd defend or protect your ass anymore." Tatsumaki scowled. "You don't even like me."
Bearded Worker had a pained expression then glued his gaze to the table.
"Hmph. That's what I damn near thought." she rolled her eyes. "Sitch, can you remind me why I'm the only one being put on rounds of media promotion and stupid campaigns? I want to kill monsters not be a celebrity but you higher-ups demand my time in front of a camera rather than a carcass?! I don't want to be in the public eye."
Sitch sighed. "There's no need for casual threats of violence. We do want to keep you safe—"
"Me?! You want to keep me safe?!" Tatsumaki chortled. "That's the lie of the century. I don't need protection. You people do. Especially in a time when monsters are crawling out the recesses of hell! We have the stats right here! Put me on the floor. Work with me. Let me do my damn job." Tatsumaki growled.
Sitch closed his eyes, as did all the other suits. They were all irritated and didn't like inviting Tatsumaki to meetings because of Tatsumaki's… personality. They stare at her as if she stomps on puppies in her free time while vandalizing the Hero Association's logo.
Moose snivelled laboured breaths. "As if we want to work with you."
"You have to or people die, simple as that." Tatsumaki glared. "Besides, you asked for this. You asked for a fight. You either shut up or square up. I want you to get your feet wet, dealing with a pro."
Tatsumaki wanted to take it too far.
Then she heard it. That infamous, rumbling King Engine. The ear-splitting drum counted the moments till death. It was like a roll of thunder, so tragic to all those who heard it. He was ready to fight. People heard it before they died. It put Tatsumaki on edge and she sweat nitroglycerin. Though King did jackshit… he sounded like a wrathful God.
His engine sound started a frenzy and intimidated opponents, rendering someone unable to fight. Ah, Tatsumaki could fight. She got more and more fired up the higher the hurdle.
His thin lips were in a grim line as his ice-blue eyes focused on her. His firm, fixed gaze was nothing. It didn't dissuade her from exacting justice.
"You think you'll stop my fun?" Tatsumaki asked teasingly. "You can't. You're lucky you're in S-Class. We are the best of the best. You're bringing us down. Do more and maybe I won't make your asshole a new turtleneck."
"Tornado of Terror-sama," King said, voice nothing less than imperious and stern. "Calm down."
"Drive away with your King Engine. It doesn't scare me!" Tatsumaki scoffed. "You barely kill monsters anyway— I'm taking up your part. I'm doing all of your work. I don't hear a 'thank you'."
"Are you really married, huh? You want to go home to him tonight. Calm down." King threatened.
"Oh. Do you want to threaten me, King? The Princess of the association and the King. I've never heard of that line-up." Tatsumaki barked her laughter despite the engine getting louder. "Your scars look lovely. Let's add another one. The more the merrier."
King stood, body taut and ready to rev. Finally! Conflict. A way to relieve stress. A way to find out if King's really worth his S-Class position. Adrenaline surged through her body, her fighting spirit did a happy dance.
"She's engaged to the strongest man in the world and they fell in love. She has to be pretty for the wedding." Lady Shibabawa said, bursting in the room like a damn whirlwind.
Everyone bowed as Lady Shibabawa's entourage took up all the free space.
Damn it. Why'd she come here?! Lady Shibabawa watched King, the man plastered to the wall and Tatsumaki's fighting stance, sighing a bit. Why's everyone sighing at her?!
"I see you're behaving. " Lady Shibabawa said, bemused.
Tatsumaki was embarrassed at Lady Shibabawa's words. She started all of this nonsense with Dr. Gray and kickstarted Tatsumaki's morbid curiosity.
And oh god, everyone knew that Lady Shibabawa preferred Tatsumaki over any other hero. In the first years of Tatsumaki's hero work, Lady Shibabawa predicted where monsters would be and revealed their locations to Tatsumaki alone. She wanted to see Tatsumaki rise in the ranks.
But true to her shrewd nature, Lady Shibabawa's ridiculing was harsh. She couldn't escape.
Now Lady Shibabawa walked over to Tatsumaki and embraced her. She smelled like knit upholstery and hibiscus perfume. She squeezed any intimidation out of Tatsumaki. Lady Shibabawa rocked back and forth, cooing and inviting her to dinner with her son in City G.
Lady Shibabawa pulled back. "Greetings my little monk." Lady Shibabawa simpered broadly.
"Monk?" Sitch asked, intrigued by the title.
"Ah, it's a lovely story, beautiful word for word—" Lady Shibabawa started.
"Why do you remember it?" Tatsumaki squawked, face heated. "Don't tell people!"
"I may be older but my memory is as good as yours," Lady Shibabawa sniffed.
The histrionic woman got emotional and defensive when people mentioned her age. It was cute and sad… Lady Shibabawa's painted lips distracted Tatsumaki. She flapped her long eyelashes like a pigeon taking flight.
"Your memory is dependent on how many times you can embarrass someone…" Tatsumaki muttered.
"I heard that." Lady Shibabawa hissed. "It's stifling in here. Tornado of Terror, let's go and get fresh air and eat caramels."
Tatsumaki's jaw dropped. "No way!"
"Caramels are delicious and home-made. What—"
"Not to the caramels. I mean I'd rather beat King! King owes me a damn fight." Tatsumaki shot daggers at the so-called strongest man on earth.
Sitch looked about ready to jump out of the window or call security. As if that would do anything.
Sitch said, "You are not to return to HQ until the exams. Take a vacation. You've been working hard. Plan for your wedding, relieve the stress."
Tatsumaki burned with anger. "You're suspending me?!"
"That's different," Sitch said placatingly. "If you find issues with this paid vacation, HR is always open. Please don't break anything on the way out."
"Don't worry, I'll babysit." Lady Shibabawa smiled.
Babysitting?! What the fuck?! Tatsumaki wasn't a child! Everyone seemed relieved. Magically. Parasites.
Tatsumaki glared, shooting a withering scowl at everyone who laughed. They quickly hid their lips behind hands or teeth. Fuckers.
Banished to the damn parking lot, Tatsumaki couldn't refuse Lady Shibabawa. They got fresh air outside, on a bench near the parking lot. The park was rain-washed but everything was pleasant and mild.
Lady Shibabawa's men stood at attention behind the bench as Lady Shibabawa and Tatsumaki sat abreast, a huge bag of caramel sweets between them. Tatsumaki's purse sat at her feet.
"Tatsumaki-chan, a caramel?" Lady Shibabawa offered, her knobby fingers trembling a bit.
"I'd rather gurgle wood chips," Tatsumaki said shortly.
"Caramels are the few joys in life. Eat more candy." Lady Shibabawa said, sucking on the sweetness.
"That's for children." Tatsumaki glared at Lady Shibabawa's shoulder— the ridiculous designs swirling in Tatsumaki's eyes. "Babysitting, really?"
Lady Shibabawa chuckled heartily. "Everyone's a child to me."
Tatsumaki huffed. No shit. Lady Shibabawa was an old dinosaur who embarrassed her at work. God. She was getting somewhere before Agoni banned her. Now she had to spend the evening with Lady Shibabawa. Lady Shibabawa had the insight to solve Tatsumaki's problems but Tatsumaki didn't want to say anything.
"You could be young at heart at any age. Besides, candy is amazing." Lady Shibabawa raved. A pucker formed in her eyebrows as she watched Tatsumaki sigh. "What's been bothering you, young one?"
Tatsumaki dug into Lady Shibabawa's caramels and popped two in her mouth. The sweets were good, not that she'd mention it. Lady Shibabawa's small smile was embarrassing enough.
"Aren't you having a hard time with love? Ask me about it." Lady Shibabawa stated in a kind yet forceful way old people did.
Tatsumaki chewed a bit more. "There aren't questions."
"Concerns?" she pressed.
Tatsumaki played with the candy wrapper. "You know everything. You're a seer. You saw how my fiance and I were… nothing. There won't be a wedding. If you knew it was all fake, why do you think we'll fall in love?" Tatsumaki asked with a puzzled note in her voice. "Nothing will happen between us."
Lady Shibabawa's eyes twinkled knowingly. "Do you want more than what you currently have?"
Tatsumaki stiffened. "Tell me yourself. You'll see it eventually, right?"
The teasing glint dulled into something sombre. "I don't see everything, I assure you. I do see the good and bad of life but mostly report on the misfortunes. It is morbid but I saw when my late husband would pass." Lady Shibabawa's voice got distant. "It's the single time I cursed my gift. I do not regret what I came to be. You shouldn't either."
Tatsumaki narrowed her eyes. "I do have a sorry personality. Why haven't you bought into what everyone says? I can't even get a disciple to follow me."
"Why not become a student of yourself?" Lady Shibabawa said quietly. "You're good at hiding your emotions and I can say that you're bad at recognizing them in the same breath."
Tatsumaki rolled her eyes. "I know everything about myself. It's all bad. I like it that way! Keeps the idiots away."
"My heart is warm because there are good things in there. Your heart is probably warm, too." Lady Shibabawa disregarded Tatsumaki's shrewd words again. "You stick your nose in things because you get lonely. You like looking after people who are kind, too. I heard that you're fostering Metal Bat and his sister."
Tatsumaki gasped. "Is it in the media?"
"No." Lady Shibabawa laughed softly. "That's something too special for them to know."
Tatsumaki felt stupid for asking a seer how she knew. "You only see misfortunes." Tatsumaki joked.
"They needed you and you took in strangers. Does someone with a sorry personality do something as kind as that?" Lady Shibabawa asked.
Tatsumaki looked away. "I don't know."
When Tatsumaki looked at the old woman, Lady Shibabawa silently offered Tatsumaki another caramel. Tatsumaki accepted it easily, talking around the treat.
"All I know is that I think I'd be fine, all old and alone. It won't feel different." Tatsumaki decided.
If Lady Shibabawa found the remark disturbing, she didn't comment. Instead, she hummed thoughtfully. "The downtimes that affect humanity… It's strange. We all experience loneliness as a species but everyone is separate in it. I have those months when I feel lonely but I seek inwards instead of outwards."
"Inwards?" Tatsumaki asked skeptically. "What'd you mean?"
Lady Shibabawa looked at the clouds. "You should get to know yourself, you are your own universe. You do not need someone else's stars and suns. I think your own would be much prettier, much greater and brighter. Do not make yourself feel small. You're never really alone when you're by yourself."
Lady Shibabawa grabbed Tatsumaki's free hand, a visual juxtaposition in front of Tatsumaki's eyes. All the wrinkles and spots made Tatsumaki feel a bit more alive. It made her feel like listening to Lady Shibabawa's wisdom.
Lady Shibabawa's lips quirked up. "But… But I know that you feel something for that Saitama, isn't it? It follows you around."
"I don't follow him around!" Tatsumaki protested loudly, scaring some birds.
"I didn't say that." Lady Shibabawa chuckled, squeezing Tatsumaki's hand. "Though I know you feel strongly for him."
"Whatever."
"With my husband, I was a lovesick puppy picked up from the streets and waited impatiently for a pet from his hand. I know when it feels nice to be beside a person, so I become helplessly drawn to them."
That's what she felt.
Tatsumaki erupted into flames, face hot and words stuttered. "Whatever. I'd like to be a team with him. He's got me and I got us. At least… I want to."
I like knowing his troubles, his finances and how he colours over some pages in a really good manga. He likes bargains so much he can't even describe it. And not to mention how he over brews tea just to get the best out of his deals. I want him to enjoy his bananas even though apples are superior, Tatsumaki mused internally.
Lady Shibabawa unwrapped another caramel, listening quietly.
Tatsumaki sighed, folding her hands in her lap. "To others, he's plain-looking and forgettable and doesn't speak in full sentences. He's funny but not gut-bustlingly hilarious but some people… they just stand out and never stop."
Thin eyebrows arched. "How? Does he lead a boring life?"
"I'd say. He sits around and drinks tea and wakes up early. We watch the same sunrise, every day. Not together. Stop smiling like that!"
"Okay. Okay." Lady Shibabawa raised her hands in surrender. "I'm just happy you're happy. I've known you for three years and I haven't seen you smile in a real way. It's such a shame." Lady Shibabawa said quietly.
Tatsumaki hesitated, voice getting low and secretive. "He uses one punch to decimate his enemies. He's insanely strong."
Lady Shibabawa had less of a reaction than Tatsumaki. Lady Shibabawa lived a long life and witnessed unimaginable strength because she worked with Blast before he disappeared. Maybe Tatsumaki was way too impressed by Dr. Gray.
"One punch? That's interesting." Lady Shibabawa said eventually.
"He doesn't think so! We're not so different. He's on my level… He needs food to sustain that massive strength," Tatsumaki admitted. "He doesn't let me feed him. I wanna give him smoothies."
"Men like nikujaga better. At least my husband did. It's the way to a man's heart. Not that you need it."
"I don't!" A beat passed as Tatsumaki feigned nonchalance, picking at her nails. "But what's the recipe?"
Lady Shibabawa gasped. "You claimed you didn't like to cook with or for other people. You've rejected my offers many times."
"I d-don't! I just… Curiosity isn't bad to have, is it?"
"Anything for my son-in-law." Lady Shibabawa quipped.
"It's not for him!"
"You didn't deny that he will be my son-in-law." Lady Shibabawa sang blithely.
Tatsumaki devolved into flustered blushes and loud protests.
Lady Shibabawa laughed. "Okay, child, on my show we'll feature Nikujaga. A special with famous chefs who will teach those… who dabble with curiosity in the culinary arts. If everything is going so well… What's holding you back? Marry him. I didn't know things were so pleasant."
"They aren't!" Tatsumaki sagged like a melted tire on the hard bench. "I don't think he cares about me."
"Hmm? Doesn't care?"
Tatsumaki picked at imaginary lint. "I get it. Romance happens to other people and I'm, er, special and "annoying". People are sensitive and apparently "I'm a bully". I make too much money… I mean, compliments are given when they actually hop off their below-average rumps."
"Ah. How heroes inspire and encourage others," Lady Shibabawa remarked sarcastically.
"ANYWAY, I know he doesn't care about me or anyone. Even if I try to get somewhere with him... I mean, I just don't… feel like I'm really a part of his life," Tatsumaki confessed.
"I wish someone told people this… Force it. Impose yourself in their life. Show them that life won't be the same without you. Make them see it. The sky and the sea must be connected somewhere." Lady Shibabawa said calmly. "By the way, I find you lovely."
Tatsumaki dropped her shoulders and smiled. "Thank you. If you didn't, there would be hell to pay."
"Oh really? Consider me blessed." Lady Shibabawa cackled.
Lady Shibabawa had so many wrinkles, a humpback and few teeth. She took the time to care for Tatsumaki and feed her caramels. Tatsumaki felt overwhelming thankfulness at the unexpected solace.
Tatsumaki's stomach curled in guilt. Lady Shibabawa just wanted to have dinner with Tatsumaki. Lady Shibabawa was old and wanted for something. Old people shouldn't beg. They should be treated like convalescent gods. She's been shitty to Lady Shibabawa. To any adult. God.
"Uh," Tatsumaki cleared her throat. "Since you beg and I'm nice… I… wouldn't mind having dinner with you. I'll bring the kids."
Lady Shibabawa hid her shock elegantly, making Tatsumaki less uncomfortable. She hummed a blase "of course," as if Tatsumaki told her the sky was blue. The casual acceptance felt good… as they sat there. Tatsumaki watched the horizon. The sky was a shining azure. The wind was comforting. Her sorrow seemed insignificant.
Then the woman laughed like a squeaky dog toy. It got annoying. "Why are you laughing?" Tatsumaki snapped.
The woman was unperturbed by her tone and squeezed Tatsumaki's hand. "It's nice to see the one who locks others out knocking back."
Was Tatsumaki doing that? Knocking back? She knocked people out, none of that soft shit. The way Lady Shibabawa said it… didn't feel like an insult. She sounded at ease and reassured.
"Knock, knock, Lady Shibabawa," Tatsumaki said.
"Okay? Who's there?"
"Me." Tatsumaki grinned.
Lady Shibabawa laughed. They enjoyed the afternoon, chatting, laughing when Bearded Worker fell in the parking lot.
When she got home, she dropped her keys into the bowl. When was that episode of Love Fortune coming out? She needed it—
Suddenly, a small figure flung itself towards Tatsumaki. Tatsumaki once again had an arm full of Zenko. Zenko had pale skin, bright eyes overflowing with the energy of life and bulldozed Tatsumaki in hugs. Tatsumaki wasn't a touchy person but Zenko was.
Tatsumaki nearly fell over as she tensed. Without boundaries, without asking Zenko held on. Her hip, ribs, and heart whined. No thanks.
"Tatsumaki— did I scare you?" Zenko asked with a bar of laughter.
Hell yeah! "P-Pfft, Fuji. I am not used to people greeting me."
"Seriously? It's settled, I'll greet you like this more."
"More?!"
"More!" Zenko confirmed, proud of her self-imposed task. "Every time."
"Every time? I didn't mean… That's… concerning." Tatsumaki laughed tensely.
Zenko's grin vanished, untangling herself from Tatsumaki. "Uhm, I can stop. If that makes you sad. Please don't kick me out."
"No. You scared me." Tatsumaki said carefully. "You didn't do anything wrong. No, no. I'm just… no."
Zenko eyed her skeptically. "You sure, Tatsumaki? I shouldn't have… I mean we just started living here and I thought—"
"It was fun. Don't worry. Yeah. Don't. You're allowed to because you're cool."
"You think so?" Zenko rocked on her heels. "Everyone thinks Badd's cool. They forget about me. Not that I don't think he's cool. I love him but… I don't know. I've never been called cool." Zenko smiled pleasantly.
Tatsumaki frowned. Same. Tatsumaki was known as "Fubuki's weird, mad sister" rather than Tatsumaki. It was weird to have no identity outside of being related to the popular girl.
"You know… it sucked when everyone loved Fubuki more than me… She's awesome! I know— yeah, but we both stayed away from the leeches who didn't appreciate our personal strengths. We both… learned to s-shine, differently and we're both known. You know? You'll do great things, kid, just like Badd but more like… yourself…?" Tatsumaki assured, quite awkwardly with ill-timed pauses.
Zenko still took it.
"Yeah! I'll do something great." Zenko beamed, convinced by Tatsumaki's bad speech. The happiness faded. "Badd's in his room. He keeps Tama in there, too."
Tatsumaki scowled. Ah, the pet.
Tatsumaki had a bad history with pets. Cats scratched her. Dogs avoided her or smelled her crotch which was bad for pictures and bad in general. Animals fucked up her garden. Birds sang too loudly and damn, she hated her younger brother Daruma's pet snake. She got bitten once but everyone laughed. Someone snarked, "I thought snakes got along."
Ha, ha, ha. Fuck off.
Anyway, Tama was a pregnant cat, a nonchalant furball who pranced around in Tatsumaki's luxuriant home. Tama was a fierce lethal killer and Zenko was fooled.
When Tatsumaki told Zenko she liked cats, she meant she liked Dr. Gray —she will not acknowledge that yet— not Tama with white and golden fur.
Tama hated Tatsumaki. Tatsumaki wasn't evil enough to abandon a bunch of unborn kittens but like— Tama was mean. Tatsumaki didn't want to get bullied by a light-footed overgrown rodent but a lot of weird things happened to her.
Tatsumaki wanted to get to know Badd better but it seemed Metal Bat still hated Tatsumaki along with Tama. They teamed up.
Badd has taken to either yelling or shutting himself away. It astounded her just how angry someone could be. He often lashed out at Tatsumaki. Since he avoided Tatsumaki, Zenko often got left behind as collateral damage.
Zenko now spent hours with Tatsumaki, doing "girly things" which Badd hated. Tatsumaki aggrieved Badd while suffering the war zone. Zenko had it the worst. Zenko missed her brother, the little shit.
"I'm hungry. Let's eat." Tatsumaki suggested.
"Me too," Zenko whined, patting her stomach.
Alarms went off. Tatsumaki squinted. "The fridge is yours, why didn't you make something? I left at 6 a.m, you were awake. Have you eaten?"
"No…" Zenko looked guilty. "I didn't know if I was allowed to. Your fridge is very… particular."
Tatsumaki sucked on her teeth. That isn't good. Zenko had to eat! She was afraid to touch stuff outside of her room. Did Tatsumaki make her feel unwelcome? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This was supposed to work. Tatsumaki didn't mean to leave that impression.
Tatsumaki got on her knees and made her voice delicate and unthreatening. Her purse got on the floor but that didn't matter. "I know that you and I don't know each other. That'll take a while. I'm honestly not sure about kids. Anything in the fridge isn't particular to me. I went grocery shopping with you and Mutsu in mind. Half of those things I'd never look at. You know, this place is stable. No monsters will ruin this or attack or come here. It's a safe place even if your brother and I get on each other's… nerves."
Zenko sighed. "I wished you guys got along. You think he'll come out soon?"
Tatsumaki shrugged. "We have cake on this side. He better."
Zenko got more crestfallen, if possible.
Connecting with a kid was harder than she remembered. How did Kizashi and Atlas figure this out?! URGH. Atlas spoke to Tatsumaki with patience and humour, flexibility and understanding despite Tatsumaki being a stuck-up lump of coal. Was this how awkward and unsure it was on his part?
He was tactile. Affectionate. Kids fed off of affection.
Tatsumaki hesitated then reached for Zenko's small hand. Zenko was startled but not unwilling. "You know what, how about we eat together and we'll give Badd more time?" she suggested. "We'll make him loads of stuff. He can't deny us or the good sweets."
Zenko brightened. "Yeah!"
"Let's eat together, one meal a day and you tell me about yourself. Anything. Anything in this house is yours now, my food, my money and fridge. I'll be here. Don't be afraid of asking anything. Even food." Tatsumaki squeezed her hand. "We could eat pizza all week if you want it."
Zenko was charmed. "Would you?"
"Just tell me or get into the fridge, okay? Is that a deal?"
Zenko nodded with that smile Tatsumaki wanted to protect. A new ache in her chest made Tatsumaki want to give the girl everything she had missed in life. Tatsumaki led her to the kitchen and dumped her purse on the table.
"So, kid, what's new?" Tatsumaki asked as she sat Zenko on the marble island.
Zenko swung her feet. "I organized my room. Now my closet has specific places and my toys now have new homes. I'm excited for school. I'll be number one."
"We'll celebrate even if you're last," Tatsumaki said. "But do try getting number one. Impress those fools."
Rummaging through her purse, Tatsumaki pulled out a doll in its box. She saw this on the rack when passing a cheesy kid's store in downtown. Little girls Zenko's age sobbed when opening it. Tatsumaki felt bad for leaving both Badd and Zenko in the apartment so she got gifts.
Zenko gasped. "It's the new limited edition Karel Doll from the beach episode! I can't believe you got this!" she held the doll up to the light, dancing around the oversized kitchen. "Everyone has this. I can brag to my friends. I felt so left out. They'll get so jealous."
It was quite ironic as the small, bright girl twirled around the dark kitchen. She sang promises to her doll and its waxy jet black hair and long legs and unrealistic curves. Argh. Why was Tatsumaki jealous over a stupid Karel doll?!
Tatsumaki had some celery sticks with a block of low-fat cheese and ranch. Tatsumaki would normally pull out a bottle of wine but considering her company, it felt wrong. Drinking before perfecting Nikujaga recipes was a bad idea too. She had to stash away her alcohol. She hoped Badd wouldn't get in it.
Tatsumaki didn't find the gift special whatsoever but the girl looked near tears. Zenko was an angel. Confirmed. How could a kid look so soft while admiring a plastic doll?
"Why'd you get me this?" Zenko asked tearfully.
"A shooting star carried your wish to me," Tatsumaki winked.
"But— It costs so much! I'll pay you back." Zenko's lower lip wobbled.
"Ha! No thanks."
Zenko's lower lip trembled. "B-But—"
"Darling Fuji," Tatsumaki laughed, her voice getting harder. "Relax. You're 9-years-old. Don't think about money. If you want something, I'll give it. If it's reasonable."
Zenko's eyes lit up. "What about a bath of a million jelly beans and Qoo?"
Tatsumaki got mischevious, feeling young. "Maybe. If it's grape-flavoured."
Zenko laughed. "That's silly! And I would take a stupid shower. No thanks."
Tatsumaki shrugged. "As a school prank, all the boys made ramen in the locker room sinks. It clogged up the sinks for months." Tatsumaki sighed. "I wish I'd put more ramen in the sinks."
Zenko laughed. "I thought you were strict and totally not fun."
"Tell your teachers that," Tatsumaki quipped, bringing the snack to the table. "C'mon eat. You must be healthy. Grow. Surpass me, little grasshopper."
"How tall are you?" Zenko asked.
Tatsumaki laughed ruefully. "I'm not."
Zenko sat beside her, nibbling on the rabbit-shaped apples. "I see these in people's bento's but… I didn't think they existed outside of a screen. Cool!" she poked at the snack. "Badd's hands are HUGE and he can't do delicate stuff!"
Tatsumaki grinned. "I love apples. Making different carvings and designs. Apple sandwiches, lattice pies, turtles, heart apples, swans." she pulled out her phone and showed some photos. "These are my latest creations."
Zenko marvelled at the different photos, jaw on the table. "Can we make all of them?"
Tatsumaki grimaced, reminded of her vacation. "I got time, Fuji," she assured.
Zenko's eyes lit up. "Really?! Can I play on your phone?"
Tatsumaki shrugged. "Yeah, but not too long. You're too young to fry your brain. Eat up, kid."
Zenko ate, commenting on things as Tatsumaki cleared the kitchen. Tatsumaki hummed absently, responding to questions Zenko had about life. She was so funny and smart and naive. Like a bunny.
"You know, you're good with kids. A teacher like you would make even me come to school happily." Zenko said casually, preening her doll.
A kid said Tatsumaki would be a good teacher. Take that, Fubuki! Ha!
"You're sure as death?" Tatsumaki said in delight.
"Maybe not that. But I'm sure." Zenko continued stuffing her face and it was messy but Tatsumaki didn't mind.
Tatsumaki laughed instead. Later on, it still bothered Tatsumaki that Badd wouldn't accept the new shirt she bought him. She felt like shit, standing at the door and not being let in. Looking back, being a moody teenager didn't feel as cool.
It was so uncool.
###
A couple of days later, Tatsumaki knocked on Dr. Gray's balcony door. There were brown bags of groceries filled with ingredients, dumplings and expensive matcha tea under her arms, floating behind her.
Tatsumaki hoped he took her offer of nikujaga. She was an expert on Love Fortune and nikujaga. Gross.
With hundreds of thrown out speeches, Tatsumaki was nervous and sorry. She didn't like feeling this way, it was heavy. After all that hustle and hassle, Tatsumaki didn't show up during Hero Appreciation Day but she was here now. So, she knocked again.
The balcony door slid open, revealing a very apathetic, muscle-bound Dr. Gray. He wore a distasteful purple t-shirt and blue track pants, also unhappy to be disturbed.
Why did her heart beat fast when seeing his stupid expression? She was just guilty. Just guilty.
"Oh. It's you." he frowned.
"I wanted to see the face of a l-loser." she mumbled.
Silence ensued. An awkward silence wherein he stared down at her. Awkwardly.
"Eh. My neck's starting to ache. When are you going to apologize?" he asked with a flare of dull impatience.
So bold, straight to the point just like Dr. Gray. He was irritating but she didn't want to fight, just talk. He… perhaps didn't want to talk in the next hundred years or so, judging from his expression.
"Just let me inside," Tatsumaki said sternly. "Apologizing… I'll do it… right now… in a minute… An hour… A day. For sure."
He winced. "Why didn't you just say the next life?"
Tatsumaki's face scrunched up. "Well so-rry that my life is much too chaotic to cater to you and your presence. I couldn't tell you anyway. Emails go unchecked, calling is a total bust because you won't answer either. Remember the 196 calls you ignored? Oooh, that angers me. and mind you, you didn't want to go like at all—"
"Hey—"
"I saved you from an event you don't like, with people you don't like. You're free. I saved you." Tatsumaki insisted. "Literally—"
Two fingers poked her forehead. "There you go making choices without me." he sighed. "Talking like I'm not there."
"I know you weren't, so shut up," Tatsumaki jutted her hands out. Two bubble tea drinks she bought were presented like presents. "Just take this and shut up. Maybe choke. Maybe don't."
He didn't budge, disappointment seared onto his features. Maybe. Not really.
Tatsumaki smiled positively. "C'mon. Don't be chaffed. I turned your possibly boring Hero Appreciation Day into an interesting one."
"I thought I'd get a lot of free stuff. I wanted handouts."
That was the reason he was upset with her. Ruuude! She shouldn't have expected more or less, really.
"I-I see. If you want a good meal, care to pitch in some money? We could go shop again and then I'll make you dinner." she asked hopefully.
"I don't make risky investments." he deadpanned. He eyed the grocery bags floating behind her. "You're feeding me?"
"I have extra." she shrugged.
"You're making me a homemade meal?"
"What else? I'm good at cooking. I've been chained to the stove for the past couple of days." Tatsumaki declared proudly.
"What's up with you?"
Was he mocking her? "Pfft. Do you care? Don't make me waste your time." she snapped.
He looked confused. "It's your day. Why's it a waste of time? How was your day?"
Tatsumaki blinked at him. Was he tricking her? She can't remember being asked for the longest time. Why was she getting flustered?
"My day… My day was good? I think. How was your day?" Tatsumaki spluttered awkwardly.
"Good." he nodded. "Killed some monsters. Read a manga. Had fun. Now a particular Zuzu's feeding me."
"There isn't more than one." Tatsumaki narrowed her eyes. "Right."
"I don't think I could manage more than one."
"No one else would give you this much food! Like ever." Tatsumaki said loudly. "Why would they? Besides, I've never run into ANYONE else in this neighbourhood. Maybe that cyborg killed all of them." she shuddered.
"He wouldn't do that." Dr. Gray told her.
"Huh?! He nearly murdered both of us!" Tatsumaki shrieked.
"He wouldn't do that to anyone else." Dr. Gray corrected himself blandly. "Do you have the habit of winning people over with food?"
Tatsumaki stared straight into his soul. "That's how I poison 'em."
"You're serious?"
Tatsumaki snorted. "No. Espers just crush people's hearts in their chests. Squeeze, squeeze." Tatsumaki flexed her fingers around the cups, amused. "Don't worry. Drink these while I cook. It'll take 45 minutes due to your shitty stove."
"Oi. Don't insult me if you want to come in."
"I ate breakfast alone. Eat lunch with me." Tatsumaki avoided his gaze. "Don't shirk out on my apology to you. I'm… wrong, let me make it up."
When they met eyes, he was the faintest of amused. "When you do something really awful, will you make my drink out of gold?" he teased.
Tatsumaki grinned. "Positive. I'd even add it to your food. Everything."
He leaned forward, face really close to hers. Those overly-intense eyes were suddenly a few inches from her own. It wasn't good for her heart— he froze her heartbeat still. Something irrational flashed through her mind but she quashed it. Stop thinking! Stop!
"Your hair looks… different," he said eventually.
Oh. He noticed. That was nice but he was so close. It stressed her out. And he was making her nervous. God. Damnit. Why?!
"Look at me all you want inside." Tatsumaki hissed. "My hands are cold so can I just come in now?!"
"I haven't said yes." he pulled back.
"Do you have to? I pulled a fast one and got some of the beef on sale. It was a bargaining day and you know… I did as you do. And you know, I liked it. Can I tell you more about it inside?"
Silence ensued. This time, a nice one that allowed her to leer without being a creep. He nodded approvingly and led her inside. That's really all she wanted; an invitation for once instead of forcing herself in.
###
Later on, she set up her workspace after washing all of his dishes. Setting up the ingredients in all the pots and pans was easy. He had everything she needed, which was surprising. She's usually the only prepared one in the room, let alone the city.
Tatsumaki was fine yet he lingered near the kitchen door, watching her flit around. It was weird. Was he waiting for her to do something?
"You could go," Tatsumaki said loudly, getting her precious carrots onto the cutting board. "Leave. I don't need anything from you as of the moment."
He cocked his head to the side. "You're using my kitchen in my house with my pot, dude."
"Fuck off, smartass. Do you need anything?" Tatsumaki eyed him.
"Nah. You, though—"
"I knew it! You're so clumsy on your own turf." Tatsumaki blew a kiss. "You need me."
"I don't need not-so-surprising horrible guests. You need help?" Dr. Gray stretched his arm casually. "At all?"
Tatsumaki scowled. "I'd rather get a footstool than ask you for help. Don't invade this paradise." Tatsumaki made the 'shoo, shoo' gesture.
And he stayed.
Tatsumaki got concerned. He was straightforward, just like her. He said what needed to be said. Tatsumaki hovered, not him. She was unnerved and giddy. Some of the unlikely possibilities jumped around her mind… Was he watching her for the sake of watching her?
She smiled internally then scolded herself. Her carrots got minced a bit too much but this weirdness gave her energy to burn. She felt like she got charged by lithium.
The leering wasn't horrible.
At last, he cleared his throat. "It's kinda off to have someone cooking for me again," he commented.
"What, you possessive over your kitchen? Get over it! I'm here."
"No. Not that," he assured vaguely. "It's been a while since a girl's done this for me."
"Next time, you cook. Next week. Problem solved. Go crazy and pretend you're a damned chef. Don't fuck up our meal." Tatsumaki huffed. "I could print off recipes and drop them here. Boom. It won't feel off."
"You'd do that for me?
"Yeah."
"Hm."
Tatsumaki sighed as she felt him staring at her after a while. The flattery moulded into this unease. "I will goat tie you with your own guts if you don't fucking quit it."
"No, you use words of expectation," he said consideringly. "Subtle."
"That's what you do when you want to see someone, duh." Tatsumaki rolled her eyes. "Ironically, get out of my sight, I'm cooking."
Wait. Tatsumaki looked up suddenly. A woman cooked for him? This hermit of society didn't look like someone to have a girl to do domestics with him— shit. She wasn't jealous. No. No— but who was that woman?
This woman wasn't his mom. He said that his mother didn't cook during their chats. Anyway… Just… how many girls made it to his balcony?
"You sure you don't need help?" he asked after ten minutes of lingering.
Tatsumaki stabbed the knife into the cutting board— plastic of course. "I don't. If I have to repeat myself, I'm gonna drown you in a pool." Tatsumaki hissed.
"Pools have a height limit, you know. You sure you could get in?"
"I can! Hmph." Tatsumaki glared at him. "I'm gonna prove you wrong. We'll go to the pool!"
"Taking you to the pool? What kind of punishment game is that?"
Tatsumaki's strong front crumbled a bit as she shifted from side to side. "I would feel lucky. Like I just won the lottery. Waves. B-Beaches. Sun. Yaay…"
"Yo. You okay?"
Tatsumaki stiffened. "Positive. So leave me alone." Tatsumaki cut the last of the carrots, dumping them into the pot with other garnishes.
"Uh, if you want to have fun while at the pool, invite your friends. You seem… unsettled." he said carefully.
She grimaced. "Do you think I'm crazy? That I'm a psycho. That I'm mad. No way. Besides, I don't need them but— but I don't have many friends," Tatsumaki huffed into the potato she sliced.
"You're lying."
"Why would I tell a lonely lie?" Tatsumaki looked up. He was being sarcastic and his face showed it. "Oh, be quiet."
He chuckled.
"Shut up!"
Tatsumaki boiled the konnyaku to remove the fishy smell on one burner. In another pot, she added onions. The potatoes were in uneven slices and the green beans added pops of colour. Maybe she'll leave some left-over as a garnish for later.
"You actually look like you know what you're doing," he commented casually.
"Be quiet. Shut up. DIE!" Tatsumaki pointed the knife at him. "I can make that happen quickly. Careful, you'll be another ingredient in the pot."
He leaned on the counter, arms crossed like he was bolted to that spot. "Sounds charming when you threaten people while making their lunch," he said, unafraid.
"It sounds even better when I swear. Wanna hear it?" she smiled sweetly. "Come on, I have the best inventory in my dictionary."
Dr. Gray pursed his lips, peering at the pot of boiling noodles and meat. "I like nikujaga with more meat."
"Huh? I added the appeal of letting you devour two animals at once. Can your carnivorous heart shut up? You don't deserve more meat," she said with a stormy scowl as he went off to read manga and fuck off.
Usually, she didn't care about other people's opinions but… sigh— it was his meal, Tatsumaki reasoned. Guilt settled in her gut. Fine.
Begrudgingly, Tatsumaki added the rest of the meat, angry after washing her hands thoroughly. Tatsumaki wanted to have a more vegetarian-style meal. He needs some minerals and vitamins from veggies. Did he even eat veggies?
Mumbling into a wooden cutting board, Tatsumaki chopped up more crisp green onions.
He needed to be healthy. Maybe his hair would grow back if he had foods like the sweet potato she used. He needed vitamin A to speed up hair growth and prevent hair follicles from regressing. If he had any. Ha, ha, HA.
She didn't hear him enter but sensed him when his hand braced her lower back. He steadied himself as he reached for the stove knobs. Light, unintentional and meaningless but she was half-obsessed with it.
Leaning over her, he hissed at the temperature. "Don't put the temperature on too high." he turned the knob quickly. "You'll get a burn or an injury."
He's close. It never bothered her before but damn— it was hard to focus. Tatsumaki pointedly chopped green onions in a jittering pattern.
"You don't know what type of injuries I can handle!" Tatsumaki barked.
"You shouldn't have any injuries." he pulled back to check the pots. "Ah! You put more meat in. Good choice. This meal is complete." he smiled, radiating gratitude and happiness.
He just stole her with his eyes. She wanted him to spend the rest of his life laughing. He hasn't made a single kind expression but being beside him is comforting.
Never show that face to anyone else. When you make that face, I don't care if you glare at me the rest of the time, Tatsumaki decided.
Smiles were ordinary, common and dull works. Something she's already seen too much. But his smile… Dr. Gray looks handsome doing something so mundane.
Caring is creepy. Smiling is for the weak. Happiness comes with the smell of blood. Tatsumaki always said that to herself. Repeating the words until she believed it.
However, it smelled like home-cooked food and she cared. No blood was here. Maybe smiling was for the weak but also for the handsome, too. She cared too much. She accepted that he didn't smile.
He looked decorative when seen up close.
He shifted away and her gaze snapped to her tingling fingers. Was this a side-effect of him; tingling fingers? With a harsh momentary throb, her unnaturally pale skin had a reddish tint. Blood.
The cut, oh. It's ugly, red, throbbing on her finger. She cut herself with a knife on his green beans. Oh god. His food— her apology was ruined.
What type of cliche bullshit was this! Cliches didn't happen in real life. What the hell?! Her gasp made Dr. Gray whip his neck to look at her. When the situation registered, he looked at her with shock.
"I didn't get any blood in your nikujaga," Tatsumaki exclaimed, arms up in surrender.
That shock morphed into confusion. "I'm more concerned about your hand right now."
"It's nothing big."
"Zuzu, it's not small either," he countered. "You're just delicate. Very small. If you lose one drop of blood, that's it."
Tatsumaki scoffed. "Get real."
He ignored her protests, looking around the kitchen. "Arghh. I gotta have bandages somewhere here. Where, though?" he pondered.
Dr. Gray bustled to open a cupboard. He was relieved when he found a dusty box of ban-aids. Tatsumaki grimaced. "Why's it like that?"
"The last time I used band-aids was a year and a half ago," he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.
"I will die if you give me those band-aids. I don't need them."
Even so, Tatsumaki snatched the box from his grasp, looking inside. The band-aids were fine. What kind of lucky star was he born under?
Mumbling, he took the knife by the tip and the handle. "I didn't think it was sharp. Hasn't ever cut me— oh. Shit."
He split the iron knife in half. Dr. Gray had a completely different universe than she did. He left fingerprints on the iron tip.
With their personalities, it was impossible to be friends. It was too late to avoid each other. She'll keep him around. She wanted to. It terrified her.
Why did she swoon over him? Fuck that. He was a punk who smiled— nothing big. Amai Mask smiled. But… not like Dr. Gray. This will bite her in the ass. She doesn't even know how.
Soon after, he took over the cooking scene. It was quite rude since she was ushered to sit down at the low table.
"Don't pout, kid." Dr. Gray handed her another puzzle to complete. "Here."
It looked new. Easy, packaged, bright and new. Tatsumaki sat up taller. "Wait, what about your other puzzle? I want to finish it—"
"I'm not into puzzles," he told her. "Just finish that one. I'll get the plates."
Why did he have a new, lower difficulty puzzle? Tatsumaki set up the table, eyeing him as he joined her. Making conversation felt harder, somehow.
"I-I did something outrageously nice because of you the other day. My identity died in my backyard. That's your fault. You killed me." she stated, setting his chopsticks just right. "I think I'm changed."
"Probably not." he whistled.
Tatsumaki was going to admit he was right. Nevermind! He's so weird and uninterested. "Y-You! I'm not speaking to you." Tatsumaki sat, puffing her cheeks.
"You don't speak to poor people?" he teased. "Let's eat now."
Tatsumaki ignored him. Dr. Gray took everything so lightly. He returned with the drinks and side dishes after a couple of trips. Then he came back with the pot of nikujaga. Normal people needed oven mittens but he held the bottom bare-handedly without flinching.
Yep. A different universe. Tatsumaki was pissed but apprehensive as he filled his bowl and tested it out.
"Wow." he deadpanned. "I'm not dead."
"This is how you show your gratitude?!"
"It's not as if I begged you to cook." he chewed a bit more.
"Do you want to die?"
Dr. Gray didn't answer since he kept on chewing. It was pleasing to watch him eat. Did she really hate his mouth? She wrestled with the puzzle while eating dumplings. He casually told her where the pieces went while he ate too much.
"The kids I have now…" Tatsumaki said loudly. "They eat a lot. Like watching an animal about to hibernate. Gross."
"Whaa— k-kids?" Then he coughed like a million times.
"You want some new lungs or can I continue?"
Cough! Cough! "Excuse me." Dr. Gray kept on cawing like a crow, choking on his meat and rice. "You're their… guardian? A mom now? What happened?"
"I'm like an empathetic, carefree, older friend. Not a parent. I'll be who I needed when I was younger... Monsters attacked and now there are two brats in my mansion."
"They're alive, right?" he asked concernedly.
"Yes! They're alive. They're loud."
"No. You're loud."
"Fuck off!" Tatsumaki looked into his eyes, challenging him. "You think I'm not capable?"
"I think you can care about other people. Too much. You did make a rude entrance into my life and you stay now," Dr. Gray shrugged, "and feed me."
Tatsumaki sighed. "I didn't think it would turn out this way. I even got proposed to by Amai Mask. 30 engagement rings on the floor. Like diamonds. Everywhere."
"Marry him."
"Amai Mask is a bad hero, boyfriend and guy. Opposed to—" you, Tatsumaki coughed. "I wouldn't cook for him or ask him to go to Hero Appreciation Day. I wouldn't take him to a cemetery unless I kill him."
"Don't marry him."
"I have you. There's a reason I don't bother him at his table." Tatsumaki huffed.
There was an odd beat of silence as he looked up from his plate.
She continued. "Amai's a person opposite of us. He only cares about money, singing songs and being a celebrity. He wants to be beautiful while killing and being stabby— all evil. He doesn't care about anyone."
He looked annoyed. "Don't be around him."
"I'm way ahead of you. Amai Mask forced a kid, Badd, to patrol City C when he didn't want to lick Amai Mask's shoes. Amai Mask made a fool of me then the brat had to sacrifice a whole day of fun with his brattier sister. I volunteered to look after City C for him after curry and soba. I offered him my home, a spot at Psychic Academy on the condition of if Fubuki's there to make them productive members of society."
"Your sister?" he asked.
"Yes. Famous Fubuki. I've told you about this. Why am I even telling you about this since you don't listen?" Tatsumaki groaned, clamming up.
"I was listening. Did your sister agree to raise those kids in your huge house?"
Something went ice cold in her. She heard it. Nothing will be the same. She ruined it all. Forever.
"No. She moved out to never see me again. Made nasty remarks. Won't ever see me again." Tatsumaki said, poking around her food. "She's giving up on me."
"Before she gives up, she'll think of the reason she held on so long. Don't worry." Dr. Gray said mildly.
"Really?"
"C'mon, eat. You're thin," he said. "Can't see your sister again all thin and short, yeah?"
Tatsumaki meekly swallowed a carrot, the back of her eyes throbbing with emotion. He believed she would see her sister again. How sweet even if he was a dick about it. Sweet. She didn't think Dr. Gray would take her side. It's usually ALL Tatsumaki's fault. A mysterious deadlock of blame on her, some raging idiot.
Tatsumaki looked mean and acted mean with a skull too thick to notice someone else's pain but… Something that had been lifeless within Tatsumaki had started to melt away.
Anyway, Tatsumaki sighed. "Long story short, Zenko, Badd's sister, hunted me down all the way from my house in City A to City C just to see me. Badd joined us. The kids saw the letter. Chose me despite everything said in the letter and burned holes into my pockets. Now they live in my home."
"Are you having fun?"
"I'm not. They are." Tatsumaki shrugged. "Zenko and Badd are living the life of orphans who hadn't had fun. Arcade. Good restaurants. Shopping sprees."
The kids should try their best to strive. The more difficult one's situation, the bigger one should dream. Tatsumaki will protect their dreams. She let them set foot in a much bigger world than hers when she was young.
Tatsumaki wasn't used to the idiotic music Badd blasted. Zenko broke her stuff. Glass was so much more dangerous. The paperwork Badd did was now hers. She couldn't lose anything. She wanted to call Atlas and ask about healthcare and the family registry. She couldn't. Ever.
It seemed tempting.
Tatsumaki had to focus on them and their wants and needs. Badd was an asshole and Zenko was so curious. Questions and questions all day. Tatsumaki also felt more guilt when not at "home". Like what would they eat, did someone attack her home or did they need something. She wanted to get the phones, too, but will they get addicted. So much to think about.
Dr. Gray was a bit put off. "Don't just buy them stuff. Just be there for them."
"My gift's there for them, that's what matters."
"That's not… Nevermind."
Tatsumaki ignored how put off he seemed by her last answer. "We hang out in the garden now. I'll take it up as a hobby."
He was pleased. "Gardens are more than just plants."
"You're just a dude with a cactus. The most low maintenance of low maintenance plants." Tatsumaki snickered.
"This isn't a competition."
Tatsumaki frowned thoughtfully. "I think I've killed so many ecosystems because of my hero rescues," Tatsumaki cocked her head to the side. "I'm guessing... You've left worse. It's going to bite you. Repent."
He brushed the warning off like dust on his shoulder. "I saved them, that's all that matters."
"But think of what Car Parts did to City Z's ghost town. Can we check if the wildlife is dead before the game show?"
"Sure."
Tatsumaki thought there'd be more push-back or a snide comment about her skipping Hero Appreciation Day. She wanted to make it up to him.
"But Car Parts is a mess." Tatsumaki smacked the table. "Car Parts needs to be my disciple. He's obviously just disillusioned. Do robots feel pain?"
"I don't know, do you?" he asked.
Tatsumaki stuck her tongue out. "Don't you guys meet tomorrow?"
"I'm going to turn him down. I think he's actually serious about becoming my "student". Too many weirdos have been coming to my house." he said bitterly.
"I wanna meet him!" Tatsumaki declared. "You won't stop me."
"Nah, you'll bother him—" He looked up suddenly, a gleam in his eyes. "Come over."
"I'm not weird." Tatsumaki snapped.
He begged to differ. "Eh. You drew a smiley face on the last unused onion."
"You could regrow onions! And garlic gloves, romaine lettuce, leeks too." Tatsumaki protested. "Be mindful!"
"Your hair reminds me of upside-down leeks," he commented. "Leeks are pretty—"
"Pretty ugly." Tatsumaki interrupted, yelling. "You don't even have hair. What place do you have to insult people's hair?! People in high school always had a stick in their ass because of my hair colour. I got suspended at least five times before the administration realized this is my natural hair colour. It was insults galore all the time. My hair doesn't look like onions or smell like them! God! I'm not an onion head girl or post it or ghost. So fuck off and don't say shit like that! Fuck!"
Dr. Gray watched her impassively. "I'm not a jerk from high school."
Tatsumaki shoved the puzzle pieces into its box. "Whatever you say."
"I'm saying I wasn't insulting you," he emphasized after heavy moments of silence.
Tatsumaki got up and he sprung to his feet then darted to the kitchen. After some jostling and curses, the idiot baldy returned with a new hairstyle. The man tied upside down leeks around his bald head with a string. He had grass hair like her, ridiculous. Ridiculous.
"See, it doesn't look bad. All braided and stuff." he attested, looking bad. "We look good."
His head has never been shinier. Leeks no longer belonged in salads, classic soups, stews, sushi, ramen and pizza. It belonged on his head. What the fuck was she doing, being all sentimental about the past? He had this contained, stoic energy with the undercurrent of sadness.
"Oi. What are you thinking about now?" he prodded after the silence went on.
"How many years it'd shave off my life if someone came in and saw us together," Tatsumaki disclosed, a hand muffling her small chortles.
"Hey!"
"What, it's funny!"
Tatsumaki couldn't stop laughing and it nearly cost her ribs. Her chest hurt. Her knees were tapioca pudding. She was high on her giggles. He carried away all of her rationality. And Tatsumaki wanted him now. She really wanted him. Mmm, nothing more than that.
She approached him carefully. "You," she poked his chest three times, "aren't so lame anymore."
His expression twitched in confusion. "What? You didn't know?"
"My eyes only saw an idiot till now." Tatsumaki reached up then made a plaited braid in her hair. "There. Now we match, don't we?"
"We look damn good." he nodded.
"Outstanding." she played with the braid.
Getting sombre, he watched her curiously. "If you want to, we won't cook with onions." he offered.
Ha. That offer tickled her brain a bit. People should stop eating onions. Their texture is weird, they looked slimy and they irritated her eyes. Tatsumaki detested them. The pained way he watched her told she couldn't stop him from eating onions.
Tatsumaki pretended to mull over his words. "You like them. I don't. You don't have to give them up. It's okay. I'll put them in your meals when we eat."
He looked relieved. "Good. 'Cause onion soup is sacred. Dodged a bullet there."
It's the thought that counts. He would stop eating onions for her. Tatsumaki couldn't forbid others from enjoying them.
"Do you talk to anyone from High School?" he asked casually.
"Do you?" she threw back.
"Not anymore. We lost touch," he said quietly.
Tatsumaki cleared her throat. "You, know, if you care, just force it. Make them see that their life won't be the same without you." Tatsumaki recited sagely.
He nodded. "Do you, talk to anyone from back then?"
Tatsumaki gagged. "Hell no! Those losers are working 9 to 5 jobs with miserable marriages and miserable lives. I think…" Tatsumaki shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I didn't talk to them in high school nor after it. The reunion is a couple of months away. July."
"The school year ends in March, though." he pointed out.
Tatsumaki laughed, weirdly emotional. "The bastards who doubt me do interviews about me. It's ironic they ruined my high school life but now they depend on me to save their lives and cities."
"That's one way to see it." he shrugged.
"Like what if I wasn't here anymore because of them?" Tatsumaki wondered idly.
"Alive?" he questioned, suddenly serious.
"No. I mean in the hero business, a public servant." Her eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean alive?"
He shrugged again. "The best way to get revenge is to outlive your enemies."
Tatsumaki scowled. "I'm not going to that reunion. They'll never know just how hard I work. I won't let them."
Dr. Gray watched her for a long time like something suddenly made sense. "You've worked hard."
Tatsumaki let out an offended squawk. "You haven't noticed?
"If any of those jerks call you onion girl or post it or ghost, we'll have a little chat," he said in a non-threatening way.
Amusement tugged at the corners of her lips. "A chat?" she mused.
"A small one."
"I love little talks."
Tatsumaki wanted to talk to him like this on Hero Appreciation Day. There were almost painful amounts of butterflies while she settled down. They didn't leave, even while standing across from him like this.
Tatsumaki wanted a leek to take home, a memento of this dinner. "Give me one," she called out, refusing to jump for him.
Dr. Gray held the leeks above her head. "Wha— I need them. How am I gonna start growing them if I have none left?"
"I'm only taking one. Don't be shitty. Let me have one! Nevermind, you bald money-pincher." Tatsumaki hissed.
"I missed out. I could've had my own empire of plants instead of buying them."
"I don't think you'd have space in here. Plant them on the roof." Tatsumaki suggested.
"There're no stairs." he shook his head. "Pass."
"Pass?" Tatsumaki's jaw fell open. "You are so lazy! You can jump millions of feet in the air and you want to take the stairs? That's what's preventing you from seeing the roof?"
"It just doesn't seem like I'm allowed."
"Your motto in life should be, do what you want, live on the edge and keep on looking like a hard-boiled egg." Tatsumaki frowned at him. "Now the food's cold. I'll go warm it up and take the leftovers."
"No. Sit. It's no matter. It'll still taste… okay." he hesitated before the last word.
"Okay? Don't force yourself to eat it. The noodles are soggy— If you want… to… maybe we could go see the sakura trees. They're at full bloom next week and—"
He held up a hand. "I don't go see sakura blooms. Ever," he emphasized the last word.
"Me neither but—"
"No. I don't want to go with you."
Tatsumaki grappled for words, a way to convince him. "But isn't… Don't you like plants? And— I feel like I haven't gotten my apology through to you." Tatsumaki ducked. "It's a simple matter of seeing pretty things. It has a fighting spirit and— and they represent the transience of life."
"No thanks," he deadpanned.
Tatsumaki felt awkward and sad that she wasn't a nikujaga expert. "Why did you eat the nikujaga? If it was bad, why didn't you tell me?"
He dismissed her concern. "I would've eaten it anyway. Can't waste quality meat."
Ah. Being economical. Got it. "I just could've bought you dinner at a fancy restaurant. Would that have been better?"
"You know, you can't buy me with money," he said.
It's not like she was trying to buy him. She shared what she had and that happened to be gifts. They're meaningful and carefully chosen!
"Can I ask you a dumb question?"
"Better than anyone I know."
Tatsumaki frowned a bit. "What do you think of me?"
"Isn't it obvious," he said blandly. "We're not actually a couple, so you don't got responsibility towards me."
Tatsumaki felt dumped. Again. For some reason. Anything he said tonight felt soured and stupid. Ruined. He was a ruiner. Tatsumaki shouldn't let her imagination run wild. He probably just said whatever came to mind. Those words were meaningless. Attaching meaning to them was stupid.
Tatsumaki nodded. "I guess we don't… but I want—"
"We're on the same page. You know a lot about me but let's not get familiar. The public will be satisfied if we meet once a month." he nodded.
But Tatsumaki wouldn't be satisfied. Hell no was she settling like that. As if! She wasn't a quitter. She couldn't step away now.
###
-End Chapter-
A/N— Hello people. I've been sitting on this chapter for three months but couldn't get the nerve to post. Idk why. Got nervous and lazy and stressed since I have diploma exams. But now my baby Tats is different and we get ready for the next phase— operation Tatsmaki luuuves Saitama.
Vocab
*Qoo, a popular drink in japan owned by CocaCola and is similar to fruit juice. Kids love it. It's available as a fountain drink in Japan.
*Nikujaga is a wintertime dish that is seen as comfort food. Most often served with beef, it's a very popular dish that families make together. I saw this article survey where it was ranked in the top ten foods Japanese men would like their girlfriends to make them.