Title: Light My Fire

Author: Yugure

Genre: Humor/Romance – Z/L

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or the characters. I don't own the song "Light My Fire" by TM Revolution or "Spicy Essence" by Masami Okui.

Author Notes: Due to the, ahem, "delicate" requests of some readers, here's the next chapter in Light My Fire. :) I had no idea this story was that good. Thanks for the kick in the butt to keep writing it. I know it's short, but it's all I can do right now while I figure out where I want the story to go.

Chapter 3 – Spicy Essence

The clock on the wall ticked away the seconds with audible clicks. Zelgadis fidgeted and averted his gaze from Lina, whose gaze bore down on him like a semi on the freeway.

"Well?" Lina prompted, dragging Cat over to lie on her lap. The feline looked miffed for a moment, considered biting off a finger, but gave in to the gentle rubbing around its ears.

"What else is there to say? You didn't believe me when I told you a half-hour ago," Zelgadis mumbled, jamming his hands deep into his pockets. He turned to stare out the window.

"After the way Sylphiel acted, I'll believe almost anything. You don't know her, so you don't know that she's the most modest, humble person I've ever met."

"And if I told you that for the past couple of weeks I've been the object of every woman's desires, what would you say?" Zelgadis didn't bother to face Lina. For one, Lina was the sort of person that her words and tone of voice pretty much gave away all her thoughts, and for another, he didn't want to see the look of painful disbelief. Again.

"Under any other circumstances, I would say 'Go to hell, you pompous bastard,' but now… well, I still say you're a pompous bastard, but I'm willing to hear your explanation." Lina's voice hinted at concealed skepticism and curiosity.

"Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence," Zelgadis replied. He sighed. "Look, I don't know what happened. I was walking home, I ran into some lady and knocked down her papers, I helped her, and I walked away. I rounded the corner and I was mobbed. Simple as that."

"What I don't get is, if every other girl is after you, why am I not completely crazy for you?" Lina had a sudden flashback to when Zelgadis first told her his problem. "And yes, I'm a girl, and heterosexual, and a human," she snapped, before Zelgadis could even open his mouth to reply. "Have you seen a doctor yet? Or even a psychiatrist?"

"No," Zelgadis said sullenly. "I haven't been able to leave the apartment for that long."

"You're kidding."
"No, I'm not. Haven't we been through this? If you really didn't believe me, you wouldn't be here."

"Okay, sorry. You're right. But I think you should see a doctor or something. Maybe…" Lina snapped her fingers absentmindedly. "Maybe you're body is producing too many hormones, or you're releasing pheromones."

"Maybe…" Zelgadis did not sound convinced.

"Well, was there anything extremely out of the ordinary that happened that day, before the 'incident'?" Lina pressed further.

"Not really. Went and got coffee like I normally do when I'm out…" Zelgadis's mind kept flashing by the dazzling woman on the street. "The woman I ran into, she was really… different. Something about her was unlike anything I'd ever seen or felt before…"

"Eww… guy emotions," Lina snorted. "This chick can't possibly be as hot as you think she is…"

"No, it's not that. There was something… something different than that, even. She was beautiful, yes, but… I don't know."

"So are you implying this chick has supernatural powers that somehow made you hot shit - no, excuse me, THE Hot Shit - and now every woman (with myself being the exception) in a 5 mile radius wants to get into your pants?"

"Basically, yeah."

"If I hadn't seen your chick magnetism in action I would say you're the most egotistical guy I've ever met, and that's including my last boyfriend." Lina rolled her eyes. "I kid you not, he slept with a mirror propped on his nightstand so the first thing he'd see in the morning was himself."

Zelgadis guiltily thought of the small mirror on his own nightstand, into which he looked, every morning as soon as he woke, to check for gray hairs or the bald spot he knew would appear any day now. His father went gray early in life, and baldness was inevitable. But surely, his was a much less narcissistic reason, yes?

"Pretty ridiculous, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty ridiculous," Zelgadis replied, voice faint.

"I don't suppose you got a look at any of her papers?" Lina inquired.

"What?"
"The woman you ran into. Her papers? You said you knocked them down and you helped her get them back. Did you see anything on those papers?"

"Uhhh… not that I remember… let me think about that…" Zelgadis wracked his brain, trying to remember anything; any words, pictures, graphs. A vague image of wing and a circle of light came to the forefront of his mind. "Does… a white wing and a circle of gold sound familiar?"

"Vaguely… was there a name by this logo?"

"There must have been… But I didn't read any of the words."

They stared at each other in silence for a while.

"AHA!" Lina jumped. "I know what it is!"

"You do?" Zelgadis asked, incredulous.

"It's a travel agency, I think. It has a stupid name, something like Angel Express or Quick Wings."

"I've never heard of it before…"

"It's new." Lina began pulling on her shoes. "I walked by the office last week and I had to laugh. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen. They've got these huge ugly angels in the front window and this horrible logo painted on the glass. I think we should go there, just to check it out. Maybe she works there, maybe she's a customer someone will have remembered."

"Well… that's great and all, but I still can't leave the building."

"Oh… Yeah. Forgot about that."

They looked at each other for another long moment, each wracking their brain for a solution. At least, Lina seemed to be thinking about the problem at hand. Zelgadis was thinking of how cute Lina's ears were, and how pretty the color of her hair was, and how well her babydoll tee fit her che-

"Are you staring at my breasts?" Lina suddenly demanded, her gaze sharpening. Zelgadis whipped his head up, mentally willing the blush on his cheeks to go away.

"No," he lied. Lina scoffed.

"You men are all the effin' same," she said. "Just keep your eyes above the neck, buddy, and I won't have to break your arm."

Better my arm than… something else, Zelgadis thought, casting his gaze to the clock on the wall, just to be safe.

"Could we dress you up as a woman, maybe?"

"Are you kidding?" Zelgadis couldn't help looking at Lina again, who, to his horror, looked dead serious.

"Hey, do you have any better ideas?"

"How do we know it has to do with what I look like? I mean… I mean…."

"Look, you don't know what happened to you or how it works. For all you know, maybe it IS how you look that's attracting all the women. I can't explain it, but it's worth a shot."

"…I cannot believe I'm going to let you do this…"