XXIX

Natura Sanat

"Kagome! Kagome, you're all right -"

Kouga strokes the softness of her cheek, reaches out and lifts her from between Kameko's paws. The old female's eyes gleam with a certain darkness, seeing his caring, his carefulness, his concern. Kouga sets Kagome on her feet but she is far from steady, and she leans against Kouga gratefully when he steps close to her. This world is wearing on her, mind and body – since she was pulled into the well, her days have been one emergency after another, and only moments of calm strangeness in between.

The last hour flashes across her memory and leaves her shaking; why her? Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't someone else have been pulled through time!

"Kouga...it happened again, Kouga."

Her eyes are dark with panic and her voice is a low, sharp whisper. Kouga blinks at her and then smiles, strokes her hair.

"I know. I could tell; you've got strength in you, Kagome!"

"I – I -"

Her voice trembles. She swallows a lump in her throat and the words that had nearly made it out, and then tries to speak again.

"I killed them."

Kouga hears the beat of her heart speed wildly out of control, out of rhythm. Her face is gray; the blue of her eyes has grown dull and flat and without sparkle. Confusion reigns in his thoughts; of course she killed them – the birds that had attacked while he was gone, the harpies with their apparent quest for destruction. But why should a miko grow gray and shaking over the deaths of youkai? Why should a miko care for those she has purified, even if she...even if...

His thoughts stall. She thinks of him as a person – as an attractive male, perhaps a suitor; she saved Sho without knowing how, is bonded to the shikon no tama in a way he can neither understand nor describe.

"Kagome...you shouldn't worry, you know. They would have killed you and many of the others if you hadn't purified them."

She shakes her head and tears fly from her eyelashes, splash against his cheek, against the armor covering his chest.

"Purified – murdered. I'm a murderer – a murderer – they were youkai, but you're youkai. Your wolves – are – are – there's no difference!"

"Kagome!"

Kouga's voice slaps at her sharply. Her eyes are jerked up involuntarily to meet his eyes.

"I -"

"Kagome. I can't forget that you're a stranger – I keep telling myself that, but still..."

He shakes his head.

"Not all youkai are the same. Some are mere beasts, no consciousness, just the instinct, just the darkness, just the power. Some are like us – not many, but some. And some are in between, or like us but bent on sheer destruction. Listen, Kagome, and listen well. Youkai are beings and youkai are beasts. We are the walking spirits of this world, and like the world we are at war within ourselves; always at war. We are at war against human beings, too – it is our nature to devour and destroy that which your kind holds most precious."

She stares at him unblinking, absorbing, confusion evident but not with what he is transmitting; just why.

"Kagome...just as it is our nature to destroy men, so is it your nature to destroy youkai. It is the reason miko have their power, and priests and monks too; it is to destroy and to protect that you and those like you were given strength."

"No...no..."

Her voice is faint; almost powerless.

"Don't say know; it's the truth. Why do you think that old miko was so surprised to see you safe with me? Why do you think she stared at you strangely when you went away so willingly in my arms?"

"I don't – I didn't -"

"You're a stranger. I get it. But don't worry, Kagome. You're proof yourself that because something is in our nature, doesn't mean our fate is defined. I would never devour you; unless you wanted me to."

The laughter grows in his bright eyes again with the innuendo; Kagome flushes, but the lessening of intensity gives her back her voice.

"You're wrong, Kouga. It's not – I'm not – there's nothing in me that wants to destroy! It was an accident; I can't control this power – until I came here, I'd never felt anything like this before!"

Her own words give her courage. Dressed in fur, back straight and eyes flashing, her arms crossed over her chest, she confronts Kouga without thinking about danger – about the pack around them – about what he has just said about youkai nature.

"You're. Wrong. About. Me."

She prods his chest firmly with each word, irritated that he's still in armor.

"I'm not a destroyer, and I don't like killing, and wasn't made to kill – that's just...it's wrong. What you said about protecting – maybe that's true. And maybe what you said about youkai is true – because I'm not youkai, and I've never met any before, so I really...so I couldn't say! But you – you're proof that all youkai don't want to destroy all things human, or I wouldn't be here now; I -"

Kagome has built up a nice momentum with her words, but in a moment she slumps again and shakes her head.

"Nice try, Kouga, but getting me angry won't make me forget that I should be sad."

A/N: I truly hate holidays; as soon as I get caught up, look what happens! I am truly sorry; there shall now be a flood of chapters. Here is the chapter of July 3rd; yesterday's chapter and today's shall be forthcoming – indeed, yesterday's is...1/3 done. How terrible. I weep for I am a faithless author. All the same, I thank all ye reviewers, favoriters, followers, and secret, ninja-like readers! This chapter is dedicated to my dear velvet_sometimes, who is in need of some love. Any of you who like my words who haven't yet done so, go R&R hers, cause...I love 'em! Chapter thirty...incoming...shortly! Oh! And I almost forgot. Today's chapter title, "Natura Sanat", means "nature saves".

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