Simon hurried down the catwalk steps to the airlock controls, but River must have activated the airlock release from the bridge because the inner hatch was already fully open by the time he reached the bay floor. He noted that Kaylee had not appeared in the hold, which sluiced a fresh wave of guilt through his gut. The hover-mule, however, was already trundling inside, and his attention had to focus on the returning crew. As always, he visually checked each crewmember for injuries; thankfully, none were obvious. Mal even seemed to be smiling. The mule was riding low, heavily laden with numerous plastic containers, each about the size of a boot box. Mal deftly parked the mule at the rear of the bay, and the crew climbed out.
Even before her feet hit deckplating, Zoe asked, "Emma still with Inara?"
"That she is," Simon told her. "She's probably still sleeping."
Zoe headed up the steps towards the shuttle, as Jayne and Mal started to remove strapping from the cargo.
"Any problems, Captain?" Simon strode over to help them unload.
"Now why do you think there'd be problems, Doc?" Mal replied with a tone of mock hurt.
"Perhaps you should review the ship's medical log, Captain."
Jayne snorted loudly on the other side of the hovercraft.
Mal just grinned wider. "Nah. Easy peasy. See?" He held his arms aloft and turned around in place like he was modeling his brown duster. "Not a scratch on me. Well, no new scratches anyway."
"So, what's the cargo?" Simon asked.
"Building supplies: bolts, nails, screws, and such."
"Legal, then?" Simon said hopefully.
Mal waggled his head. "Mostly."
Simon lifted an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?"
Jayne grabbed a box and shook it easily. "Each box's got a special surprise!"
"Bugs!" River shouted as she skipped down the steps from the bridge. She shared a gleeful look with Jayne, and the two of them started laughing at some inside joke.
"Electronic listening devices," Mal explained. "The metal bits in each crate shields 'em from cargo scanners dockside." He lowered his voice and looked pointedly at Simon. "For the Resistance."
Simon held Mal's gaze a moment, and then nodded his understanding and set to work helping Jayne offload the mule. Mal worked on securing the hover, while River took a seat on the portside steps and watched the proceedings with a small smile on her lips.
Simon and Jayne quickly unloaded and stowed the boxes in a hidey-hole. There were not a large number of crates, due to the mule's limited weight capacity. Mal told him the larger portion of the cargo – bugless – would be ready for pickup in town the next morning, and they would move Serenity then to complete a seemingly normal, legal cargo transfer.
On Simon's last trip to the growing stash, Inara and Zoe, holding Emma, came out of the shuttle and onto the catwalk directly above his head. He paused a second to enjoy the scene of Zoe happily bouncing her little girl. A moment later, River dashed in front of him and plucked the box neatly from his hands, and before he could protest, Jayne plowed into him from behind and sent him sprawling on the deck.
"The hell?!" Jayne barked. "Whatcha doin', Doc?"
"I was looking at Emma!" Simon shot back. "Were you watching where you were going at all?"
"No! I was looking at the baby, too!"
The cargo bay echoed silence for a full second, and then the absurdity of the moment broke over Simon. He started laughing out loud. Jayne joined in a second later, followed quickly by River, Zoe, and Inara.
Mal's impatient voice boomed across the bay. "Enough already. Back to work, people!"
Jayne held out a hand to Simon and helped him up. "Gotta learn to walk and ogle at the same time, Doc."
"Yes, I can see that would be one of your more useful skills."
Jayne took the jibe in the spirit intended, and clapped Simon on the back. "'Deed it is, Doc." He cracked a lascivious grin. "Oglin's always free, but stoppin' can get expensive. 'Less, o' course, you got the coin to spare."
Simon just rolled his eyes. He retrieved his box from River, who had watched the whole episode with great amusement. She pecked a kiss on his cheek, then scampered out of the bay in the direction of the passenger dorms.
Simon set the box in the hole and turned around, unexpectedly finding Mal looming a half-step away.
Mal glowered at Simon. "Where's my mechanic?"
Simon's mouth went dry. "She... We... I... I was going to check the engine room after we finished here."
Mal cast a hard stare at Simon, and then looked up. Simon followed his gaze to catch an answering look for the captain from Zoe. After a moment, Zoe shifted her gaze to Simon and called down, "Doc, can we meet in the infirmary? I've got a question on Emma's supplements."
"Of course, Zoe. Be right there." Simon returned his attention to Mal, who still crowded him against the cargo pile. "Captain," he gestured to the side, "if I may?"
Mal did not move. "I'll check for Kaylee in the engine room myself." Mal paused and seemed to grow an inch taller. "If I don't find her there, I think there might be occasion for serious conversation, dŏng ma?"
Simon nodded and replied as evenly as he could, "Yes, sir."
Mal stood aside, and Simon scooted away from him and darted up the steps to his infirmary.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Zoe, with Emma in her arms, entered the medbay three seconds after Simon. "What can I do for you?" Simon asked as he gestured towards the exam chair.
Zoe set Emma on the chair, gave her a firefly-shaped rattle, and then turned to face Simon. "I lied," she said. "I don't have a medical question. I was talking with Inara."
"Oh." Simon sank against the countertop.
"I've held my tongue for months because you and Kaylee are none of my business, but it does seem that you are stuck."
"Well..."
"I ain't gonna lecture you, Doc."
"Thank you for that."
"I'm just gonna give you a bit of advice that Wash gave me."
Simon's attention spiked. Zoe rarely spoke her husband's name. She talked about her husband often enough and never objected when anyone else brought him up, but she still kept his name to herself, even a year-and-a-half since his death. Simon nodded respectfully.
"He told me once," Zoe continued, "he was not so afraid to lose something that he wouldn't try to have it. It's the reason I finally agreed to marry him." She paused and gathered her daughter back into her arms. "It's also the reason we had Emma."
Simon met her gaze for a long breath and then nodded. "Thank you, Zoe," he said quietly.
"Good luck, Doc." She moved past him and out the hatchway. He felt her hand pat his shoulder.
Before she started up the stairs, he called to her, and she turned back. He hesitated, carefully choosing his words. He and Zoe had grown close enough during her pregnancy that he thought he could ask the question that came to his mind. "Maybe this is not my place to ask, and if so, please forgive the presumption, but..." Simon paused. Zoe did not appear concerned, so he continued cautiously, "If Wash were still here... and he wanted to leave the ship to raise Emma... would you have gone?"
Zoe's expression barely changed, but he knew her enough now to tell she was not offended. She looked at Emma, and her face melted into a warm smile. "That was a point of contention between us before," she said softly, directing her answer to her daughter. "And I'm sure woulda been the subject of many an argument was he still here." Zoe looked back at Simon, and finished pointedly, "But I would give most everything I have to be able to have those arguments with him now."
With that, she turned and headed up the stairs to the crew level, leaving Simon to nod his gratitude to an empty room.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Simon did not find Kaylee in the engine room, but he did find an irate Captain Reynolds. Both of them knew well that if Kaylee had not taken refuge with her beloved girl, things were very bad indeed with her. "I'll find her," Simon promised as he backed out of the hatchway.
The next likely place was their bunk, so Simon hurried up the aft corridor, past the galley – a quick glance confirming she was not curled up on the couch in the common area – and on up to the crew level. The twinkle lights were off around the sign above their quarters, but Simon noted with a bit of relief that the placard with his name was still affixed to the display. The original and added signs still cheerily read "Kaylee's and Simon's Room" with two hearts overlaid across the join. He could not remember now what argument had precipitated the one-time removal of his name several months ago after Kaylee had banished him back to his old passenger dorm. It had taken three days, then, to settle their spat and earn his way back into her good graces, but whatever that dispute had been, he knew it had nothing on the level of seriousness of their current issues. Kaylee had apologized then for her childishness in taking down his name, so the presence of his placard now could mean nothing. Still, he took it as a hopeful sign.
Simon pushed open the hatch and called her name down into the bunk. No answer, but he did see her dress from before wadded in a heap at the base of the ladder.
"She's not there."
Simon spun around to find River leaning against the bulkhead at the end of the corridor by the bridge. She had a bundle of what looked like heavy black cloth wrapped around her arms and a look of infinite patience on her face.
"Mèi mèi, do you know where Kaylee is?"
She pointed toward the bridge. Simon nodded in thanks and trotted up the steps to the flightdeck. "Kaylee," he called as he stepped through the hatch – but did not see her. He looked under both flight consoles, but she was not working there. Nor was she in the small bay in front of the consoles. In confusion, he turned back to his sister, who had followed him onto the bridge.
"River, where is Kaylee?" he enunciated carefully, working to keep the impatience from his voice.
River moved up beside him, physically turned his body to face out the viewport, and pointed into the distance. "Out there," she said calmly.
Simon followed her finger and finally saw Kaylee, standing several meters away out on the desert. His heart leaped in relief. She faced away from Serenity, her arms wrapped around herself. She was too far away to read her mood, but he knew he had left her alone far too long.
Simon turned and started out of the bridge, intent to reach Kaylee as quickly as possible.
"Wait!" River stopped him.
He turned back, and she held out the bundle she had been holding. "You'll want this."
Simon unraveled the cloth from her arm to discover his warm coat. He smiled his gratitude and shrugged it on.
"This, too." She held out a small red box in her hand.
Simon recognized it and froze. It took a moment to find his voice. "That's..." he faltered. "That's yours. I... I brought that for you."
She shook her head. "Brought it to sell."
"I kept it for you," he said softly.
She shook her head again, but with a small smile. "Kept it for you. For memories." She grasped his hand and placed the box in his palm. "Now, it's for her. And new memories. And tradition." River looked up at him and pointedly raised an eyebrow.
This was the one topic he had refused to discuss with his sister, despite her numerous attempts, and he reacted automatically. "River, you presume too much." His voice came out small, with little heat.
"Do I?" She wrapped his fingers around the box and then placed her hand on his shoulder. "Do I?"
He stared at the box. He knew Kaylee had wanted what this box represented for some time. For all his deferral, it was something he wanted, too, if he was honest. He had even thought as much earlier today, before he and Kaylee went on their brief walk, before their argument. And yet he had doubts.
"A head of trauma is not permitted to have any," River continued, shaking her head sadly. She touched her hand over his heart and smiled comfortingly. "Fear shrouded so deep, even I couldn't see it."
Simon knitted his brow, trying to unravel her meaning.
"She's not Dad," River continued.
Simon scowled.
"She's not Mother, either."
"River, what...?"
River shook her head as if chiding a young child. "She's not Eliza, Simon."
"Eliza?" Simon echoed, confused. "Who is – ?" And it came to him: Eliza Olema-Chien. Doug's wife. Who elected to stay on Osiris when Doug took up his exalted new position on Sihnon. To stay with her ailing mother, the article said, but in language all but declaring there was a rift between husband and wife. A husband and a wife whom Simon had once ranked among the happiest he had ever seen in his life, to the point that he had envied the couple's closeness.
He stared at his sister as comprehension dawned in his head, as if he was peeling apart two pages that had been stuck together in an old book, to find a new piece of the story that finally made sense of the rest.
River looked at him smugly. "She is Kaylee," she stated firmly, as if that would explain everything.
Maybe after all this time, Simon was finally beginning to understand his sister's unique mode of expression, because he finally heard her words and the assurance in them. Assurance that Kaylee was indeed different, special, a treasure beyond worth. Kaylee would never disappoint him. His heart began to pound in his chest as his hesitation evaporated. Doubt transformed into hope, and uncertainty flared into resolve. If she would, he would, too.
River's look expanded to a big, knowing grin. "About gorramn time," she whispered.
Simon glanced back out the bridge window towards Kaylee's form, arms still clutched around her middle – and his resolve quailed. "I'm not sure she'll even listen to me now, River."
"She'll listen. She'll always listen. Just speak so the words don't trip."
If only it were that easy. "What do I tell her?"
"Home is where the heart is, Simon."
He blinked. "This is what my genius sister comes up with?" Simon said dryly. "Ancient platitudes?"
"Some platitudes are complexities boiled down to a simple truth. In this case, it is apt."
He weighed the little box in his hand and then held it out to her. "You... wouldn't mind? You would be okay, if I... if we...?"
River rolled her eyes and shoved the box back at this chest. "Your heart can hold multitudes, Simon: me, jiě-jiě, Emma, Inara, Zoe. Even Mal." She giggled. "Even Jayne."
She ignored Simon's skeptical look and continued, "Besides, haven't you figured out how this works?" She tapped her temple. "When you are happy, I am happy." She pointed urgently out the door. "Now, go! Go be happy!"
Without further thought, Simon pocketed the little box in his coat and dashed off the bridge.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...