Author's Note: Hi people, I know it takes me ages to update butI do try. This chapter's quite short, i'm afraid. Please take thetime to read and review. Oh and I'm interested to know what people feel about the way i use various diaries and alternating pov. Does it work or is it annoying?
Readers Response:
Azure Rose: Yay, it really means loads you think I've improved. I'm glad you liked the song too and there may be one in the next chapter.
tabbycat411: Yey, i'm glad you like it and i love Takeru Ken stories but they seem quite rare don't they? In the next chapter more digidestined characters will make an appearance but none of them are going to be allowed to steal the spotlight from the heroes.
Lost Flame:I love your name! I know the updates take ages but I like to have the time to do them well. i know that's no excuse but I'm a teenager,one oflife's procrastinators. However I've already started the next chapter so there's hope yet.
Guardiangirl1: Yes, yes it is. I want it to be natural though and I;m not sure how far it will go.
mad.as.a.hatter: Thanks for reading and i'm glad you enjoyed it though. if you don't like cliffysI don't think you'll love me at the end of this chapter. -
auberysvampiregirl: Thanks for your compliments and here's more,more, more!

Discliamer: I don't own digimon. There is a lot of self harm in this story. I do not endorse self harm and advise all people who feel like either character to talk to a trusted friend. There is shounen-ai in this story.

Sunday 29nd May

Journal of Yamato Ishida

T.K's been worrying me. I know he's not just a little kid any more. He doesn't need me to protect him. Sometimes I think I'm overreacting. Then I wonder. He seems off somehow., like his mind's somewhere else. I dunno T.K has the most open face in the world but it seems like he's trying to keep it closed. I've asked him but he always makes an excuse and changes the subject. Is it just my imagination?

Monday 31st May

"Hey Ken!"the blond bounded into his friend's flat.
"Hello, Takeru." replied Ken slowly not raising his eyes.
"What?" asked Takeru bouncing over to him. Ken grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face him.
"This has to stop."
"What does?" asked Takeru, hurt evident in his voice.
"The cutting."
"What? But...but you do it too."
"I know but you're becoming worse than me."
"So, it's like you said. Some people can't let feelings in or out, right?"
"Takeru I know I said that but remember your horror when you saw the marks on me? What changed your opinion so absolutely?"
"I understand now. There's something wrong with my body. I can fix it."
"The only thing wrong with your body is these!"exploded ken tearing T.K's shirt. Livid scars covered the skin. Some were barely healed. Takeru stared at him, anger flashing across his eyes. "That's enough. You're in the same boat as me so don't you dare act superior."
"I...I didn't mean to...I..."
"I looked up to you, Ken. I felt you were one of the few people I knew properly but you're just like everyone else, changeable as the wind."
Ken shuddered as the door slammed in his face.
"I care for you."

From the pen of Ken Ichijoji:

Dear diary,

I've hurt Takeru so badly, I don't know what to do. It's just I could bluff to myself that what we did wasn't a problem but seeing how fast he's got dependant. I remember the first time he came in. He looked so shaken. He didn't say a word but gently lifted up his t-shirt to show me the tiny cut. He looked so sad and ashamed. I was hugely embarrassed when he grabbed me in that bone crushing hug. I felt so stiff. I didn't know how to play the comforting friend yet when he whispered those words in my ear, I melted like chocolate in the sun. "I understand." It was great. There was someone to help me now, an ally. Remembering that makes me think of my first time, a sharpened bit of graphite. How had this escalated so badly? If Takeru and I were fixing our bodies why did we need to cut them more and more? It doesn't make sense.

Monday 31st May-Evening

"Release.
Pleasure and pain.
Interchanging.
Blood is just red rain.
Cleansing."

His voice rang clear as a bell, throughout the oncoming night. Ken watched from the shadow of the trees. His heart broke to see the agony he'd caused. Takeru was silhouetted against the setting sky. His hair falling gently into his eyes as he stared into the changing river. Ken turned away and strode out of the park. He wasn't the kind of person who could fix this. He was a failure at the game of life. He'd ruined Takeru's. He just hoped someone could pick up the pieces.

Ring Ring

...Hello? Teenaid, how may I help you?
I keep cutting myself. I can't stop. I'm scared of being trapped in the bubble. I need an escape but I've dragged another down with me. I don't know how to help him. I thought it was okay but there's something wrong that may never be alright.
It will be okay. Tell me slowly what the matter is. This other person. Can you tell us his name? He may need help too. What about your parent's or guardian, do they know?
...

From the pen of Ken Ichijoji:

I know I'm a coward. Just the idea of my mother discovering. She'd be so hurt. It's all my fault. All of it. Takeru...I've caused you to become ill like me because I thought what I did was alright. I admit it now, I am a self-harmer. And because of my barbed friendship you are too.

Monday 14th May

-------------------------------------Ken's POV---------------------------------------------

Though I felt hugely guilty for everything I got used to it. Life moves on uncaring of our feelings. I haven't seen Takeru for a while now and yet sometimes I still expect to see him bound towards me yelling my name. It's odd. For the first time I'm thankful for my bubble because sometimes I feel I could scream if I felt as others do. Mother returned a couple of days ago. She's much better but when we remain in the same room, awkward heavy silences hang over us. It was during one such silence the phone rang. I dashed for it like my life depended on it.

"Hello, Ichijoji residence. How may I help you?...
Kari,what?...
No...
H-he can't...
I'm coming." I grabbed my coat and dashed out of the flat without a word to my mother. A while ago she would've been my first concern. I realised this was no longer true. With Kari's horrific words the bubble had burst I felt the pain raw and stinging.