XXXII

Alter Ego

As Kameko intends, Kagome spends a long while thinking about the things the elder wolf has said to her. She contemplates love, and what it might mean for youkai – what it might mean for any being who is not human, who does not feel human emotions, who does not think human thoughts. She finds herself wondering if love is a thing that means the same thing to all people, to all beings; if it is not a feeling but a state of being; if it is not emotion but action suspended, waiting...

She confuses herself, and comes to clarity, and then confuses herself again. She doesn't know that she is thinking on one of the Great Questions; on one of the things that have driven men to madness and given the great philosophers something to ponder down through the ages of the earth. She's not a student of deep teachings or proud sages; what she knows is only her own experience, and she can't even begin to come to conclusions from that – it almost isn't experience. One kiss – Kouga's marking, rubbing his scent against her flesh – his hands on her cheeks – the way he is always close to her -

Each time she thinks about it, she flushes, but her thoughts bring her nowhere except back to the same uncomfortable conclusions. Kouga does have feelings for her, even if they aren't quite human feelings; even if she can't say he loves her with the same degree of certainty Kameko can. More disturbing for her is recognizing the tangle of her own feelings; not love, not now, not yet – but maybe something that could become love. Some closeness, some heat...she wants him, but she knows that is not enough.

She does not know how close she already strays to a dangerous edge. Physical affection is wolfish and natural for Kouga. Because he is so calm, so comfortable, because it is natural to him, it is easy for her to accommodate his urges – the little touches, the way his hands stray just the slightest bit when they are on her, always smoothing themselves over her skin; and that kiss...she would never kiss a human boy in her own time that she had known so briefly, but Kouga is different.

And I woke up with him -

She knows she should be ashamed of that memory, but she can't help but cherish it – again and again, because each night when she slips away, tired and yawning, she ends up with at least one pup for a companion, and each morning when she wakes, Kouga is there beside her.

The days become a week, and then two.

Twice a day, Kouga changes the bandages and the herbal poultice bound over her wound. By the end of the second week it is almost healed, but he is as careful as he was the very first day; she thinks it's cute. Kagome spends a great deal of time talking to Ginta and Hakkaku – Ginta, because he wants to pick her brain for knowledge of humans, and Hakkaku because he is jealous and wants to teach her of youkai as much as Ginta wants to know about men.

Kagome is grateful for the knowledge, and for something to do that doesn't need a lot of walking around. Still, by the time she is healed enough that even Kouga must agree it's safe for her to move about, Kagome is more than stir crazy; she is convinced that if she doesn't get to leave the den, she's going to explode.

Accompanied by Kouga, she makes her way down the side of the river and then wanders into the forest with him close behind her. She exclaims at things he thinks are strange for her to be surprised at – flowers, insects, herbs; the sensation of youki rising when a family of rabbit youkai scatters from their approach.

For his part, Kouga finds himself watching her even when he has no need to watch her; finds himself growing to treasure her presence more every day, though she does nothing to entice him. Perhaps that is why; her presence is clean and fresh and utterly new to him, and everything about her calls him forward in a way that he does not understand.

On the same day that Kouga proclaims Kagome healed enough to wander, strange happenings begin near Edo, the village of the old miko Kaede.

That morning, Kaede goes to her sister's grave to make obeisance. It is a daily duty that she performs out of love; this morning, however, she finds the grave disturbed, violated -broken! The grave marker is overturned, and the ashes and fragments of bone that remain of her sister's body are stolen – taken – gone!

No sign remains to show who has perpetrated the theft, but Kaede spends a long time that morning seeking natural or unnatural remnants of a presence, of anything that might give away the nature or the purpose of the one who committed such a blasphemous act. To rob the grave of a miko – and such a one as Kikyou had been!

"Who would want to do such a thing? What old enemy, what new power would take her remains – even down to the last speck of ash?"

Her eye hardens as she stares at the fallen marker, and her steps are slow but purposeful as she turns back to the village.

She mutters under her breath as she walks.

"Dark magic...black magic...some witch..."

In the depths of the forest, not too far from the Goshinboku, not too far from a certain well, an old hag bends grinning over a green-glowing sarcophagus. It holds a shape within it that is vaguely human, but limbless and faceless; it is made of clay that comes from grave soil and the bones and ashes stolen from Kikyou's grave.

The witch's whisper summons power to attend her – summons life into the lifeless, summons a soul that has passed back to the world from whence it came. But what comes is neither a body bearing the soul she calls, nor the sphere of light she is most hoping for.

Instead, when she summons the soul of Kikyou, miko, woman fifty years dead, what comes to her is a piece of the shikon no tama; a shard of the sacred jewel. The witch is confused; it is to find such shards that she is working this magic, resurrecting this woman as her servant, and she doesn't understand why one would come now, when she is calling for a departed soul. Still, she knows better than to reject truth when she sees it.

She reaches down, and places the shard at the heart of the clay doll.

Pink light grows enormous and swells around the green glow of the sarcophagus; there is a cracking, shattering sound, as she finishes the spell, and when the light fades the witch lets out a breath and cackles her delight.

She speaks the last wordof the summoning, and Kikyou wakes once more to life.

"Kikyou! Miko! I called you back to life so that you might serve me – to find the shikon no tama and rejoin its shattered pieces, so that I might gain power; the greatest power! Power over all!

The witch points imperiously.

"I am Urasue, your mistress; now, do as I command and rise up, and go out to seek for the shikon no tama!"

"Shikon...no tama?"

Kikyou blinks once, twice, slowly. But for the brown eyes that are hers, uniquely hers, everything about her is like an echo of Kagome – Kagome's face, Kagome's grace. She is...a twin. A doppelganger; confusion waiting to happen.

"Get up, you! You are to serve me, and I command -"

A high-pitched shriek tumbles out of Urasue's mouth. Bright as the sun, Kikyou's power flames pale and sudden.

When it is gone there is nothing; the wind has blown away the ash.

A/N: And that, as they say...is that. I am making evil cackles right now; sorry this is a few hours late but I have received positive feedback from a publisher about a manuscript I sent in a month or so ago, and my glee and happiness are off the charts! What charts? ALL CHARTS! Today's chapter title "Alter Ego" means "Another I" - and of course that should be quite obvious, as most of my titles are. What happens now, I wonder? Kagome is with Kouga; Inuyasha sleeps...but Kikyou...is...awake! Well I have no idea, but we'll find out later in...chapter 33! Much thanks to all my reviewers...onward we go!

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