There were many people down on this part of the deck, some mostly steerage. I walked down and back the deck seven or eight times, looking for my mother. I didn't see her. Then, around my ninth time I saw my brother, with my… MOTHER! OH MY LUCKY STARS! I waved furiously at her, and she looked up at me. But… She only looked through me.

I didn't understand why she could not see me dearest journal, but you see, she saw me threw her eyes everyday she thought I was dead.

I dashed to where she was sitting. I threw my arms around her and wept. I wept till I could have actually die right there on the spot. My mother only put her hands over her eyes bawling, "My Winnie is dead! As dead as that damn ship!" She started rocking back and forth. Eddy, and Lulu just stared, not knowing what to think.

I pulled my mother's hair back, and kissed each of her brow. "Mother it's me it's really ME!"

"No, my Winnie is dead." I giving up, sat back and wept. Tears falling into my open mouth. I wiped my eyes with my wrist, only scratching my cheek with… my bracelet!

I grabbed my mothers wrist, and hooked the two hearts together. The description read, "TWO HEARTS BECOME ONE…"

My mother tried pulling her wrist back, but couldn't, because the bracelet held fast. She stared at her hand cuff for a second, then touched the cold metal. Her eyes welding up with tears. She brought her opposite hand to her mouth, and started rocking back and forth.

"Winnie?" She stared at me.

"Yes Mother…" I squeaked.

"Hahaha." She lunged for me, and held my tightly. I didn't care, she could hold me in her arms forever. She started kissing me over, and over again. She stroked my hair. "Oh my Winnie. My dearest. I'm so sorry. So sorry."

"No mother, I should be the sorry one."

"Oh, no, no you shouldn't, you shouldn't be force to grow up."

"But mother, I already have." She hugged me even tighter. "Lulu, Eddy, LOOK IT'S WINNIE!"

I can't remember how many times I was hugged that night, or how many times I was kissed. But I wasn't alone, and not unloved.

I went for a walk well everyone else was at dinner. I was alone, and went to the front of the ship. I looked down into the water, as the ship Olympia went cutting through the waves. I remember the first time I saw Titanic cut through the waves, I was happy then.

"Winnie… Winnie is that you?" I turned around, and there was Rose. I ran smack right into her. And dearest journal, I cried again.

"Oh Winnie, I'm so sorry." She brushed my cheek.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry Rose. I spoiled Jack's and your romance. I let my jealousy get in the way."

"So did I. I was jealous of you." She giggled.

"What? How is that funny."

"It's ironic. How two people could love someone so much, and never end up with the one person they were dying to be with." She turned away from me. I could tell she was crying by the tone of her voice, when she said, "Dying…"

"Jack never made it did he." I looked back at the sea.

"Life is a cruel thing Winnie, and it will always be that way. No matter how you want to change it." She walked toward me, and gave me another hug. "Jack did say to tell you, that he loved you for your innocence's, and that if he lived, you can go live with him… with me."

"What about Cale?"

"I wouldn't marry him if he was the last man on earth, the bastard."

"I saw him when I woke up, it looked like he was looking for you. Your mother was in tears."

"Winnie." She grabbed me by the shoulders. "I'm free now, free from them. Please… please do me the favor of not telling them I'm on the ship."

"Alright Rose, I will." She squealed with delight, and squeezed me again. "Thank you so much. I owe my life to you. Can I do anything in return?"

"No the- wait, actually there is. Do you know if a boy named Jeremy Aims survived?" I looked up at her, my eyes full of hope.

"No Winnie, I dare say I have haven't ." She gave a me a kiss on the cheek as tears fell again. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. I have my own things to cope with." She gave me another kiss, on the head this time, and left me on the deck.

I turned back toward the ocean. The sun was setting now, almost darkness. The yellow and orange twilight out shinning the blue- purple mixed together. Oh, dearest journal, it was sad looking out at the ocean. My sorrow washed over me again.

I figured something out dearest journal. I have grown. I found that I am a cowered, but has strength, a lover, and someone full of innocence. Practically somebody else that I have never known before, someone I'm afraid to be.

Deep in thought, I saw something that looked like it was glowing in the twilight. It was wedged in between a split in the wood of a bench. Out of curiosity, I went and pulled it out.