July 15th, 2021: "I've got the next few entries outlined, so it shouldn't take a few months before I update again!"
November 28th, 2021: *coughs* Um, I'm here now?
Another few months later, another installment to the story of Spark Squad. I'm sorry for taking this long (again), but writer's block and life really sucks. Those are my only excuses this time.
The title comes from a line from the song, "The Crow and the Butterfly" by Shinedown. My updates may not be consistent, but at least my love of Shinedown is. :)
I can't think of anything else and I'm exhausted, so please enjoy! I'm not gonna make the mistake of promising updates again, so just stay on the look-out for the eighth part! Thank you for reading! 3
In the aftermath of losing Duke, the silence of Morale's pod had been like one of the Kaminoan holding cells. Isolated, quiet, and cramped, Morale had hated being in there. It had suffocated him, overwhelming him with the force of his guilt. Originally, sneaking out to train had helped, until he had become exhausted and Sketch had caught on, making him promise to slow down.
No one could say that Morale wasn't a man of his word and, nearly ten months later, Morale's relationship with his pod had improved. Instead of making him feel claustrophobic, it now was a great place to think in the middle of his sleep cycle. More often than not, Morale found himself thinking about the newest addition to Spark Squad.
After four months with him, Morale had mixed feelings about 43.
On one hand, he didn't interact with the newest squad member outside of training that much. 43 didn't make it easy to interact with him; he was mostly quiet, kept his head down, made his words and phrases short and cold, stared at the other four members of Spark Squad with an undecipherable look in his eyes, and the only time his impeccable composure broke is when someone got too close to him.
One time, Morale had smiled at him and told him he'd done a good job in training. 43 had looked at him like he'd never heard a word of praise directed towards him in his life.
On the other hand, those interactions during training were enough to get another kind read on 43. Initially, he mostly kept to himself, but being cooperative enough if they had to do a simulation together. He displayed utter obedience to the trainers and Kaminoans, even towards Sketch depending on the day. Some days, it was easy to believe he was as lifeless as a droid. However, as the months had slowly passed, 43 began to show signs of emotions other than fear and obedience. After their squad had successfully completed a training exercise just a few days ago, 43 had joined them in while celebrating their victory.
Despite their lack of closeness, Morale was happy to see his newest squad member settling in. As 43 started to relax around them, Morale could no longer ignore the similarities between 43 and Duke.
43 watched over them the same way Duke had in training simulations. His gaze was almost always paranoid and straying towards Sketch and Ghost, the same way Duke's always had. 43 was now the best at using DC-17's in their squad, much like Duke had previously been and used the same movements Duke had, that practically demanded that he be paid attention to. While originally hesitant, 43's fighting style had become more like Duke's frustration-inducing and teasing style everyday. 43 no longer kept his hair cut at exactly regulation-length like Sketch; it was now the same length as Duke's hair had been but styled a bit differently.
The biggest similarity, the one that had caused alarm bells to start echoing throughout Morale's head, had been observed just a few days ago during a training simulation. Ghost had been struggling, which drew the attention of everyone around them. Morale's most introverted brother had always disliked being the center of attention and this was simply making his performance worse. Eventually, their trainer had come over and had gotten a little bit too close to Ghost. Morale hadn't heard a word exchanged between them, but he had certainly seen the hand that had stroked Ghost's shoulder-length, wavy hair. He had seen the way Ghost had stiffened and the hands behind his back were shaking. By chance, he had looked away and his gaze landed on 43. The newest squad member's gaze had been filled with utter hatred, the same fire in his eyes as Duke had had when he stood between their trainer and Morale.
Morale felt a pang go through his heart at the memory of that day. He tried to ignore it though, he was trying not to blame himself for Duke being taken. It wasn't easy, but he didn't burst into tears at the thought of Duke anymore, so things had to be improving.
All these similarities had led Morale to one conclusion: the Kaminiise had done something to Duke; something that had made him lose his memory of his squad, something that had made him fearful of authority, something that had hurt him. After they were through with him, he had been returned to his squad, but presented as somebody different. Morale could feel the guilt rising, but refused to acknowledge it.
Despite noticing all these similarities and drawing a reasonable conclusion, Morale didn't know what to do about Duke with them, how he should do anything, even. Morale didn't believe 43 was lying about not remembering his old squad, which would only cause more pain for everybody involved. Even if Morale told somebody, what could they do? Was it even possible to regain those lost memories? Morale had no idea.
His thoughts turned to Sketch. Morale should probably tell his ori'vod about his observations and suspicions. The improvement is Sketch's attitude had been noticeable, but the other three original members of Spark Squad could still see him struggling with his guilt. Maybe Morale's ideas about 43 would help him? Even if they didn't, Sketch always knew what to do and would know the best way to help Duke.
Resolved to talk to Sketch soon, Morale turned onto his side and did his best to get some sleep.
It took a few days for Morale to catch Sketch alone. He didn't want to bring up the connection between 43 and Duke with Ghost and Pillow in earshot.
Pillow must've thought he was doing an excellent job at coping, but Morale knew differently. Morale's emotionally constipated brother was micromanaging his interactions with the squad most of the time and the fun in training seemed gone to him—Morale refused to let Pillow worry about this, too. Ghost seemed to be doing a bit better but that may just be because Morale had a more difficult time reading him, as Ghost was not very forthcoming about his problems. The only changes Morale had recently noticed were his stronger deference to the trainers and Kaminoans, as well as pulling away from vode not in Spark Squad. Hearing something else about Duke may make Ghost worse, and Morale was determined to help him remain positive.
43 almost never ate with them when it was time for meals. For the most part, he sat alone. On his first official day with Spark Squad, he had almost gone and sat with vode on the other side of the mess hall, but Morale couldn't make out who they were. After that, 43 had kept to himself during meals.
Ghost and Pillow tended to take longer cleaning up after a training exercise, so Morale had his chance to talk to Sketch.
The two grabbed their meals together and headed for their usual table. They had just put their trays down when Morale began, "I know this will sound crazy, but please hear me out."
Sketch sat, Morale quickly following, and raised an eyebrow, smirking lightly. "Crazier than one of Pillow's stories? Well, now I'm intrigued."
Morale didn't laugh at the joke but gave a light smile to acknowledge it. "It's serious, Sketch." He inhaled deeply, and Sketch's face adopted a concerned expression. "It's about 43 and…Duke."
He trailed off, focusing his gaze on his older brother to gauge his reaction. There was no visible change in his body language beyond a slight stiffening of his shoulders. "Oh?" Sketch prodded; his tone was suspiciously light.
Morale nodded, suddenly even more worried. "I think 43 is Duke," he whispered, like he was exchanging a secret.
Sketch's eyes narrowed and his fingers clenched into a fist. Morale was quick to recognize he had angered him and forced himself to hold Sketch's gaze. "Do not joke about things like that Morale. That's cruel, not funny."
Eyes wide in disbelief, Morale's jaw dropped. How could Sketch think he'd joke about that? After everything, including the crushing guilt that Morale couldn't wish away, Sketch had the nerve to accuse him of joking? He quickly regained his composure, staring angrily at his brother. "I would never joke about that Sketch, you know that. I'm being serious."
His older brother took a few deep breaths, visibly forcing himself to calm down. "What do you mean, 43 is Duke?"
"I think the Kaminoans did something to Duke," Morale began, talking lowly and quickly, scared Sketch might cut him off, "in order to make him...different. Then once that was done, they wiped his memory and put him back here."
Morale wasn't sure what he had expected what Sketch's answer would be. Hesitant acceptance, maybe, or a bit of disbelief but willing to hear out Morale's thought process. Apparently, it was the one option Morale hadn't even considered.
Sketch's expression and body language became cold, closed off even. His voice was like ice when he replied, "Not possible."
"Why not?" Morale asked, feeling defensiveness rise.
"They told me that Duke was gone and never coming back." Sketch did a good job of making his voice dull, the only break in composure being the slight shakiness in it. "I saw them drag him away. He's gone."
"But there are so many similarities between them, Sketch! 43 has Duke's fighting style, he's great with DC-17's, his hair looks more like Duke's every day, the way he watches you and Ghost during simulations, and did you see the way he was staring at the trainer—"
"Please stop," Sketch interrupted, his tone firm and unyielding. Morale paused, grinding his teeth together in annoyance. "You're projecting, Morale. You wanting Duke back is...impeding your ability to read the situation. There're so many vode Morale, of course some of them are going to be similar to Duke."
Morale felt the indignation swirl throughout his body. Of course he wanted Duke back, they all did, but Morale knew he was seeing these similarities. Why couldn't Sketch see his point on this? "Well yeah, but what are the chances that we get a new member of our squad who is so similar to Duke? Out of everyone possible?"
Sketch sighed, running a hand over his face. "It can't be Duke. 43 looks little bit older than us, which Duke did not."
"Who knows what's been done to him for the months he was gone? Whatever happened could've caused him to look older!" Morale argued, starting to feel desperate.
Sketch's hand landed on the table and he stared at it. "Even on the smallest chance that 43 is Duke, he doesn't remember us. Is he even really Duke at that point? Just let it go, Morale."
Morale glared furiously, about to open his mouth to defend his position when he noticed Ghost and Pillow walking over with their trays. Not wanting to alert them to the ongoing argument, Morale forced his rage to cool. He couldn't give it up now. Duke had to be alive.
He looked Sketch in the eye and whispered, "I'll prove it to you. I'll prove that 43 is Duke."
He wasn't graced with a response. Sketch didn't acknowledge his words as he greeted the two arrivals.
Determination racing through his veins, Morale did the same.
After about a week, Morale decided on the best course of action to prove 43 as Duke; he would just directly talk to 43. After all, it was easy to get 43 alone and he tended to be pretty honest.
When training finished that day, Morale slowed his pace of clean-up and changing. Sketch went his usual quick, no-nonsense speed while Ghost and Pillow lingered a bit longer, fondly bickering.
Morale made his way over to 43, ignoring the strange look Ghost was giving him. "Hey 43," he greeted, stopping a bit away from him so he didn't startle him.
Despite that, there was still a slight tightening of his shoulders as he quickly spun to face Morale. "Oh, hi Morale. Can I help you?"
He smiled brightly, coming to stand closer to 43 now that he could see Morale approaching. "Just wanted to check up on you, see how you were settling in. Sorry for not doing it earlier."
43 gave him an odd look. "It's fine. I didn't expect any of you to check in with me, it's not like we can change squads."
Morale felt his heart break a bit at his words and confused tone. Maybe he should've checked in with 43 sooner? "No, but if you're not fitting in, we'd see if we could do anything to help."
"That's unnecessary," 43 replied, his head tilting. "I can do my job just fine."
That wasn't exactly the answer Morale had been looking for, but he didn't know how else to explain it 43. "I'm glad, it would suck if we were just making things worse for you."
"You haven't." The response was curt, the voice a little bit tighter, and the expression a little more blank.
Morale was confused. "Sorry, did I say something?"
The change in 43's demeanor was as quick as a raging fire. "No, no—of course not!" His expression looked vaguely sick and his tone was frantic. "I just—I just wasn't thinking when I spoke, I'm sorry. Please, I'm—"
He quickly placed a hand on 43's shoulder, trying not to be offended when he pulled away. "Hey, hey! I'm not mad, 43, I promise. I'm sorry it came across that way. Please calm down."
43 looked to be calming at Morale's words, his breathing and facial expressions appearing exaggerated in order to get rid of whatever he was feeling, as well as express how he was feeling. "I'm sorry, Morale. I don't know what came over me."
Morale sighed in relief as 43 calmed down. "It's okay, we all get like that sometimes. At least now that it happened, you should be okay for awhile."
"I wish," 43 muttered, his lips quirking up into something resembling a smile.
"Would you be okay explaining why it happened?" Morale asked, trying not to push. "Just so that I can avoid it happening again."
"Well…" 43 hesitated, trailing off.
Morale inwardly sighed, already loathing the angle he was going to play. "What if something happens during training?" He looked around, then lowered his voice and continued, a little shaky, "I think it'd make them mad." Morale hated this; he hated even more that he wasn't lying.
A look of horror crossed over 43's face before it was quickly covered up. "You're right. It's just… I don't really know how to explain it."
He shrugged. "Just do your best. That's all I can ask."
"Right." 43 looked to be trying to steel himself. "You guys are distracting."
Any apprehension Morale held was wiped away with confusion. "Distracting?"
43 sighed, looking frustrated. "Yes! Even though I don't remember a lot before joining your squad, something about you four feels familiar. At the same time, something feels different, but I can't place it. It gets distracting after a while."
Morale had been hoping for 43 to say something to confirm he was Duke, but wow. That was a lot. He buried his excitement as deep as he could; right now, 43 wasn't looking very good. "Well, I'm not really sure how to help with that."
Annoyance danced across 43's face. "Neither do I; that's why it's still happening."
He scratched the back of his neck, feeling sheepish suddenly. Morale supposed that was a bit obvious. "Right. Well, maybe if you spend more time around us, you'll get used to it."
43 looked skeptical. "Umm… maybe."
Morale smiled, motioning for 43 to follow him. "Let's start now. I'm gonna eat with you today."
"Are you sure about this?" 43 asked yet followed Morale out of curiosity.
"Look on the bright side: even if it doesn't work, at least you didn't eat alone today!"
"Sure," 43 agreed, the look on his face almost a fond smile.
The two made their way to get some food, Morale eager to prove his findings to Sketch as soon as possible.
"Sketch!" Morale called out as he tried to follow the other out of the mess hall. The elder sibling turned to face him. Something, most likely the determination in Morale's stride, told him he couldn't avoid this. He waited for the youngest member of Spark Squad to catch up with him.
"What is it, Morale?" Sketch asked, resuming his pace.
"I got proof from 43 himself!" Morale immediately informed him.
For a moment, Morale thought Sketch would play dumb, but in the end, he just sighed tiredly. "What did he say?"
"He said that something about our squad seemed familiar, but there was something different that he couldn't place," Morale explained, not able to stop the pride running through him from his discovery. "It makes so much sense, Sketch! He does vaguely remember us, but it feels different because he's different."
The tiredness seemed to grow in his older brother and he stopped walking to face Morale. "You're reading too much into things again, Morale."
Exasperation and anger grew in Morale. He was trying to get Duke back for everyone, but Sketch just had to keep stonewalling him. It would be good for all of them. "How, Sketch? Please, explain it to me." He was unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.
Some of the fight reappeared in Sketch's eyes as he glared at him for the sass. "43's words could mean so many different things. It could be a squad he saw before he was permanently placed with us. It could be because of how long he's been around us. What if the Kaminoans just messed with him that badly?"
"What about something feeling different to him?" Morale challenged.
"Maybe he saw our squad before Duke was taken away? It's not like we never wandered these halls together. And..." Sketch hesitated, trailing off. Morale crossed his arms, daring his brother to continue. He did. "Maybe it's just the option you don't want to consider: 43 isn't Duke and you're only thinking of one possible solution because you want Duke back."
Morale wished Sketch had stopped talking; he felt like he'd been slapped in the face. Deep down, Morale knew he couldn't deny what Sketch was saying, but he needed Duke back. Maybe it would make up for him being taken in the first place. "Why can't you believe me on this, Sketch? I would've thought you of all people would want Duke back."
Sketch froze, but gave Morale a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"You blame yourself, right? Well, if 43 is Duke, wouldn't that help?" Morale asked, watching Sketch intently. His older brothers' fingers had clenched into fists and looked to be shaking slightly. Sketch took a deep breath and, to Morale's surprise, turned around and began walking away. "Sketch!"
"Just leave me alone, Morale." His voice was deadly serious and Morale, a bit scared, let him walk away.
Morale sighed, leaning against the wall. He saw some of his vode giving him concerned looks, others worriedly looking around for a trainer or Kaminoan. He tried to smile reassuringly at them.
No matter what Morale did, he couldn't get Sketch to believe him. It seemed he would always take the word of the Kaminoans over Morale's. His eyes widened as an idea came to him at the thought of the Kaminoans.
He turned around and quickly made his way back to the mess hall.
"Morale?" the leader of Blitz Squad asked in confusion.
Blitz Squad was a little bit older than Spark Squad and only consisted of four members after losing Drip not that long before Duke was taken. Spark Squad had looked up to them, often shadowing the members they had latched on to. After losing Drip, the four of them had become more locked down, often staying away from other squads. Duke had shadowed Drip and a small part of Morale was glad Drip wasn't around; at least now, Morale wouldn't have to see the look in Drip's eyes, knowing he was the reason Duke was gone.
Morale sat at their table—which was on the other side of the mess hall from Spark Squad usually sat—beside Bust, who he had shadowed. Bust wrapped an arm around Morale, pulling him close.
"Hey, Ace!" Morale greeted the leader, who Sketch had shadowed, smiling at him.
"What are you doing here, kih'vod?" Bust asked, ruffling his hair. "It's been awhile!"
Annoyed, Morale tried to pull away from the hair ruffling. He was unsuccessful. "Sorry. We've just been going through... a lot."
The four members of Blitz Squad gave him sympathetic looks, Bust backing off. They knew exactly what it was like. "Don't worry about it," Freefall, shadowed by Pillow, assured.
"We just want to know you guys are getting by," Clay, shadowed by Ghost, added.
Morale shrugged. "We're getting there; it's still really hard sometimes. But that's actually why I needed to talk to you guys. I need Ace's help with something."
The other three scoffed playfully. "Of course," Bust started, smiling teasingly, "it's always Ace."
Ace rolled his eyes. "Bugger off you guys. I'll meet up with you after."
The other three groaned in annoyance, but complied. Clay placed a hand on Morale's shoulder as he walked past. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"
Morale nodded, smiling lightly and Clay continued after the other three. When it was just Ace and Morale, the elder spoke, "What did you need, Mor'ika?"
"You're good at slicing, right?" Morale asked, keeping his voice quiet. Ace gave him an odd look, but nodded. "Can you slice into the Kaminoans systems and look into a vod for me?"
"It depends on the reason," Ace replied, his tone neutral. Morale couldn't blame him, slicing was risky business.
Morale sighed, scared that Ace would react the same way as Sketch. The two were pretty similar. "I think the replacement they brought in for Duke, 43, is Duke." Ace's eyes widened. "There are just so many similarities between them. I tried going to Sketch about it, but he wouldn't believe me."
Ace ran a hand over his face. "Why is this so important, Morale? Same body as Duke or not, I don't think you can bring him back."
Denial ran through Morale's head. He was Duke and there had to be a way to fix this. "Closure," Morale replied, like a liar.
The gaze Ace ran over him was critical and Morale felt like he could read his mind. Finally, Ace nodded. "Okay, I'll do it for you. What's his full designation?"
"CT-6943," Morale answered.
The leader of Blitz Squad appeared to be repeating the number to himself, memorizing it. After a couple times, he asked, "How quickly do you want this done?"
Morale shrugged. "As soon as you can. Don't needlessly risk yourself."
"Okay, I'll come talk to you once I'm done."
Nodding, Morale stood from the table. First making sure there weren't any eyes of trainers or Kaminoans on them, Morale hugged Ace. "Thank you, ori'vod. I know this is risky for you."
Ace hugged him back. "If you think it'll help, it's worth it, vod'ika."
It was a long two weeks before Ace approached him.
In that time, Sketch and Morale kept their distance from each other. It made training a bit tense, but the rest of Spark Squad covered it. Meals likely would've been made uncomfortable, but Morale ate with 43 instead. It was a bit awkward at first, but Morale really worked to make 43 feel comfortable with him.
Two weeks after his talk with Ace, Ghost approached him after training to talk about him and Sketch. "What's going on with you two? Pillow and I have been giving you guys space to work this out, but you aren't. It's making training more difficult."
Morale shrugged. "We had a disagreement, that's all."
Ghost narrowed his eyes. "If it was just a disagreement, you guys would be past it by now."
"Well, you know Sketch. He's really stubborn," Morale deflected, rolling his eyes.
Ghost shoved him lightly. "You could approach him yourself, you know. Sketch doesn't have to do everything."
Morale sighed. "I'm handling it, okay Ghost? I'm just waiting for something. As soon as I get it, this whole thing will be over."
Looking at his feet, Ghost mumbled, "Are you sure? Because this is reminding me of..." he trailed off, but Morale didn't need him to finish the sentence.
The guilt almost drowned Morale from its intensity. He was reminding Ghost of right after Duke had been taken away, back when their squad had been distant and losing each other. He really couldn't do anything right, could he?
He pulled Ghost closer, wrapping his arms around him. The other clung to him. "I promise Ghost, I'll fix this. I'm sorry."
"Just fix this, di'kut, and you're forgiven," Ghost mumbled into his shoulder, no bite to his tone.
Morale laughed. "I'll hold you to that, brother."
After a long day, Morale was ready to go to sleep and stay that way for days. Unfortunately, they didn't get to sleep-in, so his sleep cycle would have to do.
He rubbed his eyes, about to climb up to his pod, when someone approached him. A quick glance told him it was Ace. Tiredness gone, Morale couldn't contain his exuberant grin. "Is it done?" Upon looking closer at Ace, Morale's grin fell. He emanated the exhaustion he had seen from Sketch lately. There was a hint of despair in his eyes, which were slightly red. "Ace? What's wrong?"
"Follow me." Ace's voice was quiet, and it sounded like he was a little bit congested. Quietly, Morale followed him.
They made their way through the halls until it was quiet, with just them around. Looking around to make sure they weren't being watched, Ace took the vent cover off the largest vent, and then knelt down to crawl in. Morale followed him, briefly stopping to pull the cover back up.
As they crawled through the vents, Morale thought he could hear pounding over them and realized it was the heavy rain typical of Kamino.
They finally reached Ace's desired destination, as he crawled out of the vents to the outside of the training facility. Morale ended up on a small ledge that was covered from the rain. Rearranging himself so he was sitting, Morale asked, "What happened?"
Ace took a deep breath, shaking. "I looked into 43's designation."
Morale's heart raced. He felt excitement starting to rise, but the look on Ace's face quelled it slightly. "And?"
"He's been through multiple...reconditioning cycles," Ace spat the word out, his eyes beginning to water. "He had his memory wiped, was put through rigorous training experiments, and..." Ace swallowed, wiping his eyes. "He had his designation changed."
Tears had started to well in Morale's eyes, both from Ace's words and the state he was in. At his last words, Morale's eyes widened. The despair at Ace's words started to change into hope. "It was originally Duke's number, right Ace? 43 is Duke. I can't believe I was—"
"No." Ace's voice was heartbroken. He wrapped an arm around Morale's shoulder, pulling him closer. Morale was too shocked to argue. "He's not Duke. I'm sorry, Mor'ika."
"What? But all the similarities, 43's own words—"
"43 is Drip, Morale," Ace interrupted, and Morale felt tears in his hair, "or, was. I'm not really sure how to describe it."
Morale didn't know how to react to those words. A part of him wanted to rip away from Ace and accuse him of lying. The other part of him knew that Ace would never lie about that happening to Drip. But if Duke was really gone... How could Morale ever make things right? "Did you find what happened to Duke?"
He heard Ace sniff. "Yeah. His files reported resistance to change and when it didn't work...he was decommissioned." Morale could feel his eyes tearing up again and it felt like his heart was stuck on his throat. All the similarities he had noticed were wrong. Ace seemed to know where his thoughts were going. "It makes sense you got Duke from the similarities. Duke got so much from Drip; his fighting style, skilled with DC-17's, the way he watched out for you guys... That's why he shadowed Drip. He admired him and wanted to learn from him."
Morale used his free hand to wipe his eyes, but the tears didn't start. "And that's why we felt familiar to him, but something was different. He'd been around us before, but it wasn't the same without Duke. He could see something was wrong."
The two sat in silence for awhile, neither knowing what to say. After what could've been a million years, Ace pulled away. "I need to go to the barracks and talk to the others. They um... They need to know."
"Okay," Morale whispered, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Are you coming back?" Ace asked, making his way back to the vent.
Morale shook his head. "Not yet. I... I need some air."
There was a pause, and then Morale heard the sound of Ace crawling through the vents.
Morale didn't know how long he sat there, listening to the drowning sound of the rain. He barely moved, just stared into the vast land of Kamino; the training facility, the city, and the water. The loudness did nothing to distract Morale from his thoughts.
His only chance to fix his mistake was gone, ripped away from him. Sketch was right; the Kaminoans had gotten rid of Duke and it was all Morale's fault. He had been so sure 43 was Duke, that he could fix what he'd done, but he couldn't. He felt a sob build up in his throat and brought a hand to cover his eyes. The rain was so loud, Morale couldn't even hear his desperate sobbing. At least there was a positive, then.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there and cried, but Morale eventually heard the sound of someone moving through the vents. He hurriedly wiped his eyes, trying to regain some composure. He didn't turn around to face whoever was behind him. "Hey Mor'ika."
Morale wasn't sure whether to cry with relief or with frustration. "How'd you know I was out here, Sketch?"
Sketch sat beside Morale on the ledge, letting his legs dangle and get soaked by the rain. "Ace told me where to find you, said you might need a brother right now."
He laughed, a touch of bitterness to it. "No, no, I'm fine." Morale paused, silence between the two for a few minutes. Then, "Well, go ahead."
Sketch glanced at him in confusion. "What?"
"Tell me how right you were. Tell me I'm too emotional. Say, 'I told you so,'" Morale mocked, feeling his eyes burn.
The leader of Spark Squad was quiet for a moment, turning to look towards the rest of Kamino. Then, he turned to face Morale and pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry."
Confused, Morale's arms hung uselessly by his side. "Um... Why are you sorry? You were right."
Sketch's face was shoved into Morale's neck, she he could both feel and hear his answer. "Not for the right reasons, though."
Morale pulled away, staring at Sketch with narrowed eyes. "What do you mean?"
He swallowed. "Remember when you said that Duke being would help me stop blaming myself?" Morale nodded. "It wouldn't have helped... It would've made it worse. Knowing that some part of Duke was still alive, but that he had gone through so much pain that I could've prevented... That's why I kept making excuses. Your conclusion was wrong, but there were similarities I wasn't actually looking at."
Morale let out a sob when Sketch had finished speaking and he was pulled back into Sketch's arms. This time, he returned the gesture. "I'm so sorry, Sketch. I-I was s-so focused on myself, I wasn't even th-thinking about that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
He repeated the mantra so many times until they became mumbled nothings in Sketch's shoulder. He couldn't hear what Sketch was saying in return. All around them, the rain continued pound on all surfaces, threatening to drown them. As long as they clutched each other, they wouldn't be pulled beneath the water.
Eventually, Morale's tears dried up and all he could do is heave deep breaths. Sketch pulled slightly away, using his thumbs to dry Morale's remaining tears
"Y-you were right, too," Morale breathed out. Sketch ran a hand through Morale's hair. "I wanted Duke back so badly that...I took everything one way and refused to consider anything else." He pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself instead. "I guess... I just thought if 43 was Duke and I brought him back... Maybe it'd make up for getting him taken in the first place." His voice got progressively quieter, and refused to make eye contact with Sketch.
Sketch didn't hear what Morale said, but he could take a good guess. He always had been able to. Placing a hand on his youngest siblings' shoulder, he said, "You have absolutely nothing to make up for, Mor'ika." When he opened his mouth to argue, Sketch glared at him. "All four of us could go around in circles in order to blame ourselves. It doesn't actually do anything except hurt us more."
Morale nodded in agreement. That much he'd learned from his conversation with Ghost earlier. "I thought that, since I didn't break down crying thinking about Duke anymore, I was doing better. I thought I had moved past it."
"Until our conversation a couple weeks ago, so did I." Sketch sighed and Morale winced, feeling the guilt rise again. Feeling the wince, Sketch wrapped Morale around the shoulder and leaned against him.
"So what do we do?" Morale asked, starting to feel tired after crying so much.
He felt Sketch shrug. "Stop blaming ourselves?" Morale couldn't stop the snort at Sketch's dry response and felt Sketch chuckle afterwards. "It's never that easy. We'll figure it out as we go."
Morale hesitated. "And 43?"
Sketch sighed, his head dropping onto Morale's where it lay on his shoulder. He let out a disgruntled noise, but didn't push him away. "What'd you think we should do?"
He took the time to really think about his answer. He thought of how 43 behaved, how he fought, all the meals they had shared together the past two weeks, and Morale knew his answer. "He's not Duke and he's not Drip, not anymore. We treat him as 43 wants to be treated."
Sketch smiled at the answer, tightening his grip on his little brother. "I think that's the best we can do. 43's Spark Squad now. We look out for each other."
Morale nodded. "We just have to make sure he knows it."
The two brothers let a comfortable silence fall between them. They were wrapped around each other, staring out into Kamino. Both were content, more than they had been in weeks. Even the wet pants both of them now had couldn't ruin it.
Drip and his squad were briefly mentioned back in the first part for anyone curious!
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