Chapter 8
Hagrid directed his bike toward a large patch of grass near what looked like an entrance
into a giant turret. In the fading light Zack thought he saw a lone figure with long, white
hair – Dumbledore most likely. Zack's stomach did a somersault as the realization hit that
landing, on the hard ground, was a necessary part of flying. Damn that Isaac Newton!
He watched intently as Hagrid took his bike straight in for a landing, pulling the front
wheel up slightly so the rear wheel touched first. Zack tried to relax but was failing
miserably.
A voice spoke into his right ear. "It will be okay, Zack. Just loosen your grip on the
handlebars and point the bike slightly downward."
Zack lurched the bike to the left and barely avoided falling off. "What the hell was that?"
He looked around but could see no one. Russell squawked loudly from the cat carrier.
"I'm sorry, girl."
"Zack, it's Albus Dumbledore. Do not fear. I am simply projecting my voice to assist in
your landing."
"You could have warned me or something," Zack grumbled. He reluctantly loosened his
grip, took a deep breath, and pushed gently down on the handlebars. The bike began to
descend at breakneck pace.
"At that rate, you will not land until the morning," Albus criticized. "Try pushing down
with a little more force. There is no need to worry. I will not allow you to harm
yourself…at least not today."
"Oh, funny." Chagrined, Zack pushed down harder on the handlebars and increased his
descent. He was headed right for Dumbledore, so he steered a little to the left of the old
wizard. The ground grew closer and closer, rushing up at him and looking very, very
solid. Extremely solid in fact. Right before landing he remembered to pull up on the
handlebars, but in his fear pulled too hard and the bike began to ascend again. Zack
lurched in his seat and almost went head over heels over the handlebars as the bike
suddenly stopped. A moment later the bike was on the ground, Hagrid having grabbed it,
and Zack and Russell were safe. Zack was more than a little impressed.
"Thanks, Hagrid," Zack said sheepishly.
"Yer welcome. It was a pleasure ridin' with ya. But, I need to get to me hut and feed
Fearless her dinner. Come by the hut when you get a chance."
"I'll take you up on that, and thanks again."
Hagrid waved as he walked off away from the castle, pushing his motorcycle ahead of
him. Zack saw that all his bags were stacked near the landing leading to an impressive
(and massive) entrance. Zack turned to look at Albus Dumbledore. He couldn't help but
be a little disappointed that Hermione wasn't there to greet him.
"Perhaps you noticed that Professor Granger is not here," Albus said. I bet he's a mind
reader. Albus winked at him and continued on. "She is on an expedition to retrieve
some octopus tree bark for a special potion she is brewing." Just then, the door to the
school opened and very hard-looking, older man came out. "Zack, this is Argus Filch, the
caretaker at Hogwarts. Argus, this is Zack Flood." Filch, that's a fitting name, Zack
decided.
"It's nice to meet you," Zack said, extending his hand.
"I don't care how old ye are, if you step one toe outta line I promise you'll get detention."
Filch's eyebrows had practically disappeared into the age lines on his forehead as he
stared at Zack's extended hand. "And stay outta the forest," he added disapprovingly.
"It's off-limits."
Charming. "Er…well… yeah, okay," Zack replied lamely, dropping his hand and looking
askance at Dumbledore, who just continued to smile. A loud meow interrupted the
proceedings. "Do you mind if I let Russell out of her crate? It was a very long trip."
"Of course, there are several cats around Hogwarts during the school year." Dumbledore
looked concernedly at Filch, who'd reacted strangely to the word cat.
"I'll be going then, Headmaster." Filch looked angrily at Zack and limped quickly back
inside.
"What was that all about?" Zack asked, approaching the crate and opening its door.
Russell slowly stuck her head out and sniffed the air. She looked around and then
jumped down onto the thick green grass.
"I'm afraid Argus lost his cat last year. He is still grieving."
Russell sniffed the grass for a moment, walked up the front door, sat down, and meowed
loudly at the two men.
"Why, indeed," Albus answered.
Does he speak cat?
The door opened again. This time three house-elves scurried out, grabbing Zack's bags
and quickly retreating inside. Another elf pushed his bike into the darkness away from
the castle. Russell watched the goings on with curiosity.
"Hey, where are you going with my bike?" Zack called out.
"There is an enclosure where we will keep your bike while you are here. I'll show you
where it is tomorrow," Albus promised. "Now let us get inside out of the damp night air.
I will show you to your room."
Russell meowed again.
Albus addressed the feline directly. "Quite right, I will show you to the kitchens on our
way to the room."
"Wait a minute, you really do speak cat?"
"Not precisely, but a close acquaintance has provided me with unique insight over the
years." His eyes twinkled with mirth.
Must be an inside joke. Zack yawned so hard he had to stop walking. "I'm sorry about
that. I guess I'm a little tired."
"No need to apologize. I, for one, appreciate a good yawn." Dumbledore suddenly
yawned so mightily himself he almost fell over. "You see…wasn't that wonderful?"
"Uh, yeah…that was quite a yawn all right," Zack agreed.
"Would you care for a bite to eat before you go to your room?" Albus asked, as they
stepped inside the giant doors. Zack was amazed by the immensity of the structure. A
fifteen-yard wide staircase stood directly ahead of them, leading to a massive wall where
two suits of armor stood poised. Paintings of widely varying sizes and subjects covered
the walls. Most were portraits and most were snoring.
"Halt! Who goes there?" a voice challenged from Zack's right.
Zack looked around and saw an armor-clad knight shaking his fist from a portrait on the
wall. Zack pointed at himself, incredulously.
"Yes, you, ye scurvy dog. I'll run ye through with me trusty lance, if ye take another step."
Dumbledore stepped in front of Zack. "It's quite all right Sir Cadogan. He is one of the
new first years."
"He's certainly the biggest firs'-year I've ever seen. Ye sure he didn't trick ye?"
"Quite sure," Dumbledore replied, giving Zack a sidelong glance over his glasses.
"On yer way then," he said gruffly, turning and tripping over a tree root. "I meant to do that."
Zack raised an eyebrow and turned toward Dumbledore, who had started walking again.
"Pardon me," Zack yawned again and stretched his arms.
"I think bed would be best then," Dumbledore advised. "Just a moment." As Russell
caught up to him, Dumbledore bent down, whispered something, and pointed down a
long hallway. Russell went like a flash. "She's off to the kitchens for some dinner. Now,
let us proceed to your quarters."
Zack mentally scratched his head and followed the old wizard. With each step his energy
decreased until by the time they got to his room, he could barely keep his eyes open. He
hardly noticed the almost-beheaded ghost that greeted him, a poltergeist trying to hit him
with a vase (Dumbledore spelled it away with a flick of his wand), an empty suit of armor
doing cartwheels, and an open door leading to a room full of oddly colored socks.
"Your bags have already been brought up and unpacked. If you need anything – well –
wait until morning, as we are short staffed at the moment. The full staff does not report
until Thursday, you understand." He looked at Zack over his glasses. "I will send a
house-elf around in the morning to check on you. Good night and once again, welcome
to Hogwarts."
"Thanks," Zack mumbled and looked around blearily for the bed. It was a beautiful grey
and red four-poster, but Zack didn't care about that – it had a mattress and pillows. He
was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
***********
Cotton mouth. He definitely needed some water and a toothbrush. Yeccchhh. "Where am I?"
"Hogwarts, sir…in the guest quarters." A high pitched-voice said from somewhere.
Zack squeezed his eyes hard and rubbed them with his hand to get them moistened. He
sat up and spied a house-elf wearing a bright orange poncho standing a few feet from his
bed starting at him with eager eyes. Zack cleared his throat as best he could.
"Thanks. May I have some water please? My throat is a little dry."
"Of course, sir! Right away, sir! I apologize most profusely for not having it at your
bedside table. BAD SCOOBY!" The house-elf chastised himself and proceeded to ram
his head into the nearest wall.
"Stop that!" Zack said in a panicked voice. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I must punish myself for ill-serving you," the now woozy house-elf said.
"Well, don't do that." At least not first thing in the morning. Zack stretched and got out
of bed. He realized he was still in the clothes he wore yesterday.
The house-elf scratched his head. "It is my first week at Hogwarts, sir. The last of the
family I served died suddenly, leaving me with no place to go. Headmaster Dumbledore
most graciously agreed to take me on. I…am not sure of the rules here. I once again
apologize for making you angry."
"I'll get angry if you pound your head against any more walls." Zack looked over the
nicely appointed room. It had three four-poster beds and was clearly meant for multiple
people. He saw the water jug and glass on a table not 15 feet from the bed. He walked
over and chugged down three glasses in quick succession. "That's much better." Zack
decided to ignore the look of disappointment on Scooby's face. "Now, if you would be
so kind as to show me to the lavatory." Scooby, pleased to have a task, led Zack to a
large oak door in the foyer. He noticed to his right the double doors he assumed to be the
entrance doors.
"Would you be needing anything else?"
Zack paused at the slightly open door. "I wouldn't say no to some breakfast."
"Breakfast is served in the Great Hall, sir. If you like I would be most glad to escort you
there." Scooby's eager eyes were trained on Zack.
Nervous about the adoration in the house-elf's eyes, Zack gently refused the offer. "Nah,
that's okay. I'd like to explore a bit on the way there. But if you could find my cat, I
would be most appreciative. That is, if it wouldn't be taking you away from your other
duties."
"I would be honored to find your cat, sir." And before Zack could describe Russell,
Scooby was out of the door like a shot.
Zack shook his head, yawned, and entered the bath. It was ancient in appearance but
appeared to have most of the modern necessities. The floor was stone but felt warm.
Nice. There were two showers and a separate claw foot tub. He noticed his toiletries had
already been stored on some shelves next to dual copper sinks. The mirror was enormous
and irregularly shaped although generally square. He looked at himself for a moment and
had to admit that he'd looked better…and, after doing a test sniff of his under arm,
smelled better for that matter. He showered quickly, eager to start exploring. He found
that his boxers, jean shorts, t-shirt, and socks had all been neatly pressed. Thanks,
Scooby.
He opened the enormous doors and peered out into a short hallway that looked to merge
with a larger one. He closed the door behind him and started to set off. Idiot! He turned
and looked for a room number or something but saw no distinguishing marks.
"How am I supposed to find my way back here…breadcrumbs?"
"Not a good idea in this place, I'm afraid," an elderly gentleman said from a portrait just
ahead to his right. "Peeves will see right through that and will steer you into…some not
very nice places."
"Peeves?" Zack asked.
"He is the resident poltergeist and a damned nuisance."
Zack stared at the talking painting, unsure as to how to proceed. "I'm Zack Flood, a new
student here at Hogwarts. With what…er…whom do I have the pleasure of conversing?"
"A new student? At your age? I think not." The man in the portrait fluffed up the ruffles
around his neck and looked disapprovingly at Zack.
Zack did his best to ignore the snub. "Well, it's a long story, and I'm hungry, so I'll be
heading off to the main hall. You wouldn't happen to know how to get there?"
"Of course not. I am a painting. New student indeed." The man sniffed and walked out
of the picture.
Just wonderful. Undaunted, Zack set off. If he remembered the details from Hogwarts:
A History, the guest quarters were located generally to the right from the Great Hall, so he
turned to the left. He knew the Great Hall was near the main entrance where he came in
last night, but last night was such a blur he couldn't remember how to get there. He
passed through hallways littered with sculptures, suits of armor, antique tables, tapestries,
paintings, and many things Zack could not begin to identify. Out of curiosity he tried
several of the doors he passed, but all were locked. While the portraits were polite, none
of them could help him find his way to the Great Hall. His mood was quickly turning
from curious to irritated. He eventually came to a set of stairs that led down. He
remembered reading that the potions classroom was downstairs – and not far from a
stairway that led to the Great Hall - so decided to take a look. Maybe Hermione's back?
The air became progressively damp and stale as he descended. Acrid smells floated to his
nostrils and he could swear he smelled formaldehyde, monkshood, and possibly blood.
Well, there goes my appetite. At the bottom of the stair was a wide corridor lit on both
sides by torches every 15 paces or so. He thought he could hear a crackling fire and some
kind of bubbling down a hallway to his left. The hallway led him into a large classroom,
which contained 20 or so desks, with metal stands at each one. All of the desks had deep
scratches, burn marks, and other scars. I think this must be the place.
After looking around a bit more he decided the place was damn gloomy. The bubbling
noise was louder from behind the podium and Zack noticed a door behind it that was
slightly ajar. He opened it slowly and poked his head in but couldn't see around the short
hallway. Stepping carefully, he peered around the corner. I wouldn't want to startle her
around an open flame.
It was not Hermione. Zack saw a tall black-haired man dressed all in black, paging
appreciatively through a magazine, standing behind a large steaming cauldron. It was
Zack's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Snape. Remembering that the
professor was the author of the new potions textbook, he guessed that the professor was
covering for Hermione in her absence. More interestingly, Zack noticed that the
magazine he was ogling was Wizarding Vogue. I wonder what Ginny will think about
that? Zack snapped his head back around the corner but feared it was too late.
"Who's there?" Professor Snape snapped, throwing down the magazine.
Zack heard him moving and decided it was best to run. He who fights and runs away…
He ran through the open door into the classroom and slammed it behind him. Ignoring
the professor's shouts to stop, and without a glance behind, Zack ran through the open
door leading to the hallway, slamming it as well. A set of stairs to his right beckoned him
and Zack didn't stop until he reached a landing several floors up. Maybe he didn't
recognize me. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and listen for signs of
possible pursuit. All was quiet, so it appeared he had escaped. His stomach made an
audible grumble and he cursed himself a fool for not letting the house-elf guide him to the
Great Hall. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a blur of grey and Russell came up to
him, affectionately rubbing the expanse of her body against his leg.
"Mrow," she chirped.
"Why yes, I am hungry, so nice of you to inquire. I see you've had no problem
acclimating to your new surroundings. You wouldn't happen to know where the Great
Hall is, by chance?" Russell looked up at him and then proceeded to vigorously clean her
shoulder.
"Thanks." He was beginning to think his idea of exploring before breakfast was not one
of his better choices.
"Ah, young Mr. Flood. Did I hear you inquire as to the whereabouts of the Great Hall?" a
noble sounding voice said behind him.
Zack came face to torso with his first ghost. "Uhhh…I…uhhh…y…y..yeess."
"Are you unwell? You look as if you've seen a ghost?" Then the ghost started to laugh,
and Zack's face turned a light shade of red. "I most humbly apologize but it has been
ages since I was able to say that." The ghost bowed and said, "I am Sir Nicholas de
Mimsy Porpington. We met briefly yesterday evening, although it seems clear you do not
remember our encounter. Hello, Russell. I trust you are well?"
Zack was still trying to digest a ghost with a bad sense of humor who knew his cat, and so
didn't really register what the ghost had said. "Sir Mimsy de whatington?"
"Sir Nicholas is just fine," the ghost replied. "Before we were sidetracked, I recall you
needing to find your way to the Great Hall."
Lost in thought, Zack didn't really register what was said. "The Great Hall? Oh yes, I
understand that is where breakfast is served, but I can't find it."
"It would be my pleasure to escort you there. By the way, you were looking a bit peaked
when I first saw you. Are you feeling ill?"
"No, not ill. I was wandering around and…got lost," Zack ended lamely. "It doesn't
matter. I'm really hungry. Let's go."
Sir Nicholas escorted Zack down a corridor and as they followed a bend to the right, the
ghost told Zack many minute facts about each object they crossed. He pointed to a young
woman dressed all in turquoise who inhabited a portrait of a castle. Russell, irritated with
the slow pace, trotted up ahead and out of sight.
"That is Esmeralda Gaffington, a royal ward who was later executed for lying with the
wife of the minister of magic." Oh, really? "If you look closely, you'll see a set of
golden hoops that were apparently a gift from her lover. It's too bad she decided not to
become a ghost. I think her story is quite fascinating."
Before Zack could remark on Sir Nicholas's strange comment, the corridor ended and
they were at the top of an impressive marble staircase leading down to a set of immense
oak doors.
"Those look familiar; aren't those the main entrance doors?" Zack asked.
"Yes they are." Sir Nicholas turned to look at a large grandfather clock shaped like a
manticore (if Zack's Dungeons and Dragons experience was still accurate). "If you will
excuse me, I am late for a planning session."
"Planning session?" Zack asked wondering what a ghost needed to plan for.
"Yes, there are many ghosts in Hogwarts and we must coordinate our entrances and exits
so we are not all cluttering up the Great Hall during the beginning of Year Feast. And
there is Peeves to consider," he ended with a look of disapproval. Just then the clock
struck 10 AM. "I really must beg off. The Great Hall is to the left at the bottom of the
stairs. Enjoy!"
"Thank you," Zack shouted after Sir Nicholas and then walked down the stairs and
entered the Great Hall at last. The hall was immense, with four long rows of tables,
enormous banks of windows, unlit torches, and as Hogwarts: A History reported, a
ceiling bewitched to look like the sky. If the ceiling was right, it must be overcast
outside. At the far end of the room was a set of tables on a raised dais, perpendicular to
the tables on the main floor. He could see a group of several people standing around a
table on the raised platform. Even at the far end of the room he couldn't mistake
Dumbledore and Hagrid, but the others were unfamiliar. As Zack approached the table,
Dumbledore turned to him and waved him forward in invitation. The other people all
turned in Zack's direction and watched his approach. He became a tad self conscious of
his informal dress. At least my underwear is pressed.
Dumbledore stood and greeted Zack as he approached. "Zack, I was wondering when
you would show up. I almost sent out a search party." A few of the people smiled, but
they all appeared to take the comment seriously.
Zack grinned nervously and seeing the stairs more than a few feet away, jumped up onto
the dais. He noticed surprised glances from the attendees, of particular note he saw a
striking woman with grey-streaked black hair in a very large green hat, looking over her
rectangular glasses with obvious disapproval.
"Zack, I am glad you arrived before we adjourned. If you will permit me, I would like to
introduce you to some of the fine teachers here at Hogwarts. Then we will see that you
get some breakfast. Of course, you remember Hagrid." The huge, bushy man gave Zack
a wave. "The attractive woman at the far end of the table in the green hat is Professor
Minerva McGonagall; she will be teaching you transfiguration." It was the woman that
had disapproved of his jumping up onto the dais. She nodded curtly at him. "To her right
is Professor Flitwick, who will be your charms professor." Flitwick was a little person,
with white hair and beard and a happy expression on his face. He nodded his head in
greeting. "To his right is Poppy Pomfrey, our school physician. I hope you and Poppy
will become better acquainted, given your shared profession."
"Shared profession, pah! Butchery is more like it," the grey-haired, stern looking woman
exclaimed, looking at him with an expression just short of disdain. "Although, I am
interested in discussing how you cured your niece."
Zack hoped Poppy was in a bad mood, because if he had to deal with her condescension
on a continuing basis he wasn't sure how long he could keep quiet. But he managed to
gather himself, nodded politely and said, "I would be most interested in hearing your
expertise on the matter."
"To your immediate right is Professor Vector who teaches Arithmancy," Dumbledore
continued quickly, "which is a course for second years and above, I'm afraid." The
professor shook Zack's hand.
"And last, but not least, is a new teacher this term for a brand new class - International
Magic Studies - Vala Tillinghast."
Vala was a stunning woman with a palpable Scandinavian appearance. She looks like the
lead singer for ABBA; the boys will be lining up to take her class. She gave him a wide
smile – of course, her teeth were white and perfect. "It is nice to make your acquaintance,
Mr. Flood. Your story is fascinating. I made some inquiries and no one can recall any
case similar to yours."
"I'd be happy to discuss it with you sometime. At least, what I can remember about it,"
Zack said and shook her hand. He felt an odd sensation at her touch, but wrote it off as
unimportant. The teachers all looked ready to go, so Zack bid them farewell. "It's a
pleasure to meet all of you, and I look forward to learning anything you can teach me."
As Albus turned to him, the other professors all took this as their cue to leave. "Zack, I
want you to know that my office is always open to you, day or night, should you need
anything. Now have a seat, and I'll get you some breakfast." Dumbledore spread open
his arms and all sorts of food filled his plate and the rest of the table. "I would love to
stay and chat, but there is a great deal to be done before the students arrive next week.
Enjoy."
"If yeh don' mind some company, I could stand a bit more breakfast," Hagrid offered,
eyeing the now full table.
"Not at all, it would be nice to have some company. I often ate alone because of my odd
hours as a surgeon." Then, before Zack knew it, they had eaten their way through a pile
of eggs, a stack of pancakes, a bunch of bangers, and a great deal of other delicious food.
In between bites, Zack tried to educate Hagrid as to what a surgeon did, with a modicum
of success. Hagrid turned out to be decent company, once Zack got used to his somewhat
gruff manner. Hagrid told Zack about his many years at Hogwarts and how he'd been
expelled in a case of mistaken identity.
"I don't hold no grudges though. It all turned out fer the best."
"I'm glad to hear that you're happy with the way things came out for you. I'm not sure
I'd be as generous."
Hagrid shrugged his massive shoulders in reply. "Say, how'd ya like to have a tour of the
grounds?" But no sooner had Hagrid made his offer than a crack of thunder interrupted
them.
"Maybe tomorrow, when the weathers clears up a bit. Besides, I should probably do
some reading. You wouldn't happen to know the way to the library, would you?"
Hagrid chuckled. "Yeh sound like Hermione; she loves that place." Zack smiled. After
thinking on it for a minute, Hagrid provided Zack the directions. "Don't ferget, the
staircases change so if yeh get lost, just call out fer a house-elf."
"That's all right. I figure if I get lost enough times, pretty soon the place will start to make sense."
Hagrid laughed and patted Zack on the back. "I'll be seein' ya then."
Ouch. Zack waved weakly still trying to get his breath back. He stood up and stretched,
and feeling quite full from the huge breakfast, started off for the library at an easy pace.
The main set of staircases was inside a tower that must have been several hundred yards
high. However, something was amiss…none of them were moving. I wonder if they're
broken. The silence was complete; the only sound being the echoes of his footsteps
resounding eerily up the walls of the tower. Even though there was no definitive map of
Hogwarts, Gryffindor house should be up and to the left, Ravenclaw up and to the right,
and both Hufflepuff and Slytherin downstairs. While climbing the stairs he made a
mental note to amble up and see the Ravenclaw dormitories as he thought he might be
sorted into that house. No sooner had he climbed a few stairs he heard a click, followed
by a groan. He looked up and saw that a couple of the staircases had started moving.
Finally awake, I see. Feeling pretty good about life in general, Zack increased his pace
but his left foot sunk up to his knee in one of the stairs, and he almost wrenched his knee.
"What the hell?" he said, trying vainly to pull his leg out. "All right, this is very funny –
ha ha – but it's time to let me go." Nothing happened; his foot was anchored. He waited
for a few moments, hoping if he stopped pulling it would let go…but no such luck.
"Can anyone hear me?" he said in a loud voice, but no one answered. So he called
louder, this time using the names of the people he knew at Hogwarts. No one answered,
not even Scooby. So much for calling a House-Elf when one's in need.
"Russell!" he yelled, his voice growing hoarse from shouting. "Where is a damn cat
when you need one?" Zack finished in frustration.
"I have seen no cats about. But if I do, I will be sure to let you know."
Zack turned to look behind him and saw a pale figure all in black, smirking at him. It's
official. I'm doomed.
"Well, well. What do we have here?" Professor Snape purred.
"I somehow managed to get trapped by a rogue stair," Zack said, trying to make light of
the situation.
"So you have. At least this way you won't be spying on anyone else…will you?" Snape
was enjoying this far too much.
"I…I don't know what you're talking about." Shit.
"Don't you?"
Zack forced a laugh to which the professor curled his lips in a kind of smile. "Would you
mind…," Zack implored looking down at his trapped foot.
Snape smiled -- and Zack knew he would mind. Snape looked at his pocket watch. "I
have to be going now. Good luck." He walked right past Zack going down the stairs.
Zack had had enough. "Wait a minute! Aren't you going to free me?"
"It only takes a simple counter-curse to free yourself." He stroked his chin with his hand.
"Consider this a pre-term test for your Defense Against the Dark Arts class."
"Can't you at least get someone else to come and help me?" THAT was a mistake.
Snape's face unexpectedly lit up and he smiled. Zack decided he preferred the grimace.
"I will call on someone to keep you company. Oh, Peeves. I have someone here that
needs your help," he called loudly upward, so that it echoed up the entire length of the
tower. Then turning back to Zack he gave a curt, "Have a nice day," and turned the
corner at the top of the landing and was gone.
Zack could have sworn he heard the Jaws music in his head as he saw a figure swooping
down from the very top of the tower. He could hear mumbling, as if the…person…was
talking to himself, but Zack couldn't understand it. As it drew nearer, he could see the
ghost was dressed in very loud colors, complete with an orange bow tie. As it drew
nearer he could make out the words he was saying.
"Was someone calling Peevesy weevesey…?"
Great, now I have to put up with bad rhyming…as if being stuck in a stair wasn't bad enough.
Peeves gaze settled on Zack. "Lookie, lookie do we have an ickle firstie caught in a stair?
No…it can't be. Term starts next week. We loves the start of term, the ickle firsties are
so easy to tease."
"Hello, my name is Zack Flood, but you can call me Zack. And you must be the Peeves
I've heard so much about." Courtesy couldn't hurt.
"Are you speakin' to me?" Peeves asked incredulously.
"Of course. And might I say that is one lovely bow tie you have there." Okay, maybe
that was laying it on a bit thick. But maybe it was working, because Peeves clearly
looked confused.
"Uhh, my name is Peeves, …Peeves, the poltergeist. I've been haunting Hogwarts for
over 100 years."
"100 years? That's very impressive," Zack said, desperately trying to free his leg.
Zack's response must have signaled to Peeves that it was okay to talk. And talk the ghost
did, at length, about how he became a poltergeist, how someone named the Bloody Baron
apparently cursed him when Peeves caused him to lose a bet, and how that even now that
the Baron was a ghost at Hogwarts too, and Peeves was still frightened of him, Peeves
didn't want to leave his home. Then Peeves proceeded to list dozens of food items he
missed from his living days.
"…and there's pickled herring, pickled mushrooms, pickled banana…"
Yecchh. Zack knew he had to interrupt as his leg had started to go numb. "Pardon me,
Mr. Peeves, I hate to interrupt, but I really could use some help to free myself from this
stair."
"MISTER PEEVES! He called me Mister Peeves! I'm Mister Peeeeves…I'm Mister
Peeeeves… What a jolly day it is…for I am Mr. Peeeeves."
Zack lowered his face into his hands.
"I will help you I will…Zack Flood. MISTER Peeves will bring help for you! Wheee!"
Peeves soared up and up until Zack could see him no more. Alone again, naturally.
Forty-five minutes went by without anyone coming to help him. He tried talking to the
stairs, to no avail. He took a deep breath and let it out explosively. He listened to the
sound echo up the tower and could have sworn he heard a voice. He strained his ears,
hoping he hadn't imagined it. A moment later he heard it again…and this time he
thought he heard his name.
"In here!" he shouted.
A rush of footsteps and then, "Zack…are you in here?"
It was a voice that Zack would have been glad to hear under any circumstances, but now
he was ecstatic. "Ginny? Is that you? Please let it be you."
He heard footsteps on the stairs below him and he turned to see Ginny jogging up the
stairs dressed in a quite fetching black cloak.
"You're out of my sight for less than a day and look at you," Ginny said, starting to laugh.
"Hey, this isn't funny. I think my leg has lost all circulation." More laughter. "I might get gangrene."
"Zack…please stop…my sides are starting to hurt," Ginny said in between laughs.
He stared at her, a none-too-pleased look on his face. "Would you mind?"
"We could have some fun first," she said, licking her lips and raising an eyebrow.
"I hate to break it to you, but I've been stuck like this for almost two hours."
"So?"
Zack took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "My legs are numb…all three of them,"
he said, giving her a meaningful look.
"Okay, now I see." She took out her wand. "Libero."
Zack felt the stair loosen its grip and, with Ginny's help, he pulled free. His leg wouldn't
support his weight, yet, so he sat down and began to rub it.
"Here, let me help," Ginny offered and began kneading his calf, shin, and thigh.
Zack felt the blood returning and with it the "needles."
"Zack, are you okay?" Ginny asked, noticing his discomfort.
"I'm fine, it's the needles. What brings you here, anyway?" She gave him a cool look.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to see you…just curious."
"To see you, of course. And to make sure you hadn't been beaten to death by a tree or anything."
"Your confidence in me is underwhelming," Zack responded, disappointed.
"This from a man caught in a stair for two hours."
Zack saw the look on her face and had to smile, which quickly became a laugh. "Ginny, I
am glad to see you." Zack flexed his leg, and pulled himself to his feet with the help of
the railing. "I think I can walk now."
"I'm guessing you are staying in the guest quarters?" Ginny asked, leading Zack down the stairs.
"Yes I am…not that I have a clue as to how to get back there."
"With every word you utter, my confidence in you grows," Ginny said loftily.
"You're asking for it."
"Am I?"
"And I'm just the person to give it you." She flashed him what she was wearing under
her robes, and it wasn't much. "You are a naughty girl, and I think you need a good spanking."
"Why good sir, such talk in a house of learning."
The banter continued as they made their way to his room. He was fully erect by the time
they neared his room…but something was wrong. Odd noises were coming from his
room. Is someone torturing animals? Zack reached for the door as he and Ginny
exchanged confused looks. His gaze fell on dozens of cats running rampant all over the
room with a bleeding Scooby chasing after them.
"Master, you've returned. I did what you asked; I found your cats." Scooby said proudly,
wiping some blood from a scratch on his cheek.
Dumbfounded, Zack looked around at the vast assortment of cats…Russell not being
among them he noted. Looking upon Scooby's beaming face; Zack had no idea what to
say.
"Zack, what did you ask of him?" Ginny whispered, pulling Zack's ear close to her mouth.
"I asked him to find my cat Russell. You remember her."
"Had the house-elf ever seen your cat before?"
"Well…"
Ginny shook her head and took control. "Scooby was it?" The house-elf nodded.
"You've done a fine job, and we thank you." The house-elf bowed low enough that his
nose almost touched the floor.
"Oh, thank you so much, Mistress. Scooby lives to serve."
"Now, what we need you to do is return these cats to where you found them. Can you do that?"
"Of course, I would be most happy to. Thank you, thank you."
Ginny and Zack made themselves comfortable on the shredded sheets on the bed, waiting
for Scooby to dispense with the cats. Zack decided to tell her about his encounter with
Professor Snape.
"Snape 'reads' my magazine!?" Ginny asked, disbelieving. "High praise indeed. You
didn't happen to see which issue it was?"
"I believe you were on the cover dressed in something purple."
"Ah, March 2003. He has good taste. Did you see which picture he was looking at?"
Zack rolled his eyes. "I tried to see as little as possible, thank you very much."
Ginny laughed and looked lost in thought for a moment.
"Ginny? Hello, Earth to Ginny."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Must've drifted a bit. You know I would have paid money to see the
expression on his face…among other things."
"Ginny, you're unbelievable."
"Thank you."
No sooner had the words escaped her lips Scooby showed up to take away the last of the
cats, a pretty white Persian.
"Can Scooby do anything else?"
"No thank you Scooby, you've done quite enough for today. I'll see you tomorrow
morning," Zack said. Scooby bowed and left closing the door behind him.
Ginny stood up and walked slowly way from Zack. Once she was about six feet away she
turned and looked at Zack, who was still seated on the bed. "Now, where were we? Ah
yes, my cloak or more specifically, the removal thereof." Without any fanfare she
whipped off her cloak to reveal a hunter green Merry Widow, complete with a matching
garter and belt.
Zack noticed a mini cat'o nine tails, whip, fuzzy handcuffs, silk scarves, and a riding crop
attached to the garter belt around her waste. "Very nice, but what's with the mini sex toys?"
"It's for the upcoming Christmas catalog. I haven't named it yet, but it's for the
Dominatrix-on-the-go, if you know what I mean. Now watch." She unclipped the whip
off the belt, and it immediately grew to full size. "Care to try it out?" She snapped it, and
Zack could see she was no amateur.
"Um, it's not really my style, but I'm sure it will be a big seller. Now put the whip away
and come here," he said hungrily.
"You think Snape would be interested?" she said, fingering the handle and smiling evilly.
"Ginny!"
"It's those swooshy black robes he wears." Zack just rolled his eyes. "Ah well, you can't
blame a girl for trying." She reattached the whip to the belt, whereupon it shrunk back to
its original size and approached him slowly, her stiletto heels clicking on the stone floor.
Where did those come from? Her pale skin shone luminescent against the dark green silk;
every breath she took caused her breasts to heave over the bustier. Zack decided he didn't
really care where the stiletto heels had come from. "Now, what do you want?" She
reached him and straddled his lap.
"I'll give you one guess." She smiled and Zack reached up, ran his hand through her
silken red hair and kissed her neck with soft nibbles.
"Not so fast. Why don't you lay back and make yourself comfortable." Ginny sidled off
of him and onto the ripped up sheets. Zack turned over, crawled to the head of the bed
and settled onto his back, a noticeable bulge in his shorts. Ginny looked at the bulge and
then into Zack's eyes. She crawled like a cat towards him as Zack smiled and leaned
back on his pillows. Upon reaching his legs she ran the back of her nails up his calves
and onto his thighs and then dragged them back down again. Zack breathed heavily, and
reached for her but she backed away, shaking her head and clucking her tongue. She
pulled his t-shirt out of his pants and pushed it up to reveal his stomach and chest. Ginny
flipped her hair over and let it drag teasingly across his midsection. Zack leaned his head
back enjoying the moment and when he looked up again…
"AHHH!" Zack screamed as Peeves face suddenly appeared not three inches from Zack's.
"Peeves?!" Ginny shouted. "What are you doing? Get out of here!"
"Does Zacky wacky have his dicky wicky inside Ginny winny?" Peeves singsonged as he
soared backwards to the foot of the bed, where he hovered just under the canopy.
Ginny covered up with the tattered remains of the duvet cover while Zack pushed
himself into a sitting position. "Peeves, now is really not a good time," Zack said,
trying vainly to keep his anger in check.
"I thought Zack was my friend," Peeves said, his girth expanding.
Ginny jumped in. "Zack is your friend. Why, he was telling me all about you just a few minutes ago." Ginny turned to Zack and mouthed Peeves is your friend? Zack shrugged
his shoulders. Be very careful with him, she finished.
Peeves noticeably brightened. "Wanna play a game? I know lots of games."
Zack composed himself. "Peeves, you can see I have a guest with me. How about you
come back in a few hours and we can play a game then. Okay?"
"Okay! I'll be back." Peeves zoomed around the room sing-songing we're gonna
play a game, over and over until he disappeared through the ceiling.
Zack and Ginny took deep breaths, waited for a minute, and then let them out, as it
appeared Peeves was really gone.
"Do you think we can pick up where we left off?" Zack asked hopefully.
Ginny took a look at the clock. "I only have about an hour before I need to leave, so we
need to get busy." She winked at him and they started to kiss.
Rap, rap, rap. Someone was knocking on the door. They stopped in mid-kiss and looked
into each other's eyes.
"This isn't going to happen, is it?" Zack said, rubbing his left hand roughly
through his hair.
"Apparently not," she answered getting up and reaching for her cloak.
Rap, rap, rap. "Is Ginny Weasley in there?" It sounded like a female voice.
"I think that's Professor McGonagall. I wonder what she wants?" Ginny got out of bed,
took a quick look in the mirror, made a few minor adjustments and went to the door.
Ginny opened the door and greeted Professor McGonagall.
"Albus…I mean the Headmaster told me I might find you here." She looked
disapprovingly at Zack and spoke again to Ginny. "I was wondering if you could give me
a hand with something."
Ginny looked back at Zack and smiled a wry smile. "I would be happy to. What
is it?"
"Well, it's…I'd rather not…"
The professor clearly was not comfortable, and Zack guessed what kind of help she
needed, but was surprised given her age. You go girl.
"No need to specify, I'll be right with you." The professor stepped out of the room and
closed the door behind her.
"Well Zack, you know what they say about best laid plans…"
"Yeah, they sometimes go to shit." Zack walked over and gave her a firm hug and a nice
kiss. "I take it once the term starts this kind of visit won't happen?"
"One never knows, Zack." She winked at him and headed toward the door, flashing her
undergarments one more time. At the door, she turned and gave Zack a meaningful look.
"Give Professor Snape my regards."
"You're bad Ginny, so bad." Zack watched her close the door and went over to look out
the window.
"Zacky wacky ready to play a game now?" Peeves had returned.
Zack hung his head. He turned to face Peeves and saw that Russell had come back into
the room.
"Kitty, kitty...we loves kitties!" Peeves exclaimed clapping his hands. Russell fled.
Fine friend you are.
"Let's play chewing-more-and-more-gum-until-we-choke," Peeves suggested pulling a
huge wad of already chewed gum out of his pants.
Who would have thought I'd be longing for the days when I was only doomed…
&&&&&&&&&&&&
My continuing gratitude to Juliane, Crow, and Lillith for their editing skills and
patience with my "creative" use of grammar.
Please review! Thanks.