April 12, 1912

NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! Why, dear diary should I be punished. It was Rose, all Rose's fault. God damn her to the fiery pits of hell.

Why did Jack have to fall in love with her? Why? I should never have even met him. I wish the Titanic will sink, NO! The UNSINKABLE ship does sink. Dragging all the people I hate with it! Jack, mother, father. Grandmamma.

Including Rose! I wish her face gets cut open by those propellers she admirers so much. Her cold violet, red blood oozing down her face, and into her poor pitiful mouth where she says devilish things to make people bend to her power.

Not me! Not Winifred Morrill, oh no! When people are boarding the life boats to save their pathetic lives, the last thing she will see on earth is my face. All the pain she put me through…..the agony, she will see in my face. She will be calling for help, and I will be smiling a huge smile, with teeth baring.

April 13, 1912. 1:34 p.m.

Nightmares. Cold, evil nightmares. People frozen like the ice-cream Libby makes. White, cold, and frozen. No sign of life at all. A dead thing. I think the nightmares had something to do with what I written in you yesterday dearest journal .

The most terrifying nightmare I had so far is that I see Rose in a black funeral gown. There is a see- through vial covering her face. Her face, all hacked open on one side with worms and maggots in the skin going through holes of flesh out an in.

Then there is Jack. Frozen. Ice all over him; just the white of his eyes looking at me. Under his left breast where his heart is supposed to be is a big empty hole. Rose is holding it in her hands. Laughing and snarling, she starts playing with his heart and starts licking the blood off it. She is squealing with delight.

"I got Jack's heart….I got Jack's heart." She then walks over to me and rubs Jack's heart on my lips. I try pulling away, but she grabs my arm and digs her nails into my arm laughing wickedly. Her eyes light up with fire. She still is repeating, "I got Jacks heart… I got Jack's heart."

I get away from Rose's grasp, except I keep backing up. Finally I can't back up any more and I fall over the railing. I keep falling and look up to see Rose starring down at me laughing. Jack stands beside her and kisses her while laughing at me and putting one of his hands out, "trying" to catch me.

I plunge into the ocean; except it isn't exactly an ocean… It's an ocean of blood. There is ice-covered people all around me grabbing at me. I start sinking slowly, but then I increase my speed. On my stomach I twist till I'm on my back side. Then I see it.

The great ship Titanic starts to descend on me. I try to open my mouth to scream, but blood comes into my lungs filling them up with the revolting substance. Titanic is about to smash me when I put my hands to my eyes to cover my face from my fate. I wake up screaming.

Lulu told me she had to calm me down a least four times last night. I was in shock so bad that Agatha had to take Eddy out of the room to sleep with her, because I was scaring him so badly.

Around the fourth time I screamed, Lulu said mother telegraphed the health infirmary at once to get a doctor. I believe I remembered some of it; a tall lean man with a twisted bushy mustache told me to stick out my tongue.

I remember having the taste of wood being shoved down my throat. All this happened around two in the morning. Another thing I remember is Lulu telling me I screamed so loud I awoke everyone who was on either side of us.

Grandmamma had to go out in her nightdress explaining that a third class passenger gave me a disease. Which not to alarm anyone is not contagious. All of it a lie.

Now I'm here all alone in bed, because the doctor thought what my grandmamma said was true.

"She is delusional, and has a Nightmare symptom. There for Ms. Morrill should stay in bed." With that he left. As well as my family to go have afternoon tea.

It wouldn't matter anyway if I'm in bed. I would have to stay in the suite, because I went down to steerage last night. Hmm… so curious. I wonder if that boy is still around. That is also one person who has been on mind lately. I still can't get over his eyes.

- I'm going to take a nap dearest journal. Maybe now I can get some rest. GOD please may I have no more nightmares.