Chapter 7

Kagome jolted awake in the middle of the night, sweating. She turned to look at her alarm clock. 2:12 am. It was a school night, and she needed her rest, but she couldn't help but have this feeling- a feeling that something had happened. Something important. She hopped out of bed and grabbed her robe, tieing it loosely around herself. She grabbed a flashlight and headed down towards the wellhouse.

"What am I doing...?" she wondered aloud, but she couldn't stop her feet- they were moving by their own accord it seemed. She slid open the doors and slipped inside, shutting them behind her. She flicked on her flashlight and peered into the well, as if it would reveal something to her- and it did. It revealed to her that it was barren and unused- no longer a portal to Inuyasha. Kagome cried. Without thinking she hopped over the ledge and plunged into the well, somehow hoping something would happen. She just wanted to know if Inuyasha was alright- she wanted something, someone to tell her everything would be alright. She yelped when she landed on the cold hard bottom of the well. She landed on her ankle, and she heard an unhealthy snap from it. Crying even harder from the pain, she slammed her fists down on the ground.

"Why? Why did I come here? What was so important that I felt the need to check on you, Inuyasha? Please." A tear slipped from her face. "Please, tell me." she whispered. Her sadness overwhelmed her and she curled up on the ground, crying.

After what seemed hours, she could see that the wellhouse had gotten light inside. Great, i'm gonna miss school. Kagome thought, though she didn't really seem to care. She felt empty inside, as if her soul were going to leave her at any moment. The air was cold, and Kagome shivered visibly. Her eyes were red and puffy from tears; her cheeks stained from crying. Kagome shook her head.

"I can't stay down here forever hoping to see him again. Besides... by now he and Kikyo should be back to the way they were fifty-odd years ago." she mumbled aloud.

Determined to get out of the barren well and dressed for at least the rest of the school day, she attempted to climb out of the well. However, her swollen ankle prevented it. Great. Just great. Now i'm stuck here until either my ankle stops swelling or until someone comes looking for me. Sighing, she curled up with her back to a corner. Inuyasha... did Kikyo tell you I love you? Kagome closed her eyes. Maybe i'd feel better if I had my entire soul... but Kikyo has a piece. I can't take it back from her- she would die, and Inuyasha would be sad... but I want to badly to feel complete again... I want my soul... As she closed her eyes, Kagome unconsciously tried to will her soul back into her body.

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"Sango, how much farther?" a weary Miroku complained. "My feet are killing me. Plus, I can't keep looking after Shippou if we're always on the move."

"Oh please. It's only a couple of hours until we reach the next town. I'll even let you use your fake exorcism story to get us a place to stay and some food, okay?" she said, slightly annoyed. If only things hadn't ended like they did. If only Inuyasha forgot about Kikyo. Sango sighed. What would become of them?

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"Why did you do this? I thought this was what you wanted? I could have given you everything you're always wanted!" Naraku screamed as the arrow began to dissintegrate his body. Inuyasha sat there, frozen. Kikyo had shot Naraku instead of him. She planned this. Inuyasha smiled.

"He's gone... it's all thanks to you, Kikyo!" Inuyasha rejoiced. He watched as Kikyo bent over and picked up the jewel, completing it. Kouga had been attacked by Naraku, not killed, and his shards were taken. Naraku also killed Kohaku and retaine his shard. Now, the jewel lay in Kikyo's hands, complete. It shone a pink, pure color... but something was wrong. The jewel began flushing black with tainted evil. Inuyasha watched as the swirls of pink and black fought for dominance in the jewel. Kikyo must be trying to decide what to use it for... but... why is it trying to taint itself in her hands? Is one of her wishes impure? Finally, the pink retreated and the black took over. The jewel radiated with the desire for revenge. Kikyo's cold and bitterness towards Kagome and her love for Inuyasha took over her mind as she let the jewel take hold of her.

"Kikyo! Watch out! The jewel is tainted!" Inuyasha warned, but his plea fell on deaf ears.

"Inuyasha, i've decided how I will use this jewel. It will not be to turn you human, fear not. I have decided not to go to the afterlife. I wish to stay in this life, but to do that, I need my soul back. My soul." she emphasized. Inuyasha cocked his head to the side. Kikyo laughed.

"I shall use this jewel to exact my revenge on the world and to retrieve my soul."

"From the underworld?" Inuyasha asked, not making the connections. Kikyo stared at him.

"No. Someone else has my soul. I intend to take it back. Inuyasha. You cannot stop me." Kikyo said flatly as she began walking away from him. "I shall return soon. Wait here for me. I need to go gather a lot of souls. This wish will use up most of my energy." Kikyo looked back at him. "Then... finally... we can be together like we should have been long ago." With that, Kikyo was out of sight. Inuyasha sat, confused.

"Who has her soul? The only person who could have her soul is someone else who steals souls, or her reincarna- NO! Kagome!" Inuyasha wondered aloud. She was going to kill Kagome! Inuyasha shook his head. She can't do this! Still... if Kikyo has the soul, she will live once again, but if she doesn't take the soul, she will die; she will be bitter for all eternity. If Kagome loses her soul... she'll die... so... I have to choose who I want to live? My love, or my friend? Inuyasha sat there, panicking. he knew he had to act fast. "Kikyo takes at least a few hours to find souls... I have some time..." Inuyasha muttered to himself.

Inuyasha replayed his whole journey in his mind- his journey with Kagome, and his journey with Kikyo. His fonder memories lay with Kagome. Kagome. His heart felt a thousand pounds too heavy. Why, whenever I think of her, do I feel like this? My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest. Every time I think of her, chills run up and down my spine; my face feels flushed; my stomach is in knots. Keh. Probably all thanks to the 'sits' she gives me. Thinking about her must bring out some subconscious feeling about the sits. Though... she can't sit me anymore...

Inuyasha stopped and began to think of Kikyo. His heart grew with anger, but respect. He was angry for her bitterness, but respectful of the woman he met fifty-two years ago to be exact. So he loved Kikyo, right? Inuyasha thought about it. She had wanted him to change right away- to become human for her. She never asked him what he wanted. He wanted to be human for her... he felt guilty to leave her. He understood how alone she felt. Inuyasha's eyes grew wide. So it wasn't love? Perhaps it was just a mutual respect we held for one another. Kikyo respected me, but from a distance- she never got too close. She was afraid of me in hanyou form... so it wasn't respect she felt towards me- it was a simple companion to talk to. She felt so alone. She was always so distant. She didn't trust me because she'd lived her whole life protecting the jewel from demons and half-demons like myself. I respected her deeply, but she only wanted someone to pity her; to relieve her of her tiring duties... and that person... was me. I was the only one able to purify the jewel by becoming human. She had no choice but to befriend me. If the jewel was used to purify a demon, it would kill the demon and only further taint the jewel. If it was used on a half-demon... the demon would be gone, but the human would remain... no death leads to a pure jewel. Purifying and not killing a demon was the only way... I was just a tool... but if I was just a tool... why does she still say she loves me? Maybe she does love me... maybe in some twisted way she still cares for me. She was the first person I opened up to other than my mother. I never trusted after my mother died. I... didn't I trust Kikyo? I mean... i'm a little nervous about going to the afterlife... but I trust her, right? She would never do anything to hurt me again, right? She would come to live with the fact that it was Naraku who was the problem. Still... why do I feel i've been betrayed? I can't seem to trust her fully... but... Kagome... I can't trust her if she wants to kill Kagome...

Inuyasha's mind raced with his thoughts. Kagome had accepted me right away. She didn't stay with me because she had to, she stayed because she wanted to. She never wanted me to change who I was. She even respected me in youkai form. She wasn't afraid of me. She understood me when noone else could. She cared for me, she stayed by me through thick and thin. She'd risked her life for me, she'd cried for me. She taught me how to open up again. She showed me that he didn't have to be alone just because I was a hanyou. On several occasions she said she liked me as a hanyou. She said it made me special. All those times when i'd been stupid and caused her to go home angry, she always returned. She never left me... until a month ago. I wish I could take back those promises to Kikyo. I should never have promised to forget Kagome when I know I can't. Kagome turned me back when Tetsaiga couldn't. Hmm. What did Miroku mean, 'meaning behind her words?'. Was Kagome trying to tell me something? To be more caring? To let her visit home a little more often? If i'd known that she would leave, I would have changed. I would have become more caring. I would have let her go for longer periods of time. I wish... I wish i'd been more caring... maybe she wouldn't have left. I'll never see her again... but... I don't want her to die. Even if I can never see her again, I don't think I could live with myself knowing that it was my fault she had died. I failed to protect Kikyo... she died because of it. If it happens to Kagome, will I be able to live with myself? Will I be able to live with that guilt again? No... I couldn't. I... it wasn't my fault... Kikyo's death wasn't my fault. She told me to leave. She had pushed me away, telling me we couldn't be seen together because I was hanyou. The villagers would have probably killed her if I was with her. She was meant to die that day either way. If not by Naraku then by the villagers. She knows this... she revels in my guilt. She's using my guilt as a means to complete her own sadistic wishes. Kagome... Kikyo was meant to rest. Kikyo has to be put to rest. Kagome... even though i'll never see you again... I can't live if you're not alive. I... I need to see her again. I don't care how long it takes. I'll spend my whole life searching for a way to see you again... because you cared for me. You were the first real person that I could trust since my own mother. Not even Kikyo had my full trust. Even if I can't find a way to see you... I will still protect you. I need to think of ways to see her again; to tell her i'm sorry. How? I have to think of a way. Inuyasha stood up. I know how... I just need to stop Kikyo... I need the jewel... but will it work on someone 500 years away?

"Time to go talk to Kikyo." Inuyasha said as he cracked his fingers. He held respect for Kikyo, but she was dead. She needed to rest. She shouldn't be wandering anymore. With speed rivaling that of Kouga's, Inuyasha sprinted in Kikyo's direction, following the scent of clay and grave soil.