Casting Stones

by roku kyu

The unruly cast of Fushigi Yuugi attempts to stage the play White Stones in the Moonlight before an equally unruly audience. Ch. 15. An unexpected confrontation brings Tasuki and Miaka's relationship under fire.

4. True Confessions

Disclaimer: The characters from Fushigi Yuugi are the creations and property of Yuu Watase and related enterprises. The characters from Inuyasha are the creations and property of Rumiko Takahashi and related enterprises. I do not own them and do not make any profit from this fiction except for my own enjoyment in spending time with them.

On the other hand, the original characters Mom and Dad are my original creations and they belong to me, as do other assorted family members. So do the original plotline and plot devices AND the text, goshdangit! As for the reviewers and fanfic authors in this fic—they belong to themselves! But I get to "borrow" them for the duration of this fic…with their misguided permission, of course.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: To any newcomers to Casting Stones: This is Chapter Fourteen, not Chapter Four of this story. For reasons explained in the ending author's notes, I'm not permitted to post the intervening chapters 4-13 on this site. To those who wish to read those chapters, they are posted on the Fanficrefugees site listed on my author profile page. Thank you.

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Chapter 14. True Confessions

Part A. What Guys Talk About

Roku scowls after the retreating figure of Chichiri, repressing the childish (and frighteningly familial) urge to throw her shoe at him. However, she's distracted, as always, by the continual task of keeping the play running, now made even more complicated with a giant, missile-sized hole in the middle of the stage floor.

She claps her hands for attention. "Sorceress! CG! Aikido-chan! Kris!"

Her crew appears, flinching only slightly at the powder-blackened, straggle-haired appearance of their director, currently masquerading as Taiitsukun's twin.

Roku notes a missing crew member. "Hey, where's Kris? Don't tell me that she's still dazed from the missile attack; it was only one of Chichiri's illusions! Um, except for the fact that he blew up the stage, eheh."

Sorceress shakes her head. "No, she's fine now. She just ran up to the booth to replace Kaze-chan. Remember that you promised Kaze some time backstage?"

As if on cue, the erstwhile lighting tech appears, grinning at the battered-looking appearance of the Director. Trailing her is a medium height teenaged girl of about age seventeen with startlingly blue eyes.

Kaze-chan gives Roku a smart-assed grin. "Lookin' good, Roku. Been hangin' with the 'Extreme Makeover' crowd, eh? The gunpowder's a fashionable touch."

"Don't start with me, chicka. I may not have time to deal with you now, but you know what they say about not getting mad… And I'll bet that white-haired boy of yours would consider gunpowder a kinky new look for Taiitsukun."

Kaze-chan glares at the reminder of Tokaki's unfortunate obsession, while Roku notices her seemingly shy companion.

"What's this, Kaze? Taken up collecting little sisters or fangirls or somethin'?"

"Nope. Dee-chan here is an aspiring stage crew member at her school, and I promised I'd show her the ropes on the real deal. Of course, this is the first chance I had to bring her backstage, considering that this is pretty much the first time you've let me out of the booth."

"Ah, quitcher bitchin', Kaze, and hand over the fresh meat." Roku extends a hand to Dee-chan. "Welcome aboard, chibi. Have fun, try not to get killed, and steer clear of the pervs."

Kaze-chan smirks. "That means that she'd better stay away from you."

Dee-chan politely greets the other crew members while Roku widens her eyes innocently.

"Who, moi? I'll have you know that I'm the poster child for propriety and good taste. But anyhow, it's time for shows, rolling, and the shortest point between."

She turns back to the rest of the crew. "Let's see how much we can get done in the next five. Gotta get the Shrine of Suzaku set up, and the actors ready in the wings…"

There is a chorus of protests.

Aikido-chan waves for attention. "Look, Roku, I know a little about carpentry, and that floor is going to take a lot more than five minutes to repair…"

Sorceress chimes in. "Plus we need Chichiri back here for the next scene, not to mention Mitsukake and Tasuki."

The director frowns. "I thought I saw Mits hanging around here a moment ago."

Chichiri's Girl speaks up. "Yeah, he's here, but the question is who's gonna snap him out of his post-violence orgasmic daydream? He's still sitting on what's left of the stage, humming to himself and grinning at nothing."

Everyone's eyes turn to Aikido-chan, who bristles defensively. "What? What do you expect me to do?"

Chichiri's Girl grins slyly. "Well, the best way to divert a man from one obsession is to provide him with a different but equally interesting obsession."

"I don't know what you're talking about! There's nothing going on between us!"

Roku assumes a businesslike tone. "Of course not. No one's implying that, Aikido-chan. I'm just assigning you to make sure he knows his next scene…you know, run some lines and stuff?"

She shoves a script at Aikido-chan, avoiding the other woman's suspicious glare, then turns back to the rest of the crew. "Okay, CG, start clearing up some of the movable pieces of debris, and Sorceress, is Tasuki on his way yet?"

Sorceress clicks her cell phone shut. "I can't reach him. He's not answering the phone in his dressing room."

"Um, what about Miaka's room?"

"Just talked to her—she hasn't seen him for the past half hour."

Nuriko pauses while wandering by. "Are you looking for Tasuki?"

Roku looks up eagerly. "Yeah, have you seen him?"

"No, but I knocked on Tama-chan's door, and he told me that Tasuki was in his room. Told me to get lost, too, though not in so many words."

"Oh, shit! Something about that sounds wrong!"

Nuriko shakes his head. "I thought so myself. Why is it that I'm always the last to know about the closeted ones?"

"Gah, that's not what I meant! I'd better run over there….damn it, there's too much that needs to be done here! Listen, Kaze-chan, you and the newest stage hand go find Chichiri—he's supposed to be cleaning his face—and make him repair the stage and get ready for his big scene. Sorceress, you're Director until I get back with Tasuki, got it? The rest of you follow her instructions. Gotta run!"

The Director sprints towards the greenroom, as the others bustle off to their assigned tasks. Dee-chan tugs at Kaze's sleeve.

"I don't know; Roku doesn't seem as deranged as you said she was. Except for the costume…and the face…and the, uh, gunpowder. Oh, maybe the hair, too."

Kaze-chan assumes an evil expression. "Oh, ye of untainted innocence and unsuspecting nature, what horrors lie before you!" She drops the gothic tone in favor of efficiency. "In the meantime, though, we'd better find Chichiri. I'll check his dressing room and you check other places where men gather, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, okay. Oh. Ohhhhhhh. Um…all right, I guess."

Meanwhile, the other missing seishi is whistling happily after his fifth glass of spiked Gatorade, lolling on Tamahome's couch with his feet up on the wall and his head hanging off the edge.

He squints at his fuming companion, and snickers. "Hey, Tamaaaaaa…ya look like an asshole, sittin' there upside-down!"

Tamahome grabs Tasuki and roughly shoves him upright again.

"You're the asshole who's upside-down! Can't you just sit still and answer the damn question?"

Tasuki frowns foggily. "Uh, I dunno. What were we talkin' 'bout again?"

"For the tenth time, women! Women who are not your mother or sisters! I'm sick of hearing about your mother and sisters!" Tamahome struggles to get himself back under control. "I mean, there must be some woman that you like, right, Tasuki?"

"Nope!"

"What about, um, Roku?"

"Dickhead! She's not a woman—she's a friend!" Tasuki shakes his head at Tamahome's stupidity.

"Fine! Okay! Then what about other friends? That are female? Like, um, Miaka?"

"Ahhhhhhh, Miaka. Yeah, Miaka." Tasuki smiles dreamily. "Whoa, Miaka!"

Tamahome's eyes narrow. "What do you mean by, 'Whoa, Miaka'?"

Tasuki closes his eyes and cups his hands in front of his chest. "She has the most…the most…"

"The most what?"

Tasuki opens his eyes again at Tama's strained tone. "What?"

"You said she has the most…something, and I want to know what!"

"Who?"

Tamahome grits his teeth. "Miaka! Has the most…"

"What?"

"Damn it! What you were talking about! Miaka!"

Tasuki begins to snivel. "I ain't talkin' to ya no more! You're all mad an' shit, an' that means you're gonna hit me, an' I don't like it! I can take it like a man, but that don't mean I like it! I ain't one of those masho…masco…maso…fuckin' assholes who like ta get hit!"

Tamahome tries to calm him down. "Look, Tasuki, I'm not mad at you."

"Yes, you are! Your thingy…" Tasuki taps his forehead, "is all glowy red, an' that means that you're all pissed off an' you're gonna hit me!"

"I'm not going to hit you!"

"Then why is your oni sign all lit up? Unless…" Tasuki's eyes widen. "Ohhhhhh no! Oh no, ya don't! I ain't inta that! You want some action, you go after Nuriko or somebody else who swings that way!"

Tamahome is trying hard not to succumb to the urge to strangle Tasuki. "Listen, you asshole, I'm not into that either! I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"

Tasuki is back to snivelling. "Then why are ya shoutin'? An' glowin'?"

"Gaaarrrrgggghh!"

Tamahome storms off towards his closet, looking desperately for a cap or anything to pull over his forehead. Finally he grabs a black tie and ties it around his head, concealing his oni symbol before stomping back to Tasuki—who is once again lolling on the couch, this time holding his hands up in the air and staring at them in awe.

"Okay, see? I'm not mad at you anymore! So talk!"

Tasuki is distracted. "Yeah, okay. Look here, Tama: when I hold my hands like this and stare past 'em, it looks like I got six fingers on each hand. See? Come over here an' look!"

Tamahome leaps at Tasuki and pins his hands over his head. "Goddamn it, I don't give a good goddamn about your hands! I WANT YOU TO—!"

At that moment, his dressing room door slams open, revealing Roku in all her Toasted Taiitsukun glory. She takes in the sight of Tamahome on top of Tasuki, wearing what appears to be a black headband while pinning Tasuki to the couch—and freaks out.

"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! EVIL TAMAHOMEEEEEEEEE!"

The two seishi scream in response. "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! SUNAKAKE-BABAAAAAA!"

They cling to each other as Roku leaps at them, trying to pull Tamahome off Tasuki. "Get off him, get off him!"

Tamahome and Tasuki are wailing. "Get offa us, get offa US!"

They roll back and forth on the couch, wrestling and screaming in a confused tangle. Finally Roku gets one leg over Tamahome, pinning him.

Tamahome shrieks. "It's my worst nightmare! Sunakake-babaa is trying to have sex with meeeeeeeee!"

Once again, Tamahome's dressing room door slams open. Tokaki stands in the doorway, breathing heavily. "What's all this talk about sex? And why wasn't I invited?"

He catches sight of Roku straddling Tamahome, who is sprawled on top of Tasuki. "Why, you bawdy little strumpet! You wanton little tart! Using the excuse of being the Controller of the Universe to act virtuous, all the while having orgies with the Suzaku losers! How dare you cheat on me?"

The three combatants stop wrestling for one moment to stare at Tokaki. "What the HELL are you talking about?"

Tokaki points an accusing finger. "It's not right! It's not fair! Why are the Suzaku shitheads the only ones who get to have sex? The rest of us celestial warriors deserve a turn, too!" His expression softens into lustful tenderness. "Especially with a delectable little creampuff like her."

Roku is irritated. "How many times do I hafta keep telling you? I'm not Taiitsukun, I'm Ro—"

At that moment, Tamahome shoves a cushion into her face, shutting her up. "Listen, Oshou, you want her, you take her! I wouldn't dream of standing in the way of my master. Go ahead and take her now!"

Tokaki grins triumphantly. "That's exactly what I intend to do! Move over!"

Pulling his shirt off, he leaps into the fray, sending the abused couch crashing to the floor.

/-/-/-/

Part B. What Monks Talk About

In a somewhat quieter part of the theatre, Apprentice Crew Member Dee-chan is on the lookout for the missing monk—an assignment that agrees with her, since Chichiri is her favorite bishie. Having checked the greenroom and such, she's now at the last place he might be…and the one place she can't enter.

So she hovers anxiously near the men's room door, pushing her medium-brown hair out of her eyes as she tries to decide on her next move. "Let's see. Can't go in for obvious reasons. Can't hang around out here forever, either, without looking like a professional—or a perv. So my best bet would be to…."

Right then, the door swings open, and Mitsukake looms into view. Behind him, the door closes only partially, leaving a thin opening through which Dee-chan can catch smatterings of conversation. She approaches Mitsukake as he looks around for his line partner, Aikido-chan.

"Excuse me, Mitsukake-san, but have you seen Chichiri-san anywhere? Roku sent me to look for him, and I…"

"As a matter of fact, he's in the men's room, doing what you ladies call 'freshening up.'"

Dee-chan fights back a grimace at her involuntary mental picture of Chichiri applying mascara and powdering his nose. "Thank you very much, Mitsukake-san. Would it be all right if I wait for him here?"

Mitsukake waves an expansive hand as he leans against the wall on the left side of the men's room door. "Take all the corridor you need. It might be a minute or so, however, since Chichiri was chatting with a friend when I left." He smiles ironically. "But if it's any comfort, I'll entertain you with my scintillating personality while you wait. I've promised Aikido-chan that I would stay around here until she brings another copy of the script."

Dee-chan isn't sure how to respond to Mits' self-deprecating humor, so she merely smiles and bows slightly before taking up a position to the right of the door. While searching her mind for something witty to say to Mits, she can't help overhearing snatches of conversation from the men's room.

An unfamiliar man's voice speaks up. "Ne, I think it's true. Yours is slightly longer than mine."

Dee-chan fights back a smirk. "Got to get my mind out of the gutter. Just because this is a men's bathroom doesn't mean that they're talking about—"

To her shock, she hears Chichiri reply in kind.

"Perhaps, but length doesn't matter. I have to say that you have a particularly nice shaft."

Dee-chan flushes red and glances over at Mitsukake to see his expression. However, he's leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and arms crossed, apparently oblivious to the world.

The man's voice drifts out again. "Thank you. It's nice to know that someone appreciates it; it's not as if I get any complimentary remarks from my companions. I have to let you know, though, that you have a very interesting head on yours; it looks almost heart-shaped."

Chichiri replies. "Let me see…oh, yes, yours is different, but that rounded shape looks very nice."

"Would you mind if I touch yours?"

"Touch it? Why don't you go ahead and hold it?" Chichiri laughs. "But only if I get to hold yours in return."

Dee-chan is turning bright scarlet. "Ack! Gack! Aaaaaagggghhh!"

Chichiri sounds mischievous now. "Why don't we go out there and see if anyone notices that we're holding each other's instead of—?"

There is the shuffle of soft footsteps, and the door begins to creak open.

Dee-chan breaks down, wailing. "No! No, I can't stand to see this! My fantasy life has been shattered!"

She bolts off down the corridor just as Chichiri and Miroku exit the men's room, each holding the other's shakujou on his shoulder. The two monks stare in shock after the shrieking teen girl.

"What's with her?"

Mitsukake opens his eyes and shrugs. "A tragic case of terminal filthy mind, I'm afraid. By the way, Chichiri, Roku would like you to repair the stage; it'll make it that much easier to play the next scene if I don't keep falling through to the theatre basement."

"No problem. However, I didn't notice you complaining when I blasted the stage in the first place."

Mitsukake smirks. "True. I have to admit to a soft spot in my heart for missile launchers."

Miroku clears his throat. "Well, I should return to the balcony. Sango must be missing me terribly by now. In fact, it might be best if I gave her a little of my special TLC right when I get back." He flexes his uncursed hand as he moves off.

"Wait, Miroku!" Chichiri holds out the shakujou so that its rings chime musically. "You forgot your staff!"

The two monks laugh as they exchange shakujous once again.

/-/-/-/

Part C. What Girls Talk About

Meanwhile, the traumatized Apprentice Crew Member is staggering down the corridor past the dressing rooms.

"I did not just hear what I thought I heard. No. No way. I've worked on high school shows, and even at that level, it's complicated enough not to have time for sexual perversions. Not during the performance, anyway. So I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear anything, and just do my best to learn as much as I can from Roku and her crew, and…"

Dee-chan trails off as she hears screaming and shouting from behind one of the dressing room doors. The door is slightly ajar, so she hesitantly pushes it open, only to see—

A tangle of people in a kind of perverted conga line. Tasuki is clinging desperately to the broken remnants of the couch, Tamahome is behind him, hanging onto his shoulders, Roku is pulling at Tamahome, and a shirtless Tokaki has Roku around the waist as he grinds his pelvis enthusiastically intio her bustled Taiitsukun skirt.

It's too much for the young girl. "AAAACCCKKKK! My eyes, MY EYES!"

She runs screaming out of the backstage area. "I'm too young for this! I QUIT! No internship is worth this! I'm going back to Kansas RIGHT NOW!"

Unaware of the exodus of their latest crew member, Roku curses and shoves back against Tokaki, trying to get enough leverage to pull Tamahome off Tasuki. Unfortunately, Tokaki takes this as encouragement and surges forward, unbalancing Roku, who crashes into Tama and sends all of them sprawling in a screaming, cursing heap—especially Tasuki, who ends up on the bottom, face-to-face with Tama.

Tasuki's face takes on a distinct greenish hue. "Oh, gods, urp! I think I'm gonna, urg, gonnaaaa…"

Tamahome screams. "Get off, get off! He's gonna blow!"

"So much for the hype about the sexual prowess of the Suzaku seishi," Tokaki snorts in contempt. "How can you expect to satisfy a sumptuous woman like this if you can't even last five minutes?"

Roku's pissed. "You idiot! He means that he's about to blow chunks! Get OFFA US! And that thing that's poking me in the backside? It had better not be what I think it is!"

Tokaki backs away from Roku and raises both hands, grinning. Roku and Tamahome scramble off Tasuki, who is panting shallowly.

Roku looks around desperately. "Is there a bowl or a basin around here?"

Tasuki waves a hand weakly. "Nah, nah, I'm okay now." He takes another look at Roku's face. "On second thought, urrp…"

Tamahome pushes Roku away. "It's your face that's making him sick, Taiitsukun! Better dematerialize now!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm ROKU! Roku, not Taiitsukun, you idiot!"

She begins pulling off the latex jowls attached to her face.

Tokaki scowls. "Listen, my luscious love-muffin, far be it from me to criticize your personal habits, but it's a bit daunting to the romantic mood when you remove pieces of your face in public."

It's the last straw for Roku. "Get OUT! Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

"Now, Cupcake, I never meant to—"

Roku deliberately looks past his shoulder. "Oh, hi, Subaru. How long have you been standing there?"

Just as Roku hoped, Tokaki vanishes, teleporting before realizing that the doorway is empty.

She sighs in relief. "Thought he'd never leave. Now can anyone explain why it smells like a distillery in here?" Roku leans in and sniffs at Tasuki. "Oh. My. God. You've been drinking!"

Tasuki pulls himself to his feet, the picture of wounded dignity. "I most certainly have not. I highly resent the implication that I would betray your trust. The only libations I have partaken of are bottled water and a few glasses of Gatorade. Tamahome will attest to that."

Roku starts shrieking. "Oh my GOD! He's using multisyllabic words and enunciating clearly! He never does that unless he's shit-faced to the max!" She advances menacingly on Tamahome. "What the hell have you done to him?"

Tamahome crosses his arms and juts out his chin. "Maybe I've just been looking for some answers—answers that no one around here seems to want to give me."

Roku stares him down, too furious to feel guilty. "Well, I've got some answers for you right now! You're grounded, young man! You can damn well sit in this room and think over what you've done, until I send someone to get you for the next scene!"

"Fine with me! I don't have anything to say to any of you, anyway. Anymore!"

"Fine with me as well! Now all I have to do is figure out how to get my shit-faced lead actor through the next scene without him barfing or falling down on the set!"

Roku drags Tasuki out of Tamahome's room, slamming the door on her way out.

The redhead protests. "I resent that slur against my sobriety and competence. I resent…"

"Oh, shut up already! I need help, and fast! ChichiriiiiIIIIIIII!"

Three minutes and one startled monk later, Roku is standing in the wings, back in her usual clothes, using a mineral oil-soaked rag to remove the last of her Taiitsukun latex make-up, as Sorceress supervises the rapid assembly of the Shrine of Suzaku set on the newly repaired stage. The Shrine set stands behind a curtain depicting the outer balconies of the Imperial Palace, where Tasuki and Mitsukake will open the scene on the downstage apron with their conversation about Miaka. That is, if Tasuki is sober enough to remember his lines. Luckily, Mitsukake, ever the competent and timely actor, is already onstage waiting for his cue.

The Director throws the makeup rag away as Sorceress rejoins her in the wings. "Do you know if Chichiri is done with Tasuki yet? As soon as they get back, I have to signal Kris to raise the curtain."

"I think they're on their way."

Neither woman notices Tasuki approaching from behind some upstage props.

Roku rubs her temples. "God, as if I didn't have enough problems, now I've got Tamahome breathing fire in his dressing room. How the hell did he catch on, anyway? I thought we were being careful!"

"Look, Roku, Tamahome's a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. With all that's happened here tonight, count yourself lucky that he decided on the indirect approach instead of punching Tasuki's lights out."

"Oh, he's still up for that, hic. The only thing that's holding him back is that he's not one-hundred-hic-percent certain of what's going on. Could be a lot worse too, if he decided to try truth serum on Tasuki instead of the less reliable alcohol approach, hic. Imagine Tasuki, hic, under the influence of truth serum!"

Behind them, Tasuki suddenly stops as if struck. A blue light runs along the edges of his form as he stands transfixed in place. The light coalesces at the top of his head, flashing once in his eyes before disappearing.

Sorceress shrugs. "Would we even be able to tell? Tasuki's not usually the type to beat around the bush when he has something to say." She stops and squints at Roku. "Hey, have you got those damn hiccups again?"

"No, I can't! Not now! Dammit, I don't have time for this! But wait…" Roku takes a deep breath. "I don't think I have them. Are you sure that you heard me hiccup?"

"Not really. Maybe you were just talking fast, in your usual 'gotta make up time!' way."

"Probably. I just can't help wishing that we did have a little more of that time stuff…but then, that's been a one-note song with me all night, hasn't it?" Roku fakes a cheerful grin. "But hey, as long as I'm wishing for six impossible things before breakfast, why don't I wish for a miraculous, non-liposuction, non-South-Beach-Diet butt reduction?"

Sorceress plays along. "Well, while you're asking, be sure to request a thigh tightener for me that doesn't involve twenty-odd hours of aerobics each week."

"Shit, you don't need anything, girl! I'm keeping my own wishes for my own waistline, got it?"

Suddenly a shadow falls across them. They look up to see Tasuki towering over them, a scowl darkening his features.

"Do you have any idea of how sick I am of hearin' you dipshit women talk about stuff like that? It drives me an' every other guy I know fuckin' nuts! Yap, yap, yap—" He puts on a phony falsetto. "Oh, I wish I was a size zero! Oh, I can't eat carbs, so please take the bread basket away! No, I'll just have fuckin' lemon juice on my salad instead'a dressing! Oh, I wanna have my back ribs stickin' out like a fuckin' bone xylophone, 'cause I wanna look like those supermodels who are jus' so cuuuuuute!" Tasuki roars in frustration. "Did it ever occur to you shithead females that real men like real women with real curves ta hang onto? Not all of us guys are mindless dickheads who lust after a jabby bag of bones, ya know!"

Sorceress and Roku stand frozen in place with their mouths hanging open as he continues to rant.

"And don't give me none'a those stupid-ass looks, either! You oughta be down on your knees thanking God or Suzaku or whoever ya choose that they gave ya bodies that work at all, lettin' ya walk and talk an' do stuff that plenty of people in this world would be fuckin' grateful ta be able ta do for even a minute! But no, you gotta complain that ya don't look like the seventeen-year-old Cover Girl of the Month, instead'a bein' glad that ya rate high enough on real men's fuckability scale! But I can't waste any more time listenin' ta your shit, 'cause unlike you, I got a job ta do tonight!"

Tasuki storms off to join Mitsukake onstage, leaving Sorceress and Roku blinking in confusion.

Roku finds her voice first. "Well, somewhere in there I think there was a compliment for you and me, but I have to say…what the fuck was that all about?"

Sorceress shakes her head. "I don't have a clue. Do you suppose that he has a hangover-type headache or something?"

"Remind me to ask Chichiri to take another look at him after the next scene. But now it's showtime, so tell Kris to standby—five, four, three, two, one—Chapter Twelve, Curtain Up!"

/-/-/-/

Part D. Would Everybody Please Stop Talking?

Chapter Twelve is progressing nicely, the scenes between Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Chichiri in the Shrine of Suzaku going smoothly except for the strange intensity of Tasuki's acting.

Roku frowns. "I don't know why, but Tasuki's giving off funny vibes, almost as if he's running at a higher amperage than the rest of us."

She watches as Tasuki aggressively confronts Mitsukake while standing over Chichiri's huddled form.

Meanwhile, Kaze-chan walks up, luckily none the wiser as to the earlier Tokaki hijinks in the dressing rooms, so she's currently in a friendly mood with Roku. "And that differs from Tasuki-Normal how?"

Sorceress sides with the director. "No, Roku's right. If this were film instead of stage, he'd be overacting something fierce, almost chewing the scenery. Luckily, to the theater audience, he's just coming off as passionate instead of hyper."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Nothing, I guess. I just…" Roku gives herself a shake. "Maybe I shouldn't look for trouble before it happens."

Kaze-chan grins cheekily. "What, you and Trouble are calling it off? You're my One True Pairing, don't you know?"

Roku exhibits her advanced maturity by sticking out her tongue.

Sorceress intervenes to break off the impending eyelid-tugging and ear-waggling contest. "Okay, Kaze, you wanted to stage-manage, so you're on. Convert to the Active Shrine set now."

Kaze-chan begins talking rapidly into her headset. "Okay, Kris, drop curtain—good. Now fire up the lights: numbers three, five, nine, and fourteen, and crank down the intensity on the gold spot on the Suzaku statue…softer, softer—great! Roku, tell Tasuki to ignite the cauldron, and get him, Mits, and Chichiri on their marks. I'm counting down ten seconds now!"

Roku and Sorceress run onstage as ordered, Tasuki does a quiet Rekka Shin'en, and the oiled wood goes up in a burst of flame as the actors get into position. Roku and Sorceress run back offstage, and the curtain goes up on Kaze's command. The audience oohs at the the newly dramatic Shrine of Suzaku set, with the cauldron on the center dais roaring with fire and sending dancing light across the actors and the statue of Suzaku.

Kaze-chan continues to direct. "Kris, bring down the spot on Chichiri. I like the play of light and shadow on his face from the fire; makes him look more mysterious. We're on!"

"Damn, girl, that was great!" Roku slaps her on the back. "You've got this stage manager thing down cold!"

Kaze shrugs. "I do this kind of thing often enough in college productions; I figured it couldn't be that much different in the real world arena." She suddenly frowns at the stage. "Just what does he think he's doing?"

"He? Who? Who he?"

Kaze-chan points soundlessly at the stage, where Tasuki appears to be enacting some violence on Chichiri's person. Mitsukake has retreated to one side and watches prudently from stage left.

"Isn't Chichiri supposed to be removing his clothes for the purification?" Sorceress pages through the script.

Roku looks over her shoulder. "Guess he wasn't moving fast enough for our Mad Boy...Shit!"

Tasuki and Chichiri are now involved in a tug-of-war over the monk's last remaining garment, the kesa which he has desperately wrapped around himself as Tasuki has stolen the rest of his clothes. The Tas/Chi slash fangirls swoon in ecstasy as Tasuki gives a final fierce yank, pulling the kesa away and spinning Chichiri around.

Roku throws her hands over her face as the theater explodes with delighted fangirl shrieks.

"Damn it, that wasn't supposed to happen that way! Now we've got Full Frontal Chichiri! Wait—why am I covering my eyes?" She peeks through her fingers. "Yeah!"

Suddenly a cry of anger erupts from the front row. Roku's Mom stands up, pointing the Finger of Doom. "SHAAAAAAAME!"

"Oh shit, I forgot about Mom! Kris, lower the curtain, lower the curtain!"

But Kris is lost in dreamy-eyed lust and fails her director for the first time. Four slippers come flying at the monk, who has fallen to his hands and knees. Without even looking up, he raises one hand, lightning crackles from his palm, and the four slippers fall charred to the stage.

Sorceress and Kaze are impressed. "Whoa!"

Pissed off, Tasuki breaks character. "Hey, how come she throws five slippers at me, but only four at Chichiri?"

As an answer, the fifth slipper comes winging across the stage and smacks him upside his head.

"Shit! Fuck! Why didn't you fry that one, 'Chiri?"

The monk is grimly satisfied. "You had it coming."

Roku leans in from the wings. "Psssst! Actors! I think you've forgotten something! See the lights? Audience? Stage? Oh, yeah, I think a play is supposed to be going on… GET TO IT!"

Ever the professional, Mitsukake resumes chanting the purification sutras, and Tasuki and Chichiri return to their assigned positions, with Chichiri kneeling near the dais and Tasuki tossing his clothes into the cauldron.

Roku is talking into her headset. "Okay, Kris, I need you to bring down the spot on Chichiri's form, blur it a little so that we get a soft focus effect. Kris? Kris?"

From the tech booth, she hears, "Mmmmmm…"

"Kris, is that a yes or an orgasm? KRIS!"

"Hmmmmm?"

"Wake UP, damn it!"

Kryssa finally jolts out of her trance. "Oh! Okay, the lights! Brighten the one on Chichiri, right?"

Roku replies with snarly patience. "No, I said to dim it! But thanks for listening."

"Awww, Roku, he looks so fine like that…naked…I mean, well lit!"

"And you want to share that with all of the girls in the audience, right?"

Kryssa gets the message, and the spotlight dims instantly. The purification ritual continues with the burning and retrieval of Chichiri's kesa, hat, and prayer necklace, and ends with the pouring of sacred water over Chichiri's head. Tasuki wraps Chichiri in a white silk robe, and Mitsukake lifts him in his arms and exits to stage left, as the scenery rotates to Chichiri's room. Roku grabs hold of Tasuki's tunic just before he re-enters the stage.

Her voice is low and intense. "Listen, I don't know what you thought you were doing in the last scene or why! Are you still feeling the effects of the alcohol?"

Tasuki pulls his tunic out of her grip. "No, I'm fine! Not drunk at all!"

"Are you telling me the truth?"

Just for a moment, Tasuki's amber eyes appear to flash with a blue, angry light, but it quickly disappears.

"Of course, I'm tellin' the truth! I don't lie!"

Roku holds up her hands placatingly. "Okay, untwist your knickers; I was just making sure. Listen, I really want to see this scene played right. It's all about you and Chichiri getting down to the truth between you, understand? Now get out there and nail it!"

To Roku's great relief, the opening of the scene goes smoothly, with Mitsukake scolding Chichiri and warning Tasuki to look after him as he leaves to make a warming infusion. He exits at stage left and joins Roku, Sorceress, and Kaze-chan in the wings. Roku keeps a nervous eye on the scene unfolding between Chichiri and Tasuki.

Kaze-chan tugs on Mitsukake's sleeve. "Onii-sama, what was going on with Tasuki earlier?"

"I don't know, but I definitely felt a strange energy coming off him then…and now too, for that matter."

Roku makes a shushing gesture. "Guys, keep it down. I want to hear this scene, okay?"

The set is small, just three walls and a simple cot against the stage right wall with a lamp burning warmly on a lacquered bed table upstage. Kris has lit the set with only two soft, golden spotlights, leaving the ceiling and most of downstage in shadow. The effect is of a small, cozy space glowing within a vast darkness.

Chichiri is seated on the cot, facing Tasuki, who is kneeling before him. Both men are in profile to the audience as Chichiri explains about his mysterious friend from the past who warned him about the dangers of the abyss.

His voice is softly hypnotic. "But my friend taught me something about seeking out evil just for the pleasure of destroying it, and feeling justified in using any means available to achieve that end. How did he put it again?" He pauses as if searching out a memory. "Ah, yes... 'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster'."

Tasuki frowns. "That's a strange way of talking - gaikoku no kotoba, ne?"

The Japanese phrase is soft and musical, creating the feeling of an intimate language between the two.

Chichiri replies in kind. "Hai, he was definitely gaikokujin. He was a wanderer, a traveler..."

"Like you?"

Chichiri turns his face and gazes out into the darkness that masks the audience, looking as if he is gazing into the past.

His voice is soft and deliberate, tinged with yearning. "I believe that he wandered much farther and far longer than I ever will."

The entire theater and tech staff are rapt and silent, caught up in Chichiri's spell as he recalls his best friend, the Doctor.

Finally Chichiri turns back to Tasuki, releasing the tension. "Anyway, as I said, he turned me from that path. But it doesn't mean that I've forgotten the ways of dark magic I had learned earlier in my life. I just choose not to use that power--at least, not often. My friend was right: there is a price to be paid in walking the paths of darkness, in grappling with the abyss."

Tasuki bows his head so that it rests on Chichiri's knees, muffling his voice. "The price is your soul, isn't it? To use that power, you pay with your soul."

Chichiri lifts Tasuki's chin and smiles into his face. "Just parts of my soul, not all of it—but it still renders me impure. That's why I needed to purify myself tonight, and why I couldn't wait. I needed to reclaim the parts of myself that I had lost."

There is almost a tangible wave of emotion from Tasuki as he grips Chichiri's robe and stares into his eyes. "You did it for me, didn't you? You risked your soul to protect me, to avenge me..."

He pauses, visibly swallowing before continuing in a husky, emotional voice.

"I remember that morning, you know. I was so terrified, so hurt and humiliated... I wanted to lose my mind rather than return to that reality! But I heard your voice calling me and felt your arms holding me...and I knew that it was safe to come back. I knew that you would keep me safe. Then once you entrusted me to Miaka and Mitsukake, you went alone into the darkness and paid the price—and you did it for me!"

He catches his breath on a sob, and Roku wipes away a tear, spellbound along with the rest of the audience. She utterly fails to notice a faint blue light emanating from Tasuki's eyes, although Chichiri narrows his gaze slightly.

Tasuki's voice now rises passionately. "What have I ever done for you, that I deserve such sacrifices from you? All I've ever done is shout at you and argue with you—"

"Hush now, that isn't—"

Tasuki interrupts. "And make fun of you and play stupid practical jokes on you—"

Roku turns to her assistants. "What the hell is he doing? That's not in the script!"

Chichiri attempts to return to his scripted lines. "You forget your own sacrifices, Tasuki; you forget—wait a minute. Play stupid practical jokes? What jokes?"

Tasuki begins an emotional confession. "There was the time I super-glued your shakujou to the wall, so that you thought it was stuck there by an evil spell."

"Well, I guess it was pretty funny, although it didn't seem that way at the time…"

"And the time I filled your bamboo hat with flour, so that it spilled all over your face and made you look like a ghost. Although I didn't know about the flour being infested with beetles, but that made it even funnier—no, I mean worse. It made it worse!"

Chichiri is now gritting his teeth. "As long as you're sorry, I suppose I should forgive—"

Roku makes frantic slashing gestures to both actors, but neither one is paying any attention to her.

Tasuki is now sniffling. "And the time I cut holes in the toes of every single one of your stockings—"

"Every single one," Chichiri repeats grimly.

Tasuki's voice rises. "And the time I taped a note to the back of your kesa that said, 'KICK ME, NO DA!'"

"DAAAAAAAAA!"

Chichiri leaps up from the bed and grabs his shakujou, taking a swing at Tasuki. Tasuki ducks with his celestial speed, then takes off running across the set. Chichiri is close on his heels, casting blasts at him with the shakujou that Tasuki is just barely able to dodge.

Roku is shouting into her headset. "Kris, lower the curtain! Goddamnit, there goes my brotherly bonding scene!"

Kaze-chan grins. "Well, they do look kind of like brothers right now—brothers who want to beat the crap out of each other."

Roku is not amused. "Come on, Mits, help me break this up."

She runs out onto the curtained stage, while Mitsukake follows her, grumbling. "As usual, my few lines have now been deleted. No brotherly bonding for me, either. Here!"

He makes a grab and catches Chichiri as the magician runs past. Roku is equally successful in tackling Tasuki.

"Okay, break it up, boys." She gets in Tasuki's face. "What the hell were you saying out there? Why did you deviate from the script?"

Tasuki is wild-eyed and panting. "I don't know. But once I got started, I couldn't shut myself up! It was like I'd been drugged with truth serum or somethin'!"

Roku freezes, struck with the memory of what she had been saying to Sorceress. "Oh, damn it. Damn it all to hell! Fucking Shin again!"

Mitsukake is confused. "How can it be Shin? I didn't hear you hiccupping."

"I did a couple of times earlier, before the chapter started, but thought it was nothing. Wrong again." Roku grimaces in frustration. "Seems that Shin is increasing in strength or something."

"I believe that I've had just about enough of Shin's antics for one night." Chichiri disengages himself from Mitsukake's grip and straightens his robe. "Tasuki!"

Tasuki tries not to cringe. "Uh, yeah, 'Chiri?"

"It's time that we eliminated Shin once and for all."

"Do you mean…?"

Chichiri is staring at Roku intently. "Yes."

"Now look, guys," Roku backs away nervously, "there's no need for violence between friends. Why don't we sit down and have a nice cuppa tea and talk this over?"

Chichiri is terse. "No time."

Tomo suddenly appears from where he had been skulking around the wings. "Kekekekekekeke! Er, I mean, most regrettable but necessary. Getting Shin out of her, I mean. That's what you intend to do, right? Not planning to blow it up inside her or anything—that would be too messy, wouldn't you say, kekekeke?"

Chichiri doesn't take his eyes off Roku, who is still backing away from him. "Shut up, Tomo. Tasuki—the Boushin tactic, if you please."

In a flash, Tasuki appears behind Roku and grabs her, flipping her upside down.

Roku starts wailing. "Hey, no fair! Just remember—if you kill me, no more chocolate whipped cream for either of you!"

"Hold her still, Tasuki. NOW!"

Chanting a spell, Chichiri whacks Roku between the shoulder blades with the flat side of the shakujou. Roku retches and gags, and then a small pearl-like object erupts from her mouth into Tomo's waiting hand.

The painted magician is ecstatic. "Shin! My beloved Shin! Oh, how I have missed you, my precious widdle Shin-ee Ween-ee!"

Roku gags again. "Put me down; I think I'm going to be sick."

"Not feeling too good myself at the moment." Tasuki sets Roku on her feet while grimacing at the sight of Tomo babytalking to Shin.

Chichiri advances on Tomo menacingly. "Listen carefully, Tomo. If I catch you lurking anywhere around Roku or any other member of the cast or crew, I'll see to it that Shin disappears so far up one of your orifices that you'll never walk straight again. Do you understand?"

Tomo is only half-listening. "Fine, fine. The important thing is that Shin and I are back together again! Oh, my precious Shin!"

He holds up the pearl and kisses it…before his freaky eyes widen. "Wait. It's wet." He suddenly remembers where Shin has just been. "Aacckk! Gyaacck! Aaaauuugh! Shin has Girl-Spit on it! I've got Girl-Spit in my MOUTH!"

He runs out of the wings, wailing. "Where's my betadine? Where are my antibiotics? Somebody call a doctor!"

Roku smooths down her hair and readjusts her headset. "Not to sound too cliched, but riddance, rubbish, and all that jazz. Hey, thanks, guys; I shoulda known I could trust you two."

Chichiri bows politely. "It was my pleasure. You can count on me to whack you with my stick anytime."

Roku leers at him. "I'd love to follow up on that, but unfortunately, I have to set up for the next scene. Sorceress, make sure that Nuriko and Hotohori are ready and dressed—or in Nuriko's case, undressed. Kaze-chan, find Aikido-chan and set up the bathing area set. Recheck the lighting with Kris so that it looks different from Tasuki's bathing room from Chapter Four."

The cast and crew disperse to their tasks.

Tasuki lingers a moment. "Uh, hey, Roku. Is Tama still grounded in his room?"

"Yeah. Plus as soon as she's back, I'm sending Sorceress there to get him made up for his opening scene in Chapter Fourteen—and you have to be ready for that as well."

"No problem. But first, I wanna check and see how Miaka is doing, okay?"

"All right, but make it quick. We need the entire cast together in the next chapter."

Tasuki grins. "Fine, quickie it is, by the director's orders."

He dodges Roku's slap, laughing as he strides off.

Roku stretches a moment, then sighs, smiling. "Damn, it feels good to be rid of that accursed Shin. From here on out, it oughta be fair weather and smooth sailing. Nothing to worry about except the technicalities."

A shadow of a tall figure falls across her.

Roku absently notes the slim, graceful form in the silky dress and smiles in a friendly manner. "Oh, hey, I haven't seen you in about ten chapters, Chao-chan. How are you enjoying the play?"

Chaotic Serenity moves farther into the light. "I need to have a word with you, Roku-san."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Glossary and references:

gaikoku no kotoba, ne? - Those are foreign words, right?

Hai, he was definitely gaikokujin – Yes, he was definitely a foreigner.

Oshou – Master (A/N I had expected Tamahome to call Tokaki "sifu"—Chinese for martial arts master, or "sensei"—Japanese for teacher—but I listened several times to the Japanese subs of FY and was surprised to heat Tamahome address Tokaki as "Oshou"—a Japanese term for Master that is usually used for monks.

Chichiri's quote about "He who fights with monsters" is by Friedrich Nietzsche, from Jenseits von Gut und Bose.

/-/-/-/

Author's Note: (1-7-06) Hang on; this is gonna be a long one, folks.

First of all—Casting Stones is back! Or maybe the right way to say it is that I'm back with Casting Stones. Whatever. The important thing is that we are reunited!

However…for those of you who aren't familiar with CS, or who once were but now have forgotten it: this can be damned confusing. Because the simple fact is that on this site, CS has only Chapters 1-3 and this new Chapter 14 up. Why? Well, to put it simply: the site rules that have been enacted over the past eighteen months have put a definitive end to CS being onsite in its entirety.

The banning of script-fics was of course a blow; however, I could have (with much effort) converted all thirteen pre-existing chapters to third-person present tense and eliminated the script format. In fact, I had started work on this last year (i.e. Chapter 1-3) when the final blow came in the form of banning the use of song lyrics, even if credited as carefully as I had credited them (artist, album, production company, year).

Let me make this clear. I feel that CS without script format weakened the wonderful expression of the "play-within-a-play" philosophy, but the important elements could still be preserved using present tense. However, taking away the musical numbers in the play would have stripped so many key scenes that Casting Stones would no longer be Casting Stones. I mean, how would the Tasuki purification scene work without Tasuki and Miaka's emotional interpretation of Secret Garden's "Prayer"? And what about the impromptu swing dance scene with Chichiri (My Baby Must Be a Magician) that triggered the running Kryssa (and other Chichiri fangirls)-Torture gag? How could my cast effectively rip off Purple Mouse's Another Story without using the Gorillaz "19-2000"? Or the infamous Taiitsukun-Roku/Tokaki love duet "Some Enchanted Evening" that drove Kaze-chan around the bend?

There was one saving grace in all of these bans: the fact that I had been too busy writing "Bridge Over the Abyss" and "Hidden Paths" to go back and rewrite all of CS out of script format. Had I gone to that considerable effort, and then had to remove the offending chapters anyway because of the song lyrics ban—I would be one Very Unhappy Roku. Foaming at the mouth Tasmanian-Devil style, to tell the truth.

Instead, Casting Stones Chapter 1-13 (and soon 14 as well) are all safely ensconced on the Fanfic Refugees site listed in my author profile. Also, I'm posting the script-format version of Chapters 13 and 14 on my LiveJournal, which is the link called "homepage" on my author profile. Yes, it's true—I write CS in script format because that's how it feels most natural, before converting it to present tense for posting on this site. So for those of you who, like me, prefer the original script format to this watered-down present tense, go ahead and take a look at the Fanfic Refugees site or my LJ.

There's another piece of positive news. Due to the change in the fiction ratings guidelines, Casting Stones has been able to return to its original PG-13 (aka "T") rating. I had defensively changed it to R ("M") in the past, because the Motion Pictures Rating System specified that more than one use of the F-word classified it as an R-rated fic. Ahem. Tasuki language kind of blew that out of the water. However, the new guidelines do not have that restriction, so CS is now back where it belongs rating-wise.

Gah! Enough boring chatter about site rules! Back to the Good Stuff!

First of all, from last time's (last year's!) Chapter 13: Thank you to all of you who replied to my quiz about the "Wilson" reference in the akugi. You ALL got it right, and I have to admit to being surprised, since I thought I was one of the few people who saw "Castaway." Hmph. Learn something new, I do, every time I interact with you lot.

I also wish to thank Ryuen for her helpful, quick beta-read of this chapter. Quick FYI note, Ryu-chan: No, Chichiri's lines referring to the Doctor are not a new insert. They are canonical to White Stones in the Moonlight, and had been in that story since the Ritual chapter was first posted almost three and a half years ago. Only one or two WS readers caught onto the fact that it was the Doctor whom Chichiri was referring to (the lines about the double pulse in his wrist)—and they had been huge Doctor Who fans before they ever knew about Fushigi Yuugi.

Onward: warm thanks to It's the Dee (Dee-chan) for offering her head to the chopping block as "Stage Intern of the Week." :P And another repeat thank you to Chaotic Serenity for agreeing (four years ago already!) to be the deus ex machina for this play. What does that mean? You'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out.

And no, you won't have to wait another eighteen months for a CS update, because…I already have the next chapter written; well, 95 percent of it, anyway. In fact, as the emotional climax of the play, it's been written for over 3 years now. Yeah, it's my usual "writing backwards" habit, starting with the first chapter, then the climactic chapter, and then writing everything in between. I only have to go over it and re-edit some parts to correct any egregious errors that were typical of my writing three years ago. Well, heck, I was just starting out back then—because you know, today IS my Four Year Anniversary as a fiction writer!

It's true. I had never written fiction before I started in the world of Fushigi Yuugi fanfic, so this has been a learning and growing experience in every way. Of course, as I said at the end of Bridge, you, my friends, have been my greatest teachers and have taught me many of the tenets of Creative Writing, even though I have no time in my life to take a formal course. Eternal gratitude, from me to you. :P

But Don't Panic. The next chapter will not be the last chapter of CS—just the emotional climax. You know me; I need to wrap things up neat and tidy, so there will be at least 2 chapters after that. It's my fond hope to be able to stamp "Complete" on CS in the near future…but you know, "Hidden Paths" always sings its seductive song to me, and oh yeah, I have that Inuyasha fic that I have failed to update for a year now!

One last word: although Casting Stones has long been regarded as my outright comedy piece, I personally have seen it as a mixture of drama and comedy. The last few chapters have leaned heavily towards the comedic side…but the scales are about to balance. Looking forward to seeing you there. Soon. Very soon.

Wait a minute—I had promised Ryuen that the Doctor would appear in this chapter, but then decided that the scene was a bit cheesy even for Casting Stones. NOT, however, for a Casting Stones Akugi! So here we go!

Akugi

Disclaimer: The character of Doctor Who is the property of the British Broadcasting Corporation.

/-/-/

"I gazed too long into the abyss..." Chichiri's voice is hushed, tinged with fear.

"I don't understand," replies Tasuki, looking intently at Chichiri. "Please explain it to me."

"'Take care, for if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.' That was a valuable warning given to me some years ago by a close friend; no, he was more than that. He was my best friend, although I never knew his real name. He turned me from the path I had embarked upon. You see, I was training to become a powerful mage, learning to wield soul-destroying magic for the greater good—or so I thought at the time. As I said before, this was some years ago when I was young and foolish and eager to take on all the evil in the universe to expiate my own sins."

"Why was that such a bad thing? It sounds kinda...heroic."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it? Heroic and romantic...just the thing to appeal to a young man's wounded heart. But my friend taught me something about seeking out evil just for the pleasure of destroying it, and feeling justified in using any means available to achieve that end. How did he put it again?" Chichiri pauses, lost in thought. "Ah, yes: 'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.'"

Tasuki frowns. "That's a strange way of talking - gaikoku no kotoba, ne?"

Chichiri smiles. "Hai, he was definitely gaikokujin. He was a wanderer, a traveler...a foreigner with pale skin and blue-green eyes, and a double pulse in his wrist…"

At that moment, a strange wheezing, groaning noise fills the theater, and the audience gapes as a tall blue British police box materializes on stage with a resounding, clanking boom.

Roku is stunned. "What the…"

The door to the police box opens, and a manically energetic and stunningly handsome man bounces out. He is clad in a velvet frock coat with silk cravat, and has neck-length chestnut hair curling in wild waves.

He spots Chichiri sitting on the cot and runs up to tug at his arm. "Come, Houjun, no time to waste! The Swarm will be here any second! Must enact Plan B!"

Chichiri's expression is caught between shock and delight, and his mouth works without any sound coming out.

Roku comes striding out on stage. "Hold a minute, Doctor! You're in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

The Doctor waves a hand dismissively. "Nonsense! I am never wrong! At least, not often. Well, no more often than once a month…oh very well, once a week, perhaps."

"Well, you're wrong right now. You belong in 'Bridge' or 'Hidden Paths', not 'Casting Stones'!"

"Don't be silly. I distinctly heard Houjun calling for me. Didn't he mention his best friend?"

Mitsukake joins them onstage. "You're not him. I'm Chichiri's best friend!"

"Ridiculous! I'm the Doctor, and I'm his best friend!" He shakes Chichiri's arm for emphasis.

Mitsukake catches hold of Chichiri's other arm and tries to tug him away from the Doctor. "I'm the doctor in this story, and for the last time, I'm his best friend!"

"No, I am!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

Chichiri is getting pulled back and forth between the two doctors, and his eyes begin to glaze over.

"Cut it out, both of you!" Roku roars, pulling Chichiri away from both doctors. "Mits, get back in the wings! Doctor, get back in the TARDIS and get outta here before the BBC finds out about this! They'll sue my ass so fast that even the TARDIS will get caught in the backdraft!"

Mits stalks off while the Doctor readjusts his cravat with wounded dignity. "How can they? Didn't you list a disclaimer above?"

"Yeah, and that's about as much protection as a tissue in a monsoon. So you'd better skedaddle, Doctor."

"So there's no Swarm?"

"Not in this story."

"And this story would be…?"

"Casting Stones. It's a play that takes place in the years after you left Chichiri at the monastery."

His blue-green gaze turns out to the rapt audience. "So that would explain the hundreds of people watching us at this moment."

Roku's mouth quirks up. "Could be."

"Ah." The Doctor blushes. "Errr…I'll take my leave then. You're certain the Swarm isn't here?"

"Positive."

"Very well, I'll be going then." He waves at Chichiri. "I'll see you a bit later, Houjun."

Chichiri waves back, bemused, as the TARDIS disappears with another shrieking, groaning wail.

Roku dusts her hands. "Well, that takes care of that. Let's start the scene again, people, from—"

At that moment, a black winged nightmare beast drops out of nowhere and sweeps up Roku in its pointed teeth, carrying her screaming off into another dimension.

Chichiri stares up at the spot where Roku disappeared. "I guess the Doctor was right, as usual."

Tasuki joins him. "But what are we gonna do, 'Chiri?"

Chichiri shrugs. "Get Sorceress to direct the rest of the play. All right, people, on your marks!"

/-/-/

Rats! Abducted by the Swarm into another dimension! How much rougher can this holiday get? At any rate, I hope that all of you had a very blessed holiday season, and are enjoying the beginning of a wonderful New Year!

Ja ne!

Roku