It's not mine; it's all J.K. Rowling's.

Chapter 2: In Which Lily is in Distress

or

In Which Lily Breaks a Desk ... Again

Where we last saw our heroine:

Why, of course, it put my lips right on top of his!

ooo...ooo

How silly of me to even think I could have landed on his chest or on his shoulder or even on his neck for crying out loud!

So I stayed there, lying on top of him, lips attached for a good 3 seconds, trying to figure out how in the world this had happened when James apparently decided that being a gentlemen was over rated.

You may be asking how I came to this conclusion ...

Well, truthfully, it was actually quite obvious when he rolled us over so he was on top and started kissing me like I was oxygen and he was a drowning man.

I couldn't help it; I had to kiss him back.

It's just that I've been feeling rather crazy since his lips first touched mine and maybe if I kiss back, it'll stop.

Just to let you know, I happen to think self delusion is a grand thing.

I was so caught up in his smell and how soft his lips were, I barely even registered McGonagall's voice in the background saying, "Really children, couldn't you take that else where?"

James didn't pay her any mind, so consequently neither did I. He just continued pressing kisses to my lips and running his hands feverishly through my hair. It's going to be wreck when he's through. I hope I still have that extra hairbrush in my bag.

What finally split us apart was a loud wolf whistle from the door way.

James pulled back from me, looking slightly surprised. He removed one of his hands from my hair and never taking his eyes from mine, shot his best friend a rather rude hand gesture.

Finally able to breathe ... and think ... I inched out from under him and used the desk to pull myself to my feet. I cannot believe I kissed him. I'm going to die of embarrassment. Refusing to meet anyone's eyes, I carefully made my way back to my desk.

Once I arrived, I grabbed on for dear life and watched as other students began filing into the room. At least they hadn't seen me and James. Just thinking of the mortification made me shiver with horror.

Stepping with care I made my way around my desk to pick up my chair. I bent down to get it, but before I could grab it a pair of very nice strong hands grabbed it for me. I honestly didn't process who's hands they were until I looked up into James' hazel eyes.

In fact, that was pretty much all I saw since I found myself instantly kissing him. It was the oddest thing. I hadn't meant to kiss him. I'd just lifted my head to find it a good few inches from his and then we were kissing.

Normally kissing requires a good deal closer proximity than a few inches and I am quite sure that neither of us moved. Quite odd. I tried to pull back, but found I couldn't.

Oh dear. I struggled back more forcefully, but I could feel James start to fall toward me, so I stopped. Good Gods, I could see it now. He would fall into me and we'd tumble down onto my desk and break it ... again.

Luckily I've thought ahead, so that wouldn't be happening. Unfortunately I wasn't thinking far enough ahead to stop another one of Potter's Panicky Plans.

He pulled back hard, tugging me with him, just as I predicted, except it was his fault (the stupid git), not mine. I tripped spectacularly over my chair, flinging my arms out trying to stay balanced. Of course, it didn't work and I went tumbling into his chest, which is very nice, but that's not important since James lost his balance as well and we went tumbling onto the desk behind us.

Funnily enough that desk isn't any sturdier than it was last time I fell on it. It shattered with a lovely little crash. We tumbled to the floor and upon our rather rough impact with the ground; I bounced off James' chest and landed rather hard on my rear, just outside of the debris.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, control yourselves and STOP destroying my desks!" McGonagall shouted half-heartedly as James rolled to his knees and crawled to his desk.

I struggled to my feet as James hoisted himself into his chair and turned to his best friend, who had taken the seat beside his and said, "I don't think today's my day."

Sirius howled with laughter. "Au contraire mon ami!"

James raised his eyebrow. "How did you learn French?"

The bell rang as McGonagall fixed the desk behind mine for the second time. The second time! I've broken 3 desks today. Three!

I think I'm going to have a panic attack. Great, now McGonagall's glaring at me. I guess I'm just going to have to postpone that panic attack.

Calmly maneuvering around my chair, which was back on the ground, I picked it up, set it firmly on the ground, and smartly sat down.

Alright, lets be truthful; I am not calm. I will not be calm for a very long time. In fact, I will probably never ever be calm again. But I'm sure I've mentioned I'm into self-delusion, so I'm going to pretend anyway.

At least my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. No, I take that back because I don't want to look at the bright side right now. I am pretty darn well set up here on the complaining and moping side and you can't make me leave. So HA!

Oh dear, did I say that HA out loud? Oops, must have. I'm having such a bad day.

Seeing that McGonagall had turned to write something on the chalk board, I let my head thunk down on my desk. I wish I were invisible. I need to find a potion or, better yet, a charm that will do that.

"I don't think today's my day," I whispered to myself.

"Au contraire mon amie," someone whispered back and I nearly shot out of my chair. I whipped around to see that my best friend Ally had taken the seat beside me. I let out a huge sigh. Goodness, she'd scared me, I hadn't even realized she was there.

Great, not only did kissing Potter make me into Miss Klutz, I am now Miss Unobservant/Blind.

"When did you learn to speak French?" I shot back suspiciously, more annoyed that I hadn't noticed she was there than actually wanting to know.

Ally just smiled this annoying smile that she seems to be wearing constantly as of late and said, "Nowhere."

Nowhere my foot! I bet she's taking lessons. Ok, that was kind of obvious, wasn't it? I guess Miss Obvious needs to be added to that list of new problems I have. I rolled my eyes, partly at myself and partly at 'nowhere' (Just to let you know, no where should be said with an appropriately squeaky and annoying voice that best fits the stupidest person you know. Why? Because it's 20 times stupider than that person and I hate it!).

Ahem, so I've decided to go back to ignoring the world. It's working pretty well right now. I'm imagining that I'm in a nice tropical place which is most certainly somewhere, and has no James Tristan Potter anywhere near it. He's actually on the other side of the world, the exact geographical other side. Merlin, fantasies like this are so pleasant.

On my next venture into the world to see what everyone was doing, I discovered that we were supposed to be transfiguring rocks into rabbits. I'm not even going to bother trying. With my luck, I'd probably end up with a fire-breathing dragon or something equally unpleasant.

"Miss Evans, I understand that you'd rather not tempt fate anymore today," McGonagall said, patting my shoulder, "But I really must insist that you at least make an attempt at the transfiguration. I'm sure Potter will save you if it turns out too badly."

I could feel my ears heating up as she walked away. It wasn't like I meant to kiss him or anything. In fact, the only reason I had kissed him was because I have some crappy invisible strings tying my head to his.

Umm ... so I might be going slightly insane and I might also be a bit paranoid, but there are worse things, like fire-breathing dragons.

I looked reluctantly at my rock, then I looked at Ally's bunny. She was scratching it's ears.

There is no way I'll ever be able to do this.

"It's not hard, Lily," Ally said.

I know she's trying to help, but I hate it when she says that. It always makes me feel even stupider when I can't do it. Feeling rather doubtful as to what the outcome of this attempt would be, I half-heartedly waved my wand. I know I used the correct incantation and the correct wand movements, I always do. They just never work. It's so vexing. I've worked with McGonagall on it and she can't figure out what I'm doing.

Heck, I'm so desperate I even willingly worked with Potter on it and he, self-proclaimed Transfiguration Master of us All, couldn't figure it out. McGonagall's been surprisingly helpful about the whole thing though, she always makes sure to include a few questions on the practical exams that are only wand movements and not the actual transfiguration of things. It's that and that alone that keeps me from miserably failing this class.

I watched with a detached interest as my rock disappeared.

"Well done," I congratulated myself, "Nothing terrible happened."

Then with a loud pop, a giant sunflower in a nicely engraved clay pot appeared on my desk. That wasn't bad; I like sunflowers.

Then it turned to look at me. Alright, moving sunflowers are nice, even if they have beady little eyes that are kind of creepy.

Then it snarled, showing it's rather viscious looking teeth.

I've decided that I don't like this sunflower very much and I have the sneaking suspicion that it might be carnivorous.

I threw my hands up in front of my face as it lunged at me. Before it had a chance to use my arms for chew toys, I was knocked out of my chair by a particularly heavy person. (Three guesses who.)

I'm not trying to be rude by insulting his weight or anything, but since he landed on top of me I think I'm allowed to complain a bit. He might not ordinarily be considered 'heavy', but when he's launched himself at you, forcibly knocked you out of a chair, and pinned you to the floor, he's pretty darn heavy. I'm going to have some lovely bruises come tomorrow ... darn carnivorous sunflower, this is all its fault.

James (yes, for those smart people out there who guessed James, you were right) rolled off of me and I gratefully took a gulp of air. The sunflower turned to snap at Ally and she scrambled out of her chair.

James fumbled his wand out of his pocket from where he was lying on the floor and with a very impressive flourish of his wand yelled, "Immobulus!"

The sunflower froze and Ally took that as an opportunity to dash back to the table and grab her bunny before retreating again. James turned to me and I opened my mouth to thank him and then his lips were on mine. I swear I hadn't thought we were that close.

I shoved James away, using all of my strength and our lips jerked apart. The momentum of my shove slid me across the well polished, slightly slippery floor, and under my desk. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the underside of the desk. Who would have thought that giant potted carnivorous sunflowers weigh so much?

At least I'm assuming that's what the growing cracks on the underside of my desk mean. This just isn't my day, is it? Sighing heavily, I rolled myself out the other side of the desk. I'd just cleared the edge when the whole thing came collapsing down. I rolled a few more turns away and then stopped.

I decided that perhaps the best solution to all of this was to pretend it wasn't happening. So I just lay there and examined the interesting array of spit balls on the ceiling while people bustled around and tried to clean up my mess.

I heard James cursing loudly while Sirius laughed. Apparently the sunflower had gotten a hold of James' leg. I would have turned to look, but I'm kind of getting paranoid about Potter. Why do I always end up kissing him? Well not always, but today. In fact, I've never kissed him except for today.

Wow, what a story that will be for the grand kids, "Yes, children, our first kiss was when we accidentally broke a desk and fell on top of each other." That would just go over so well.

Wait! Hold on, back up, rewind, pause!

Who in the world said we were going to have grandkids? Because if I recall correctly to have grandkids one must first have kids and in order to have those one would have to be ... well at the very least on good relations with the other parent of said kids, and I am not having good relations of that sort (or any sort) with James Potter!

What a laugh, me, Lily Marie Evans, having kids with Potter. Oh boy, that's about as likely as ... as McGonagall deciding to wear her hair down! Speaking (or thinking really) of McGonagall, her head has just appeared in my field of view. I guess she wishes to speak with me.

"I think I need to leave," I told her in a whisper.

"How does the Hospital Wing sound?" She asked.

"I'm not sick."

"I realize that Miss Evans, but you need to leave and Mr. Potter needs to go to the Hospital Wing, so I thought we could simply combine the two."

I nodded before I even thought about it. McGonagall has a way of doing that to you. She simply presents an idea to you in such a matter of fact voice that you can't help but agree. As I sat up, I realized that I'd just sentenced myself to a tramp through the halls, alone, with Potter. Ugh. I feel like knocking my head into something hard, and preferably smooth.

I looked at the floor, hmmm ... that could work.

Before I could try it out, I was jerked to my feet by the back of my robes. After I got my feet under me, the hand let go and I primly brushed off my robes. I turned around to see, of all people, Sirius Black, James' best friend, looking at me. I blinked a few times.

He didn't magically disappear. I guess he must be real.

"Ordinarily," he began, "I'm the one who takes James to the Hospital Wing when he gets himself hurt."

"Ok ..." I said, when he didn't seem inclined to continue.

"There are some things you need to know if you're going to properly do this monumental task. First, even if he says he's ok, he's not. In fact, he's especially not. Second, don't let him convince you to sneak him out of the hospital wing. Those sorts of things just never work out the way you plan. Third, if he gives you a problem like, stopping and refusing to continue because he doesn't want to go, or pretending he's forgotten some large essay he needs to complete before taking a trip to the Hospital Wing, remind him that you know about the Soybean Incident."

"Soybean Incident?" I interjected.

"What it is isn't important," Sirius said, with a casual wave of his hand, "Just keep it in mind. Yes, so fourth, if he tries to run away you need to remind him of why he is going to the Hospital Wing. The easiest way to do this is to kick, punch, poke, and/or scratch him in the area he's injured himself, this time being his leg. The pain that this reminder causes him will convince him that the Hospital Wing really is his best option."

There was an impatient cough from James, who was leaning by the door, his leg bleeding rather profusely on the floor.

"Right, I'll skip to the end of things then. Finally, if he claims that he is too weak to continue and would simply like to die on the floor in peace, remind him that if he dies he will never see you again."

"Me?"

"Works like a charm; he perks right up."

I looked at Sirius feeling at a loss. Does he actually expect me to believe that James sees me as a reason to live?

"Well, get going," he said, with a shooing motion.

I guess I'll have to ponder later. It seems a bit far fetched though. After all, it's not like we're madly in love or something.

ooo...ooo

Thanks for reviewing! If you feel so inclined, I would appreciate it if you reviewed again. Hopefully I'll have a new chapter up soon!

Lorwyn Daystar - Yes, you should go edit the rest of my fic. Then I could post it before smart camp. BUT before you edit the fic you should most certainly and without a doubt finish your letter because I'm bored and have nothing to do and you pinky promised! I think the new title is stupid, but no one would get the title except for you and me, so I figured I had to change it. Why I chose something so cliched, though, is beyond me.

crazie4areason - Yes, I will be writing more. I actually have about 15,000 words already typed up. I'm just waiting for my beta reader to get through them.

The Big Dance - Well it's not actually a one chapter fic, but it's also not exactly going anywhere specific. Well ... it's going somewhere ... it's just the where part that's a mystery. I'd be happy to read your fics sometime, but I have to warn you I'm a terrible reviewer. I usually manage about one line before I completely loose track of what I wanted to say.

sumrandumperson - Nope, not a one shot.

Withered Quill - Thanks. I love J/L too!

Queen Elizabeth I - Thanks a REALLY REALLY REALLY lot! (Sorry, I couldn't resist; really's are just so much fun.)

Thanks for reviewing! - portmanroxmysoxs, BEATLESROCKSODOESHP, passionflower24, CC, cath-a2ff, HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle, fae, drumer girl, cuddlyjill