April 14, 1912. 5:49 p.m.
Oh my lucky stars! I can't write now! I'm getting ready for the dinner party! Till tonight when I can write about it.
April, 14, 1912. 11: 10 p.m.
Oh my lucky stars! It was the grandest party I ever been to! Grandmamma apologetic for being cruel to me bought a pink silk dress. It was cut like the white one, except it had layers of feathers for the bottom. My mother tied some of my hair up in pink and blue jewels, with some pearls in it. The rest of my hair she let fall.
Eddy didn't get to go, because he would get tired.
If only you had eyes dearest diary! The grand stair case was polished to perfection. I looked up to see the dome above. Oh! If I could die this night, I wish to be reborn and see this site again.
The sky was transparent and dark. The stars shown their brightest. They sparkled like a thousand crystals stuck in an vast ocean of darkness. Then that sinking feeling came back.
My neck getting a cramp, I decide to look at the staircase. On the contrary what I saw hurt me. It was Rose. She looked more stunning then ever before. Her in a white diamond gown. She was on Jack's arm. I turned around quickly hoping they wouldn't notice. I think I have to get better at this turning around thing, for they saw me.
"Winnie!" Jack let go of Rose's arm, and trotted down the steps toward me. "Hey. Wow you look… you look charming." Charming, that's all he could say about me. He must think me a mere child.
"Exquisite Ms. Morrill." It was Cale Hockley. He gave my gloved hand a quick kiss. I never really talked to him, but my mother told me he is quite the charmer.
Mrs. DeWitt Bukater said he was in full worship with Rose, and treasured her more then currency. My hero. "Thank you Mr. Hockley." I gave him a curtsey. Rose's mother came behind him.
"You do look exquisite Ms. Morrill. The image of perfection." Ruth alleged with a smirk.
"Like wise Mrs. DeWitt Bukater." I gave her a curtsy as well. Ruth turned toward Rose.
"Glimpse Rose. Ms. Morrill has more sophisticated behavior than you." Turning to me, "Ms. Morrill would you like to be escorted with Mr. Hockley and I into the dinning room? You may be seated with us."
"I would rather like that Mrs. DeWitt Bukater. Thank you kindly ." I smiled at her.
"Well then, come along we must not keep the others waiting for us." Cale spoke, taking Ruth's arm in one hand, and mine in the other.
The party started off grand. The world class musicians form Vienna Austria played waltzes all through the night. I was sitting down watching mother and father spin faster, and faster to the rhythm of the swaying music. I occasionally got a little bored, and started to pick at the feathers on my dress.
While I was picking feathers on my dress, Jack came up to me. "Ms. Morrill. I believe you to owe me a dance." He held out his hand to mine. I looked up into his blue eyes shinning at me. Then I looked past him to see Rose looking at me. She quickly turned away breaking our glance.
"I wish not disturb you and your partner from the length of each other's arms." I turned from him on the chair.
"Winnie. You have been acting secretly. I haven't seen you around lately and-
"That's because there is someone else." I pulled out my fan and start waving it back and forth in front of my face trying to grasp as much cold air as there was. "Is it warm in here or is it just I?"
"So you meet someone. Is it Mr. Aims?" He smiled at me. His eyes twinkling.
"How do you know?"
"I'll tell. Over a dance."
"Oh, alright." He held out his hand, this time I grasped it. Oh dearest journal it was exuberance! Jack turned me this way, and that. We dipped and sashayed.
"Winnie I don't think you should be around Jeremy."
"Oh and why is that?"
"Did he tell you anything, or show you anything? About Titanic?" He dipped me.
"Just the passage areas."
"Winnie don't trust him. He is not who you think he is." I stop suddenly, tripping over his foot. I landed crashing on the floor. Sudden silence. I got up off the floor, and turn around anger in my eyes and face.
"Who are you to tell me who to see and not to. Your not my father! I wish you crawl back into the hole you came from, you and Rose!" I was so confused. All my emotions came out inside me. Exploded to breaking point. I dashed out of the dinning room and on to the deck. Eyes glaring at me as I left.
I don't remember how far I ran, but I did end up at the back of the ship. My eyes wielding up with tears. I looked out into the ocean… it was still as glass. Then the tears fell; becoming one with the water surrounding me. Soon it will be come rain, then pour on my face again.
I thought about jumping over. Mother always says water washes away worries. Mother. Just then I remember all the times she ignored me through more then half my life. I looked down at my hands and saw the bracelet she gave me. I haven't taken it off since she gave it to me.
I ripped it from my wrist accidentally cutting myself in the process. The blood dripped from my wrist and onto the floor of the polished deck. I held it out over the railing, watching it fall.
"Winnie is that you?"
"Jeremy?" I turned around noticing he was right behind me. "How did you-"
"The passages." He shrugged. Then he looked down, and noticed me holding my bracelet with my wrist bleeding. "Damn Winnie. What did you do?" I quickly pulled my wrist behind me.
"Nothing really, I just cut it."
"Cut it, more like slit it open. Here let me see it." He grabbed my hand gently and started to examine it. He pulled out a pocket knife and cut a piece of his shirt. He tied the cloth around my wrist. Just then Lulu came rushing right beside me from somewhere.
"Ms Winnie, Ma Winnie." She pulled me into a bear hug. I couldn't breath because my face was squashed into her chest. She pulled me out and started shaking me. "Why in God's name did you run out of the party. Scaring everyone to their grave. Why I ought t- what happened to your wrist child?" She grabbed my wrist. "We better take you back to the room so we can telegram a doctor. Say goodbye to your friend." She started walking a ways. "Come on Winnie we haven't got all night. And besides I don't like it out here. Can't see nothing but stars." With that she walked through the doors, disappearing into the hallway. I turned to Jeremy. I didn't want to tell him what Jack said.
"I better go. I caused to much trouble already. My mother probably has a nose bleed by now. Goodnight." I turned around to leave but felt a hand on my arm. Jeremy pulled me into a hug. The next thing what happened surprised me.
His lips were on my mine. I wanted to pull away, but my heart said, "Stay….Stay." I quickly pulled away putting my hand to my lips. My face blushing horribly. "Goodnight" I staggered back and forth like a drunken man.
Jeremy called out, "Goodnight Ms. Winifred Morrill. Happy Dreams." I turned around to wave goodbye. But when I did, he was gone. He must have left through the passages.
OH Dearest journal! I don't remember what happened after, nor do I care. I'm on the Ship of dreams, and anything is possible….Opps look at the time 11:40 p.m. I must go to bed. Good nig- what was that!