It hadn't rained on Caprica in over ten months, but today it did.

Kara was soaked to the bone. There was a small tent set up for people to take shelter under while the priestess read the appropriate scriptures. It was for those who were invited, and she was anything but. She wouldn't have even known where to go if he hadn't told her.

He had been calling her non-stop for two days now. She let her machine pick it up every time.

She leaned back against a tree and tried to calm her shaking hands. The bark bit into her back. Pain was good. It felt real.

The massive group of people one hundred yards away were moving. Kara watched them start the exit procession. There were little signs of comfort everywhere, a young child walking hand-in-hand with his mother, a elderly lady being helped when her walking stick caught in the mud, a husband wiping the tears from the eyes of his wife. Her gaze shifted to the young man standing between his parents at the front of procession, and she wished things could be that easy for her.

She wondered how long it would take for everyone to clear out and stared out into the pouring rain.

Within twenty minutes, the long line of cars was down to only one. Kara felt her heart tighten as she heard its engine start up. A part of her had hoped he would see her standing underneath the tree and come talk to her. She needed to talk to someone if she wanted to keep herself from falling over the edge. She turned to watch the car make its way down the road, and when she glanced back at the spot it had just been in, she saw him.

He was standing in the pouring rain, the umbrella he had been carrying before gone with the car. His hair was matted down against his skin, and she could practically feel the harsh line of his jaws. His hands were in his pockets. He was openly staring at her.

She should have known that he would see her.

After a few minutes of staring, he trudged across the mud and grass to stand before her. The second he started moving, she had thrown her eyes to the ground. The guilt was too strong.

Kara knew that she looked a mess. Between the freezing rain and the tears on her cheek, she was probably incredibly hard to look at. She had no idea why he wouldn't stop doing just that.

"I know what you're thinking," he started. "It's not our fault, Kara."

She shook her head. "You're right. It's not our fault. It's my fault."

"Gods! Where the frak do you get off saying something as stupid as that?" he screamed. The anger came out of nowhere.

"He wouldn't have even been on the planet if it wasn't for me."

"I wouldn't have been on that planet either!"

She wiped her eyes as the tears began to mix with the rain again. "Maybe things would have been better that way, Lee."

"Kara," Lee started, pulling her chin up so she could meet his eyes, "you can't say things like that."

"Don't get protective on me right now," she warned, slipping away from his touch.

Lee waited for a moment until he saw her fists uncurl. "So you got my messages."

"I was home," she said, even though she knew he knew. "You wouldn't tell me what happened."

"There was a malfunction in Zak's Raptor. They say that no one could have kept that thing in the air. Nothing could have been done to save him."

"If he had been on Galactica instead of planetside, there may have been time," she insisted. "So don't' give me that nothing could have been done bullshit."

"Kara, you didn't force him to come down here. He chose to do that on his own."

"To see me!" she hissed. "Don't you understand, Lee? He never would have done that for any other pilot on Galactica. He still loved me. I ignored it because there was nothing else I could do, but I never forgot. I ruined his life and he didn't care and I tried to get him to go away but he wouldn't stop loving me." As each word fell from her lips, the sobs took a stronger hold over her body. "Why wouldn't he stop loving me?" she screamed to the empty graveyard. Her knees gave out, and she fell into the mud. Without thought, Lee knelt down where she fell and wrapped his arms around her rain-soaked body. She was breaking down completely, and the only thing Kara could think about was his suit was going to get ruined.

"I lied to everyone," she whispered after her body had calmed. The sound of her voice was muffled against Lee's body, but she knew by the way he tensed that he had still heard her. "I said I did it for Zak's sake, but I didn't. I was being selfish."

Lee pulled back to look down at her. "What do you mean?"

"I've used so many excuses. Zak was too young to be settling down. He didn't know the handful of troubles he was taking on by marrying me. The gods obviously had other plans for him. He was much happier without me." Kara sighed and leaned back into Lee. "The truth is I did it for myself. I thought that maybe, just maybe the gods were trying to tell me that I didn't have to settle." As the words slipped out, she felt immediate guilt. "I'm not saying that I was settling for Zak. If I had married him, I know I would have been protected for the rest of my life. He would have done everything to make me happy."

"Then what are you saying?" Lee asked. His hand had come up to push the stray hairs off of her face.

"I saw a glimpse of what it felt to really want something, and I actually let myself believe I deserved it. For the first time in my life, I didn't have to force someone to make my walls break down in order for me to feel happy. It just happened on its own. I didn't want to let that go." Kara felt Lee's arms tighten around her, and she knew he understood what she was trying to say to him.

Lee offered her protection for a moment, and Kara let herself drown in it. She had been right to think he would catch her if she fell. The rain let up as if it was a sign from the gods that she couldn't stay in his arms forever.

Clearing her throat, she pulled herself to her feet. "I want to see his grave," she whispered.

Lee stood up and started walking towards where the small tent had been. Kara followed a few steps behind. She was about to reach out to trace the name carved into the stone when a gruff voice made her freeze.

"What right do you have to be here?"

Kara turned to look at her commanding officer. She didn't say a word.

"Your mother was worried about leaving you by yourself, Lee." Adama glanced back at Kara. "Maybe it would be wise for you to go to the car."

"I don't think-"

"That wasn't a request, Lieutenant," Adama snarled.

Kara could see something familiar pass over Lee's face. He turned to look at her, and the small glimmer of hope that had been in his eyes before was gone. "Kara," he began.

"I said now," Adama yelled.

Lee held her gaze for one last second before turning to make his way back to his mother's car.

"You have no right to be here. You are not a part of this family."

"I loved Zak," Kara whispered. She could feel the tears begin to slowly creep back up inside of her.

"You ruined his life."

Kara lowered her eyes as his harsh words hit home. He was right. She had ruined the life of Zak Adama because she was selfish. It was her fault.

"You told me you wanted to set him free for his own good, and I foolishly believed you. It didn't end, though. Time and time again, Zak came to me, saying you should have heard what Kara said to me or you should have seen the look she gave me when she landed. He said he knew you still loved him. He was just waiting for you to come around. You hung on to him even after you said you let go, and now he's dead."

Each word that came out of his mouth was like a kick in the gut to Kara. They were all things she had been telling herself since hearing about the accident, but she had never thought she'd hear them from someone else. A small piece of her had still held on to the idea that she might be wrong. This might not be her fault.

"If you had just let him go, he would still be alive."

That was the final nail in the coffin. Spinning, Kara ran from the grave of her dead lover and the wounded father who had been left behind to pick up the pieces of his family yet again. She could see Lee leaping out of the car as she ran past, but it was too late. Not even his soothing words could make this better.

She had killed Zak.

Kara reached out to touch the cool marble, and her fingers slowly traced out the letters of his name. She had been waiting six years to do this. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Lee watched in silence as she pulled something out of her pocket and lifted it to her lips.

"I'm finally letting you go," she said with a smile. The silver ring clinked slightly against the stone of the grave. Lee recognized it immediately but knew better than to say anything.

"I never meant to hurt you, Zak," Kara insisted. "I left you for selfish reasons that I never had the chance to explain, but I also did it for you. I saw a happiness in you during our year on Galactica that hadn't been there when we were at the Academy. You loved being a pilot."

Lee listened in silence as Kara confessed her sins and began to explain to Zak what he had seen that day he walked into her apartment unannounced. His hand came up around her shoulder as she reached the part about what she had sacrificed to keep Lee safe. He felt Kara searching for the words to explain to Zak why she didn't feel guilty for loving his brother and how she knew that he wouldn't have been angry.

"I wish you were still around," she admitted. "You were my friend long before you were my love, and I can't thank you enough for what you did for me." She looked over at Lee with a smile before turning back to the grave. "You were right, Zak. I never stopped loving you, and I never will."

Lee watched her lean in to kiss the top of the grave. She let out a deep breath, and he could see the weight lifting off her shoulders. "Ready?"

She bit her lip and nodded, letting Lee lead her away from this place. She had been waiting six years for that, too.