Slip of the Tongue
"You know, we could've been done much, much sooner if you hadn't screwed up." One, mildly pissed and soaking wet copy ninja muttered as he peeled off pieces of his clothing while his mission partner did the same thing behind him inside that white-tiled bathroom illuminated by warm light.
"Okay, let me clarify something, Kakashi..." Genma trailed off as he unzipped his dark pants, tugging it off him and taking his boxers with it. "I did not screw up. I screwed someone up, yes. A few, so did you. I was also able to screw someone. Beautiful woman. Mind you. And very sexy. But I did not screw up. The mission was a success!" Eyes focused on the side of the copy-ninja's face as Kakashi stripped out of his inner vest with an attached mask.
Kakashi threw a towel right at Genma's face when his mission partner remained seated at the edge of the toilet bowl, stark naked, and looking every bit of the smug he was with that irritating smirk on his face. Thank, Kami, the senbon was gone or he would've gladly plucked it out of his mouth and struck his partner with it.
"It was supposed to be for two nights only, Genma. Two nights. And how long have we been in this motel?" Kakashi huffed as he stepped in the tub, opened the valve for hot shower and pulled the shower curtain close so he could at least rid of Genma's presence together with the thick moss and algae that clung unto him when they made a dive for the garden's fishpond to momentarily escape their pursuers.
"Uhh, a week? Just think of it as an extended vacation, Kakashi." Genma urged, as he flapped the towel open so he could dry himself with it while the shower was occupied.
"It's not an extended vacation when the mission was just finished." Kakashi ground out as he furiously scrubbed himself off of the stench of pond water irritating his nose, hoping to also scrub away his displeasure at an extremely simple recon mission gone wrong.
It was very simple really.
Some rich, old, businessman sought for shinobi service to find out whether his third wife, in a span of seven years, was having an affair. They only needed to present him with pictures, a video for added proof and stronger evidence, and that was it! It should've been as simple as that.
BUT NO. Nothing was ever simple when he was with Genma.
To be honest, he could've done the mission alone. He could've been lounging lazily on his old sofa now, reading icha icha or maybe sleeping in with his ninken, but no...no, no, no. Genma's name just had to be printed beside his on a simple C-rank mission which was supposed to be for two nights only! And someone just had to fuck up in handling their mission equipment! So, they had to improvise.
Kakashi found himself glaring at the poor, now very much disfigured, complimentary motel soap when he heard Genma speak.
"At least old man Hiroto no longer has lingering doubts about his cheating wife because he saw what she could do. He saw first-hand what his wife could do to this body...I mean who needs pictures when you've seen the real thing!"
It took Kakashi all his might not to slam the horribly disfigured soap back to its holder, afraid to crack the tiles, adding to their expense, as he reminisced their night of "improvisation."
If only Genma had not forgotten to uncap the video recorder he left in the master's bedroom during the first night of the wife's sexcapades, they could've been done. The second night was even more frustrating, because while Kakashi made sure that the recorder was uncapped and there were no more obstructions, Genma had forgotten to charge the device leaving them with useless technology which Kakashi gladly crushed in front of Genma using his bare fist.
Their budget didn't allow them to procure another one, what with all the mishaps and the delay, and so—being the adventurous one between the two of them, it was decided that Genma transform himself with a henge and entice the naughty missus to a one-well planned and well-timed night of debauchery.
Unfortunately, as it turned out for them, the salacious wife didn't sleep with her chosen gentleman up until the third date—and that was how he got stuck with Genma for a whole damn week.
Genma's wide, wide grin was met with an extremely unimpressed look on Kakashi's face the moment he pulled the shower curtains open upon finally deciding to barge in on his partner's shower time, eager to wash off the pond water stench and any evidence of lily pads on his brown hair.
Kakashi didn't even hold back on his glare as a very naked Genma with that irritating, cocky grin plastered on his face stepped in on the tub with him under the spray of the hot shower.
Kakashi closed his eye and patiently counted to ten as he ran a hand over his silver hair to shake out the heavy droplets stuck to them.
They've done this numerous times already. Getting in the shower at the same time, bathing together, eating together, sleeping under the same bed roll in the forest because apparently, a fat centipede scared the hell out of Genma, sipping coffee on a single cup because Genma was way too lazy to make his own while in the jounin headquarters…
Really, they've spent so much time together ever since they were young. Enough times to solidify the kind of trust between partners that would make any one think that if one of them gets captured—that being Genma, Kakashi would go and save him, probably after a significant amount of time where Genma suffers torture first before being rescued.
Kakashi would have thought that considering his long-time history with Genma, he'd have saved up a considerable amount of patience for the guy to tolerate all his crazy antics but nooo. Ohh no. He didn't even make it to the count of three when he made a grab for his towel because Genma—troublesome, dangerous, womanizing Genma—started singing Mama Mia.
"Here we go again." Kakashi muttered under his breath, with a roll of his eye, as he wrapped the towel around his waist.
"My, my, how can I resist ya?" Genma continued and was shaking his jounin ass under the shower when Kakashi yelled.
"Gaahh! I wasn't joining in! You've been singing that song for the better part of the week ever since you heard it over the mansion!" Kakashi furiously swung the shower curtains open and stepped out, almost slipping on the tiled floor because, Genma, like the filthy, annoying, snake that he was, had no qualms on just leaving all the pieces of his clothing on the bathroom floor.
And no matter how great of a ninja you are—when you're roommates with Genma—the universe just strips you off of all your training and balance in the world to probably compensate to an anomaly of nature such as him.
"Aren't you gonna take a shower with me?" Genma asked, hair covered in bubbles and one eye closed as he made a peep from behind the shower curtain, obviously trying to mask his chuckles upon witnessing Kakashi's almost date with the cold, tiled floor.
"I hope you drown, Genma. I hope you drown." Kakashi said as he slammed the bathroom door to a close.
"No one drowns in the shower, Kakashi!"
"I hope you do!"
.
.
.
Kakashi was already dressed in the standard, black jounin pants and shirt, minus the flak vest, when Genma emerged from the bathroom, thick steam following him out as he watched the copy-ninja moving around their motel room and collecting their stuff so that he could shove it inside Genma's pack.
Genma's eyebrow raised questioningly, but didn't make an effort to point out why Kakashi was filling his bag to the brim instead of his own. He clearly remembered that they came into this mission bearing equal weight but now, he wasn't so sure about that.
"You know what? I still don't get it why you're pissed." Genma started as he sat on the sofa, drying his hair with an extra towel. "I remember a much more fun Kakashi than the one in front of me now."
Kakashi aggressively zipped Genma's pack and dropped it on the carpeted floor, before eyeing him furiously. At least Genma thought it was furious because Kakashi's lazy, exposed eye was watching him seriously.
"We wasted too much time, Genma." He began again. "And don't get me started with that disgusting fish pond. You'd think that rich people took care of their gardens but clearly, they don't because that could be the only explanation why the water in that pond smells like sweaty feet. That or you pissed yourself when you saw the husband bring out a shot gun."
Okay, now Genma was almost sure why Kakashi was pissed. Because despite the copy-nin's lackadaisical manner, Kakashi was a clean-freak. An extremely, clean freak both in things and in body that sometimes it was almost obsessive compulsive. Add it to the fact that his sense of smell was out of this world and it was true that that fish pond stank like garbage, so he could only imagine what his partner was going through when they extracted themselves from that hiding place.
"I did not piss myself, Kakashi. But that gun was a great reminder that we shinobi aren't bulletproof." Genma said as he thought back on that moment where the husband caught him balls-deep inside his young, cheating wife and decided that a shot gun was the answer to all his misery in the marriage department.
And so, one shot gun and a dozen men, clad in black suits later— also carrying guns, they found themselves hiding underneath the fishpond in the garden's mansion because they couldn't camouflage themselves beneath the abundant, knee-high bushes or scramble to the trees fast enough without getting themselves in the line of fire.
Their mission was to only prove that the wife was cheating on the husband so it had already been agreed that there was no need for unnecessary casualties during the supposedly short mission. Well, he could've changed back to his old self, undo the henge, and stood by with Kakashi, crouched behind the gutters of the wide roof, but a Genma with sex-filled mind wasn't at one with the universe…and so the fish pond and the shot gun happened.
"And we wouldn't have been reminded of that if you got our job correct the first night!" Kakashi ground out as he swung the door of the small fridge in their room open, only to be met with emptiness and some complimentary bottled water.
If Genma could tune in more closely, he'd swear he could hear Kakashi grinding his teeth behind that mask, but that did not stop him from continuously provoking the already pissed-beyond-hell, copy-ninja.
"Are you frustrated? Like sexually? Because I feel it you know. The tension in your body, your muscles. I mean I don't blame you; we've been watching that naughty wife do some naughty stuff for the past week. Hell, you saw her do me." He grinned as a senbon appeared on the palm of his hand, twirling it first before pitching the end in his mouth.
"I am not sexually frustrated, Genma. I am starving. We haven't eaten anything since lunch." Kakashi grumbled as he shut the small fridge door to a close.
"Well, you can eat me." Genma said nonchalantly, and he honestly didn't know where that out-of-this-world statement came from, but he wasn't complaining even when Kakashi shot him a startled, bewildered look, which immediately shifted into something murderous.
"What?"
"What?"
After a beat, Genma chuckled and repeated what he carelessly said the first time…now with more finesse and practiced ease, and a little bit of editing.
"I said, you could come eat with me. I'm heading out to grab a late dinner right after I put on some clothes."
For a moment, Kakashi stood in the middle of that room eyeing him suspiciously…when he suddenly spoke.
"Hmm. I thought I heard something else...because if there's a mouth that's gonna get stuffed tonight. That'd be yours." Kakashi said with all the seriousness in the world which left Genma reeling in shock, jaw dropping in surprise and disbelief at the copy-ninja's words.
"...y-you mean with food? Or with your..." Genma stuttered, not knowing what to do when Kakashi began walking towards him.
"Yes." Kakashi menacingly replied in a low grumble as he approached the door which was strategically placed just beside the sofa where Genma was sitting and stepped out of their bedroom, shutting the door closed, leaving him in a catatonic state, ears flaming red, and a surprising arousal beneath the towel wrapped around his waist.
Genma's eyes were squinting suspiciously as he tried to make sense of the copy-ninja's single, cryptic response when...
"You know you could've told me this the first night, then we'd have settled the problem on who'd be sleeping on the bed." He teased.
"You're still sleeping on the sofa, Genma." Kakashi answered from the other side of the door, which had Genma chuckling and rubbing his face with the palm of his hand unable to hide the mirth and the warmth he was feeling on his cheeks—because really, after all those years, who'd have thought that the great copy-ninja dabbled in that department? Or was he just messing with him?
A/N: This story is a result of random one shot prompts I've read on the internet, written in the middle of an extremely bored state during a night of heavy rain. I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading.