Kara threw her bag into the empty locker, and it hit the bottom with a satisfying clunk. She had never imagined her first off-ground assignment would be like this. She was supposed to be excited, not dreading every day until this three year stint was over.

It was supposed to be simple. She was to report to the Triton after her honeymoon while Zak went off to his placement. They would be apart for three years, but after that, they should have enough rank to request positions that would keep them on the same colony. There wasn't supposed to be a malfunction in the water tanks of Triton, taking it out of commission for at least three months. She wasn't supposed to be reassigned. They weren't supposed to be here together.

"You're her, aren't you?"

Kara turned to look at the slender brunette standing in the open hatch. If she remembered right, this was one of the Raptor ECOs. "Edmonson, right?"

"Call sign's Racetrack. Most people call me Meg, though."

"All right, Racetrack. Would you care to explain what the frak you're talking about?"

"Word on the ship is the Commander's son got jilted at the altar by some Viper pilot who had been his Academy flight instructor. The deck crew told me she got assigned to our ship and was supposed to be here today. I was just wondering if you were her."

"Name's Kara Thrace. Most people call me Starbuck, and my personal life is none of your fraking business. So, I would suggest you, the deck crew, and whoever else might have a death wish just stay out of it."

Racetrack's eyes went wide. "Wow. You are not what I pictured."

"If you think I'm going to entertain you gossip whores, then you're wrong. I'm here to fly. It's what I do. My personal life doesn't even factor in to it."

"Gods, I'm sorry I even asked. I just wanted to know if it was true."

A man's voice interrupted, causing Racetrack and Kara to stand down from their little confrontation. "You should have just asked me, Meg. I was the one jilted after all."

Kara had to resist the urge to run as the familiarity of Zak's teasing voice stirred something inside of her. She was going to be sick.

"Could you leave us alone for a little bit?" Zak asked, stepping into the bunkroom.

"No problem. Just make sure you're in the hangar at 0700. We have a restocking run to make."

Racetrack was Zak's ECO. Kara filtered that little bit of information away. She had a lot of ground to make up if she was going to figure out how to keep herself sane for the next three years. It already felt like she was intruding upon Zak's home and she had only been here for an hour. The hatch door slammed shut, causing her to jump.

"So, how've you been, Kara?"

Kara looked at her ex-fiancé in the locker mirror and sighed. She was tired of the way the gods liked to frak with her mind. "Do you really want to do this?"

"I want to talk with you," he said calmly. "And it would be nice if you could look me straight in the eye while we did this, but it's not necessary." Zak paused and when she still didn't move, he sighed. "You can't run away from this like you do everything else."

"Fine," Kara hissed, slamming the locker shut. "If you want me to ask, I'll just ask. Are you going to make my life hell for the next three years?" As good as it would probably make Zak feel, she knew that any revenge on his part wasn't going to make her feel more guilty than she already did. If he was smart, he'd know that.

"I'm not going to make your life hell as you so colorfully put it, and honestly, I think I have every right to be stubborn and angry about this. I'm not responsible for making this situation ugly. That was all you if I remember correctly."

Kara bit back the urge to apologize as the guilt practically choked her. Her mother had always told her 'I'm sorry' were the two most useless words in their language, and for once, Kara agreed. No argument had ever really been resolved with those words. "What do you want from me, Zak?"

"An explanation would be nice. You and I were getting married, Kara. We were two minutes away from closing the deal, and you ran away. I thought you loved me."

"I did," she whispered. "I mean, I do."

"Then why would you do that?"

Kara bit her lip. She knew this moment was going to come, but she didn't think it would be this soon. She wished she had more time to think up what he wanted to hear because it certainly wasn't the truth. Somehow, 'I met your brother and was so insanely attracted to him that I actually thought about calling off the wedding and then I realized what a horrible person that made me and I knew you deserved better than that so I ran for both our sakes' just wasn't going to cut it. Neither was 'I dreamed of fraking your brother the night before we were going to take our eternal vows in front of the gods and that image wouldn't leave my head'. "It was for the best."

"Says who?" Zak yelled. "I mean, I know I certainly don't think it was for the best. What would have been for the best was you telling me you were scared shitless of marrying me."

"I wasn't scared," Kara whispered.

"Then what were you? Because the look I saw on your face that day was fear, Kara. I know it because I've seen you look that way at me a million times before. Every time I broke down one of your walls, I got that damned look. I used to think it was cute."

Kara moved to sit on the nearest bunk. It was hard to do this when he was standing so close to her. Her love for him was nowhere near gone, and it probably never would be. He had been the first man to really show her what it meant to be wanted. That was just another reason that she couldn't let herself fall back into her love for him. He deserved so much more. "We both knew that this was silly from the beginning, Zak. I was just a conquest for you, and you were another way I could buck the rules."

"That's low even for you, Thrace," Zak growled.

"It's the truth. You know this only started because you wanted to see if you could get the hotshot piloting instructor into the sack. You told me that yourself a few months ago. I thought it was cute at the time."

Zak shook his head. "That might be how it started, Kara, but it didn't stay that way for long. I fell in love with you. Frak, I'm still in love with you, even after the shit you pulled!"

Kara felt her stomach clench. That was just about the worst thing he could have said, and it was also the one thing she had to hear. He still loved her after she ruined what should have been the happiest day in his life. A man like that was never meant to be with a girl like her. She had done the right thing, leaving him behind. "Zak…" she started.

"I wanted to give you this," he whispered, grabbing her hand.

Kara felt her heart knot as he closed her fingers around the silver ring. He probably meant the engagement band to remind her of what she had thrown away, but now the only thing she could see was the way she would have betrayed him if it hadn't been for this tiny scrap of metal. She had been about to give in to her ridiculous lust for his brother when she felt this ring against her skin. That reminder had given her the strength to walk down the aisle, but in the end, she couldn't follow through. "I can't take this back."

"I don't want it, Kara." Zak gave her a small smile. "It was always yours anyway."

"I can't do this," Kara said, staring down at the metal in her hand. "I'm not strong enough to do this again."

"You are the strongest woman I know."

Kara looked up at him, and her heart broke a little more. Zak Adama was a good man. He thought she was worried about risking her heart again if they gave it another chance. He was willing to support her through the mood shifts, constant indecision, and complete lack of self-confidence. Too bad she wasn't talking about loving him. Kara knew she could easily let herself fall right back into place by Zak's side. That still wouldn't change the fact that in the end, he would end up hurt and she would end up alone. He deserved more than a girl like her, and she knew she wouldn't be strong enough to give him the option again.

She stood up and pulled her locker open. The ring made a clang as it hit the back of the locker and rested somewhere on the shelf. She hoped Zak got her point.

"You're shutting me out again, Kara."

"I know," she said. It was funny. For the first time in her life, she didn't have to lie. The truth would be much more effective in breaking his heart. "Listen, Zak. You were sweet to give me the fantasy of a happy life for so long, and I appreciate it. It's just not the kind of life I was cut out for. I'm a pilot, not a wife and mother. I belong in the air."

"I wouldn't have grounded you."

"You wouldn't have meant to, but in the end, that's what always happened. I can see the way this would have ended up if we got married, and it isn't pretty. It's better for both of us that we just end it here."

Zak looked into her eyes for a moment, and after seeing whatever he was looking for, he gave her a small nod. "Can I ask you one last question?"

"Shoot," Kara said, banging the locker closed.

"Did you ever really love me?" When she didn't answer, he kept going. "Because I would never do what you did if I truly loved a person. It isn't the leaving that hurts so much. It's the fact that I know how wrong you are and there's nothing I can do to change that." He gave her a sad smile and turned to leave.

"I… I'm sorry," she said weakly, turning to face the closed lockers again. She could hear him pause, but then the hatch opened. Kara managed to keep herself together until she heard the hatch shut. Then she was a mess of tears and pain. Her body collapsed onto a bunk.

Frak! She didn't even have a bunk yet and her life was already two steps away from being unbearable.

Kara felt a gentle pressure on the mattress and pulled her hands off her face to see a man sitting at the bottom of the bunk. "What the frak are you doing?"

"Well, I was coming in to catch a little downtime in my bunk, and now I'm wondering what I did to warrant such a beautiful woman in my bed."

Kara felt her cheeks go red. Of course this was someone's bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She went to move off the bunk when the pilot's hand rested lightly on her shoulder, holding her in place. "Relax, Thrace. I'm not going to bump you out on your ass in your condition."

"My condition?"

"You know the blubbering and all that."

"I do not blubber," she hissed.

"Whatever."

Kara narrowed her eyes at the man sitting across from her. "By the way, how the frak do you know who I am? And do not tell me it was that fraking rumor mill you people are running here."

"It gets boring out here in space. When you hear the Commander's son is being stationed on the same ship and he's bringing along the woman who left him at the altar, any newcomer to Galactica becomes very interesting. Then, I pass the youngest Adama in the corridor, his temper flaring every which way, and there's a pretty blond in the bunkroom obviously upset about something. I figured it wouldn't be a longshot to say you were Kara."

"No one gets to call me by my first name," she insisted. It was something she had decided on her way to the airspace of Caprica. Kara sounded too much like the woman she had always dared to dream she would become. Starbuck was harder, much more the person she would always be.

"Well, I guess I'm no one then because I like the name and it's what I'm going to call you. Besides, your call sign is absolutely ridiculous. Starbuck? What does that even mean?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kara demanded abruptly.

"I don't have any reason to be mean. You haven't done anything to me specifically. The Adama family? That's a whole other issue."

"I had good reason to do it," she whispered. She hated how these people had already passed judgment without even meeting her.

"I'm sure you did." It surprised her to realize he was being sincere. He was the first person to believe her when she said she had run away with Zak's interests at heart.

The man shifted to look at the closed hatch, and Kara suddenly realized she was alone in a bunkroom with a pilot she didn't know. Granted, he was attractive, but she had just started her placement here. She didn't want to frak it up already. "You know who I am, but I don't know who you are."

"Lieutenant Karl C. Agathon. Everyone just calls me Helo."

Kara studied him for a moment before shaking her head. "Nope. I'm going to call you Karl," she insisted. That brought a smile to his face, which she quickly mirrored.

"The bunk above me is open," Helo informed her as he slipped off his jacket. "You can either move your sorry ass up there or you can nap with me. I don't care, but I warn you I hog the covers."

Kara felt a giggle pass through her lips before she could stop it. She rolled her eyes as she got to her feet. "One question, Karl. What do you do on this ship?"

"I'm a Raptor ECO." Helo watched as Kara cringed. "What's wrong with that?"

"I fly Vipers. Vipers and Raptors don't mix."

"Damn. I was just beginning to think I had a future triad partner on my hands. I've been searching for someone for so long."

Kara smiled. "Well then, maybe you and I need to prove everyone wrong. I mean, why can't Vipers and Raptors mix?"

Helo yawned as he turned to face the wall. "There's a triad game tonight in the mess. I'll come find you and take you down there."

As Helo drifted off to sleep, Kara leaned against the table and watched him. She didn't know who this guy was or whether or not she could actually be his friend. All she knew was he was a gift from the gods. Finally, she found someone who could care less about her mistakes. Maybe he was supposed to be her way to get over Zak. A few fraks with a looker like this Karl Agathon character and she might be completely cured.

Either way, she figured she just made her first friend in space.

Kara stared at Helo for a few moments before walking over to the table. "I didn't know you were on Atlantia."

"I've been her a while. There was an open slot about five years ago."

Kara's eyes went wide. "Five years ago?"

Helo gave a small nod. "Yeah, I took your slot when you… well, when your transfer request got refused."

"You can say it, Karl. You took my slot when I got kicked out of the military."

"Hate to interrupt this lovely reunion, Helo," said the small deckhand to Helo's right, "but I've got full colors."

"Thank the fraking gods," Helo said, throwing down his cards. When everyone gave him a funny look at his reaction to losing a rather large pot, he smiled. "A really smart woman once taught me that you never step away from a hand of triad, not even if you have no pair and the world is ending."

"Never assume you can't bluff your way into a big win," Kara finished.

Helo grinned at her. "But now that the game's over, I can do this."

Kara's face broke out into a smile as Helo stood up and swept her right off the ground. "Don't you ever disappear on me for five years again, Thrace," he growled into her ear.

The tears cascaded down Kara's cheek as she held on to Helo as tight as she could. Losing him was the one thing she regretted about the decision she had made five years earlier. He had been her best friend on Galactica, being there for her as she dealt with the fallout with Zak and then the mistake she made that day in her Delphi apartment.

"Gods, I wish there had been time to tell you what happened." Kara smiled down at him. Her hands reached out to cup his face, and she placed a light kiss on his lips. "I'm just glad something good came out of it. Atlantia is a great ship. I'm sure she's treating you well."

Helo's grip loosened as he set her down on the ground, but he still kept his arms locked tightly around her. "Here's what I find odd about all that. You worked your ass off to procure your transfer to this specific Battlestar. I remember you telling me that it was either Atlantia or you were going back to teaching on Picon. I never could figure out what that was about."

A guilty look shifted over Kara's face. She should have told Karl about Lee from the beginning. She had hesitated, but it was clear now that he wouldn't have judged her for wanting to be on the same ship as Commander Adama's eldest son. "There was a reason," she explained.

Helo shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. All I want to know is what was so important that you decided to throw away all that hard work."

"The situation changed for me."

"Did it have something to do with why the Colonial Fleet gave you the boot?"

"It's the reason I did what I did that day," Kara admitted.

"Are you ever going to tell me?"

"Soon," she said, her face lighting up with mischief.

"Gods, I missed that smile."

"Are you two going to talk all day or are you doing to introduce us to your lady friend, Helo?" one of the pilots at the table asked.

"Guys, this is Kara Thrace."

"The Kara Thrace? Starbuck Kara Thrace?"

"You're a fraking legend."

"It'd be an honor to have you sit with us, sir."

Helo had to bit his lip to keep from laughing. He had never felt more old than right now, and he knew Kara was probably mortified at being called a legend. He looked up and saw she was holding back a laugh, too. Gods, he had really missed having her by his side.

"This fraking legend is about to kick your asses," Kara said, settling into the open seat. "And you can drop the sir bullshit. I'm not even military anymore."

"Yeah, just call her fraker like the rest of us do," Helo said. He motioned for the cards to be dealt. "And hold on to your underwear, kids. Starbuck doesn't stop until she has you naked with nothing to your name."

Kara let out a laugh and looked down at her cards. If she closed her eyes, she could really imagine that she was still a part of this life.

"So you haven't seen each other in five years?" asked the kid to her right.

Kara nodded. "Not by choice, but yeah, it's been a while."

"Then you don't know our man Helo here has a wife and kids."

"Fraking hell, Karl! You do not!" Kara cried.

Helo snickered and looked down at his cards, slightly embarrassed. He had hoped to tell her in a more private way. "Sharon… you remember Boomer, right? We got married a few years back. She had twins last year."

A puzzled look crossed Kara's face. "I thought your little Raptor pilot was in love with the Chief."

"It didn't work out," Helo said shortly.

Kara could tell this was a touchy subject and decided now was not the time to press the issue. Helo would explain it all later when there wasn't a hundred prying ears around to hear. "So Sharon gave up her wings to be a mommy?"

"It's what she wanted to do. She seems determined to have a large family," Helo explained. "She never really had the heart of a pilot."

"Those fraking gimbals!" Kara exclaimed. "She broke one on every single landing. Any self-respecting pilot would have killed themselves out of respect for the deck crew." She reached over and grabbed a handful of cubits from Helo's pile, throwing them into the pot. "I raise a whole frakload of Helo's money."

The table laughed at Helo's pissed off look, and one of the pilots turned to Kara. "So, Starbuck, do you still fly?"

"No," she said shortly, hoping the sadness in her voice wasn't too noticeable. "I haven't flown since I was stationed on Galactica."

The table seemed to go silent after that exchange, at least until Starbuck laid down two red ladies and cleaned out the pot. Then the players shifted back into their normal taunting and laughing. Kara leaned over to talk with Helo quietly as the rest of the players did their best to beat her at her own game.

Before long, the pilots of Atlantia realized their mistake in engaging Kara in triad without putting a bet limit on the game. They bowed out one at a time until it was only Helo.

"That must have been a record. You finished them out in under an hour."

"I haven't lost my touch. Plus, there's really not a lot to do on a colonial outpost," she replied.

"Colonial outpost? So that's where you've been?"

"It's a long story, Karl, but one I will tell you eventually."

Helo nodded. Like always, he was willing to take Kara at her word. "So, you seemed surprised to see me earlier. I take it I'm not the reason you arranged this little visit to Atlantia?"

Kara shook her head. She didn't even know where to start. She hadn't been kidding when she told Lee this was going to be hard. Her eyes drifted down to her wedding band, and she couldn't help but smile. Lee had been right about one thing. This was worth it.

"Holy frak! Is that what I think it is?" Helo asked as he noticed her hand.

"If you think it's a wedding band, then yes, it is what you think it is."

Helo cocked his head for a moment before nodding. "I get it now. You're here to talk to Lee. It's probably smart to tell him in person."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Helo bit his lip. "As fraked up as this sounds, I think he always had a bit of a thing for you." Kara couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing so hard she had to take a seat on the floor. "What the frak are you laughing about?"

Kara pushed the tears out of her eyes as she tried to calm down. "I just missed how completely clueless you always were. I think saying Lee had a bit of a thing for me is just about the largest understatement you could have made. Lee has been in love with me for years."

"I hope you break it to Apollo gently."

"Break what to me?" Lee asked as he stepped into the briefing room.

Kara held up her left hand. "I got hitched a few weeks ago, Adama."

"Someone was stupid enough to take you on permanently?" Lee shook his head. "What the frak is the world coming to?"

When Kara slipped her hand into Lee's, Helo realized he had missed something. Shouldn't Lee be fraking pissed that Kara was taken, especially if he really did love her? And shouldn't Kara have broken the news to him in a much more gentle fashion? And why the frak were they grinning at each other like idiots?

"Tell me what I missed," Helo demanded, crossing his arms in front of him.

"How can you stand working with such unobservant pilots?" Kara asked Lee. She grabbed Lee's left hand and held it up for Helo to take a look at. "Your CAG has been wearing a wedding ring since he got back from his last leave."

She watched as Helo finally put it together. "You two are married?" He narrowed his eyes. "But you haven't even seen each other since Galactica was decommissioned."

Kara shook her head. "Lee has been your CAG for about two years now. Didn't you once wonder why he was never around when you got shore leave, why he was always commissioning Raptors to take him off planet?"

"He was going to see you," Helo realized.

"For four years," Lee added. "I went to that frakhole in the middle of nowhere for four years, and no one even noticed."

"You're just that fraking good," Kara said, rolling her eyes.

"I guess I should leave you newlyweds alone," Helo said, backing towards the hatch.

Kara gave him a wave. As much as she wanted to catch up with Helo, all she could think of was Lee now that he was before her. "I'll come find you before I leave, Karl."

"You better," Helo said with a smile. "And let me know when you have more time off. I want you to meet the kids, and I know Sharon would love to see you."

Kara nodded and waited until the hatch was shut before turning to punch Lee's shoulder.

"Ow!" he hissed. "What the frak was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me Helo and Sharon were married?"

"You made me promise not to talk about military life. I was just doing what you asked."

"And why didn't you tell me Helo was one of your pilots?"

Lee reached out to touch her cheek. "Because I knew it would only make you sad."

Kara nodded. He was right. Knowing both Lee and Helo were in the one place she could never go would have killed her. It was hard enough when it was just Lee who was out of reach. "So, Major, I'm here on Atlantia. What now?"

"Now I surprise you," Lee said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss before pulling her out into the corridor.